Anime Revolution 2015: Day 1 (Friday)

Article, Conventions — By on August 16, 2015 8:06 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive puddi for tricking me into going to AniRevo.

Crew (just assume we were together most of the time):

  • puddi
  • Rekyu
  • shcboomer
  • lunr

With guest appearances by:

  • roux
  • Despair
  • Regret



12:00 Food and stuff

After talking with the Canucks in our group (lunr and boomer), we decided to head on over to a poutinerie, to experience the finest cuisine Canada had to offer.

I ordered the okonomiyaki poutine cuz I remember masturbating to this picture... which in hindsight was a bad idea.

I went with the okonomiyaki poutine, which I unfortunately could not fap to as much as I did to this picture.

We also scoped the con out, but talking about that is as boring as scoping it out was, so let’s move on.


2:00 Voice Actor Idol

Kohana is broken in all the right ways. <3

I’d kill for Kohana. <3

I figured this was gonna be another Anime Idol-type contest where everybody sang and danced and shit.


I may or may not have been hoping for a real-life Rin.

Instead, it consisted of people poorly reciting lines off dull scripts, all in a vain attempt at relating to human emotions they’d only ever learned about from textbooks. (Yeah, maybe I should have actually read the panel title).

If you hate your ears, click the play button for a true panel experience:

The judges told this guy his performance was “really great” and praised his courage for playing two characters at once. I, in turn, praise those judges’ courage for signing up to be in charge of a voice acting contest despite being irreparably damaged in all the wrong places.


3:30 Root W

The boys headed out to Japanese for Beginners, but I wasn’t about to waste my time learning something as irrelevant to my interests as Japanese, so I set off on a walkcon adventure.

Spirits were definitely higher than they should have been.

Spirits were definitely higher than they should have been.


3:40 Root W, cont.

Walkcon looked off to a bright start with a rare Unbreakable Machine-Doll cosplay. Well, until I talked to the chick. Convo went pretty much like this:

Me-sama: Whoa, Unbreakable Machine-Doll cosplay?

Her: Yes.

Me-sama-dono-senpai: Could I grab a picture?

Her: No.


Something isn't right here...

Me? Rejected? Something isn’t right here…

Look girl, I understand your hesitation to be photographed by someone as oppressively beautiful as me, but the quality of that $100 Chinese knock-off you grabbed from the first eBay posting you saw was actually good enough to call attention away from the fact you’d need to keep your mouth shut to remain even remotely photogenic, so you really didn’t have to hesitate like that.

Just think, I'm not even salty yet.

All right, I think that’s enough salt for one sentence. Moving on~

After that, I never asked for another cosplay pic at the con. Though it was more because the cosplays were boring than because I was bitter as fuck. …Probably.


4:00 Japanese for Beginners

Figuring walkcon was a lost cause, I traipsed on over to this panel.

Anime Guide to Hiragana

I wish it was just this image projected on a screen.

There, I found myself being lectured at by someone whose only qualifications were “I took three years of Japanese in high school” as they used notes they wrote when they were 14. Fucking hell, I didn’t drop out of Intro Japanese in college to deal with this shit again. AniRevo, plz.

Rekyu had the right idea by sleeping on me for the entire panel.


4:50 AniRevo Talent Contest

Headed in early for the Talent Contest (#PressPrivilege) and met up with Twitter-pal roux for a bit before she had to bounce to perform background ensemble in the opening act.

Five minutes past five, the opening act started, and I can’t hate on the background vocals, but the wigger trash performing… hoo boy. Here’s the music video for the song that… barely qualifies as one.

If you got more than one minute in, you beat me. Our crew was dying when we saw this performed live, especially cuz the poor kid couldn’t even hit any of his “notes”. Friendly advice for any wannabe rappers: your voice isn’t supposed to crack when you say “girl”.


We saw a couple of acts after the intro that were okay, and some that weren’t. Have a poorly recorded video of one of the good ones:

In a unscriptable twist of fate, that Unbreakable Machine-Chick I talked about before came on the stage to compete in the contest. So instead of getting the one pic I had asked for, I acquired a couple thousand frames of sweet victory.

And in another twist of fate, I actually liked her performance, so as the ultimate BM, I’m not even gonna post her fucking video. Mark this down: Dark_Sage always fucking wins.


6:00 Magic the Gathering

Headed on over to a Magic the Gathering draft tourney just to kill time.


It was like this, except there were no girls ofc.

I could write an entire article about the shenanigans that occurred here, but fuck that normalfag-nerd trash. Just know that puddi styled all over a bunch of kids, and likely made one quit the game forever (not even exaggerating there, puddi is a relentless beast for whom empathy is a foreign concept… and that’s why we love him).


9:00  Game room


It was pretty hopping, as you can see. Don’t know why we didn’t stay the whole night.


10:00 Pinkies up, drinks down

Since the con was dull, we taxi’d back to our hotel for a couple drinks (whiskey coke and then two shots of Bulleit each).


You know how we do.

On our taxi ride back (the official con hotel is seriously a 15-minute walk from the actual con and we were not having that), we realized this was a terrible mistake, as it was not nearly enough to prepare us for how the con had degraded in our absence.

Here’s the status of walkcon once we returned:

That AniRevo Walkcon Though

And here’s the night’s main draw, the rave:

What a fucking party.


10:30 “Welp, good luck minna-sans.”

I don't know what she's saying, but I assume it's relevant.

I don’t know what she’s saying, but I assume it’s 100% relevant.

Realizing not even we could save Anime Revolution, the crew and I abandoned the poor souls and headed back to our hotel to play Smash. I don’t know what the congoers did when we left, but I can’t imagine they made it out with their sanity intact.


11:00 FalconXFalcon’d

There’s only so much Smash a Sage can handle, so I ditched back to my room, and apparently locked puddi out for three hours.



I guess I was unconsciously getting him back for tricking me into blowing a grand on this fucking con. And with unconscious foresight too, cuz the con only got worse from there.



The other days:

Days -1/0 – Wednesday/Thursday: Coming… sometime?

Days 2/3 – Saturday/Sunday: Same. Though I don’t have anything planned tonight, so I’ll probably put some time into these if I don’t die of depression first.

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Ibi says:

>Me? Rejected? Something isn’t right here…

Should have told her that you are THE Dark_Sage, would’ve changed her mind real quick.

Period says:

and then miss out a chance to get revenge? he knows better

Dark_Sage says:

Exactly. Fate’s always had my back, so if something sub-optimal happens, I know I’m due for something excellent. And after how bad AniRevo as a whole was, I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me.

roux says:

those are some CLASSY drinks

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