Sorry, FFF. I was doing your review but then I saw some screens of Commie’s release on subcompare, couldn’t stop laughing, and decided I had to review theirs first.
Table of Contents
Release format: MKV (443 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/xaMvsTfe
Speed: Quick (<48 hours)
Note: The “ribbit” and “barf” typesets look like shit on some media player set-ups and fine on others. I dunno exactly why, but I heard something about lav filters. YMMV on what you get on your system (it was fucked up for me and I’m using the latest CCCP).
Group website: http://commiesubs.com/
IRC channel: [email protected]
SubCompare screenshot comparisons: http:[email protected]/
Opening. Thanks, Commie. My eyes were a bit dry before but now that they’re fucking bleeding that’s no longer an issue.
Sorta-insert, sorta-ED. Anyway, no group subbed this because it was pretty hard to hear and the main focus was on the dialogue.
This got tl;dr fast. I didn’t expect Commie to typeset nearly everything. So here, have the signs that I didn’t comment on in this spoiler.
It would have been nice to know what the item was before she opened the box.
Nothing wrong with a swastika.
In the gg review, koku pointed out that this is likely supposed to read “dead end” to reflect her “dead-end life”. I’m inclined to agree.
This is all so fucking weird. “Sasami’s Stumble Anniversary”? Really?
First off, shit looks like “Luwy Duwy”. Secondly, it’s “lovey-dovey”. Thirdly next off, it’s not clear enough that “Dynamite Anniversary” is a separate thought from “I Luvvy Duvvy My Brother”.
When read with the previous lines in the release in mind, it comes across as “Sasami’s ‘I luvvy duvvy my brother dynamite’ anniversary”. Either use quotes to close off the sections from each other or use an em-/en-dash to do it.
These are the errors I was talking about earlier. I don’t know if you can see the issue with my shitty jpeg screenshots, but click on the image for a bigger size and I think you’ll see what’s wrong.
>TLing eroge as “porn games”
Commie, you’re truly the best. (Hint: the preferred localization is “adult games” because it doesn’t sound so fucking out of place.)
Same issue as before. I do like how the “Ribbit”s shake around the screen, though.
(As an FYI, a lot of these things that don’t seem like huge issues are either only contributing very little to what comes up in the final grade or not at all.)
Since I already uploaded it, I should mention that this should be “Action-packed”. gg had that mistake too but I didn’t really figure it was important enough to dedicate a full screenshot to.
Y-You mean “blue”?
Top-tier styling, herkz.
Thank you, Commie. Fuck, I thought this song was just stupid shit that couldn’t be TL’d, but no, it was just FFF and gg that couldn’t handle translating it.
God’s hand paints the seasons
that pass my sight
Farther than the starry sky my wishes go
while I rock in my sleep
When I cup my ears and walk through the crowds
my sense of self disappears
I’m not yet old enough to accept that sometimes
your heart desires discord
I saw a scared, gentle flower in the wilderness
When I touched it, the diorama turned into reality
The whims of God draw the map that depicts my future
Countless sounds echo from it
and I chase them
whatever it may bring
The bonds that let us sit together under a starry sky
show me human warmth
The bonds we forge as we hurt others
are the bonds I want to protect
“Stupid box!” is a more likely exclamation of frustration than just plain “Stupid!”
Source: I’m a native hater of boxes.
“huge” by itself carries the connotation of “too”. So either go with “It’s huge!” or “Too big!” (I prefer the former.)
Both gg and FFF went with “Brush my teeth.” here for a reason.
You know there’s a word for “not asleep”, right?
“You’re still awake, Sasami?”
I’m not counting this as an issue, but it seems pretty silly to call it a “late-night anime” when we already know it’s late at night.
Just because you hear a name doesn’t mean you have to sub it in. Here, it stands out… and not in a good way.
“Are these for me?!”
I get that this dude’s straight baka, but there are limits. A box of chocolates, while being both a box and a possible lunch, is not a “lunch box”.
“Kill them!” is a better option here. “Murder” has negative connotations built in. It indicates she knows it’s “wrong” but is fine with it anyway. But that’s not really it cuz this chick doesn’t know much about anything, let alone the connotations behind “murder”.
Yes, it’s a stronger term and I’m sure you intended to use that for a greater effect for the line. But it doesn’t fit with her character.
more -> another
Yes, he can purchase more than just one, but since he intended it to be his lunch by itself, that doesn’t make much sense.
particularly -> really
That ain’t how you use “particularly”.
Not loving it, but this was definitely better than gg’s and FFF’s translations (“prepubescent hag” and “loli-hag” respectively).
Why would you capitalize “nightmare”? Would you do the same for “easy”?
“Nightmare Mode” or “nightmare mode” seem like better options.
Oh you guyz. <3
Visual grade: B+ (I want to give you guys a higher score, but that hideous karaoke and styling? That’s not A-tier.)
Script grade: B-
Overall grade: B
A lot of the English mistakes I pointed out may seem like nitpicks at first blush, but all run together it turns into something that I don’t feel I touch on explicitly enough — the overall feel of a release. And Commie’s was pretty bumpy.
But to throw a wrench in that argument, Commie also had a number of lines that I felt were much better than I was expecting to see. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them end up the favorite in the TL Party. (I might do a TL Comparison post for 01 because there’s still a lot I want to talk about when it comes to group differences.)
tl;dr so far:
Typesetting: Commie > gg
Styling: gg > Commie
Karaoke: Indeterminate. (Commie’s was the only understandable version for the karaoke, but the visuals were shit.)
Script: Commie > gg
Speed: gg > Commie
I’d say Commie is a better option than gg. Up next is FFF’s.
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