Michael apparently wishes it was still the Geocities era, given by how he set the site up.
Blinded by failure
The review format is synopsis followed by pros/cons and then the actual review bit. Not that I’d suggest checking any of the reviews to see if I’m being honest.
See, this guy legitimately thinks the only way an anime can be good is if he can masturbate to it easily. Here are some examples of series pros and cons I grabbed over a couple of his reviews:
Pros: Lots of fan-service, Chocolate and Tira transform into two hot girls, OVA episodes turn up the ecchi content and are very naughty
Cons: crazy-looking character designs with a lot of dudes running around without shirts on, practically zero fan-service
There’s no sense of self-parody there; just the sense that you’re reading the blog of a registered sex offender. Combine that with the ridiculously redundant writing and it’s not even worth visiting the site to laugh at it.
Zaku just does not understand the blog format. Listen up, Zaku: the Add Media button exists for a reason. Throw some fucking images into your posts.
If you tell me a show is “actually well-animated” or “everything is filled with fucking patterns. Sometimes only parts of the screen though.”, I want to see some evidence. Descriptions only go so far.
They also break up the monotony of text, allowing readers a breather before going back in for more.
The episodic reviews here aren’t bad (ignoring the lack of visuals), but they aren’t good either. They just exist. But with the hundreds of anime blogs out there (most dead or inactive, but play along), just existing isn’t enough.
Saving Zaku from the depths of mediocrity are his editorial posts. Reading about the German anime fandom isn’t something you can find many other places (well, in English, that is). Unfortunately, the editorials tend to suffer from the same fate the reviews do: once you look away from the walls of text, you have little incentive to put the effort into finding your place where you left off.
Cut the fluff and add some fluffy pics, Zaku. It’ll do you well.
This guy tries so hard to be funny, you can’t help but cringe. Check out this comedic work from his Top 10 Shows of 2013 list, where instead of listing shows he liked, he lists those he doesn’t.
“Sometimes, anime creators like to experiment. Dog and Scissors was one of those anime.
It was revolutionary because it complimented the main story of a boy turning into a dog with small boob jokes and psychotic tsunderes.
A truly groundbreaking work.”
Of course, Reiseng wasn’t actually smart enough to come up with the concept of sarcasm by himself. He had help!
“Okay, silly “BAD” anime ranking over. I totally stole the idea to do this bait & switch from my main man J.”
Pretty silly, man!
But as funny as that was, the main draw of the site is Reiseng’s “Weekly Shonen” posts, where he recaps the latest events from Bleach, One Piece, and Naruto.
To set himself apart from those series’ wikis, he provides valuable commentary for readers.
“I have no idea what Jugram’s power is but it is something difficult to understand. Tipping the scales, huh. Balance, huh. I sort of get what he is saying but I have no idea why he is saying it. I guess, it is just more Bleach logic.”
And with commentary like that, who wouldn’t want to visit the site? (TL Note: I was being sarcastic there. Please excuse my silliness.)
If you think I’m above picking on a retard, you’re wrong.
Reviews on this site last a paragraph, with the bulk of the review format being taken up by warnings about Violence, Sexuality, and Non-Christian Religions. Though he does freak out about anything that’s blasphemous to his view of Christianity, he at least doesn’t explicitly let it affect his scores (he gave Eva 1.0 a 10/10). No, what does affect his scores is his exquisitely shitty taste.
I didn’t much care for this one. I’m not much into stories where there seem to be no heroes. The members of the Black Lagoon are mercenaries who work for whoever will pay them, and have no qualms about what they do. For this reason, I could not enjoy the series. However, I did enjoy the banter between Rock and Revi, the main focus of the story. Rock was an idealist who tried his best not to let the underground horror he was experiencing taint him and Revi is his polar opposite. It was fun to watch them interact. Sadly, neither of these were enough to save it from the low rating. I can’t really recommend this one.
I don’t necessarily care if I agree with a writer’s opinion when I’m reading a review (unless I’m going in blind and already trust the reviewer); I’m looking to see if he or she has anything worth saying. But the juvenile thoughts on this blog really aren’t worth listening to.
Shows without heroes aren’t worth watching? Convince me, then. Just throwing it out there and acting like it’s perfectly reasonable and needs no clarification does not help me as a reader.