Fansub Review: [rori] Natsuiro Kiseki (Episode 02)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Ooh, nice release.

Release format: MKV (340 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: Honorifics. Onee-chan used.

English style: American English.

Group website: http://rorisubs.com/

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/Uyf2HXYS

8thsin’s translation critique: N/A

Ji-hi’s screenshot comparisons: N/A

rori’s thoughts:

<Sutai> link reviews.rorisubs.com
<Sutai> thanks.
<Dark_Sage> Sutai, nothing shows up for that. Just the main page.
<Sutai> it’ll be there
<Sutai> someday
<Sutai> when i get everyone to review our release
<Sutai> editor will review his editing
<Sutai> i’ll review my tsing
<Sutai> kusion will review the qc
<Sutai> tl reviewing the tl
<Sutai> ( ¬‿¬)

Sounds legit to me. I’ll make sure to link it when it comes up.

 

Table of Contents

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Timing

Results

Visual Quality

Karaoke.

 

Opening. The font choices were fine. The only thing I’d question is (referring to the second image) keeping the text on the right the same as the text on the left. It would be easier to differentiate between the two if the colors were switched up, and it would also emphasize that they’re not all the same line.

Ending. It’s pretty simple. Whatever. My main issue is that it looks too similar to the OP.

 

Typesetting.

 

Script Quality

Karaoke.

 

The opening could have used some rephrasing. This line for example could be “The drumbeat of the future resounds in my ears.”

Another line of theirs was “I’ll never forget this moment as we cried together” which doesn’t make much sense. Did they mean “I’ll never forget the moment we cried together” or “I’ll never forget this moment as we cry together”?

“The moment when we understood is a precious non-stop road”

What the fucking fuck? I don’t understand. You guys clearly did not put the same effort in the OP as you did for the main script. The whole thing is just fucking stupid. These weren’t the only lines that were off, but I’m not gonna edit your entire OP for you.

“After school” seems like “forever”? What the fuck am I reading?

I THINK they’re trying to say “Our fun seemed like it would last forever” and yes I’m liberalizing that because it’s a fucking song and “Our after school adventures seemed like they would last forever” is way too long.

 

At least the ED as a whole wasn’t as… ungood as the OP.

Hold on. Apparently they did sound-matching here. I will look further into this.

 

Main Script.

8 minutes in and I haven’t found anything to really complain about. Are you guys a fansub group? Cuz you sure as hell aren’t acting like one!

So, whatever. Guess I’ll be on the prowl for good lines in the script now. Take this one, for example.

This is exactly the kind of argument (and phrasing!) one would expect from two middle schoolers. “Your ____ is stupid!” “No it isn’t!”

The language and flow here gets it spot-on.

The point of translation is not to pull out your dictionary and translate every word individually, then wrap them together with your limited knowledge of Japanese grammar. Fuck that shit. You need to convey the meaning and tone of lines into a completely different language, taking into account what would be natural in the new language. English-speaking kids (at least here in America) are definitely going to use this kind of language. “Shut up! I’ll kill you!” is not something that would be out of place in a conversation between kids.

This is precisely the kind of translation that makes me go into “happy mode”.

Yeah, it’s kinda like this

Yes, this IS a comma splice. But I don’t complain about these things anymore unless they get in the way of the subs. The reason why I picked out this line is because I thought it sounded cool.

I assume the standard TL here would be “Now’s not the time for that.” Thanks for not using the standard line. This conveys so much more than a generiTL would.

Man, fuck me. I’m tired of sucking up. This reminded me of a fabulous song that you should hear at least once in your life. (Also, I don’t think the comma needs to be there.)

It’s not all one sentence. Natsuki starts and Saki finishes.

“Well, isn’t that…”

“…obvious?”

This is a pretty well-known standard.

I don’t see the point in having the “But you know,” there. Additionally, it should be “If anything could come true,” to fit the tense of the second sentence.

Timing Review

Listing on Entire Changes: http://pastebin.com/YbpCDgU8

Key-frame Snap Errors (Preferential): 1 Error.

Scene Bleed: [1] [2] These bleeds end late; as in they should have ended at the “white area” instead of bleeding over to the characters faces in the next scene.

Total Errors: 3

Overall Grade: 4/5

*After some thinking about how timing reviews are done, I’m just going to comment on the glaring mistakes people make and review off that. I won’t be listing each and every key-frame snap I think is right cause it’s too preferential. I’ll still mention it  as an afterthought in the flow though.*

This was really well done, aside from the two bleeds above which I’m going to attribute to laziness. With the amount of fades going on in this show, some effort should have been made to at least add {fad} to the subs. It doesn’t take up a lot of time and quite frankly, makes everything look a lot nicer. In regards to the general flow of the subtitles and timing, I felt it was fairly adequately done. The only issue I had was some lines felt like they extended the lead-out much too long to link with a line. While they were “watchable” so to say, it just felt a little awkward at times having lines linger on for so long. There were a few times where I would’ve attached the line to the start of the frame to prevent flashing subs, but those are purely preferential and don’t really affect the show too much, aside from those like me with OCD.

Results.

Watchability: Definitely watchable.

Timing Grade: 4

Visual grade: B+

Script grade: A-

Overall grade (timing results not factored in): A-

This was a great release. rori’s pretty much the only group doing the show, but it looks like they know what they’re doing. Good work.

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