A guide for the new aniblogger.
Why write a top 10?
- It’s easy.
- It’s really easy.
- People read them.
Pander Pander Pander
The goal of any top 10 list is not to get your opinion across, but rather the opinions of your readers. After all, they’re not reading your blog for your fucking thoughts; they just want to look into that mirror called a monitor and smile when it shows what they want to see.
So how do you tap into that? Well that’s where the top-ten list comes in. The ultimate goal here is for your list to be so non-offensive that they can’t help but tolerate you. That’s how you find aniblog success! (Just ask psgels.)
Top 10? What about Top 11?
Rookie question. Always do a Top 10. Any more than 10 and it feels like the “honor” of being included is insignificant. Any less and you stand the risk of offending the fans of the series you exclude.
Don’t think. Just do it.
Narrow it down
There are way too many anime in a season to choose from for a Top 10 list, so you’re gonna have to narrow down your choices.
Make it clear in your top 10 that you’re not going to include short anime (3-minute shows, for example), second cours, or direct sequels to recently aired shows. This means that people can’t complain that you didn’t include their most favoritest show ever because, hey, you’re just playing by the rules. Super easy to cut shit out then.
Narrow it down even more
Now cut out anything that has fewer than 3000 people scoring it on MAL. If people aren’t watching the show, nobody will have issues with you ignoring it.
Also get rid of the ecchi-focused shows. Fans of series like that are used to being marginalized — they won’t complain if you leave out their favorite shows.
Choosing the final 10
I sure hope you’ve been keeping a pulse on what’s popular on 4chan, reddit, and MyAnimeList. The audience on each of these sites is pretty damn similar and your readers are likely culled from their ranks. If you avoid what each site’s hivemind has determined is good, you risk their internet wrath.
For Fall 2012, the hiveminds have determined you must like JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and Chuunibyou. If you don’t include them in your top 3, you may as well just shut down your blog now. Include an intellectual show as well, to show that you is so smarts.
You should rank them as follows: the most popular show, then the most intellectual show, then the show with the worst fanbase.
I mean, just look at this. Doesn’t it seem “right”?
Okay, the top 3 were easy. Now you have to fill out the other 7 spots. Gonna be hard, right? Wrong!
All you have to do is figure out which shows are the most enjoyed by fucknuts with no taste and even less shame. Yup, it’s time to pander to the lowest class of anime fan: the anime fan.
Now that you have what you want, let’s rank them by assumed popularity. 4-6 will be the shows that people would be most angry at for being ranked too low. Spots 7 through 10 go to shows whose fans would just be happy enough to see them on a list.
And there you have it! Your rankings are complete, so it’s time to put it all together. Feast your eyes on
Your Top Ten:
1. Chuunibyou Demo Koi Ga Shitanai!
2. Shinsekai Yori
3. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure
4. Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun
6. Zetsuen no Tempest
8. Sakurasou No Pet Na Kanojo
9. Sukitte Ii Na Yo
10. Girls und Panzer
Sure, your list may have no personality or heart, but it is non-offensive. Watch the tepid responses masquerading as love flow in. And hey, even though the list may not match up with what you honestly feel the best shows were, doesn’t it just look good? You’d be forgiven for fooling yourself into thinking you came up with it yourself.