Fansub Review: [UTW-Mazui] Steins;Gate
B-Tier, Fansub Review — By Dark_Sage on April 4, 2011 9:42 pm
This is a combination of groups that was supposed to make me cream my pants. “Dark_Sage OMG these guys are so good they are perfect you are so shit compared to them!” is something I hear often when I tell people I don’t find either group to be the greatest thing in the world. Ah, the problems I face for not being retarded.
As a little treat for you all, I’m going to go a bit more in-depth with my analyses on this review. Let me show you how a real editor handles this shit.
Ah yes, before I begin, I should note that kyonyUU has a good amount of respect for the translation work that UTW and Mazui do. I have no respect for anyone though, so please forgive me for any irreverance I display~
These need to be combined in some fashion. Based on the style of timing that Mazui used for this episode, the logical breakdown would be:
Line1: The universe has a beginning,
Line2: but no end.
The reason it needs to be combined is because:
A. “But no end.” is not a sentence in and of itself.
B. Having it stand apart from the previous line does not result in a better narrative.
That last part is what distinguishes this line in particular from other parts of the episode. (“Infinite.” and “Finite.” are displayed as sentences, but even though this is not technically correct, it leads to a better narrative.)
This is needlessly wordy. True, this is technically a sentence. And yes, it technically makes sense. But editing is about script improvement, not “legible enough” sentences.
There is no reason why the line shouldn’t read “Those who possess wisdom are the greatest fools.” It is more concise and reads better as a result. Additionally, as my friends at Commie delighted in pointing out to me last season, a good rule of thumb is to avoid mindless repetition. In this case, “who” is overused.
Again, this is needlessly wordy. Unfortunately, we can’t rely on the mindless repetition rule, but as I fix the sentence, I hope the problem becomes more clear.
“You could say this is God’s final warning to those who resist.”
Consistent, much? I don’t have to explain why consistency is important, do I?
Oh, hey more consistency issues. But wait, there’s one more thing you should note.
The conference will begin on the 8th floor hall? Funny, I didn’t think conferences began on halls.
“Dr. Nakabachi’s conference will now begin on the eighth floor.”
Ignoring the most obvious one for now, “discussions from a plethora of different angles” is really, really loquacious (I had to use a thesaurus for this one). What do we call discussions made from different angles? Oh, yeah! We call them arguments or debates.
Okay, okay. Now let me hit you with it. “basics structure”? The hell were they thinking? And no, this wasn’t an isolated incident in the script.
“There have been many debates over what its structure should be.”
“The basic structure of a time machine…”
Okay, I can see why the editor didn’t want to go with the tried and true “impudent fool”, but rogue really doesn’t seem like the best choice here. “Cad” has a lot of the same feel that the editor was going for here. But if all bets are off, I could see “buffoon” or any number of different insults being acceptable. But rogue? Come now.
“Impudent buffoon, of course I know that!”
One of the jobs of the editor is to make text readable in the timeframe provided by the voices of the characters. Even though this line was short, it was too long to read in the amount of time it was provided by the show. My suggestion reduces the total words from six to four, making it far easier to read quickly.
“They’re the only members.”
I’m gonna get a lot of heat for calling this an error, but fuck it. I’ll do it anyway so that people eventually get it through their thick skulls. In editing for American English (which I am assuming is how UTW-Mazui edits), “toward” is supposed to be use instead of “towards”. {Yes, I know American English calls for all punctuation to be put inside quotation marks, but fuck you, I have my reasons for doing it this way.}
Aww yeah, repetition rule again! Thanks again to Commie for being gigantic dickwads to me about this before. Now I can pay it forward.
“Are the 2-D girls that Daru-kun enjoys also like that?”
Damage.
“You’ve caused enough damage already!”
No, my friends. “Nevermind” is indeed a word, but it is not used in that context. Try out “never mind” instead. But even then, I prefer “don’t mind”. It’s a lot more natural and in-tune with what people actually say. “Don’t sweat the small stuff” would also work nicely.
“Don’t mind the details.”
Unless the concept of credits is different in Japan, this isn’t how college works.
You can have required classes, true, but all classes are for credits, making this sentence retarded as fuck.
“If it wasn’t a required class, I wouldn’t go.”
I’ll allow you guys to spot the problem with this one. Also, sorry. My .gif skills suck. You’ll have to click on the picture to make it go. >_O
Overall grade: B-
Best group combination, my ass. But they’re still decent enough.
Tags: Fansub Review, Spring 2011, Steins;Gate, UTW-Mazui
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