Fansub Review: [Commie] Another (Episode 04)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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And now for Commie’s entry.

Release format: MKV (10-bit, 181 MB)

Japanesiness: No honorifics. Japanese name order.

Font: Shows lowercase q’s in their capitalized form.

Trolls: Three in this episode — Commie logo stamped the OP/outro and had some stupid logo bouncing in place of the sponsor screen.

Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

8thsin’s translation critique: http://8ths.in/winter-2011-anime-subtitle-comparison/#Another

Ji-hi’s screenshot comparisons: http://www.ji-hi.net/wi11/another/

 

Karaoke.

Opening.

Colors change every other line and they do fun things with the lines to make them fade away (I’d have to have 15 or so screenshots just to show everything they did). Doing cool things with the karaoke is something I’m totally fine with and I especially like that Commie’s experimenting in this area.

But the font makes it impossible to read. I might not mind an unreadable English font in most OP/EDs (I tend to follow along with the Japanese because I sure as hell don’t give a shit about what they’re singing about), but when it’s the only thing you’re offering… it kinda matters.

Ending. The lines flowed smoothly from one side to the other as the characters on-screen did. And the font was actually readable too. High-fives are clearly in order for that one.

 

Typesetting.

The typesetting works. I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other here. I did quite like the “Blue Eyes” sign, though. It blended well.

 

Script.

Now here’s the thing. Commie’s script feels… quite different from the others’. I’m gonna assume Xythar really took it as his own considering the idioms and phrases tossed in (ex “Fancy meeting you here.” said by Mei, when I never saw anything even approaching such colloquialism before in her speech, especially since she sounds so dry in Japanese).

One thing I wanna get out of the way, though. Yes, this is based at a school, but it’s also a horror-drama where stiff language isn’t out of the ordinary. I haven’t seen anything close to approaching a personality in any of the characters so far, so turning the script into something well-suited to a school comedy may not be the best idea. ‘Course, I don’t know shit, so perhaps these characters really do need more free-flowing language. I’m not gonna argue one way or the other, but there’s a definite risk in going this route. I’d wanna see what 8th thinks of this script.

As it stands, Commie gets the same standalone treatement I gave the other groups, so here goes:

Nobody says this. Try “June 6th, huh?”

If you still don’t get it, try rephrasing the line with the 1st of the month. “June 1, huh?” sounds like shit.

I understand that commas are awesome, but a semicolon or a period would do better here. Comma splices aren’t always bad, but this isn’t the right time or place for one.

Commas: the jacks-of-all-trades… except not really. Use a colon here. Read this line by itself and you’ll see that under the wrong circumstance it could be reread “Misaki Mei, about the girl you mentioned yesterday…” So don’t do it. There’s no fucking reason to avoid a colon here.

“About the girl you mentioned yesterday: Misaki Mei.”

Hell, even an ellipsis would work if you wanted it to.  Just no comma, kthx.

 

Watchability: Quite watchable.

Overall grade: B+

I like my kara readable, my trolls innocuous or non-existent, and my scripts perfect. This is still a damn good release, but I’m not seeing why I’d recommend it over Underwater at all. I know the script edits were substantial, but on a show like this, I’m more wary of them than anything.

0 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Commie] Another (Episode 04)”

  1. “Fancy meeting you here” wasn’t one of mine, actually. That one was in the original CR script and I left it alone since it seemed to fit well enough. Overall, I aimed to keep appropriate levity in the flippant parts of the script while keeping the more dramatic parts serious.

    I dunno, though – you pretty much completely ignored every line I did change for the better. Here are a few examples, all from this episode – I’m going to list them in the order of original, then Underwater, then Commie. In most cases, several lines have been joined to fit in more information.

    >It’s the school’s most famous secret. The curse of class 3, and the story that started it all 26 years ago.
    >It’s the school’s most famous secret. The curse of class 3, and the story that started it all 26 years ago.
    >It’s the school’s most notorious secret. The curse of class 3, and the story of when it all began 26 years ago.

    The story didn’t start anything. The story is *about* when everything started.

    >But you witnessed such an awful sight. That sort of thing can affect the body.
    >But you witnessed such a gruesome event. That sort of thing can affect the body.
    >Even after what happened the other day? That kind of shock can be bad for your health.

    Stiff/unnatural phrasing. People don’t talk like this, and “sort of thing” is too ambiguous.

    >I should be home now. My night shift ended hours ago, but things keep coming up.
    >I should be home by now. My shift ended hours ago, but things keep coming up.
    >I should have finished up here hours ago, but things keep coming up.

    Original CR script has a mid-speech transition between the first two sentences (which are separate lines). Underwater got around this by joining them, but honestly I think the whole first line is unnecessary.

    >I see nothing that should affect regular school attendance.
    >This is nothing that should affect school attendance.
    >You should be fine to continue attending school normally.

    Stiff/unnatural phrasing, and I think Underwater’s line is actually worse.

    >It seems your class has some special circumstances.
    >It seems your class has some special circumstances.
    >It seems there’s something unusual about that class of yours.

    I had to ask one of the translators what this line actually meant, because the original one barely made sense to me. It’s “wake ari” which literally means “there are reasons” but is basically a circumspect way of saying that there is more going on than meets the eye. This was the most natural-sounding way I could think of to still get the meaning across.

    >But she’s not a bad person. So I hope you’ll help her out, too.
    >But she’s not a bad person. So I hope you’ll help her out, too.
    >But she’s not a bad person, so I hope you’ll look out for her as well.

    Sounded unnatural and I didn’t feel like the combination of “hope” and “help” flowed as well as it could have. I also didn’t like the way the original script began a new sentence on “So”.

    >No… No! No! No! I don’t want to die! No!
    >No… No! No! No! I don’t want to die! No!
    >No… Oh God, no! I don’t want to die! No!

    People don’t usually repeat the same word over and over for emphasis in English the same way they do in Japanese. This needed some kind of alternative exclamation to break the line up.

    >Fancy meeting you here again.
    >Fancy meeting you here again.
    >Fancy meeting you here again.

    welp

    Okay, here’s a long one:

    >Deep inside, they may have only half-believed it before. But now… Despite what they said to you, I don’t think they fully believed. But it looks like it really is true. I’d say it’s 100% likely… …that it’s already begun.

    >Deep down, they may have only half-believed. But now… Despite what they told you, I don’t think they fully believed. But it looks like it really is true. I’d say it’s 100% likely that it’s already begun.

    >Deep down inside, they may have only half believed… that it could be true. Despite what they said to you, they still had some doubt in their hearts. But it looks like it really is true. There’s no room left for doubt. It has begun.

    Okay, this one was probably the toughest conversation to work with in the script this week. Firstly, the first four or so lines don’t really make sense. She says “But now…” then trails off and just reiterates the first thing she said, instead of the segue into a contrasting statement that the “But now…” would lead you to expect.

    Second point I’d like to address is that in Japanese she literally says something along the lines of “they didn’t 100% believe it, but it looks like it’s true after all, with 100% certainty” (she very obviously says 100% twice). Not having the second usage refer back to the first loses nuance in the translation, but at the same time nobody would really say 100% in this context in English either. Hence the use of ‘still had some doubt’ / ‘no room left for doubt’. I don’t claim to be an expert in Japanese (hence why I’m an editor and not a translator) but I’m fairly confident that this is right.

    But yeah I guess there’s no point bothering with this when you can just release the CR script barely edited and get an A?

    >And explaining it poorly could be dangerous. Yeah, like getting caught in our own trap.
    >And explaining it poorly could be dangerous. Yeah, like getting caught in our own trap.
    >And explaining it poorly could be dangerous. Yeah, we’d be digging our own graves.

    Makes no sense from a literal standpoint and I don’t know how anyone could read the original line and think “yep, this is a valid English idiom”. Wish I could take credit for the replacement line, but it was unanimated’s idea. It works pretty well, considering.

    Anyway that’s enough for now, the rest is all pretty subjective but I think these examples speak louder than a few commas you disagree with (the comma splice is arguable and I straight out disagree with you about the “girl you mentioned yesterday” line). The June 6 thing is my bad though, and Underwater did indeed fix it – so if your #1 priority when looking for a fansub is correctly formatted dates, then by all means go with them.

    Other than that, though? You say you can’t see why you’d want to recommend it over Underwater. Considering these examples and the typesetting, I can’t see why you *wouldn’t* recommend it over Underwater.

    Reply
    • Of course I ignored them. You know my site, Xythar. I do tend to focus more on the errors than the positives of the phrasing. What you did is basically what the TL Parties are, which I mentioned I really wanted to do here. Of course, there’s always the time crunch I have, so I appreciate you doing it for me.

      I wasn’t able to confirm the original lines because my hotel’s internet was 50 kbps this week (no joke), and it was hard enough just getting your episode let alone HorribleSubs’s. And right now I get to decide between packing and discussing each point in depth with you. Unfortunately, I want to GTFO Arizona, but I’ll try to get back online in… 6 hours maybe. For now, this barebones thing is gonna basically be my response (I can elaborate when I get back on):

      I recommend groups for more than just the script. (I think you can see why, even with you possibly having a better script, I’d suggest Underwater.)
      Your script may be better in areas, but isn’t it possible the opposite is true in some cases as well? I don’t know. I didn’t compare all the scripts and I only have your lines to look over. I look at each release as its own, separate thing, so my impressions generally aren’t geared toward individual line comparisons. Does this mean I can’t possibly get into the nitty gritty details between each release? Unfortunately yes. Each Fansub Review was only intended to be part 1 of a 2-part review process, but we all know how well that turned out for me. I can’t really change it on the fly, which sucks. :/

      I also forgot to include a critique on the script for the lines where it went

      S: Remember the advice I gave you for life at Yomi North?
      MC: Yeah.
      S: Including [tip] number three?
      MC: Of course.
      S: Number three…
      MC: That was to always uphold the class rules, wasn’t it?

      … will have to add that in later. As for the added change? It’s just the [tip]. The first line there could probably be rephrased, but I wouldn’t mark you down for leaving it.

      Anyway, this is probably an incoherent mess of a reply, but I gotta jet. I’ll respond to you in full when I get back.

      Reply
      • I dunno man – “possibly” having a better script? These are all things you’d have called out for sure had I left them in, if you’re even noticing stuff like “About the girl you mentioned yesterday, Misaki Mei” and the omission of “tip” in the conversation you mentioned. I really don’t see how a few minor details like those things and the OP font choice outweigh the pretty solid examples I gave above.

        If you feel the opposite could also be true in places, I’ll welcome any such examples when you get back and have time to compare them. I think you probably would have noticed them while watching, though. I certainly noticed a lot while reading the original script.

        Reply
    • Okay, time for a line-by-line play… which I’d like to note again is going to be pretty much irrelevant to the overall score and the type of information I highlight in the review anyway. But we’re arguing for the sake of editing, which is always a valiant cause. Okay, here we go.

      1. Actually, what they have isn’t wrong. “The story that started it all” could be referring to the story the first classmate told about seeing Misaki after she died. So while your edit is more clear, it’s not exactly as black and white as you presented it.

      2. I don’t have a problem with stiff phrasing in this show. In fact, I think I prefer it. But you’re right — your edit was better.

      3. What I’m seeing here looks to be more a case of stiff vs. natural here. I’m not inclined to call this either way because it seems to be the editor who worked on the show’s interpretation as to which suits the mood better.

      4. I think you both derped here.

      >This is nothing that should affect school attendance.
      >You should be fine to continue attending school normally.
      “You should be fine to continue”? Really, man?

      Stiff: This shouldn’t affect your attendance record.
      Natural: You’ll be able to keep attending class like usual.

      I didn’t check to see the context behind these lines, but I think you can see where I’m going with these.

      5. I find the original line to convey that meaning just as well. Your version gets to the point more directly, true, but the original gets the point across just fine.

      6. Legitimate, smart edit.

      7. Sure. Nothing wrong with varying your word choice. But the only thing you changed was two No’s into “Oh God, no!” You’ve still got three No’s here. If you’re making the script your own, don’t go just halfway…

      No… Please, God! I don’t want to die! Help me!

      Of course, that’s just going off your “Japanese schoolgirl is probably a Christian” interpretation. And that’s probably wrong, so I’m gonna give the point to Underwater here for not forcing Christian bullshit on an anime. :)

      8. Point still stands. Your script is quite different in flavor from the other groups’. Neither of us disagree on that.

      9. My… brain. I suppose if I have to address this thing later I will, but I just want to fap myself to sleep right now.

      10. While that may not be an American idiom, it gets the point across just fine. Or would you like to argue that the meanings behind each are completely different? Your change is valid, but it does not invalidate the previous line.

      Overall, if you’re looking for me to say “Hey Xythar, you edited better than Underwater’s editor”, then perhaps I could grant you that in a certain sense. Your changes (at least what I’ve seen from your post) were certainly more ambitious (though their necessity is arguable).

      But I wouldn’t extend praises of your editing style to “And thus, you should get Commie’s release.” You stamped your logo twice over the show and created a retarded sponsor screen. The opening karaoke might as well have been in Russian for its ease of readability. Your script’s error management was worse too. And on a personal note, I think the stiffer script of Underwater suits the anime more.

      Can I appreciate your editing efforts while still lauding Underwater’s as the best release of the show I’ve seen? Yes, and that’s exactly what I’ll do.

      Reply
      • 1. They’ve spent the entire show talking about “the story of the class 3 of 26 years ago” (though I rephrased this to “the story of what happened 26 years ago to class 3” in episode 3), often multiple times per episode. I’m pretty sure they’re not referring to some kid deciding to go “hey, she’s not dead!” as a “story” here.

        3. Whatever. I also don’t like “I should be home by now” as a sentence, it doesn’t sound right. “I should be home right now” would be OK, as would “I should have gone home by now”, but the one they used doesn’t work for me and as I said, that whole line isn’t even needed.

        4. I actually like your version of this line, but I don’t think mine is wrong. If you read it out loud, it sounds fine.

        5. I disagree, I don’t think saying that a class has “special circumstances” makes sense.

        7. You don’t have to be Christian to use “God” as an exclamation. I’m not, and I do it all the time. Japanese schoolgirls don’t speak English either, so any “would people in Japan really say X” arguments are inherently flawed and lead only down the path to weeaboo subs.

        10. No it makes no sense in the context. How is not explaining something correctly like being caught in your own trap? What trap? Who did you set it for? It’s a completely literal translation that the CR team didn’t even try to edit, and if someone’s going to go to all the trouble of basing their release on CR’s subs I would have thought they could do a little bit better than “not edited at all” for lines like this.

        Yeah there’s like two easily ignorable (and softsubbed) logos, some sponsor thing that I didn’t even notice until you pointed it out, and you don’t like the OP font. So what? Do you watch fansubs for the karaoke, or do you watch the for the script and typesetting? I would think our script improvements over Underwater would have to be pretty damn insignificant for things like the OP kara font to even come into play, but here you are acting like they’re somehow important enough to outweigh all the changes I made for the better. You should really approach these reviews with a bit more perspective than that.

        The other thing I meant to mention is the grade. There were two other groups you gave an A- to despite having minor script errors and fucked up karaoke effects (far worse than whatever you might say about the font choice in ours). And yet, we get a B+. It’s like you dropped our grade an extra rank just for being Commie or something.

        Reply
        • Jesus Christ, again with this “u so biased against Commie” bullshit. This happens whenever I post anything that’s the slightest bit critical of anything you do. Let me get this out of the way first:

          Four script errors, three trolls (you know, the things where you make your release OBJECTIVELY WORSE because “fuck the leechers we r hilarity”), bad karaoke, shitty font, and lol typesetting.

          http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Commie-Another-04-8A298363.mkv_snapshot_03.19_2012.02.02_01.47.40.jpg
          http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Commie-Another-04-8A298363.mkv_snapshot_08.59_2012.02.02_02.25.19.jpg
          ^ Laziness or stupidity? I just can’t fucking tell anymore.

          I feel like every time I review something by you guys or talk with one of you I have to preface everything with “Hey Commie, I love you guys BUT” or you start to kneejerk like you have Parkinson’s.

          Hey Commie, I love you guys BUT maybe you should realize that acting like your trolling is unimportant is the equivalent of overdosing on krokodil and going to a beauty pageant, then telling the judges to ignore the skin peeling off your face because you’re “still beautiful on the inside.”
          Hey Commie, I love you guys BUT just because KKKrais did good typesetting on Nisemonogatari does not mean you get an “Our typesetting is always perfect” card.
          Hey Commie, I love you guys BUT even though you’re not using Arial Bold, there are fonts out there which don’t fuck up lowercase/capital letters.
          Hey Commie, I love you guys BUT error management is kind of a basic fucking thing you need to get right.

          Come the fuck on. You can’t possibly think this was an A-tier release. Maybe it’s time to realize that your group isn’t as perfect as you think it is.

          Reply
          • Dude, just listen to yourself. All it takes is the merest hint that you might be biased and you’re falling over yourself to prove my point by exaggerating every possible perceived flaw in our release well beyond the limits of reason.

            Like how one slightly-too-dark phone sign and a completely unimportant company name on a truck that not even Underwater bothered to typeset somehow became “lol typesetting” despite our typesetting being leagues better than either of the other two groups you gave an A to that same day.

            Or the one actual script error along with like three cases of subjective nitpicking. Or a few subtle easter eggs that don’t even intrude into the actual show. Or that the perfectly readable and pretty cool-looking font is somehow “shitty” because you don’t like the way the letter Q is drawn. This is the rationale of a person who is grasping for any reason he can come up with to mark us down.

            Whether conscious or unconscious, you are definitely biased against Commie (and gg as well, I’d wager) in your reviews. I won’t presume to understand why, but it’s certainly there. I joined Commie all of three weeks ago so don’t act like I’m saying this out of some misguided sense of loyalty either, it just really is that obvious.

            I don’t consider our group to be perfect. But judging from some of the other A-tier reviews you’ve given out, it’s pretty clear that you don’t have to be.

            Reply
          • Oh dorama, how I love thee!

            It’s always amusing when someone blows their top because they haven’t got the A grade they were expecting. At the end of the day, all these review pieces are subjective and to be honest, the grading is pretty arbitrary in the higher echelons.

            If you read Dark Sage’s summing up, he actually says it’s a “damn good release” and his only real issues are actually the attention to detail on karaoke and presentation rather than the script itself. Having only seen your comments and not watched the release, I’d have to say DS’s score is a little harsh, but then, I approach from a different side of the localisation scale.

            On FroZen’s release of Moshidora, we got a B and I edited that one. The same score as gg (who used “points” instead of “runs” in a baseball series :D). Did I complain? No. Were all the screenshot edits pointed out wrong? No, not at all. Aside from a few minor punctuation errors and one single/plural not matching up (bearing in mind, this anime was aired daily as opposed to weekly and we largely kept up with the airing – which was a feat for both groups), everything else was down to my British dialect. But what’s the point of complaining? It doesn’t get you anywhere. Unless Dark Sage gets something seriously wrong – which is rare – there’s no real point arguing it. Just accept the feedback, learn from it where possible, and move on.

            Of course, if DS gave me anything lower than a B, I’d kick up a stink :D

            Reply
          • Though, I have to admit, I did mistakenly use “airshot” instead of “whiff” (I blame my British upbringing) in Moshidora, before the gg heavies get all uppity about me calling them out there. We are all infallible, no matter how good we presume to be as editors.

            Reply
          • I’m not at all angry – don’t misinterpret my long posts as anything other than evidence of having way too much free time. At first I simply wished to provide an alternative argument to that given in the review, and following on from that I decided to question a bias that seemed apparent in the process. Really, the part about the grade was one tiny footnote in that massive novel I wrote up there. For the most part, I just enjoy arguing on the internet.

            Though I do find the massive levels of butthurt stemming from herkz’ typesetting critiques (and evidenced by at least one anonymous poster here) to be pretty amusing.

            Reply
          • Of course I care about being accused of bias in the final scores. While it may not seem like much to you, what you’re basically saying is my reviews can’t be trusted. I do everything I can to have a fair recommendation when all is said and done. I document everything so you can actually see what I’m talking about.

            Am I a bit more mean to some groups than others? Sure, but that doesn’t affect the end result. I’m not a fan of gg, but I’ve given them A-tier scores and recommended their B-tier subs over others’. If you’re honestly getting the sense that my reviews are based on a group’s name, I’m clearly not presenting myself well. I know how my internal metrics work and that’s certainly not how this shit actually operates. Perhaps the humor I inject into the reviews gives off the wrong impression, but that’s how I roll.

            What you’re purposely missing here is a bit frustrating. I didn’t review Underwater’s 04. I reviewed their 01. Whatever the fuck they did in their 04 isn’t going to affect your 04. Everything is silo’d by necessity. Would I have a better site if I reviewed every single one of a group’s releases? Sure. But you and I both know that isn’t possible. So I review a random episode and hope it’s reflective of what they’ll do in the future. I operate under the assumption that if a group finds an episode of theirs to be release-worthy, that’s the standard at which they can be judged for the entire show. Is it always a perfect indicator? No, but it’s the best I can do with the very limited time I have.

            Of course your typesetting is up for criticism when you set yourself up with “Do you watch fansubs for the karaoke, or do you watch the for the script and typesetting?” If half your argument is “our typesetting makes the release A-tier” then you’d better have A-tier typesetting to back it up. As for the truck, it was on the screen for a good five seconds. When something’s displayed prominently for a good long time, then it’s worthy of getting even a nominal amount of effort put into it.

            The font choice really matters because it’s the main font. Do I give a shit about random styles in the karaoke? No. But in the script, which is the heart of the release? Yes, it fucking matters. As for trolls as easter eggs… I mean, kudos for thinking that one up but… wow.

            Reply
          • “don’t act like I’m saying this out of some misguided sense of loyalty either, it just really is that obvious.”
            If that was the case, you would notice this “bias” before joining Commie. What a coincidence that you snapped just after getting ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE B+ grade for your first project in Commie. Are you even trying to sound believable?
            http://www.crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Commie-Another-04-8A298363.mkv_snapshot_02.37_2012.02.02_01.42.18.jpg <- It's completely unreadable. I can't figure out what the second word is even after one minute of looking at it. "cbadc"?

            Reply
          • Well, that’s what I get for thinking the latest version of Aegisub would actually render things correctly.

            “If that was the case, you would notice this “bias” before joining Commie. What a coincidence that you snapped just after getting ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE B+ grade for your first project in Commie.”
            “I can’t figure out what the second word is even after one minute of looking at it.”

            You have an interesting definition of snapped. Like I said, it was a short paragraph at the end of a long series of posts that D_S blew up at. And it’s “evade”, dude – I had no trouble figuring that out in the very first episode of the show I watched.

            And as for D_S himself:
            “I’m not a fan of gg, but I’ve given them A-tier scores”
            Well, one A-tier score but yeah.

            “Of course your typesetting is up for criticism when you set yourself up with “Do you watch fansubs for the karaoke, or do you watch the for the script and typesetting?” If half your argument is “our typesetting makes the release A-tier” then you’d better have A-tier typesetting to back it up.”

            I don’t know what you define as A-tier typesetting. However, considering that our typesetting was better than that of the other two groups that day you gave an A to, I was making an educated guess. You say that you’re laying out your process for all to see, but I really don’t follow it. Is B+ a bad grade? Hardly, but through it you have basically said that our release is the worst out of the four you’ve reviewed, whereas I firmly believe it is the best – so of course I’m going to argue for that.

            Reply
  2. I can’t wait for Another translation party. Maybe ask 8thSin for cooperation so that you can discuss all aspects of releases.

    Reply
  3. >Nobody says this. Try “June 6th, huh?”

    Maybe it’s just me, but when I see something like “June 6”, I automatically read it as “June sixth”, so I find the “th” there to be redundant.

    Reply
    • i’ve heard and do sometimes say, june six, its mostly done in a reflective, just making sure i got the date right kind of way, but it is said.

      Reply
    • So do I, when it comes to reading. But if the text didn’t mention any “th”, that would means an error, right? why pointing out something so obvious…

      Reply

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