Translation Review: [FTW] Tamayura More Aggressive – 03

This post was written by kokujin-kun. He is not Dark_Sage.


This series didn’t get any better, BTW.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (248MB, 10-bit)

Wap Level: Full wap (E.g. “-tan” )

English style: American English.

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

 

External links.

Group website: http://fffansubs.org   http://utw.me

IRC channel: #[email protected]    #[email protected]

Fansub.co screenshot comparisons: http://fansub.co/tamayura-more-aggressive/ (still under construction, apparently)

Subbusu screenshot comparisons:

 

Translation

Karaoke.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_02.10_[2013.08.04_21.30.11]

OP. I’m going to argue that the singer is the one that is taking the candid photographs of a friend, so she should be talking about herself.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_24.03_[2013.08.04_23.15.53]

ED. It’s good. I especially like the way they broke up the English lyrics at the end.

 

Main Script.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_01.26_[2013.08.04_21.24.31]

Nanode. FTW only translates that verbal tic sparingly, which I believe is the best approach.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_01.36_[2013.08.04_23.18.55]

Timid girl says yoroshiku tanomou, which is obviously a very dated phrase that had the students in the audience wondering if she was recruiting for the Renaissance Fair. FTW decided to lay it on thick here, which creates too much of a “WTF?” effect for my tastes.  I would have just went with “beseech” or sumshit.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_03.20_[2013.08.04_21.34.16]

Only The Important Signs™ are typeset in this release (no, it’s not important, it’s just the clearance height).

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_03.40_[2013.08.04_21.35.43]

“It can’t be helped. Go with that. Seriously, this could be phrased better.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_05.16_[2013.08.04_21.43.14]

Finally! A group that can translate faito TT_TT.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_08.50_[2013.08.04_21.56.48]

I probably couldn’t come up with a better way to translate the Komachi/komasshakure nickname.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_10.09_[2013.08.04_22.04.14][FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_10.13_[2013.08.04_22.06.09]

I couldn’t agree more with What’s-Her-Face-With-The-Ponytail any more. Go with “stormed.”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_11.53_[2013.08.04_22.09.36]

FTW’s part of the Get Along Gang when it comes to the word nakayoshi. I’d probably go with “got to know each other” instead.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_12.34_[2013.08.04_22.11.25]

Lesser groups would go with “That is…” for kore wa.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_13.03_[2013.08.04_22.12.13][FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_13.05_[2013.08.04_22.12.29]

Just wanted to post those two screens for some random reason.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_14.04_[2013.08.04_22.15.13]

They mention “spring” in this line.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_14.24_[2013.08.04_22.20.43]

One, it’s “recruited” not “scout.” Two, hassouryoku would mean “inventiveness” not “intuitiveness.” And three, he said that she was invited onto the festival staff because of her inventiveness that brought about the We Fest or whatever the shit it was they did last year.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_14.32_[2013.08.04_22.40.07]

I really, really, hate the goddamn “junior/senior” translation for kouhai/senpai. Only mindless FOBs would think those words are in any way okay. Sure, I usually write “Senpai” in my script, but only because (1) I’m a weeb and (2) I consider that a hell of a lot more bearable than seeing the word “senior.” Think “younger colleague” and start from there.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_15.08_[2013.08.04_22.44.56]

I like this line since it reads smooth, is funny, and retains the words and chain of reasoning found in the original Japanese dialogue.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_15.35_[2013.08.04_22.45.39]

At first I thought they should go with “presidential” but this works to make Ponytail-chan sound quirky.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_18.54_[2013.08.04_22.55.35]

She actually said “I never even been a small-group leader,” but this line works just fine. Better even.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_19.04_[2013.08.04_22.56.01]

I didn’t hear anything in this line about “paperwork.”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_20.30_[2013.08.04_22.58.13]

More like “ended up winning that contest.”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_21.44_[2013.08.04_23.00.55]

Kinen shashin… it’s a pretty tricky phrase, but “memorial photo” will always go in the reject pile of possible ways to render it into English. I’d probably just go with “Let’s take a picture of this moment!”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.01_[2013.08.04_23.01.37]

Kusion. You’ve been warned about this. Minna does NOT mean “everyone.” I don’t say that. You don’t say that. Nobody I know says that. Here’s a temporary link to a video for anyone wondering what’s going on in this scene.

…You watched it? Good, then hopefully you realize that normal people say “Guys!” or “Girls!” in that situation.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.05_[2013.08.04_23.06.43]

I want to like this line since it’s a good way of rendering yokatta ne, but the line runs over 20 characters per second. Remove the “Right, Potte?” part and we’ll be all jake.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.10_[2013.08.04_23.10.05]

Funny thing is, she didn’t even say ganbaru in this line, yet they still went with that familiar stock phrase.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.16_[2013.08.04_23.10.56]

I heard, “Potte-tan.”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.27_[2013.08.04_23.12.07]

The way this line is phrased in the original Japanese is that it used to be a club where she was all alone but now it’s a club she can share with an actual member. So I probably would have gone with, “What was once just “my” Photography Club has turned into “our” Photography Club.”

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_22.42_[2013.08.04_23.13.17]

Since she said deai, I would have gone with “encounters” instead of “experiences.”

 

 

Other Observations

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_02.03_[2013.08.04_21.29.16]

Either they forgot a font, or they really did meant for the logo to be in Arial.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_06.56_[2013.08.04_21.47.42]

No fault on the part of FTW, just wondering who the fuck reads their text messages out loud.

[FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_13.41_[2013.08.04_22.14.02][FTW]_Tamayura_More_Aggressive_-_03_[720p][8B39DB4B].mkv_snapshot_16.05_[2013.08.04_22.46.55]

So when two experienced fansubban groups enter into a merger, apparently the knowledge base involving typesetting and layers gets lost in the process. When it comes to the dialogue script in this Age of Mocha, you will need to remember the Rule of Ten: always set the layer of the dialogue script to 10. Failing that, make sure the dialogue is all the way at the bottom of the script.

Final Grade: B+

To be quite honest, I *mostly* like this script, but there were too many derps and usage of stock phrases which kept it from getting a higher grade.

 

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