Japan has no taste: an in-depth study of the anime onee-san and otaku consumerist culture

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Having watched but four minutes of Spring 2014 anime Nanana’s Bizarre Adventure, the best girl was made perfectly clear to me. But what also was made clear is that Japanese culture still has a long way to go before it’s as good at taste as me.

Three-sentence introductory paragraph

I will demonstrate through two criteria – fanart and figure prevalence – that Japan has blatantly ignored the onee-san in favor of lesser archetypes, including the tsundere, the kuudere, and the mentally handicappedere. Additionally, I will prove that onee-sans are in fact the greatest females of all in the anime realm. This is sentence three.

 

 

Key features of any good anime onee-san:

DTF

Alcoholic

Fucking deal!
Deal!

Sexy bod

Dresses provocatively

Count me in~
Count me in~

Does not give a fuck

Eh, as long as she brushes her teeth...
Eh, as long as she brushes her teeth…

Basically, any female version of Dark_Sage qualifies for onee-san status. And that concludes my argument for why onee-sans are the best.

 

 

Discrimination in the animation realm (selected case studies limited to Spring 2014/Winter 2014 for purpose of reasonable scope)

The status of the onee-san in the following two categories will prove unequivocally that onee-sans are overlooked in series which even deign to include them (all information pulled 4/13/14):

  • Fanart (as determined by the number of images listed for the character on chan.sankakucomplex.com)
  • Figures (as determined by the number of figures listed for the character on myfigurecollection.net)

All characters for each anime are listed in order of most privileged anime girls to least privileged.

Also note that you should consider all the art links to be super NSFW. Then again, browsing any anime sites around normals isn’t exactly a recommended course of action in the first place.

 

Ryuugajou Nanana no Maizoukin

Ryuugajou Nanana no Maizoukin - Maporo Shiki
Maporo Shiki.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Ryuugajou Nanana Who cares 14 1
Ikkyu Tensai Who cares 4 1
Maporo Shiki Onee-san 2 0

 

Mikakunin de Shinkoukei

Yomomori Benio
Yomomori Benio.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Mitsumine Mashiro Who cares 184 0
Yomomori Kobeni Onee-san-in-law-in-name-only 183 0
Yomomori Benio Onee-san 57 0

 

Hitsugi no Chaika

Acura Akari. Also, she has no idea.
Acura Akari. Also, she has no idea.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Chaika Trabant Who cares 59 2
Acura Akari Onee-san 19 0

 

Witch Craft Works

Menowa Mei.
Menowa Mei.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Kagari Ayaka Who cares 173 3
Kuraishi Tanpopo Who cares 83 0
Katsura Kotetsu Who cares 22 0
Takamiya Kasumi Who cares 18 0
Utsugi Kanna Who cares 17 0
Menowa Mei Onee-san 15 0

 

Bokura wa Minna Kawaisou

Nishikino Mayumi. Also I'm pretty sure the MC has had the internet since puberty, so good luck with that.
Nishikino Mayumi. Also I’m pretty sure MC-kun has had the internet since puberty, so good luck with that.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Ritsu Kawai Who cares 9 0
Nishikino Mayumi Onee-san 5 0

 

Sekai Seifuku – Bouryaku no Zvezda

Shikabane Itsuka.
Shikabane Itsuka.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Hoshimiya Kate Who cares 498 3
Natasha Who cares 177 4 (if we include the kurukurus)
Shikabane Itsuka Onee-san 156 2

 

No-Rin

Kanegami Torao.
Kanegami Torao.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Nakazawa Minori Who cares 95 1
Kinoshita Ringo Who cares 63 0
Kanegami Torao Onee-san 7 0

 

Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! Ren

Takanashi Tooka on the right.
Takanashi Tooka on the right.
Character Character Status # of art listings # of figure listings
Takanashi Rikka Who cares 2345 12
Nibutani Shinka Who cares 924 3
Dekomori Sanae Who cares 752 4
Tsuyuri Kumin Who cares 412 2
Shichimiya Satone Who cares 102 0, currently. But taking the future into consideration, there are potentially thousands.
Takanashi Tooka Onee-san 163 0

 

Blatant fucking snubbery, all around. Japan, why? ;_;

 

 

Three-sentence conclusionary paragraph

With both of my hypotheses proven (that onee-sans are underrated and that onee-sans are the best), it is clear that Japan has some soul searching to do. Hopefully they can find said soul soon enough to be counted as a civilized nation. But it looks like until then, we’ll just have to bide the shit tide. This is sentence four.

34 thoughts on “Japan has no taste: an in-depth study of the anime onee-san and otaku consumerist culture”

  1. Well said. I never really noticed, maybe that’s why I’m bored with anime recently, not enough good female mc with onee-san quality. not necessarily onee-sans though.

    Reply
    • btw, Hoshimiya Kate can also be onee-san in certain times, especially in the end where she comforted Itsuka when someone died before.

      Reply
  2. “Nishikino Mayumi. Also I’m pretty sure MC-kun has had the internet since puberty, so good luck with that.”

    I don’t know, I think some hands on experience with her would do him some good.

    The only character I disagree with is Benio, not because she is unfit but because she is fucking nuts.

    Reply
  3. By your logic, Asuka is “who cares,” and there should be more love for Misato and Ritsuko. Not that I’m opposed to more Captain Katsuragi love.

    Reply
  4. Japanese males are terrified of non-virgin women. Can’t risk getting the spiritual AIDS from going where others have gone before!

    Reply
  5. Lrss in depth and more cherry picking. In anime with this stereotype, the story itself is often derivative and not meant to be taken seriously.

    Kinda like this blog post.

    Reply

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