Essential 1.
Coconuts’s pal, Tou, calls him up to try and entice him into hanging out over summer break.
Commie :: Hey, having fun drawing comics? JK, I know you’ve got writer’s block.
Doki-Chihiro :: Yo, hanging in there with that manga of yours?
I bet you’re drawing a blank.
Funimation :: Hey, how’s it going? Having fun drawing manga?
I bet you’re hitting a brick wall, right?
Mori :: Hey, you drawing that manga of yours?
You’re almost done, right?
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 2.
Overwrought exposition informs us that Coconuts-kun’s dad wants him to run their sweet shop/dagashi kashi/candy shop/candy store/whatever the fuck. (Funimation completely blew this line but I’ll get into that when I review their episode 2.)
Commie :: That’s not your decision!
I want to be a comic artist!
And stop trying to be cool, calling me your “heir”.
You own a simple candy shop!
Doki-Chihiro :: Don’t go deciding that on your own!
I’m going to be a manga artist!
You make succeding the family business sound so cool,
but all we do is run a sweet shop!
Funimation :: My future isn’t for you to decide! I’m gonna be a manga artist!
And you’re making it sound cool by using the word “successor,”
but our shop is just a small shop that sells {\i1}dagashi{\i0} snacks!
Mori :: You don’t get to decide that for me!
I’m going to become a mangaka!
You’re saying all this cool stuff about me being the heir, but we’re…
…just a candy shop!
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 3.
You know, like those Scooby Doo or Super Mario fruit snacks, or that awesome sauce Pokemon mac ‘n cheese, or… Okay, you probably didn’t need an explanation for this one, but I couldn’t stop my nostalgia.
Commie :: And you should stock character goods from a popular show.
They’re expensive, but they’ll sell.
Doki-Chihiro :: Also, try to get some popular character-themed sweets.
They’re more expensive, but they sell more.
Funimation :: And you should sell {\i1}dagashi{\i0} with popular characters, too.
They’re more expensive, but they sell well.
Mori :: And you should consider stocking some of the popular character candy.
They’re a bit pricey, but they sell!
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 4.
Hotaru has posed a challenge to Coconuts to find a combination of Umaibo flavors that’d satisfy her presumably yeasty vagina. (I still would, ofc.)
Commie :: Okay, uh…
Cheese and octopus fritters to make cheese octopus fritters?
>Not bad, but lacking impact.
Doki-Chihiro :: Hm, well…
How about cheese and takoyaki, to make Cheese Takoyaki?
>Not bad, but it doesn’t have enough punch to it.
Funimation :: Well then, how about…
…combining cheese and octopus dumpling flavors
to make “cheese-octopus dumpling” flavor?
>It’s not bad, but it lacks punch.
Mori :: Let’s see…
How about combining the cheese and takoyaki flavours?
>Not bad, but it lacks a punch.
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 5.
There’s a lengthier joke around this, but this part of it’s pretty self-contained.
Commie :: I’d feel so much better if you were dating her.
>Wh-What are you talking about?
>Off his rocker, isn’t he?
Doki-Chihiro :: If you two were dating, I’d be able to spend my retirement in peace.
>S-Stop joking around, Dad.
>Right, Shidare-san?
Funimation :: If you were going out with Kokonotsu, our family business would be secured.
>Wh-What’re you saying, Dad?
>Right, Miss Shidare?
Mori :: If you were dating Kokonotsu, our future would’ve been secured.
>Wh-What are you talking about, Dad?
>Right, Shidare-san?
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 6.
Tou stirring the pot like he’s waiting for Hansel and Gretel.
Commie :: You got the hots for her or something?
>What are you talking about? I mean, she’s really weird, so…
Doki-Chihiro :: Could it be that… you’re interested in her?
>Interested…? Well, she’s a really strange person, so…
Funimation :: Could it be that you’re quite curious about her?
>It’s not that I’m curious, so much as that she’s very strange.
Mori :: Could it be that you’re into her?
>Into her? Well, she’s a really odd person, so…
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 7.
Saya likes Coco, Coco doesn’t know… So for the sake of the plot, don’t tell Coco cuz Coco doesn’t know.
Commie :: Yeah, sure, Coconuts is denser than a coconut and shit.
But you? You’re a bigger frickin’ dumbass than he is!
Doki-Chihiro :: It’s to be expected that {\i1}Coconut{\i0} hasn’t noticed,
but you’re a super ultra moron in your own right!
Funimation :: Coconuts is so thick-headed for not noticing it,
but you’re super, ultra stupid, too.
Mori :: Well, Coconuts sure is a coconut for not realising it,
but you’re also one hell of a super ultra idiot!
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 8.
By the way, whatever you’ve been told about sugar giving you energy is complete bullshit. There’s a reason why fat kids aren’t track stars.
Commie :: Some sugar healing for my brain after all that thinking.
Doki-Chihiro :: My brain is burnt out from today, so I’m replenishing my sugar levels!
Funimation :: They can replenish sugar when your brain is overworked!
Mori :: A replenishment of sugar for an overworked brain!
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Essential 9.
Dragon Quest III was even worse than Force Awakens. Fight me.
Commie :: The noble monkey king has instructed me to search this land for the Legend that slumbers within.
Doki-Chihiro :: Under the orders of a noble lord, I’ve come to this land in search of the legend who lives here.
Funimation :: Under the orders of someone high-ranking,
I came to search for a legend that dwells in this land.
Mori :: At the behest of a certain noble,
I have come here in search of a living legend.
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Expanded 1.
An untelevised revelation.
Commie :: That’s right, the famous snack company, Shidare Co.!
I cannot hide it! My father is the owner!
And one day, I’ll turn it into the world’s top snack manufacturer!
>That’s our TV, isn’t it?
Doki-Chihiro :: That’s right.
As you know, it’s the name of the sweets manufacturer, Shidare Company!
It’s my father’s company, to be frank with you.
And someday, I, Shidare Hotaru, will open the world’s finest sweets manufacturer–!
>That’s our TV, right?
Funimation :: That’s right. Shidare Company, the famous snack manufacturer!
As a matter of fact, it’s my father’s company!
And some day, I, Hotaru Shidare,
will make it the world’s number-one snack manufactu– Oops.
>That’s our TV, right?
Mori :: That’s right! The candy manufacturer I’m sure you’re familiar with, the Shidare company!
I’ll come right out, it’s my father’s company!
And I, Shidare Hotaru, will turn the company into the world’s top candy manufacturer…!
>That’s {\i1}our{\i0} TV, isn’t it?
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Expanded 2.
A high-stakes challenge.
Commie :: So I wanna see what combos you can think of.
In other words, I want you to create amazing combos and try to satisfy me!
>She’s acting like the last boss in some game.
Doki-Chihiro :: And so, I want to know what kind of combinations you can think of.
In other words, satisfy me with the best combination you can think of.
>She sounds like the final boss in a video game.
Funimation :: So I wanna hear the combinations you can come up with.
>Oh…
In other words, come up with the best combination and make me satisfied!
>Boy, she’s talking like the final boss in a video game.
Mori :: I’d like to see what combinations you can come up with.
>Right…
Now, come at me with the ultimate combination and satisfy me!
>Sounds like a line the final boss in a game would say.
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Expanded 3.
An unfortunate attraction.
Commie :: I…
I’m in love with…
>H-Hotaru?
Yes, I’m in love…
…with Pochi!
He’s totally my type!
>>Oh my, you cougar!
>>What a surprise!
Isn’t he just adorbs?
With that sailor uniform and tongue sticking out!
Doki-Chihiro :: The one I’ve fallen for…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right.
It’s Pocchi-kun.
He’s just my type of guy!
>>Eh? Him?
>>I never would have guessed!
Isn’t he just too cute?!
His smile! And the way he sticks his tongue out!
Funimation :: The one… I’m in love with is…
>H-Hotaru?
That’s right. Pocchi is my type… big time.
>>What? That’s your type? I didn’t expect that.
His sailor suit and the way he sticks his tongue out are super cute, right?!
Mori :: The person…
The person I like, is…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right, I think that…
…Pocchi-kun is just {\i1}so{\i0} my type!
>>No way! You’re on {\i1}that{\i0} team?
>>How unexpected!
But he’s so cute!
With that sailor outfit, and his poses!
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Expanded 4.
A total rejection.
Commie :: I was raised in this candy shop.
It is my life.
So until Kokonotsu accepts his role as the ninth owner…
I… I…
>I told you I wasn’t about that life.
Doki-Chihiro :: I was raised here, at the Shikada Sweet Shop.
This shop is my life.
Until Kokonotsu takes over as the ninth family head,
I… I…
>I told you: I’m not taking over.
Funimation :: I grew up here at Shikada Dagashi.
This shop is my life itself.
Until Kokonotsu becomes its ninth owner, I can’t… I can’t…
>I did tell you I’m not doing that, right?
Mori :: I was raised here in this Shikada Candy Shop.
This shop is my life.
And with Kokonotsu succeeding as the ninth generation head,
I… I…!
>Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to?
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Expanded 5.
An astute observation.
Commie :: Not every day someone comes out here all the way from the city.
>No kidding.
Doki-Chihiro :: That’s pretty rare. People don’t usually bother to come out here.
>That’s for sure.
Funimation :: It’s rare to see… an outsider visiting this remote town, isn’t it?
>Yep, yep.
Mori :: That’s pretty unusual.
For someone to come all the way out to this little town.
>Sure is.
N/A :: N/A. They all suck.
Plz Commie, even Funimation knows to leave ‘manga’ untranslated.
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 3 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 1 time
Welp.
Overall scores…
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 5 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 4 times
Watched with Funi first.
Overall scores…
Commie: 10 times
Doki-Chihiro: 1 time
Funimation: 2 times
Mori: 2 times
Looks like your worst bet is Commie
:^)
Hope Commie-senpai notices me today, I tried really hard to pick just their awesome dialogue. <3
Commie: 1 times
Doki-Chihiro: 6 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 7 time
Looks like your best bet is Mori
fuck funi
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 1 time
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 5 times
Looks like your best bet is Mori
fuck mori too tbh
Commie: 9 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 0 times
Kinda surprised that I voted 4 times for Doki-Chihiro since their release felt pretty dull while watching.
Commie: 5 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 2 times
Mori: 5 times
Though to of fair there were a lot of ones where they were all kinda bad, but one was significantly less bad than the others.
The commie lines are so over the top, if this isn’t trolling nothing is.
Commie: 4 times
Doki-Chihiro: 3 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 3 times
… welp.
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 3 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 6 times
Looks like your best bet is Mori
I’m looking forward to the eventual reviews.
Overall scores…
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 3 times
Funimation: 2 times
Mori: 1 time
Commie: 2 times
Doki-Chihiro: 5 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 9 times
Looks like your best bet is Mori
great, im already watching Mori anyway
Overall scores…
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 5 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 3 times
Looks like your best bet is Doki-Chihiro
Dagashi as candy? Really?
Welp…
Overall scores…
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 5 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 6 times
Looks like your best bet is Mori
Well this was unexpected.
Overall scores…
Commie: 6 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 3 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie
Watched Commie’s version for episode 1. Was sticking to them despite the results here anyway. Each release had its own share of problems, but Commie’s was better tbh.
Overall scores…
Commie: 4 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 3 times
It’s a tie between Commie and Doki-Chihiro
All the groups have big problems with editing, though. Geez, how far have standards fallen? Commie butcher lines with their commitment to the idea that every character in every anime has to sound like the badass 15-year-old that they wish they had been. Conversely, the other two groups’ lines at times come off as stilted and suffer from English problems.
Commie was never going to be good for the reason you stated.
Mori was also never going to be good, because IIRC the group solely consists of one guy who’s only ever done anime shorts (which I only ever rated as “passable”).
Doki-Chihiro had a chance to be good, but apparently they’ve never had a staff channel, and instead decided to have all their script discussions inside the fucking script itself. Also, they forgot what spellcheck was.
Funimation similarly had a chance to be (relatively) good, but so much of the script was confusing and blatantly wrong that they must’ve just had someone do a one-pass translate, offshored it to some Fillipino editing service, and then called it good enough till the blu-rays.
>offshored it to some Fillipino editing service
Whoa, man, I’m half-flip :[.
I believe the point still stands.
Whoops did I say that out loud?
No real harm meant, Fillipinos <3.
I'll be up round Vancouver in two weeks. Lemme buy you a drink to make up for it if you're in driving distance~
Oh right, I moved back to my hometown lol. Decided I wanted to change my courses, so I’m no longer in Vancouver. Won’t be back there for a while until I finish some courses here at home so I can go back.
Also, what’s the next closest con you’re going to?
Dammit, Solar.
Well, okay. Next con is Sakuracon. In addition to hosting the best con ever, and being close to y’all Western Canucks, Seattle has the finest delicacy known to man: Chipotle. Well worth the trip just for that.
Chipotle now with 50% more e-coli, to help you stay thin.
Eh, I’m always down for a diet shakeup. The bulimia’s been fucking with my teeth anyway.
> split half between doki-chihiro and commie
> scroll down and see mori winning by a landslide
sasuga shit tastes
I agree with Hairy, though. Commie’s lines are overedited and everyone else’s lines are underedited. Doki-Chihiro comes sort of close, but Mori and Funi are just terrible.
I can confirm that konosweets will be continuing this show. Episode 2 will be up momentarily.
no [konosweets], they`re, like, a known group in a different name, you know?
>6-group TL Parties get a bit unwieldy, so I cut it off at 4. ADZ’s dialogue is heavily based off Funi (boring for comparisons), and konosweets seems like a one-off anonymous release group, so fuck ’em too.
I`m just saying konosweets isn`t an one-off anonymous group.
(spoiler: it’s ddy)
Don’t lie. They are in DDY and decided on their own. Some of them are in more than on group.(of course)
lotusgg: no [konosweets], they`re, like, a known group in a different name – ts,ts,ts… More like members from many groups united under one tag name.
k den
I hope you’re not encoding it, since you still suck. You and your brazilian encoding service.
hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue hue
Yes. It was supposed to just be a small side project, but more people decided to work on it so they are actually trying to do it right.
Sounds good to me.
Overall scores…
Commie: i love herkz.
Doki-Chihiro: i love herkz.
Funimation: i love herkz.
Mori: i love herkz.
Overall scores…
Commie: 0 times
Doki-Chihiro: 6 times
Funimation: 2 times
Mori: 5 times
FUG GUESS I WAS WRONG ALL THESE YEARS, I WAS ALWAYS WATCHING COMMIE DAMMIT, GODDAMN COMMIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY YOU TRANSLATE THIS LITERAL, I MEAN MANGA > COMIC ? MANGAKA > COMIC ARTIST ? DAFUQ PLEASE TRY TO KEEP SOME WORDS FOR GOD SAKE MAN
P.S still not sure how did i pick 2 translations for Funimation yet ayy :^)
This was the most reluctant comment approval I’ve ever done.
fuck, beaten
Neck yourself, weeblord.
Inb4 “dagashiya”
Oh wait, too late, Funi already beat me to it
Commie: 4 times
Doki-Chihiro: 6 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 4 times
Looks like your best bet is Doki-Chihiro
But which group had the best typesetting though?
“I may want to kill myself while reading the subs but at least I’ll be able to know what’s written in candy wrappers, which I actually give no shits about!”
the crymore way is that, but applied to english grammar
Funimation.
konosweets has the best typesets. But in terms of the poll options, probably doki, but i wasn’t overly impressed with either doki or commie.
Mori and Funi don’t typeset.
For question 2 you chose Mori
For question 3 you chose Mori
For question 4 you chose Mori
For question 5 you chose Mori
For question 6 you chose Mori
For question 7 you chose Doki-Chihiro
For question 8 you chose Doki-Chihiro
For question 9 you chose Mori
For question 10 you chose Mori
Overall scores…
Commie: 0 times
Doki-Chihiro: 2 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 7 times
Looks like your best bet is Mori
Yup.
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 9 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 6 times
Looks like your best bet is Doki-Chihiro
Doki/Chihiro was perfect 9/9.
That single Commie line was #3, their least localized entry.
eww @ localized subs, seriously.
Commie blue when?
Overall scores…
Commie: 2 times
Doki-Chihiro: 2 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 8 times
Mori please don’t drop it
Commie: 1 time
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 1 time
N/A: 3
Meh, they all suck. Doki-Chihiro is a bit of a good surprise though.
Overall scores…
Commie: 2 times
Doki-Chihiro: 5 times
Funimation: 2 times
Mori: 5 times
It’s a tie between Doki-Chihiro and Mori
That’s about what I thought going into the translation party, too. Doki-Chihiro has typesetting, so I prefer it over Mori, but they also are taking weeks and weeks to release each episode, so we’ll see.
>”Hey, having fun drawing comics? JK, I know you’ve got writer’s block.”
Do Americans actually say “Jay-Kay” like that out loud now?
Yeah, but sometimes it gets too cumbersome and we shorten it to “jakes”.
Overall scores…
Commie: 11 times
Doki-Chihiro: 1 time
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 1 time
Looks like your best bet is Commie
Well that’s surprising, not like I’m watching this show anyway, just want more doujins.
Overall scores…
Commie: 2 times
Doki-Chihiro: 6 times
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 3 times
Looks like your best bet is Doki-Chihiro
Commie: 7 times
Doki-Chihiro: 1 time
Funimation: 3 times
Mori: 2 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie
Overall scores…
Commie: 0 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 1 time
Mori: 4 times
It’s a tie between Doki-Chihiro and Mori
OMG Commie’s phrases sounds like sh*t for dumb hambureger teenagers. Worst subs, always.
I’m watching with Mori, but Doki’s subs are good too.
Essential Overall scores…
Commie: 3 times
Doki-Chihiro: 3 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 3 times
Extended Overall scores…
Commie: 5 times
Doki-Chihiro: 4 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 4 times
Looks like your best bet is Commie
If you took the parts that were good from each and removed Commie’s extreme tryhard-isms, you’d almost have something resembling a solid release. Almost. Thankfully I didn’t plan on watching this, because none of these releases seem good enough on their own to be worth watching.
Commie: 5 times
Doki-Chihiro: 2 times
Funimation: 4 times
Mori: 2 times
^ Number of lines that would make me regret downloading.
Overall scores…
Commie: 7 times
Doki-Chihiro: 0 times
Funimation: 0 times
Mori: 1 time
Looks like your best bet is Commie
Commit Communism. Quite expected, as I only watch Commie releases. The lines look bad enough from either group, so I’d rather skip this one.