Fansub Review: [Hadena] Tasogare Otome x Amnesia (Episode 04)

F-Tier, Fansub Review — By on May 27, 2012 3:52 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Dammit, Hadena, and I had such high hopes for you.

Release format: MKV (285 MB, 10-bit), MKV (306 MB, 8-bit), LQ MKV (194 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: Honorifics.

English style: American English.

Group website: http://hadena-subs.com/

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/t5XeFG9i

8thsin’s translation critique: http://8ths.in/spring-2012-fansub-comparison-reviews#Tasogare

Ji-hi’s screenshot comparisons: N/A

Note: OP/ED are hardsubbed.

 

Table of Contents

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Timing

Results

Visual Quality

Karaoke.

Opening. Oh god, what the hell? Why would you go with blue here?!

The k-timing makes the karaoke look stupid because the syllables jerk around like someone with Parkinson’s, and the lines flow into each other like a car crash. Bad, bad, bad.

Ending. The Japanese text is impossible to read. I liked the butterflies, but when I can’t read the Japanese, it’s kind of pointless to k-time it with fabulous effects.

 

Typesetting.

The “Dusk maiden of Amnesia” part was done by the animators. Hadena only added their logo here.

lol, sponsor screen.

They also have this at the end of the episode, albeit without the credits.

Come on. Would this have been that hard to do?

Script Quality

Karaoke.

Gibberish. Here are some of the worst lines from their OP/ED.

Even if you grieve, the dream will not sing.

I screamed here, “who have the answer?”

If the miracle point to present.

The moment of smile

None of them make sense. :(

 

Main Script.

“I think it’s nicer to have a slender figure like yours.”

When two people are speaking to each other, they don’t tend to refer to the other in the third-person. This exchange would never happen.

chest. “In return, you can touch my chest.”

So did I, but they’re talking about a ghost here, so…

“It also came yesterday, and the day before that.”

I fucking hate this. Editors, please check to make sure a line makes sense before you throw ‘ve around like you’re playing shotput with a baby.

“Err… umm… by the way, I bought a new swimsuit.”

Like, I don’t like it when it’s like this like bad like you know?

“I didn’t think you’d be interested in a training camp.”

“It appeared in the old school building at dusk.”

“But that’s the impression that I get.”

“Well, I suppose I got the wrong impression.”

Your sloppy tense use is clearly self-taut.

“When you came back, all you did was play with other girls.”

That’s reassuring.

I can’t believe it’s not English!

“It’s not just the three of us?!”

Long time ago, Sage give advice: “Don’t write off suicide just yet. I’m sure you can succeed at that if nothing else.”

“A long time ago, someone let me use this room.”

You can’t fucking knock a door. You can knock on a door, you can knock a door knocker, and I can knock up your slutty sister, but you can’t knock a fucking door.

“After all, they couldn’t see anyone outside.”

She can’t sleep, but he can. “accompany” means “to join someone” in this context, so we’re clearly at a crossroads. And I think I know just who to strap in the middle.

“I can’t sleep, but I can stay by your side.” or something. I dunno, I probably fucked up the translation somehow.

“My boobs won’t grow bigger just by thinking about it.”

The “it” is important because it changes the meaning of the sentence from “Just by thinking (in general, as in about anything), my boobs won’t grow bigger.” to “I must, I must, I must increase my bust. But wishful thinking won’t help.”

Pray tell, how does one write in a stone? Do they cut it open, scribble something on one of the halves and then sew the rock back up? The word you are looking for here is “on”. “on” as in “This swimsuit episode turned me on until I started paying attention to your subs. Then I went limper than an art student’s wrist.”

“We can only go in through the window.”

She’d only say “come” if they were already at their destination, but you’d use “go” here because they’re going to it.

You don’t have a grudge on people. You have a grudge against them.

What in the name of all that is kawaii am I looking at?

“Because fuck periods, we’re Hadena!”

Beautiful work indeed, Hadena.

 

Timing Review

Incoming. When “Timing Critique” is added as a category, you’ll know this part is done.

Results.

Watchability: Not really watchable. Avoid if possible.

Timing Grade:

Visual grade: C-

Script grade: F

Overall grade (timing results not factored in): Fp>

I had 40 screenshots of shit English in this release that I had to pare down to ~20 for the sake of brevity. Hadena managed to avoid some of the errors that made their group so infamous, but just because a script was spell-checked does not mean it’s a good script. The English is frustratingly bad and the visuals aren’t very impressive.

I’m not going to say this release is unwatchable, but I will say that you shouldn’t watch it.

Grade:
Show:
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34 Comments

daniel says:

Are you going to be able review Commie and UTE and Underwater tonight

Dark_Sage says:

Mm, I think I can manage that.

John titor says:

Whatever happened to finishing the Accel World reviews. Dark Sage

Dark_Sage says:

Review order is now mostly determined by the poll. Tasogare is #1 right now, so I’m going to focus on Tasogare reviews. Accel World is in second place, so I’ll do it after I finish up with Taso.

Dark_Sage says:

I lied. /sleep

Xythar says:

I saw that coming :P

See you next weekend?

Dark_Sage says:

It’s a date!

Marow says:

If I knew Japanese, I would do the best translation ever of an episode just for you, Sage.

Yakimeshi says:

>Editors, please check to make a sure line makes sense

I think you flipped your words there. It probably should be “Editors, please check to make sure a line makes sense”.

FalseDawn says:

Irony?

Dark_Sage says:

Egg, meet face. I mean, heh, I put typos in my reviews as Easter eggs. Congrats on finding one. You win a virtual high-five.

Dragon says:

Okay lemme go and fire that editor then…
By the way, Dark_Sage, the other episodes were edited by different editors [Sket] like episode 1,2,3…etc

Xythar says:

Based on comparing the scripts from the different episodes of Kore wa Zombie, you should probably just have Sket edit everything.

The bigger problem though is that you don’t seem to have any way of knowing if an episode is edited well or not until someone reviews it, which makes it hard to keep your consistency up.

Dragon says:

Yeah.. I guess I will do that seen the others can’t do a good job.

kyonyUU says:

where are your numbers?

Dragon says:

Left it at home…

Dragon says:

And I forgot to say, thanks Dark_Sage for the review… I’ll try to get the corrections done, pass your notes to the staff.

Red says:

“It appeared in the old school building during dusk.” -> “It appeared in the old school building at dusk.”

“But that’s the impression that I got.” -> “But that’s the impression I got.”

Just throwing these out there.

Xythar says:

Second line should be “Never had to knock on wood, but I know someone who has”

Dark_Sage says:

Excellent suggestions.

The second one was blatant MMB referencing more than anything, but I suppose I should stick to better English over ska. Unfortunate.

Ack says:

> chest. “In return, you can touch my chest.”

Why is that an error?
I mean she might say “chest”, but she obviously means “If you let me touch your waist (or whatever, don´t remember exactly what it was) I´ll let you touch my breasts.”

So aside from the word they chose being somewhat formal, shouldn´t the sentence pass?

Dark_Sage says:

Are you asking why “bust” is a bad word to use there? It’s because nobody would use that term in this context. It’s not actually a synonym for breasts here. Rather, the term refers to the breasts and upper chest area.

Wiktionary is an excellent resource for English words that goes more into how people actually use words in common speech and it does a much better job of this than the dictionary sites do.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bust

FalseDawn says:

And how do you know she’s not talking about the bust of Julius Caeser (or maybe some other historical figure) that she happens to have at home, hm?

efiji says:

That was a bad example. You know she isn’t because I don’t understand why anyone would be embarrassed to touch a bust of Julius Caesar. This example is basically saying that any word can throw someone off track. “Chest” can also be considered as a container. How would “you” know? Well… I don’t know.

But yes, “chest” is much better.

Dark_Sage says:

He was being sarcastic.

FalseDawn says:

I’d be very embarrassed if I was caught fingering a bust of Julius Caesar…

Ack says:

Yes and no, I was actually wondering whether you only had a problem with the word “bust” in particular or the fact that they used a word other than chest.

JackRav says:

I lol’ed at ‘self-taut’.

Especially since the English language is pretty loosely used by Hadena at best.

no says:

No one cares about your opinions.

csb says:

And nobody does about yours.

lol@Hadena says:

Hadena is being shitty as usual, I see. I’m not a native speaker myself, so prepositions tend to baffle me at times and all, and even I can easily detect some of their fails at them. Clearly their editors aren’t native speakers either… or they forgot the whole “going to school” part of their lives.

On a subject change, Dark_Sage, your brand of humor is awesome. I laughed hard at “taut” and at the idea of what “writing in a stone” would be. Keep at it, man!

Still, I can’t believe you didn’t see (or forgot to mention, maybe?) that, on that “knock the door” pic, the construction “the door” was used twice in the same phrase. Reason would require them to replace its second instance with “it”. After all, repeating the same construction in a phrase without any care makes the construction heavy and tiring. The user of the construction ends up seeming just silly for using the same construction over and over without thinking whether he should be still using that construction. (And of course, I did this intentionally.)

lol@Hadena says:

Eh, lack of proofreading…

“the construction heavy and tiring” -> “the construction become heavy and tiring”
“be still” -> “still be”

/a/utism squad says:

Things can be written in stone, just like the phrase.

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