What makes Loki so best girl?

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


I didn’t think I had to write this article. But then a Wild Turkey dropped by for a visit, and, well… here we are.

First off, let me define “best girl” to the casuals who stumbled onto this site from parts lesser: a best girl is the best girl in a particular show or series. In this case, we’re talking about Dungeon wo Mitai o Naritai no Desu Yuki-chan, or DanMachi for short. It’s the best anime of Spring 2015, which you can tell because it’s the most popular.

Since some of you aren’t cool enough to watch a couple episodes just to understand the post, here are the girls we’re working with as of episode 2:


Alternate Options

Random girl that reminds me why I made Fran my party leader in FFXII

The only reason I didn't drop Danmachi in the first two minutes

Far right, ofc. The more belts the better.



All you need to know is that tumblr likes her.


I mean, she probably smells good. Like really good.

But again, tumblr. Pass.


The Twins

Double Trouble

Normally I’d be arguing these two are best, but I don’t remember them from the manga and I’ve already written most of the post, so…


Wall Flower

The best I can give her is 5 points for the sideboob. But as far as character goes, she’s just Asuna with a wash-erase face.


Yeah I went there. Gotta have pretty shit taste to be into mannequins.



Eina Syr

It’s kind of a spoiler, but these are the same character. Sorry to you weirdos who actually care about plot twists. It’s the journey you should care about, not the destination!


A and B

[HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 02 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.16_[2015.04.11_20.22.01] [HorribleSubs] DanMachi - 02 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.03_[2015.04.11_20.30.40]

Okay, they’re cute, but whatever. I’m losing my muse here. The real goddess we’re all here for is…




Loki is just.

Doki Doki Loki
Just perfect.

This onee-san’s basically Ned Stark in a bundle of pure cuddle. It doesn’t matter whether it’s her own crew or someone else — the verdict is fair.

But what puts her above Ned is that while he’s willing to get his hands dirty, she’s way too fucking lazy for that shit. And can you think of a better aphrodisiac than apathy? I mean, I could, but that sounds like effort.

What must be done is done.
What must be done is done. …by someone else.


She has the strongest head game

Heads and butts

She’ll take on anyone.


Her top-tier outfit choice comes naturally

Loki I swear to god if you get any more perfect it will break reality

Ask Rekyu — she wears the same pants I do.


Pettan Pettan Tsurupettan~

Normally I’m inclined to say the bigger the better, but that’s just because I value laziness, and if you can breast your way to success, that’s great.


But I’m gonna take one from the pedos’ book here and say the flatter the chest, the closer to a girl’s heart. And not just cuz it fits my agenda.

Flatacular more like

…but it does fit my agenda.


Then there’s this

Perfection in Lokimated form

Are you even kidding me right now? Yes. Hashtag yes, even.





Drink drank drunk

It’s only 10:00, and I just downed a couple more shots and a Monster. Celebrate best girl with more of my literary brilliance tonight. There’s no one better than me, and you love me because I know it. Bottoms up, baby.

17 thoughts on “What makes Loki so best girl?”

  1. Since apparently I need to clarify this due to a few counts of confusion already: no, Eina and Syr are not the same person. Nor would it even matter if they were, since they’re relatively irrelevant side characters. Some of y’all need to stop being so ruseable. :<

  2. It might be because I’ve had ten drinks with lunch and have since started my pre-中-post-dinner drinks, but this article really touched my heart, even if, or perhaps because, the show sucks and I’ve only seen one of the two episodes anyway.

  3. My money is on her being a trap. Remember that the mythological Loki turned into a woman from time to time?

    Also, she probably enjoys horse dick.

    • Actually. There’s no such record of Loki turning into a woman in the Poetic nor Prose Edda. The closest would be the stanza about the Jötunn Þökk in the Prose Edda book Gylfaginning, but even there the text states “En þess geta menn, at þar hafi verit Loki Laufeyjarson, er flest hefir illt gert með ásum.” which translates to something along the lines of the men deeming Þökk to be Loki but there’s no evidence. He did transform in a mare though, but that’s a different story :)

  4. Tumblr likes Hestia
    4chan loves Hestia
    Pixiv loves Hestia
    Twitter Loves Hestia
    2chan Loves Hestia

    EVERYONE loves Hestia. Never had there ever been a character to unite so many group who absolutely hate each other.

  5. >But I’m gonna take one from the pedos’ book here and say the flatter the chest, the closer to a girl’s heart.
    Damn D_S, your taste is getting better.


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