Video Game Review: Final Dusk (PC)

Video Game Review: Final Dusk (PC)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Sorry about the recent lack of content, reader-tachi-kuns. Hopefully I can make it up to you with this thorough review of a game I spent $4.25 and 30 minutes on.

Sometimes I hate myself.
Sometimes even I make bad decisions.

Game: Some piece of shit. I dunno, read the title or look at the above image

Review rig: i7-5820k, 16GB Ramz, GTX 970, three USB 2.0 ports

MSRP: $4.99, but I got it for a 15% discount, bitches! #thugdeals

 

There comes a point in every human’s life when they’ve drunk enough liver killer to feel so bad about not finishing Dance in the Vampire Bund that they desperately search the Steam store for any possible remedy for the guilt.

Mine was an hour ago.

And I still feel guilty for some reason.
And I still feel guilty for some reason.

 

 

Start

Setting up the game, I have to admit my hopes were raised a bit high, as I was only given one option for quality.

Final_Dusk_Settings

Making the statement that your game cannot look anything other than fantastic takes a lot of cojones (or, in Japanese, mochi), and I was impressed enough by the dev’s faith in their product to hit the Play button.

I wish I wasn't so easily swayed.
I wish I wasn’t so easily swayed.

 

 

Story

Final Dusk Starting Scene

I’ll spare you the 10 whole screens that set the story up and give it to you straight.

The king and queen of vampireland invite some Harry Potter chick to their vampire ball and end up pissing her off to the point that she turns everyone into stone.

Equal Taxes Vita Mortis Imperio

You play as their garlic-loving daughter who sets out to rescue them from their curse by sacrificing the game player’s time on the altar of sub-mediocrity.

Mina plz
Please, no.

I know I made the game sound interesting, but it’s totally not.

 

 

Gameplay

The game sets you up with a menu that has no explanation, leading you to click around in hopes of figuring out what you’re supposed to do.

Final Dusk Storybook
The purple arrow skips levels, and the red bookmarky thing starts them. Intuitive, no?

Unfortunately, once you manage to decode how to actually start the game, you’re in for the worst part — actually playing the damn thing.

At first, Final Dusk seems reasonable. You basically have to use objects in each level to cover up the light sources so that Mina can acquire garlic and reach the end of the level.

Final Dusk Victorly

But by the fifth level or so, you come to the sinking realization that every level is a carbon-copy of the last one, only more tedious and soul-crushing to artificially drag the completion time out.

Look at all this fucking shit. And yes, it's a different level from that last image.
Look at all this fucking shit. And yes, it’s a different level from that last image.

Eventually, your main goal becomes getting enough garlic that you can unlock the next dungeon and beat the game with only a few hours of your life lost.

Only six more! ...right?
Only six more! …right?

So as you come across tedious “feature” after “feature”…

Don't give Final Dusk to someone suicidal
Do you even know what the fuck’s going on here? This is like only 20 minutes in.

…you come to the grim realization that this game doesn’t intend to let you leave with your sanity intact.

Wait, I got all 30 garlic cloves. Why is the next section still blanked out?
Wait, I got all 30 garlic cloves. Why is the next section still blanked out?
Oh wait... God, no... I have to play all these fucking levels?
Oh wait… God, no… I have to play all these fucking levels?

The best solution, then, is one I’m sure you’ve already puzzled out.

Final Dusk - Winning Solution 1 Final Dusk - Winning Solution 2

Cut all ties and never look back.

 

 

Verdict

This is a bad anime game. If you end up buying it, reverse time and don’t.

Don't let my shame be your own.
Don’t let my shame be your own.

20 thoughts on “Video Game Review: Final Dusk (PC)”

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  1. Saw this game and I was actually hovering over the purchase button, but then I thought, “I should wait for a sagacious review to pop up somewhere since I lent my flux drive to Stewie and should probably not make purchases I’ll likely regret in 5 minutes”.
    Phew! Dodged an arrow in the knee right there!
    #FalseStory

    But if anyone’s looking for an anime-esque game, I suggest “War of the Human Tanks”. Great 2D RTS game with 4 different endings.

    In other news GoG’s Fall sale is amazing for freeloaders. I bought The Witcher for $1.50 and got The Witcher 2 for free during the event. I’m now set for Q1-2 2015. Q3-4 will most likely be occupied by The Witcher 3.

  2. > I was impressed enough by the dev’s faith in their product to hit the Play button.
    It’s very clearly the Play! button. Read a little more carefully. Dance in the Vampire Bund is good, even if you don’t like 500-year-old children being slathered in oil.

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