“More reviews? Dammit, Sage, I wanted more Youmacon posts!” Don’t worry; I’ll get on that soon enough.
Table of Contents
Release format: MKV (447 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics.
English style: British English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/2QcrgUAi
Speed: Quick (<48 hours)
Translation style: Original TL.
Group website: http://fffansubs.org/
IRC channel: #[email protected]
Opening. I definitely dig the use of spinning gears in the karaoke. Thematically relevant, they’re noticeable, but not annoyingly so. Gotta say it makes for an enjoyable karaoke.
Ending. I really, really like absurd karaoke that plays along with what Japan’s doing to the visuals. So yeah, I love that you guys put a ridiculous amount of time and effort into creating wacky karaoke. BUT that only matters so long as the karaoke is readable. People need to be able to understand the translation you put up, otherwise you may as well just have random symbols in the release instead.
From an entertainment perspective, this is great, but from an understandability one… not so much. Cut it back some, guys.
Rating: Okay+. I should give it a “Bad” since you can hardly read some of the lines, but I didn’t, so deal with it.
Not applicable for this release.
As you can see, this release was uncensored.
For those who didn’t catch the last review, I’m not being facetious; Funimation’s version has censor flashes as you can see below:
I’d have read the ED karaoke to see if I needed to put anything in this section, but since it was fucking unreadable half the time, I guess I can’t.
No, no, no. How the fuck is him saying that she looks like a beaten wife going to make her ovaries tremble? I mean, just look at her fucking face after he says that:
She’s soaked and it’s not even raining. So you need to get across that he says something right there that makes her think “Wow, he’s so fucking manly, I want to cough his cumsauce up for a week.”
Hiryuu: “B-But you got hurt so badly because of me!” / “You’re the one who got hurt.” <- She’s talking about hurt physically and then he replies that she’s hurt emotionally. Chicks dig that emotion shit. Well played, Hiryuu.
HorribleSubs: “But… you got so badly hurt because of me…!” / “You’re the one who’s badly hurt.” <- Another pass. Let’s see what Commie had.
Commie: “But you got badly hurt because of me! You’re the one who’s badly hurt.” / “We’ll defeat him…” <- …Well, if Commie’s had been timed right, this would’ve been a good line. Way to ruin the scene, guys.
So an entire house renowned for living with a fuckton of automatons only has one dog that Charlotte’s fond of? Try “a” instead of “the”.
“But one day, a dog automaton that Charlotte was fond of”
You’d want to use “lands” instead of “territory” here, for a variety of reasons. Mainly that the imagery conveyed from “lands” is more physical than something more conceptual like territory.
Yes, I’m being pedantic. This is just a tip rather than something I’m holding against you.
It’d be more “seem” or “look” than “are” here, since Raishin obviously doesn’t know how difficult Sigmund actually is to control.
No, that’s not how you use “Hold your tongue”. That idiom is intended as a “Shut the fuck up” kinda statement — it’s 100% negative. But here, Raishin is telling Char to be quiet in a “Don’t worry your pretty little head; I’ve fucking got this” way.
“Just sit back and keep your eyes peeled.”/”I’ll destroy that ugly mask and let you see her face.”
You’re using “we” in the right sense, but you’re using it in the wrong way.
we -> you
ESLs, yes, you can use “we” in the sense of “you” sometimes. However, that’s an advanced level technique and I wouldn’t suggest using it until you get to native-tier. But if you wanna learn it now… well, Dark_Sage is here for ya.
You generally use it in a dismissive/talking down sense. e.g. “Well aren’t we just a little bundle of sunshine?”
Note that it isn’t necessarily negative. For example, a doctor talking to a child patient. “And how are we doing today, Michelle?”
There is quite a bit more to the word “we”, but in this specific usage, that’s about all there is to it. Just note that it’s a risky bet since you can easily underplay it like FFF did here, causing it to be wrong.
“Once the trick is revealed, “magic” is reduced to nothing more than a mere curiosity.” would be a better way to convey the point.
Roll the second into “It was only a matter of time before people found out what was going on.” so it makes sense.
This is supposed to be endearingly insulting. Shit isn’t endearing to anyone but coprophiliacs, so just leave it as “you maggot.”
The fuck’s a “Ban Doll”? That means absolutely nothing. Try “Banned Doll”.
Nobody uses “fella” in a serious manner like this.
Thinking so hard about something that it causes you to mature isn’t even a trope, so I’m not sure where you guys pulled this from.
Visual grade: B+
Script grade: B-
Overall grade: B-
This is a far better option than Funimation’s release. I’ll check out how well Hiryuu and Commie did next. Or maybe I’ll just throw more Youmacon shit at you. Who knows~