State of the Crymore v2

Article — By on April 11, 2015 11:37 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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How do I sticky posts again? This is important.


I took down my fansub reviews for good

They’re the worst posts I’ve ever made and I’ve never liked them or how they garnered the attention of a lot of unsavory types of people who make me very uncomfortable and they’re just plain gross and offensive most of all.

I made the posts when I was 53 and ignorant, they were meant to satirize a horrible community that made unfunny memes at the time and were not meant to become kind of shitty internet anti-fansubber anthem at all, but people took them that way and that’s not what I stand for or condone.

I'm important! My opinions matter!

I’m so fucking important! My opinions matter more than my readers’!

I wish I hadn’t kept the posts up for so long because of peer pressure, and I’m really sorry for making them in the first place.

I’ve grown and realized they were really gross posts to make, parody voice or not, and I hate that they have enforced a certain mentality in some of my fans, that I must think “proper” English is cute or acceptable in any way, which in turn reinforces their own gross beliefs about English or makes people think Anglo-fascism’s OK because I think it’s OK.

It doesn’t matter if they’re “just subtitles”, they’re unique expressions of English and that’s that, I’m not going to argue about it.

I'm so world triggered right now.

I’m so world triggered right now.

Grammar naziism is not something to make light of, and I do not approve of any of my fans proclaiming themselves as literates or acting like this is some cutesy term that isn’t rooted in disgusting racist crap.

I’ve wanted to take my posts down for years, and I’m so glad I finally did it because they’re not something I want to be associated with anymore.

They make people uncomfortable and they’re hurtful, and give people the impression that I’m OK with that kind of stuff when I’m not.



I have over 15 million hits on Crymore now, and a lot of people look up to me, most of them are as young and impressionable as I was when I uploaded my first awful review, so I absolutely cannot set a bad example for all of them.

If anyone has a problem with me taking the posts down, feel free to unsubscribe as I already have your hits.

I’m so happy that I finally got rid of that trash.

Everyone's counting on me

I did it! All by myself even!


On an unrelated note, please like my selfies on every social media outlet I can find to put them on, and take a look at my Patreon page where you can pay me to write in the exact same voice as I did before, because I don’t have enough range or confidence to quit this gimmick even though I so obviously hate it and everyone who made me the internet e-tier celebrity I am today.

Thanks <3

Thanks <3

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Solaristics says:

>I took down my fansub reviews for good


Abunja says:

Knowing D_S, we should not take this seriously.



ilducesaint says:

well i dont know if just me, but i really liked your fansub reviews, it make me thing from who to watch that anime, but anyway good work all the way through

Solaristics says:

You missed the sarcasm. Also, the tag: “If I ever get this bad I will seriously snort anthrax”

ilducesaint says:

well i missed everything

LotusGG says:

I still miss the reviews

Laz says:

For someone who is only liked because they can manage a loli voice, Nyanners is a fucking idiot.

blargnobia says:

>article contains layers upon layers of sarcasm for reasons that elude me

uh, kek?

LotusGG says:

No reviews = change domain to

shcboomer says:

Did no one else look at the Tumblr link in the tags section?

“It’s the worst video I’ve ever made and I’ve never liked it or how it garnered the attention of a lot of unsavory types of people who make me very uncomfortable, and it’s just plain gross and offensive most of all.”

Dark_Sage says:

It’s not like my writing is altogether subtle either.

Hairy says:

Nyanners is still a thing?

Dark_Sage says:


jimmy says:


Mehrwerfer says:

> no reviews
bye bye.

Numero_6 says:

Seems legit

QQwerty says:

inb4 D_S uses everyone taking this seriously as an excuse to actually not do any reviews.

CorrectMorning says:

So far “I don’t feel like doing shit right now” seems to have sufficed as an excuse :D

rarely_upset says:

since when has he needed an excuse for that

big boobed anime futanari says:

Fuck nyanners

Anon says:

My two cents: ayy lmao.

Dark_Sage says:

Well, Commie took it seriously.

Abunja says:

herkz be like, “N-not that I care, baka.”

Suzu says:

“Nothing of value was lost, even though me and my buddies constantly check it everyday.”

Welp says:

Hot’n Cool indeed.

NakkiNyan says:

Aww, I was hoping you were going to do that comparison/grammarNazi thing I mentioned a while back. Changing to that instead of continuing would have been best.

Dark_Sage says:

That’s still on the table.

NakkiNyan says:

Good, I just like seeing the posts but in a more managable/easy-to-compare way.

Dark_Sage says:

For sure, it was a great suggestion so thanks again. When I post the actual update post, I’ll go into more details around what I’m going to be aiming for this season.

moron says:

how many fucking times are you going to make this post

Dark_Sage says:

I dunno, how many times will you read it?

KoolKidsK says:

I’ll read it until I can’t fap to it anymore

sangofe says:

Only reason I came to this site was to read your reviews.

ayy nawn E moos says:

I like this site.

PP says:

Just don’t expect the site to love you back.

Wakey says:

This supposed to be a parody?

I honestly have no idea what this site is about anymore

Dark_Sage says:

Naruto fanfics, primarily.

Ryuu says:

I thought it was about a lazy, MonHun addicted lardass feeding his ego while bashing honest people, like the staff of Hadena or Asuka-Subs, who work in their free time for the sake of the community.

anony says:

Hadena and Asuka-subs should combine their forces and call themselves Commie.

Oh wait.

anonman says:

I can’t remember the hentai manga it appeared.

NakkiNyan says:

The name is “light of tsukimi manor”.

anonman says:

Thanks ;D

Guydudebro says:

Enjoy that kind of nonsense more than your reviews though.

Where are the selfies.

Also your new avatar looks androgynous and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Debz says:

ahh, too bad. actually, i enjoy your review, lol
not only as guide for anime i wanna see, but also your sarcasm, i find that amusing. ahaha. sorry.
well, thanks again for your hard work^^

Dark_Sage says:

I’m not quitting though. You guys, please. These comments are breaking my heart.

Abunja says:

Well, its your fault. Some of them take it seriously.

Ryuu says:

Don’t give up, Broken_Sage!
Although we can understand that you are mortified about the quality of your reviews and that this makes you want to stop doing them (was that even English? Blame it on me being ESL), we still encourage you to continue!

Funny how that Debz guy sees the sarcasm in the reviews, but not in this post.

pi says:

This is random, but can you make a list with the top 10 best and worst fansubs? ^^

Anon says:

Ez pz m8.

Top 10:

1) HorribleSubs
The best sub group around, they sub seemingly every show, release the fastest, and have 3 choices of quality just in case you’re stuck in 1999 and your computer looks like this. Other groups like to plagarize their script for some reason, and it’s because they are the best obviously.

2) UTW
/a/ told me they’re the sugoiest because Raze-san ganbarres his best and is subarashi translator. Plus they don’t release quickly, which means that they’re all trying they’re best to make sure us pleb- important viewers get the best possible experience, and they’re definitely putting the $3.8k to good use in BD releases.

3) Whine-subs
I was told to put them on the list or have my cartel privileges revoked. Plus Darku Seiji is my fansubfu.

4) DeadFish
Just like HorribleSubs, they sub every show AND release almost as fast to make sure that us viewers have a plethora of options to pick from. They’re very dedicated even though they don’t get many downloads, ganbarre DeadFish!

5) Commie
“More like Commeme”, a frequently used slogan to describe this revolutionary sub group. They went from slow translation and release to creating the new subset of fansubbing called “fakesubbing”, where they take the script from evil companies like CrunchyRoll and edit them, making sure to put in the swankiest memes and slang around to make sure us sociable weebs can understand the slick references. Would never ask for money and do it for the fans.

6) gg
gg stands for ‘good guys’, and they were the ‘original Commie’; see above.

6) Vivid
New notCommie; see above.

8-10) >implying any other group matters

Bottom 10:

1) CrunchyRoll/Funimation/etc
Evil money grubbing corporations that want to make us pay, PAY for people to actually translate. Known for false flagging /a/ and the like into supporting them. Liked by Gaia, reddit, and MAL; stay away.

2) Underwater

3) CoalGirls
Slow, bloated release that take years to see the light of day. 1.2GB average file size per each 720p episode, and I was banned from their site for asking innocent questions like “RELEASE FUCKING WHEN?” and “WHY THE FUCK DOESN’T THIS HAVE ALL 4 SUB GROUPS’S SCIPTS INSTEAD OF 1?”.

4) FFF
‘Fat Furry Fuckers’ don’t actually care about subbing, they do it because they want their e-penis bigger. Known for raiding MAL to upvote their release and collude with other groups to astroturf against honest groups like Commie, starting Anon wars on /a/ trying to discredit Commie, and often reverse-trolling.

5) WhyNot/DDY/caffine/Anime-Koi

6-10) There are other sub groups?

Period says:

Perfect. I’ve never seen a better top 10 list in my life, not even on BuzzFeed… and it’s pretty hard to beat BuzzFeed.

Zop says:

I can’t seem to find the Patreon page…

Dark_Sage says:

Take a right at our flattr and you’ll find it right next to our gratipay.

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