I doubt there’s a maternity ward around that has more babies than this scene. Jesus fucking Christ, I feel sorry for any sociologist who picks fansubbers for their thesis.
In case you missed the drama over the past few days, a bunch of “fansubbers” got super mad that I would dare call them out for being lazy little shits. Apparently they’d never been to Crymore before, so this was quite a bit of culture shock to them.
The issue they had revolved around me disqualifying a number of releases that were not significantly different from the official subs that they were modified from.
To me, it makes sense: no point in reviewing what is essentially the same release over and over again, especially since my primary focus as a reviewer is on the dialogue. But to them it was blatant snubbery! Who am I to judge frontline fansubbers like them? They’re the ones remaining relevant by releasing unchanged fansub scripts!
Their argument goes something like, “We fixed a single typo in a Crunchyroll script! That makes us objectively better than Crunchyroll, hence we deserve an A!”
It’s a heaping load of self-apologetics. But you know what, fine. I will give them that fixing one typo in a script and releasing it makes the release better than the typo’d one. They are absolutely correct, and I was wrong to even so much as almost imply anything to the contrary.
So here’s what I’m gonna do: Starting next season “fakesub reviews” will turn into “fakesub comparisons” (title pending). What I’ll be doing with those releases is posting comparisons to the original Crunchyroll/Funimation scripts when the release’ changes are not sufficient enough to warrant reviews on their own. That means typesetting, QCing, and karaoke are all in-scope.
And you know what, I’ll even give you guys grades now.
That’s right, your very own fucking score you can pin on your mother’s refrigerator to show her how your life wasn’t a complete waste after all.
Now I would like to note something for all the Commies and Anime-Kois out there that are jizzing their pants in excitement: It’s not me you dumbasses should be trying to convince; it’s the entire anime fandom that fucking left you because you don’t create content worth waiting for.
So my scoring methodology is going to be a bit different from my normal reviews. You’re going to be judged based on whether or not your release is worth waiting for. So if you’re gonna be lazy, I do encourage you to be quick about it. Because I assure you, the clock is not on your side.
I’d implement this new standard this season, but I have the real reviews to get to before I stall out.
What’s not going to be changing:
- I will still call these releases fakesubs.
- I will still call the garbage responsible for these releases fakesubbers.
- I will still only half-jokingly wish death upon anyone involved with this blight upon the scene.
- Naruto will remain the greatest anime of the all time ever.
So there we fucking go. Everyone wins, and life is good again. Roll Eva clap.
Now, can I finally go watch Captain America without having to worry about some dumbfuck shooting up a school because I dared imply they weren’t the greatest thing to happen to fansubbing since me?