Vidya Review: Shan Gui

Article, Video Games — By on January 5, 2015 2:35 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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As video games week continues, we find our intrepid hero, Dark_Sage, wishing for the sweet release of death. But will the whiskey give it to him, or only exacerbate the situation by dulling his already poor decision-making skills? Find out this time on “The Latter”.


Why even?

Question Markador

Shan Gui’s a VN best played when Funimation still hasn’t released the first episode of Absolute Duo, even though it’s been 20 hours since it was supposed to be simulcasted. Luckily, it’s the kinda game that only takes 30 minutes to play, so when you finish it, Funimation will have …still not released Absolute Duo. Fuck!



Technical problems

“How hard could it be to make a VN?” asked Shan Gui’s developers before booting up Visual Basic.

Apparently, very.

Apparently, very.


For any line with more than one layer, the words will be slightly cut off until the next layer fills in.

Shan Gui - Cutoff 01 Shan Gui - Cutoff 02


And the audio breaks… often.

Audio 1:

[mp3t track="" play="Start audio" stop="Pause this shit" volslider="y"]

Audio 2:

[mp3t track="" play="Start audio" stop="Pause this shit" volslider="y"]

Shan Gui - Audio Issues

Audacity is free. Why would you not run QC on this shit before you release?




This is MC-chan. All’s I know about her is she has massive tits and speaks in some Russian form of Chinese.

Shan Gui - Main Character

This isn’t Russian or Chinese, but it does show off her huge rack.

When she travels back to her homeland — a random forest in China — she becomes friends with a girl who likes to foreshadow things.

Shan Gui - Other Character

Also, she sometimes looks like ET.

Shan Gui - Home Phone


This is Foreshadow-chan. She likes to tick fetish checkboxes so otaku will buy the game and rate it highly on Steam.

Shan Gui - He Jia Fox Shan Gui - He Jia Bathroom Shan Gui - He Jia - Popsicle 01 Shan Gui - He Jia - Popsicle 02

Well, it worked. So good on them for exploiting the mentally handicapped.

Well, it worked. So good on them for exploiting the mentally handicapped.


Also, they’re conveniently lesbians, which is like… really hot.

Shan Gui - Yuri 01 Shan Gui - Yuri 02 Shan Gui - Yuri 03 Shan Gui - Yuri 04

Don’t judge me! My dick is totally an LBGTQ ally!



Touching Interactions

Here’s the voice acting:

Yeah, the game prompts you to click on links to Wikipedia occasionally. Nothing more immersive than that.

But if that wasn’t rousing enough, have a charming example of the kind of conversations you’ll encounter in Shan Gui:

Shan Gui - Fox 01 Shan Gui - Fox 02

What, that didn’t sate your thirst for quality character interaction? Fine, have one more conversation:

Shan Gui - Sandwich 01 Shan Gui - Sandwich 02 Shan Gui - Sandwich 03 Shan Gui - Sandwich 04

Goddamn, I love the Chinese.





This is a bad anime game.

With the $5 price tag and a 30-minute completion time, I feel like I should go to a rape counselor.

As a means of therapy, let me spoil the fucking ending.


Shan Gui - Ending 01 Shan Gui - Ending 02

The girl you met on your journey was a mountain god. And apparently she’s a purple fox, despite being mostly orange in the first scene. What closure.

With that, it’s game end — “Thanks for the five bucks!”

Fuck Shan Gui. With a rusty knife. …twice.

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LotusGG says:

>Fuck Shan Gui. With a rusty knife. …twice.

Dark_Sage says:

I used a period, so you know I’m serious.

LotusGG says:

Can’t be helped, then.

QQwerty says:

Oh. It’s this game.

Dium says:

>willingly watching funi

Dark_Sage says:

It’s not so much that I want to watch Funi’s release, as I want to watch a release. Nobody’s going to work on it till Funi does, so we’re all pretty much stuck till Funi puts out.

Gary says:

Anime-Koi… oh wait.
Same lvl.

Switches says:

The size of the main character’s breasts are not consistent…

jimmy says:

The music was at least nice, I thought.

PP says:

Those eyes though, can’t stop laughing.

LotusGG says:

Special eyes!

Tired says:

Steam is clearly ruining anime. Wtf even lets this on the platform and why aren’t they fired yet?

bruhnon says:

Heh, Of chinese parents myself, and was planning to play this for the lulz to polish my mandarin chinese a bit.
However, seeing this review…
Fuck mandarin chinese and these devs, I’d rather watch old kungfu movies and learn cantonese… somehow, I find mandarin chinese even more grating then them japanese squealy grills (fuk u kugimiya).

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