Translation Party: [Commie vs. FTW vs. HorribleSubs vs. t4w] Watamote (Episode 01)

Fansub Review, Translation Party — By on July 12, 2013 12:20 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


My sentiments exactly, Tomoko.

Translation Party House Rules:

Spoiler:
1. Translation Parties are intended to help you make the best subtitle choice for a given anime. Choose which line(s) you liked best by selecting them with the checkbox.

2. I split the Party into two parts — Essential and Extended. Assuming you want to get this shit over with quickly, just go with the Essential choices. I picked these to be the most representative lines in the releases. But if you’re one of those people who want more comparisons to help you come to a decision, go with the Essential choices and the Extended ones.

3. If you didn’t like any of the lines, choose the “N/A” option. The results for “N/A” won’t be automatically tabulated, so you’ll have to do the math in your head. Have my gomens and nasais.

4. A “>” indicates that another character has begun speaking. If there are three characters in a line comparison, I will indicate the third with a “>>” and so on for more characters.

5. Group order is randomized for each screenshot, every time you refresh the page. However, the “N/A” option will always appear at the bottom of the screen.

6. Your results will be summed up when you click the “Get your results” button. Feel free to vote in the poll at the end/post in the comments to let others know how you did and to compare your results with them.

7. Party hard.

 

 

Watamote – Episode 01

Comparisons: 10 or 20

Participants:

Commie

FTW

HorribleSubs

t4w

Codes:

{\i1} indicates the start of italics

{\i0} indicates the close of italics

Note: Asuka-Subs is sitting this round out because they promised to do an original TL starting on episode 2. (Their 01 would have resulted in a disqualification.) DameDesuYo won’t be appearing in this round either because they’re so bad the release could only be a trollsub.

 

 

Essential 1.

The narrator starts us off, then we hear Tomoko’s voice as she’s browsing the internet to look up whether or not she’s a forever alone girl.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 01

Commie :: This is the tale of a girl…
A tale of an unpopular girl…
>Unpopular girls?
>I see…
A piddling tale of her everyday life.
>In other words, an ugly girl that can’t get laid.
>That’s totally not like me.

FTW :: This is a certain girl’s…
A certain unpopular girl’s…
>Unpogirls…
>I see.
…totally trivial story.
>So they’re ugly pigs who are unpopular with guys?
>I’m not like that.

HorribleSubs :: Here we have a particular girl…
…an unpopular girl…
>Unpopular girl?
>I see…
…and her story that really doesn’t matter.
>In other words, an ugly girl who guys don’t like.
>That’s not me.

t4w :: This is…
a certain girl’s…
an unpopular girl’s…
>Mojo…
>I see.
…trivial story.
>So, it’s basically an ugly girl who doesn’t attract guys.
>That’s {\i1}not me.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 2.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 02

Commie :: I-I’m not even mad!
Girls who form their own cliques like that are just ditzy sluts anyway!
Only douchebags would hang around bitches like them!
I’d rather be alone than hang out with those pieces of trash.

FTW :: Th-This doesn’t bother me at all!
Girls who circlejerk like that are all morons with nothing but guys on their minds!
And guys who put up with sluts like them are trash and nothing more.
I’d rather be alone than hang out with them.

HorribleSubs :: I am not upset!
Girls who form their own groups like that
are just boy-crazy idiots anyway!
Only scumbag boys would hang around bitches like them!
If I’m supposed to hang out with people like that,
I’d rather be alone!

t4w :: I’m not frustrated.
Girls who make groups on the fly like that probably only think about guys.
Guys that hang out with bitches like that are just trash.
If I have to group with people like that, I’m better off alone.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 3.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 03

Commie :: I’m not like those whores who wear gaudy make-up and short skirts just to get boys.
Go ahead and live out your clichéd adolescence with your fellow scum.

FTW :: Only whores put on makeup and wear a short skirt just to attract guys.
You scum can live out your totally clichéd adolescent lives.

HorribleSubs :: Wearing makeup and short skirts to flirt with boys is for sluts.
Go ahead and live out
your clichéd adolescence with your fellow scum.

t4w :: To appeal to guys by putting on makeup and shortening my skirt…
That’s just slutty.
Scum at their best.
Please, I’d be happy even spending my youth as a beta.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 4.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 04

Commie :: Can’t this school be invaded by terrorists or something?
Or maybe the Shorty Aliens from G**tz could attack,
or Shimada from P***syte could show up.
After he’s been doused with sulfuric acid, of course.

FTW :: I wish terrorists would just invade this school.
Or the midget aliens from G*ntz.
Or maybe Shimada from P*rasyte.
Only after getting showered in acid, of course.

HorribleSubs :: Can’t this school be occupied by terrorists?
Or maybe the Shorty Aliens from G**tz could attack,
or Shimada from P***syte could show up.
After he’s been doused with sulfuric acid, of course.

t4w :: I wonder if this school could get occupied by a terrorist.
Or if the chibi alien from *** came to attack,
or ****ma shimada could appear…
Of course, after having bathed in sulphuric acid.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 5.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 05

Commie :: It’s been years since I’ve last looked at myself in a mirror.
Was the image I had of myself wrong?

FTW :: It’s been {\i1}years{\i0} since I last looked into a mirror for so long.
It caused a gestaltzerfall.

HorribleSubs :: Looking in the mirror too long for the
first time in years caused a Gestaltzerfall…

t4w :: It’s been so many years since I took a good long look in a mirror, I suffered gestalt decay.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 6.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 06

Commie :: You know, I’ve been thinking…
My life’s difficulty level shot up since I started high school.
I’m pretty sure I’m on hard mode now.
By the time I move on to college and join the work force, I’ll be on nightmare mode.
I might as well jump straight to the ending now.
>I’m sorry, okay? Chill out.

FTW :: I’ve been thinking, you know…
Ever since I got into high school, it felt like the difficulty level got bumped up to hard mode.
Then if I enter university and continue on with life, it’ll turn into nightmare mode.
Maybe going for a quick ending would be smarter.
>My bad. Calm down.

HorribleSubs :: Recently, I’ve been thinking that
my life’s difficulty level shot up since I started high school.
I’m pretty sure I’m in hard mode now.
By the time I move on to college
and the work force, I’ll be in nightmare mode.
I might as well jump right to the ending now.
>I’m sorry, okay? Chill out.

t4w :: I’ve been thinking…
Since becoming a high school student, life has suddenly become harder…
I’m probably on hard mode right now…
After this, when I become a college student, or become a worker, it’ll probably turn into nightmare mode…
In that case, skipping to the ending right now wouldn’t be too bad…
>I’m sorry, calm down.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 7.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 07

Commie :: Everyone’s gotta have at least {\i1}one{\i0} friend.
>Well, I’m not a handsome man that’s been the forward on the soccer team since my second year like you.
What’s up with the respect all of a sudden?

FTW :: I can’t imagine someone having absolutely no friends.
>I see that playing on the soccer team as a regular member
>since your second year has made you quite different from me, sir.
Why the “sir”?

HorribleSubs :: There’s no one who doesn’t have even one friend.
>A fine man like you, who’s been a regular forward on
>the soccer team since his second year, sure has some different ideas.
Why are you being all respectful now?

t4w :: There’s no one out there with no friends, is there?
>As expected, what you hear from someone who’s been a regular forward for the soccer club is different.
Why is she talking like that?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 8.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 08

Commie :: It’s true, right?
Every time you score a goal in a soccer game,
you also score with one of the female managers, right?
>What are you talking about?

FTW :: Isn’t it like, you know…
If you score a goal in a game,
don’t you also score with one of the team’s female managers?
>That’s not soccer anymore!

HorribleSubs :: It’s true, right?
Every time the forward scores a goal in a soccer game,
he gets to have a quickie with the female manager, right?
>What club does that?!

t4w :: Speaking of which, as a forward, whenever you score a goal,
you get a shot at the female manager, don’t you?
>What kind of club is that?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 9.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 09

Commie :: Shut up, you bitches and whores.
How many times a month do you go to karaoke?
I bet you just…
>”Okay! I’m gonna sing AK*!”
…do crap like that, right?

FTW :: Oh shut up, you playboys and stupid chicks.
Just how often do you go to karaoke?
And every time…
>Okay, I’ll sing AK* then!
That’s what you’d say.

HorribleSubs :: Shut up, you pansies and bimbos.
How many times a month do you go to karaoke?
I bet you just…
>Okay! I’m gonna sing AK*!
…do crap like that, right?

t4w :: So annoying, hypocrites and stupid bitches.
How many times are you going to go to karaoke?
It’s probably like…
>Alright, I’ll sing some AK*!
Or something like that.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 10.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 10

Commie :: I bet they also do lewd things since the rooms are private!
>”Oops, I’m getting some feedback from my mic down there.”
Gimme a break!
>>”My speaker makes awesome sounds…”
Just shut the fuck up!

FTW :: Then you’d abuse the fact that it’s a private room and do lewd stuff.
>”Oh, my mic down there just started howling.”
Damn you!
>>”Does my speaker make a nice sound?”
Drop dead!

HorribleSubs :: And I bet you do perverted stuff just because the door is closed…
>”Oops, I’m getting some feedback from my mic down there.”
Gimme a break!
>>”My speaker makes awesome sounds…”
Just shut your traps!

t4w :: Then they’ll start doing perverted thing in the room…
>”Whoah! My mic down there just howled!”
Give me a break!
>>”Ah, my speaker is making a nice sound”
So annoying!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

 

Decision Point:

  1. Results, plz.
  2. More comparisons, plz. (Read on.)

 

 

 

Expanded 1.

Tomoko lost in her delusions.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E01

Commie :: I’m as popular as they get!
And starting next month, I’ll be
starting high school!
High school is the peak of one’s popularity in life.
For three years, raging hormones and carnal desires will draw all the boys to me!

FTW :: I’m popular!
And not only am I popular, but starting next month,
I’ll be going to high school!
The point in one’s life when becoming popular is easiest.
Three years of raging hormones when flags can be set without lifting a finger!

HorribleSubs :: I am popular!
And starting next month, I’ll be…
A high school girl!
The most popular period in anyone’s life…
Three years when flags are set even if I don’t do anything,
and hormones run wild!

t4w :: I’m popular!
And so, starting next month, I’ll be a high school girl!
The time of life where one’s popularity peaks…
Without doing anything, I’ll trigger a bunch of flags.
Three years where my life will be turned upside-down!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 2.

Tomoko honestly and intelligently considering her situation.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E02

Commie :: I can talk normally with my mother.
I guess even recluses can talk with their parents.
But what really matters is talking with other people, especially guys.
I’ve gotta get back the social skills I had in middle school.

FTW :: I can talk with Mom just fine.
Well, even shut-ins can talk with their parents.
What matters is talking to other people. Especially guys.
I must recover my conversation skills from my junior high days.

HorribleSubs :: I can talk normally with my mother.
I mean, I guess even recluses can talk with their parents.
What matters is talking with other people, especially guys.
Jeez, I’ve got to get back the conversational nature
I had in middle school…

t4w :: Although I can converse normally with my mother…
Wait, even shut-ins can talk with their parents.
The important part is with other people.
Especially with boys.
No doubt, I need to go back to the conversational sense I had in middle school.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 3.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E03

Commie :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it ’cause I’m short and flat-chested?
Wait, how come I’m not popular with guys who’re into little girls then?

FTW :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it because I’m short and flat?
But if that’s the case, lolicons would be all over me!

HorribleSubs :: But if I’m not ugly, why am I not popular?
Because I’m short with small boobs? No…
Shouldn’t that get me even more points with guys who love little girls?!

t4w :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it because I’m small and flat?
No, as a loli, I’d actually score high!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 4.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E04

Commie :: Good lord! Who’s this freakin’ ugly chick?!
Oh, it’s just you, Sis…

FTW :: Whoa, who’s this freaking ugly chick?!
Oh, it’s just you, Sis?

HorribleSubs :: Whoa! Freakin’ ugly!
Oh, it’s you, Sis…

t4w :: Whoah! Who’s this ugly chick?
Oh, it’s you, nee-chan.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 5.

Tomoko trying for the little brother route.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E05

Commie :: Wouldn’t you rather me play {\i1}Winning Eleven{\i0} with you instead?
>No. Get out.

FTW :: Wanna play PES for a change?
>No. Get out.

HorribleSubs :: Hey, wanna play {\i1}Winning Eleven{\i0} like we used to?
>No. Get out.

t4w :: What about playing some WE like before?
>I won’t play. Get out.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 6.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E06

Commie :: Don’t just dig through my stuff!
Go kill yourself!
>Yeah. I should just kill myself.

FTW :: Stop poking around my stuff!
Go kill yourself!
>Okay, then.
>I’ll commit suicide.

HorribleSubs :: Don’t just dig through my stuff! Drop dead!
>Okay. I’ll kill myself.

t4w :: Don’t look around without asking!
Die!
>I get it. I’ll kill myself.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 7.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E07

Commie :: It’s just that I haven’t had a conversation with anyone lately.
I can no longer hold a conversation with anyone outside of our family.
>What?
I need to get rehabilitated back into society! Talk with me for an hour every day!
>Maybe when Hell freezes over.

FTW :: I just noticed that I haven’t talked with anyone lately.
Now I can’t talk with anyone outside the family.
>Why?
I don’t know!
Help me get better! Talk to me for an hour every day!
>Hell no.

HorribleSubs :: I just realized I haven’t had a conversation with anyone lately.
Now I can’t talk with anyone outside my family.
>Why?
So talk with me an hour each day for rehab!
>No way in hell.

t4w :: I’ve noticed that I haven’t been talking with anybody lately.
I can’t even talk with anybody but family anymore.
>Why?
Therefore, to help me rehabilitate,
talk with me for one hour every day.
>No way.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 8.

Tomoko, bargaining. (Okay, guys, show of hands. This scene. Who else?)

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E08

Commie :: Are you gonna talk with me or not?
Hurry up and decide.
Should I just kill myself now?
>If you were my brother, I’d’ve punched your face by now.
>So for how long?
Until I get a friend—no, a boyfriend.
>So you’re basically sentencing me to life in prison?
No, I think a month should be enough.
>She’s surprisingly positive.

FTW :: So? Will you talk with me?
Decide already,
or I’ll kill myself.
>If she were a boy, I would’ve punched her in the face by now.
>For how long?
Until I can make a fri—no, a boyfriend.
>That sounds like a life sentence to me.
Nah, I think a month will be enough.
>That’s surprisingly optimistic of her.

HorribleSubs :: Anyway…
Are you gonna converse with me or not?
Hurry up and decide.
I’ll kill myself.
>If you were my brother, I’d punch you in the face.
>So, for how long?
Until I get a friend… No, a boyfriend.
>So you’re basically sentencing me to life in prison?
No, I think a month should be enough.
>She’s surprisingly positive…

t4w :: Anyway, what about it? Will you talk with me?
Please decide quickly.
>If I had an older brother instead of a sister, I could punch him at least.
>By the way, when will this stop?
Until I get frie-
No, a boyfriend.
>Isn’t that basically life without parole?
No, if you give me about one month…
>She’s surprisingly optimistic.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 9.

Tomoko, smug mode.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E09

Commie :: People can read manga for free in here,
so nobody would bat an eye at a solo player.
It’s a weekday afternoon.
You people should be at home, doing something more important instead.
A place where everyone’s lamer than me isn’t so bad.

FTW :: I can read manga for free here, and it’s suited for solo players as well.
What are you all doing here on a weekday afternoon?
Go watch the house instead!
The people here are all way worse than me. Feels good to be here.

HorribleSubs :: People can read manga for free in here,
so nobody would bat an eye at a solo player.
It’s a weekday afternoon.
You people should be at home, doing your thing.
Though, a place like this where everyone’s
worse off than me isn’t so bad.

t4w :: Here, I can read manga without restraint even as a solo player.
It’s a weekday evening. You guys should just guard your homes.
Well, everyone here is beneath me, so it’s all good.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 10.

Ah, good old high school cruelty.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E10

Commie :: What?
>Did you see her?
>That chick was ugly as sin!
>You saw her, right, Tomoki?
>>No, I wasn’t looking…
>What a waste!
>You don’t see someone {\i1}that{\i0} ugly every day!

FTW :: What?
>That chick was so freaking ugly.
>Didn’t you see her too, Tomoki?
>>N-No, I didn’t look.
>You missed out! It’s rare to see someone {\i1}that{\i0} ugly!

HorribleSubs :: What?
>Just…
>That chick was super ugly!
>You saw her, right, Tomoki?
>>No, I wasn’t looking…
>What a waste!
>That was a rare experience in its own right!

t4w :: What?
>Nothing, just that that was a really ugly chick.
>Tomoki, did you see?
>>Oh, I wasn’t looking.
>What a waste! That was a rare sight!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

 

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Which group had which line (unformatted, lazy-mode Sage):

Spoiler:

Essential 1.

The narrator starts us off, then we hear Tomoko’s voice as she’s browsing the internet to look up whether or not she’s a forever alone girl.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 01

Commie :: This is the tale of a girl…
A tale of an unpopular girl…
>Unpopular girls?
>I see…
A piddling tale of her everyday life.
>In other words, an ugly girl that can’t get laid.
>That’s totally not like me.

FTW :: This is a certain girl’s…
A certain unpopular girl’s…
>Unpogirls…
>I see.
…totally trivial story.
>So they’re ugly pigs who are unpopular with guys?
>I’m not like that.

HorribleSubs :: Here we have a particular girl…
…an unpopular girl…
>Unpopular girl?
>I see…
…and her story that really doesn’t matter.
>In other words, an ugly girl who guys don’t like.
>That’s not me.

t4w :: This is…
a certain girl’s…
an unpopular girl’s…
>Mojo…
>I see.
…trivial story.
>So, it’s basically an ugly girl who doesn’t attract guys.
>That’s {\i1}not me.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 2.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 02

Commie :: I-I’m not even mad!
Girls who form their own cliques like that are just ditzy sluts anyway!
Only douchebags would hang around bitches like them!
I’d rather be alone than hang out with those pieces of trash.

FTW :: Th-This doesn’t bother me at all!
Girls who circlejerk like that are all morons with nothing but guys on their minds!
And guys who put up with sluts like them are trash and nothing more.
I’d rather be alone than hang out with them.

HorribleSubs :: I am not upset!
Girls who form their own groups like that
are just boy-crazy idiots anyway!
Only scumbag boys would hang around bitches like them!
If I’m supposed to hang out with people like that,
I’d rather be alone!

t4w :: I’m not frustrated.
Girls who make groups on the fly like that probably only think about guys.
Guys that hang out with bitches like that are just trash.
If I have to group with people like that, I’m better off alone.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 3.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 03

Commie :: I’m not like those whores who wear gaudy make-up and short skirts just to get boys.
Go ahead and live out your clichéd adolescence with your fellow scum.

FTW :: Only whores put on makeup and wear a short skirt just to attract guys.
You scum can live out your totally clichéd adolescent lives.

HorribleSubs :: Wearing makeup and short skirts to flirt with boys is for sluts.
Go ahead and live out
your clichéd adolescence with your fellow scum.

t4w :: To appeal to guys by putting on makeup and shortening my skirt…
That’s just slutty.
Scum at their best.
Please, I’d be happy even spending my youth as a beta.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 4.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 04

Commie :: Can’t this school be invaded by terrorists or something?
Or maybe the Shorty Aliens from G**tz could attack,
or Shimada from P***syte could show up.
After he’s been doused with sulfuric acid, of course.

FTW :: I wish terrorists would just invade this school.
Or the midget aliens from G*ntz.
Or maybe Shimada from P*rasyte.
Only after getting showered in acid, of course.

HorribleSubs :: Can’t this school be occupied by terrorists?
Or maybe the Shorty Aliens from G**tz could attack,
or Shimada from P***syte could show up.
After he’s been doused with sulfuric acid, of course.

t4w :: I wonder if this school could get occupied by a terrorist.
Or if the chibi alien from *** came to attack,
or ****ma shimada could appear…
Of course, after having bathed in sulphuric acid.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 5.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 05

Commie :: It’s been years since I’ve last looked at myself in a mirror.
Was the image I had of myself wrong?

FTW :: It’s been {\i1}years{\i0} since I last looked into a mirror for so long.
It caused a gestaltzerfall.

HorribleSubs :: Looking in the mirror too long for the
first time in years caused a Gestaltzerfall…

t4w :: It’s been so many years since I took a good long look in a mirror, I suffered gestalt decay.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 6.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 06

Commie :: You know, I’ve been thinking…
My life’s difficulty level shot up since I started high school.
I’m pretty sure I’m on hard mode now.
By the time I move on to college and join the work force, I’ll be on nightmare mode.
I might as well jump straight to the ending now.
>I’m sorry, okay? Chill out.

FTW :: I’ve been thinking, you know…
Ever since I got into high school, it felt like the difficulty level got bumped up to hard mode.
Then if I enter university and continue on with life, it’ll turn into nightmare mode.
Maybe going for a quick ending would be smarter.
>My bad. Calm down.

HorribleSubs :: Recently, I’ve been thinking that
my life’s difficulty level shot up since I started high school.
I’m pretty sure I’m in hard mode now.
By the time I move on to college
and the work force, I’ll be in nightmare mode.
I might as well jump right to the ending now.
>I’m sorry, okay? Chill out.

t4w :: I’ve been thinking…
Since becoming a high school student, life has suddenly become harder…
I’m probably on hard mode right now…
After this, when I become a college student, or become a worker, it’ll probably turn into nightmare mode…
In that case, skipping to the ending right now wouldn’t be too bad…
>I’m sorry, calm down.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 7.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 07

Commie :: Everyone’s gotta have at least {\i1}one{\i0} friend.
Well, I’m not a handsome man that’s been the forward on the soccer team since my second year like you.
What’s up with the respect all of a sudden?

FTW :: I can’t imagine someone having absolutely no friends.
I see that playing on the soccer team as a regular member
since your second year has made you quite different from me, sir.
Why the “sir”?

HorribleSubs :: There’s no one who doesn’t have even one friend.
>A fine man like you, who’s been a regular forward on
>the soccer team since his second year, sure has some different ideas.
Why are you being all respectful now?

t4w :: There’s no one out there with no friends, is there?
As expected, what you hear from someone who’s been a regular forward for the soccer club is different.
Why is she talking like that?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 8.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 08

Commie :: It’s true, right?
Every time you score a goal in a soccer game,
you also score with one of the female managers, right?
What are you talking about?

FTW :: Isn’t it like, you know…
If you score a goal in a game,
don’t you also score with one of the team’s female managers?
That’s not soccer anymore!

HorribleSubs :: It’s true, right?
Every time the forward scores a goal in a soccer game,
he gets to have a quickie with the female manager, right?
>What club does that?!

t4w :: Speaking of which, as a forward, whenever you score a goal,
you get a shot at the female manager, don’t you?
What kind of club is that?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 9.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 09

Commie :: Shut up, you bitches and whores.
How many times a month do you go to karaoke?
I bet you just…
“Okay! I’m gonna sing AK*!”
…do crap like that, right?

FTW :: Oh shut up, you playboys and stupid chicks.
Just how often do you go to karaoke?
And every time…
Okay, I’ll sing AK* then!
That’s what you’d say.

HorribleSubs :: Shut up, you pansies and bimbos.
How many times a month do you go to karaoke?
I bet you just…
>Okay! I’m gonna sing AK*!
…do crap like that, right?

t4w :: So annoying, hypocrites and stupid bitches.
How many times are you going to go to karaoke?
It’s probably like…
Alright, I’ll sing some AK*!
Or something like that.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Essential 10.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui 10

Commie :: I bet they also do lewd things since the rooms are private!
“Oops, I’m getting some feedback from my mic down there.”
Gimme a break!
“My speaker makes awesome sounds…”
Just shut the fuck up!

FTW :: Then you’d abuse the fact that it’s a private room and do lewd stuff.
“Oh, my mic down there just started howling.”
Damn you!
“Does my speaker make a nice sound?”
Drop dead!

HorribleSubs :: And I bet you do perverted stuff just because the door is closed…
“Oops, I’m getting some feedback from my mic down there.”
Gimme a break!
“My speaker makes awesome sounds…”
Just shut your traps!

t4w :: Then they’ll start doing perverted thing in the room…
“Whoah! My mic down there just howled!”
Give me a break!
“Ah, my speaker is making a nice sound”
So annoying!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Decision Point:

Results, plz.
More comparisons, plz. (Read on.)

Expanded 1.

Tomoko lost in her delusions.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E01

Commie :: I’m as popular as they get!
And starting next month, I’ll be
starting high school!
High school is the peak of one’s popularity in life.
For three years, raging hormones and carnal desires will draw all the boys to me!

FTW :: I’m popular!
And not only am I popular, but starting next month,
I’ll be going to high school!
The point in one’s life when becoming popular is easiest.
Three years of raging hormones when flags can be set without lifting a finger!

HorribleSubs :: I am popular!
And starting next month, I’ll be…
A high school girl!
The most popular period in anyone’s life…
Three years when flags are set even if I don’t do anything,
and hormones run wild!

t4w :: I’m popular!
And so, starting next month, I’ll be a high school girl!
The time of life where one’s popularity peaks…
Without doing anything, I’ll trigger a bunch of flags.
Three years where my life will be turned upside-down!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 2.

Tomoko honestly and intelligently considering her situation.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E02

Commie :: I can talk normally with my mother.
I guess even recluses can talk with their parents.
But what really matters is talking with other people, especially guys.
I’ve gotta get back the social skills I had in middle school.

FTW :: I can talk with Mom just fine.
Well, even shut-ins can talk with their parents.
What matters is talking to other people. Especially guys.
I must recover my conversation skills from my junior high days.

HorribleSubs :: I can talk normally with my mother.
I mean, I guess even recluses can talk with their parents.
What matters is talking with other people, especially guys.
Jeez, I’ve got to get back the conversational nature
I had in middle school…

t4w :: Although I can converse normally with my mother…
Wait, even shut-ins can talk with their parents.
The important part is with other people.
Especially with boys.
No doubt, I need to go back to the conversational sense I had in middle school.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 3.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E03

Commie :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it ’cause I’m short and flat-chested?
Wait, how come I’m not popular with guys who’re into little girls then?

FTW :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it because I’m short and flat?
But if that’s the case, lolicons would be all over me!

HorribleSubs :: But if I’m not ugly, why am I not popular?
Because I’m short with small boobs? No…
Shouldn’t that get me even more points with guys who love little girls?!

t4w :: But if I’m not ugly, then why am I not popular?
Is it because I’m small and flat?
No, as a loli, I’d actually score high!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 4.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E04

Commie :: Good lord! Who’s this freakin’ ugly chick?!
Oh, it’s just you, Sis…

FTW :: Whoa, who’s this freaking ugly chick?!
Oh, it’s just you, Sis?

HorribleSubs :: Whoa! Freakin’ ugly!
Oh, it’s you, Sis…

t4w :: Whoah! Who’s this ugly chick?
Oh, it’s you, nee-chan.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 5.

Tomoko trying for the little brother route.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E05

Commie :: Wouldn’t you rather me play {\i1}Winning Eleven{\i0} with you instead?
No. Get out.

FTW :: Wanna play PES for a change?
No. Get out.

HorribleSubs :: Hey, wanna play {\i1}Winning Eleven{\i0} like we used to?
>No. Get out.

t4w :: What about playing some WE like before?
I won’t play. Get out.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 6.

Tomoko having a freakout.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E06

Commie :: Don’t just dig through my stuff!
Go kill yourself!
>Yeah. I should just kill myself.

FTW :: Stop poking around my stuff!
Go kill yourself!
>Okay, then.
>I’ll commit suicide.

HorribleSubs :: Don’t just dig through my stuff! Drop dead!
>Okay. I’ll kill myself.

t4w :: Don’t look around without asking!
Die!
>I get it. I’ll kill myself.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 7.

Tomoko’s brother, confused as shit.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E07

Commie :: It’s just that I haven’t had a conversation with anyone lately.
I can no longer hold a conversation with anyone outside of our family.
>What?
I need to get rehabilitated back into society! Talk with me for an hour every day!
>Maybe when Hell freezes over.

FTW :: I just noticed that I haven’t talked with anyone lately.
Now I can’t talk with anyone outside the family.
>Why?
I don’t know!
Help me get better! Talk to me for an hour every day!
>Hell no.

HorribleSubs :: I just realized I haven’t had a conversation with anyone lately.
Now I can’t talk with anyone outside my family.
>Why?
So talk with me an hour each day for rehab!
>No way in hell.

t4w :: I’ve noticed that I haven’t been talking with anybody lately.
I can’t even talk with anybody but family anymore.
>Why?
Therefore, to help me rehabilitate,
talk with me for one hour every day.
>No way.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 8.

Tomoko, bargaining. (Okay, guys, show of hands. This scene. Who else?)

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E08

Commie :: Are you gonna talk with me or not?
Hurry up and decide.
Should I just kill myself now?
>If you were my brother, I’d’ve punched your face by now.
>So for how long?
Until I get a friend—no, a boyfriend.
>So you’re basically sentencing me to life in prison?
No, I think a month should be enough.
>She’s surprisingly positive.

FTW :: So? Will you talk with me?
Decide already,
or I’ll kill myself.
>If she were a boy, I would’ve punched her in the face by now.
>For how long?
Until I can make a fri—no, a boyfriend.
>That sounds like a life sentence to me.
Nah, I think a month will be enough.
>That’s surprisingly optimistic of her.

HorribleSubs :: Anyway…
Are you gonna converse with me or not?
Hurry up and decide.
I’ll kill myself.
>If you were my brother, I’d punch you in the face.
>So, for how long?
Until I get a friend… No, a boyfriend.
>So you’re basically sentencing me to life in prison?
No, I think a month should be enough.
>She’s surprisingly positive…

t4w :: Anyway, what about it? Will you talk with me?
Please decide quickly.
>If I had an older brother instead of a sister, I could punch him at least.
>By the way, when will this stop?
Until I get frie-
No, a boyfriend.
>Isn’t that basically life without parole?
No, if you give me about one month…
>She’s surprisingly optimistic.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 9.

Tomoko, smug mode.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E09

Commie :: People can read manga for free in here,
so nobody would bat an eye at a solo player.
It’s a weekday afternoon.
You people should be at home, doing something more important instead.
A place where everyone’s lamer than me isn’t so bad.

FTW :: I can read manga for free here, and it’s suited for solo players as well.
What are you all doing here on a weekday afternoon?
Go watch the house instead!
The people here are all way worse than me. Feels good to be here.

HorribleSubs :: People can read manga for free in here,
so nobody would bat an eye at a solo player.
It’s a weekday afternoon.
You people should be at home, doing your thing.
Though, a place like this where everyone’s
worse off than me isn’t so bad.

t4w :: Here, I can read manga without restraint even as a solo player.
It’s a weekday evening. You guys should just guard your homes.
Well, everyone here is beneath me, so it’s all good.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Expanded 10.

Ah, good old high school cruelty.

Audio:

Start audio 

Watashi ga Motenai no wa Dou Kangaetemo Omaera ga Warui E10

Commie :: What?
>Did you see her?
>That chick was ugly as sin!
>You saw her, right, Tomoki?
>>No, I wasn’t looking…
>What a waste!
>You don’t see someone {\i1}that{\i0} ugly every day!

FTW :: What?
>That chick was so freaking ugly.
>Didn’t you see her too, Tomoki?
>>N-No, I didn’t look.
>You missed out! It’s rare to see someone {\i1}that{\i0} ugly!

HorribleSubs :: What?
>Just…
>That chick was super ugly!
>You saw her, right, Tomoki?
>>No, I wasn’t looking…
>What a waste!
>That was a rare experience in its own right!

t4w :: What?
>Nothing, just that that was a really ugly chick.
>Tomoki, did you see?
>>Oh, I wasn’t looking.
>What a waste! That was a rare sight!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Grade:
Show:
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

33 Comments

Ryuk says:

FTW’s gonna win. Even if they have a terrible script. Just cause of their name, they’re gonna win. They always fight to win!

Dark_Sage says:

Win what? Downloads? The second fansubbers admit downloads count, they have to face the reality that automated rip scripts are better than them at fansubbing because nobody gives a shit about anything other than Crunchyroll/HorribleSubs.

For the sake of their pride, download count can no longer be the win condition.

Ryuk says:

Nah. This poll. They’re gonna win…

DQA says:

Essential 2 audio aint working for me :/

Dark_Sage says:

Fixed.

Dark_Sage says:

Overall scores…
Commie: 8 times
FTW: 5 times
HorribleSubs: 1 time
t4w: 0 times
N/A: 6 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie

Commie won this one for me.

stgmefly says:

tfw d_s and commie

perd says:

Let’s be serious.

Fyurie says:

Overall scores…
Commie: 4 times
FTW: 8 times
HorribleSubs: 3 times
t4w: 1 time
Looks like your best bet is FTW

Slightly different than I expected.

duplex says:

Commie: 6 times
FTW: 1 time
HorribleSubs: 1 time
t4w: 1 time
Looks like your best bet is Commie

Must be the characterization.

Solaristics says:

Overall scores…
Commie: 4 times
FTW: 7 times
HorribleSubs: 0 times
t4w: 2 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

Thought as much.

kokujin-kun says:

Commie: 7 times
FTW: 9 times
HorribleSubs: 2 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

Okay then. Raws it is.

t4w says:

Commie: 0 times
FTW: 0 times
HorribleSubs: 0 times
t4w: 10 times
Looks like your best bet is t4w

Well, I guess that settles it.

Dark_Sage says:

The results don’t lie.

DQA says:

Commie: 6 times
FTW: 3 times
HorribleSubs: 0 times
t4w: 1 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie

Someone says:

Overall scores…
Commie: 0 times
FTW: 3 times
HorribleSubs: 7 times
t4w: 4 times
Looks like your best bet is HorribleSubs

Maybe I’ll alternate groups for different eps…

returnity says:

Get FTW for 2 then… “drop dead, normalfags”

Vanth says:

Essentials only:

Overall scores…
Commie: 2 times
FTW: 4 times
HorribleSubs: 4 times
t4w: 1 time
It’s a tie between FTW and HorribleSubs.

FTW it is then. Well it helps that they’re also the first to release.

Commie: 2 times
FTW: 7 times
HorribleSubs: 0 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

I expected as much.

stgmefly says:

My essentials having a freakout:
Overall scores…
Commie: 3 times
FTW: 6 times
HorribleSubs: 1 time
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

Me having a freakout:
Overall scores…
Commie: 5 times
FTW: 12 times
HorribleSubs: 3 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

[freakout intensifies]

Nevreen says:

Commie: 7 times
FTW: 1 time
HorribleSubs: 0 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie

Though all of these scripts could use a lot of work.

8thSin says:

Some lines are too long :(

Overall scores…
Commie: 5 times
FTW: 4 times
HorribleSubs: 7 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is HorribleSubs

Almost every sequence had two similar ones, a different one, and a horrible one…

Pretty interesting format :)

corocoro says:

Welcome back from the death. :p

Ryuk says:

Whoa, whoa, whoa… Welcome back. :D

returnity says:

He’s been ‘back’.

meishika says:

Commie: 6 times
FTW: 7 times
HorribleSubs: 7 times
t4w: 5 times
It’s a tie between FTW and HorribleSubs

Almost a tie, huh? That makes me more confused…

fohfuu says:

Extended:
Overall scores…
Commie: 9 times
FTW: 13 times
HorribleSubs: 12 times
t4w: 6 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

As expected of Moeworks!

returnity says:

Essential scores…
Commie: 3 times
FTW: 8 times
HorribleSubs: 2 times
t4w: 0 times
Looks like your best bet is FTW

FTW for the win…

Vance says:

Overall scores…
Commie: 8 times
FTW: 2 times
HorribleSubs: 1 time
t4w: 0 times
N/A: 9 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie

Oh, look, Commie actually has a real editor working on this series.

Desu says:

I made the manual analysis since nothing shows up to the side of the checkboxes in every browser I tried.
Instead of choosing one, I gave -1 0 or +1 for each item, being -1 for parts that had the original meaning compromised (I’m looking at you, t4w).

The final score is:

15 – Commie (NO negatives)
05 – FTW (4 negatives)
10 – Horrible (1 negative)
01 – t4w (5 negatives)

Welp, Commie it is!

Dark_Sage says:

This likely has to do with the new WordPress upgrade I installed. Fucking hell, this isn’t gonna be fun to deal with.

Pacific says:

I’m surprised Commie won your detailed analysis. Commie had some good edits, but I saw bad grammar, poor nuance, and excessive line length, especially in the expanded section. Despite their win for me, I may have been biased against FTW since I was hoping for a better sub choice to rekindle my interest in this show.

Final score with/without ties

07 / 04 – Commie
14 / 10 – FTW
05 / 02 - Horrible
00 / 00 – t4w

BTW: I gave Essential 5 (Commie was way off) to FTW even though gestaltzerfall is too esoterically Japanese. They would’ve been better off incorporating jamais vu, the “opposite of déjà vu.”

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