Fansub Review: [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Episode 01)

C-Tier, Fansub Review — By on January 3, 2013 1:37 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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And here we are with Commie’s release. I heard the TL was supposed to be amazing, so let’s see how great this release actually is.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (264 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/635qupny

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

 

External links.

Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

IRC channel: #commie-subs@irc.rizon.net

SubCompare screenshot comparisons: N/A

Commie’s fansub reviews: N/A.

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_03.20_[2013.01.01_19.11.28]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_03.52_[2013.01.01_19.10.25]

Opening. Cute. The colors change when necessary and the font is generally a good match.

Rating: Okay+.

 

 

Typesetting.

You know the drill. Tons of signs in the spoiler if you wanna see them.

Spoiler:

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.01_[2013.01.01_17.36.48] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.02_[2013.01.01_17.37.05] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.05_[2013.01.01_17.37.18] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.06_[2013.01.01_17.37.34] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.06_[2013.01.01_17.37.39] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.07_[2013.01.01_17.37.24] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.09_[2013.01.01_17.37.51] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.12_[2013.01.01_17.38.03] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.13_[2013.01.01_17.38.32] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.15_[2013.01.01_17.40.07] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.18_[2013.01.01_17.40.21] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.23_[2013.01.01_17.47.48] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.23_[2013.01.01_17.47.58] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.26_[2013.01.01_17.49.31] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.26_[2013.01.01_17.49.41] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.28_[2013.01.01_17.49.50] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.32_[2013.01.01_17.50.27] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.33_[2013.01.01_17.50.48] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.33_[2013.01.01_17.50.56] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.34_[2013.01.01_17.50.33] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.34_[2013.01.01_17.51.03] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.35_[2013.01.01_17.51.23] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.35_[2013.01.01_17.51.44] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.36_[2013.01.01_17.51.50] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.38_[2013.01.01_17.51.59] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.39_[2013.01.01_17.52.24] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.42_[2013.01.01_17.52.31] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.51_[2013.01.01_17.52.47] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.56_[2013.01.01_17.53.13] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.00_[2013.01.01_17.53.21] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.02_[2013.01.01_17.53.27] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.06_[2013.01.01_17.53.41] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.07_[2013.01.01_17.53.48] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.07_[2013.01.01_17.53.52] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.10_[2013.01.01_17.54.06] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.14_[2013.01.01_17.54.13] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.15_[2013.01.01_17.54.19] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.19_[2013.01.01_17.54.30] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.22_[2013.01.01_17.54.38] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.22_[2013.01.01_17.55.00] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.28_[2013.01.01_17.55.18] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.45_[2013.01.01_17.56.32] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.54_[2013.01.01_18.01.46] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.55_[2013.01.01_18.01.28] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.55_[2013.01.01_18.02.14] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.57_[2013.01.01_18.02.20] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_02.11_[2013.01.01_18.02.59] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_02.54_[2013.01.01_18.57.36] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_04.31_[2013.01.01_19.24.08] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_04.34_[2013.01.01_19.24.21] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_04.34_[2013.01.01_19.24.33] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_05.08_[2013.01.01_19.26.44] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_05.36_[2013.01.01_19.27.51] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_05.52_[2013.01.01_19.28.14] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.10_[2013.01.01_19.28.40] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.36_[2013.01.01_19.29.45] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.46_[2013.01.01_19.30.10] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.46_[2013.01.01_19.30.17] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.52_[2013.01.01_19.30.38] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.54_[2013.01.01_19.34.50] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.56_[2013.01.01_19.35.10] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_07.05_[2013.01.01_19.36.06] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.14_[2013.01.01_19.38.30] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.30_[2013.01.01_19.49.46] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.32_[2013.01.01_19.49.51] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.33_[2013.01.01_19.49.57] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.52_[2013.01.01_19.50.40] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_10.15_[2013.01.01_19.51.15] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_10.20_[2013.01.01_19.51.27] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_10.32_[2013.01.01_19.51.53] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_10.53_[2013.01.01_19.52.32] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.19_[2013.01.01_19.53.09] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.42_[2013.01.01_19.55.25] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.44_[2013.01.01_19.55.54] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.53_[2013.01.01_19.56.48] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.55_[2013.01.01_19.57.52] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_13.39_[2013.01.01_20.07.19] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_14.06_[2013.01.01_20.08.51] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_14.42_[2013.01.01_20.13.56] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.15_[2013.01.01_20.14.56] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.54_[2013.01.01_20.20.56] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.57_[2013.01.01_20.21.21] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_17.27_[2013.01.01_20.22.18] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_17.33_[2013.01.01_20.22.51] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_17.45_[2013.01.01_20.23.29] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_21.35_[2013.01.01_20.41.04] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_22.55_[2013.01.01_20.46.04] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_22.57_[2013.01.01_20.46.11] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_23.00_[2013.01.01_20.46.53] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_24.48_[2013.01.01_20.49.56]

Dat ecchi~

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.42_[2013.01.01_19.55.33] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.43_[2013.01.01_19.55.40] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.46_[2013.01.01_19.56.02]   [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_11.50_[2013.01.01_19.56.34]  [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.21_[2013.01.01_20.15.07] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.23_[2013.01.01_20.15.14] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.24_[2013.01.01_20.15.20] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.43_[2013.01.01_20.19.32] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.43_[2013.01.01_20.19.37] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.47_[2013.01.01_20.19.52] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_17.47_[2013.01.01_20.23.36] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_24.17_[2013.01.01_20.48.52]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.55_[2013.01.01_17.53.05] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.04_[2013.01.01_17.53.33] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.08_[2013.01.01_17.53.58] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.30_[2013.01.01_19.29.34] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.54_[2013.01.01_19.34.41] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.55_[2013.01.01_19.34.58] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.23_[2013.01.01_19.44.28] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_10.29_[2013.01.01_19.51.44] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_12.06_[2013.01.01_19.58.44] [Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_14.09_[2013.01.01_20.12.53]

This is a fairly representative sample of the signs in this release. Of all the groups, Commie had the most signs typeset.

 

 

Other.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_17.45_[2013.01.01_20.23.21]

It’s not the greatest of encodes, no. Honestly, you should probably fire your encoder and have RHE do it instead. Why not use your best on a show like Neko?

 

Script Review

Main Script.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.03_[2013.01.01_17.37.12]

Commie’s typeset doesn’t match the script here, and this is a common issue in the release. You can play it off as a stylistic choice and swear that the mismatch was intentional. That I could buy… if you did it all the time.

Instead, it matched half the time and didn’t match the other half. The only consistency was the inconsistency.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.18_[2013.01.01_17.41.16]

Uhh, what? Do you know what “blood curl” means? It’s when you get so frightened your blood starts to coagulate (though not literally). The term is entirely associated with fear, not beauty.

If you were trying to intelligently get across a juxtaposition of fear and attraction, you utterly and completely failed. You should have been playing around with dual meanings in that case. “hellishly beautiful” is one that came to the top of my mind. And really, if you don’t know what the fuck an intensifier is, you should not be subbing this show.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_00.21_[2013.01.01_17.45.16]

What? “scars were shared”? Is this a documentary of Gibberishfest 2013 or something?

Edit: Apparently “scars” is a direct translation and refers back to Kizumonogatari. I still think it’s a stupid line, but I’ll give you that viewpoint.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.46_[2013.01.01_17.57.43]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.50_[2013.01.01_17.56.48]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_01.51_[2013.01.01_17.57.10]

“Of those nine golden days,”

would be a far better choice of words there. You know, to change it to something that makes sense.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_02.23_[2013.01.01_18.03.59]

Have you heard of matching your tenses? woke->wake OR go->went.

Also, “It’s unfathomable.”? Sure have issues representing character in your scripts, dontcha? Try “unforgivable”.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_02.37_[2013.01.01_18.05.34]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_02.41_[2013.01.01_18.54.34]

>translating “yandere” as “sadist”

Yeah, okay.

For those of you not wap enough to know what “yandere” means, it’s essentially a character type where the character is crazy with love for another, emphasis on the crazy. Yanderes will go to extreme lengths, often in the murder department, to get rid of anything that stands in between them and their target of affection. Sometimes this even means killing the target of affection and fucking the dead body. Yanderes gonna yandere.

Translating it as “sadist” completely removes the “insanity” piece. And it makes it out like yanderes get sexual gratification from hurting people. Which, as a whole, they don’t.

If you must translate it (and I think that’s a fucking stupid idea, but whatever), translate it properly. “so I wanted to try out being a psycho lover.” You can still play off that with “You forgot the ‘love’ part!”

Otherwise you’re just making shit up.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_04.42_[2013.01.01_19.25.20]

A veteran of love? Are you calling Tsukihi a slut, Commie?

Seriously poor choice of words there. Just use “and your friends likely ask you for advice about love because you have a boyfriend”. Or really, anything that gets away from using “veteran”.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_06.53_[2013.01.01_19.34.31]

A bit of, let’s say, a bit of repetition never hurt anybody!

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_07.48_[2013.01.01_19.37.56]

You should use en-dashes in place of the commas here because both “When” and “At what stage” are alternate beginnings for the sentence and commas don’t indicate this. But that’s not the biggest problem here. Keep reading. The following are all part of the same conversation:

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_07.56_[2013.01.01_19.39.07]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_07.59_[2013.01.01_19.39.14]

“Well, I did, somehow.” does NOT fucking answer the “When did you decide you were in love with him?” question. The question necessitates a when response, not a “Well, I did, somehow.” response.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.01_[2013.01.01_19.40.43]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.02_[2013.01.01_19.40.52]

This doesn’t follow. It doesn’t follow at-fucking-all.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.04_[2013.01.01_19.40.58]

No, it’s not!

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.05_[2013.01.01_19.41.03]

My brain completely shut down while trying to follow that conversation.

Commie, take note: your viewers’ brains should not shut down while watching your releases.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_08.27_[2013.01.01_19.44.49]

It honestly pains me to describe these errors because it means I have to admit that humans are capable of such atrocities against the English language.

Let’s take this apart.

I wondered if I loved him <- Fine.

if I felt I did <- No, and here’s why: This line is the same as “I wondered if I felt I loved him” because of its placement in that sentence’s list. And when you look at that line, it’s quite obvious it’s 100% wrong.

The third part — if I realized I did — is fine, because it translates as “I wondered if I realized I loved him”, which is English (though admittedly awkward, but if I pointed out all the awkward lines in this release we’d be here all day).

Honestly, I think a full re-write is necessary.

“I wondered about whether or not I loved him. And when I thought about it, I realized I did love him.” <- You could probably write this up with wordplay but I’m about five seconds away from pounding a nail into my skull to stop this splitting headache brought on by Commie’s release, so I’m not gonna go that route.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.01_[2013.01.01_19.45.43]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.05_[2013.01.01_19.46.06]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_09.10_[2013.01.01_19.46.20]

When the first time I’m impressed is 9 minutes in with what is likely a direct translation, that’s not exactly good.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_12.50_[2013.01.01_20.01.11]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_12.53_[2013.01.01_20.01.19]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_12.56_[2013.01.01_20.01.25]

A-tier script, Commie. You deserve a round of applause and perhaps a round of shots laced with cyanide.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_13.26_[2013.01.01_20.06.50]

That English-like sentence.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.00_[2013.01.01_20.14.23]

It’s actually “pent-up”, but I guess missing dashes are the least of your worries in this script.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_15.32_[2013.01.01_20.15.36]

Oh come the fuck on. Do they not teach kids what colons are in schools these days? Or do they leave that up to the kids’ drunk fathers?

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_16.39_[2013.01.01_20.18.55]

Comma abuse! Call the comma police!

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_18.37_[2013.01.01_20.26.11]

are

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_18.45_[2013.01.01_20.26.34]

There we go! Topical translations. I knew you could do it.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_18.49_[2013.01.01_20.26.52]

Oh Commie, this is one of the very, very, very, very few things I hate about you. Translating words said in English into different languages because… Well, I don’t think they have any decent reasons for it.

I get that you’re uncomfortable with English, but please try to bear with it. You’ll get the hang of the language in no time.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_19.04_[2013.01.01_20.34.51]

You might not have siblings, sure,

Please try to get the basics right.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_20.09_[2013.01.01_20.37.58]

This doesn’t say a damned thing and could be filler’d guesslation for all I know.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_19.45_[2013.01.01_20.37.21]

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_19.48_[2013.01.01_20.37.28]

Absolutely brilliant. Get whoever was in charge of these lines a gift certificate to their local asian massage parlor. They deserve to get off like I did when I read this.

This works perfectly at the start and then by the final screen takes the pun elevator up another ten levels.

[Commie] Nekomonogatari (Black) - 01 [1B0402DF].mkv_snapshot_22.22_[2013.01.01_20.45.03]

Extremely well placed for the mood/setting. This is one of the examples of occasional intelligence in the script. There were a few more, but they weren’t anything to write home about.

 

 

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: A+ (we’ll forget about the encode)

Script grade: D+ (D- when you factor in http://crymore.net/2013/01/03/fansub-review-addendum-commie-nekomonogatari-episode-01/)

Overall grade: C+ (original, canon), C- (after a second pass)

The visuals in Commie’s release put them quite a bit ahead of pem’s release. But the script was ultimately a miss in more ways than one. Stupid phrasing combined with a generally boring script is not what we should be subject to in a -monogatari release.
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65 Comments

herkz says:

Please stop suggesting changes that make the lines incorrect. It makes you look even more retarded!

Fyurie says:

I’d be inclined to agree if most of this script’s lines were even English to begin with. Just saying.

herkz says:

Unless I missed something, they are.

Dark_Sage says:

Luckily for you, I have an open review system. Choose the line you disagree with, attack my reasoning, and then we can have a discussion and (hopefully) come to a conclusion about it. That is, if you aren’t just talking out your ass like you always do with every review on here that you purportedly have legitimate issues with.

herkz says:

Xythar already responded to some of them below.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_04.42_2013.01.01_19.25.20.jpg

You don’t have to be a slut to have a lot of experience. Compared to her classmates, having experience at all makes her a veteran.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_08.02_2013.01.01_19.40.52.jpg

That’s exactly what she says. If follows perfectly.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_08.04_2013.01.01_19.40.58.jpg
>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_08.05_2013.01.01_19.41.03.jpg

Again, this is what she says. Sorry you can’t follow it.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_12.50_2013.01.01_20.01.11.jpg
>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_12.53_2013.01.01_20.01.19.jpg
>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_12.56_2013.01.01_20.01.25.jpg

Sometimes I wonder if you’re retarded. You think this doesn’t make sense, but his next line is “I didn’t say it thrice!” or whatever. Of course it has to be translated like that.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_18.49_2013.01.01_20.26.52.jpg

Clearly should be famiglia. I hear you love that word.

>http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_20.09_2013.01.01_20.37.58.jpg

This is not even a complaint. Try harder.

herkz says:

Oh, one more.

>“Well, I did, somehow.” does NOT fucking answer the “When did you decide you were in love with him?” question. The question necessitates a when response, not a “Well, I did, somehow.” response.

It’s not supposed to.

Dark_Sage says:

I have no idea why you appear to be the only person on this site who doesn’t understand English. You should stick to what you’re good at. Though I’m not sure anybody knows what that is.

She doesn’t need to ANSWER the question. She needs to REPLY in a fashion that FOLLOWS, you STUPID SHIT. Something like “I dunno, I just did.” is perfect. It doesn’t answer his question, but it makes sense as a reply. There’s a huge difference, but I doubt you understand it now even after I explained it. I’m afraid I can’t beam cognizance across the net, though I do so earnestly wish to.

herkz says:

Also she doesn’t reply in a fashion that follows, therefore neither does the translation.

That was my entire point.

Dark_Sage says:

UTW-Mazui’s line:
“When did you determine you loved him”
“Well, that’s… I just kind of knew.”

Somehow theirs follows, which I guess means they TL’d it incorrectly? You should let them know.

Xythar says:

I suggested that, but
[Xythar] i’d have probably put the nantonaku line as “I just knew”
[Xythar] it’s a bit clearer
[Futsuu] I’m sorry
[Futsuu] I don’t believe in spelling things out for the viewer
[Futsuu] if she had said “nantonaku wakatta yo” that’s what I would’ve translated it as
[Futsuu] but she didn’t
[Futsuu] she continued the conversation off a word koyomi had already used
[Futsuu] that’s the kind of flow monogatari banter has

Can’t really disagree, I guess.

FalseDawn says:

Surely if you’re riffing off a particular word in a conversation, you need to make that word stand out enough so that it’s obvious it’s being riffed on?

Xythar says:

One would expect the constant repetition of the word as well as it being typeset on the screen in giant letters to do that, but I’m no riff artist.

FalseDawn says:

Well, what I mean (and having looked at the conversation again) is that you don’t get a sense that the conversation is intentionally being held at cross-purposes, so it’s open to interpretation as a bad edit. True, it’s annoying when dialogue does that, but that’s when an editor can really come into his own.

Yes, but it’s a constant repetition of a *common* word, so then it falls into the realms of potential overuse. You can’t take it out, of course, but you could make the phrase quirkier while still meaning the same thing (English has a wealth of synonyms and idioms, though admittedly none spring immediately to mind in this instance).

It’s like the lines later on where she says the same thing three times. The repetition is important but a native English speaker would pepper it with small emphasising words, like the rule of three where you repeat the “and” to add weight.

tl;dr The words may have been translated and the dialogue may be literal translations of what’s being said, but there’s no ambience to the text to clue the viewer in. In most shows you’d get away with that and it’d be considered splitting hairs but with something like this, it makes or breaks a script.

Dark_Sage says:

A “veteran of love” actually does carry slight slut-shaming connotations. But really, that’s not the biggest issue with it. The issue is that the terminology doesn’t make sense. You interpreted “experience” as “lots of experience” which doesn’t make much sense because through the course of the episode it’s implied that Tsukihi has only had one boyfriend. Whether that’s true or not, I don’t know, I don’t follow the light novels. But I’m getting distracted from the point. Gist is, calling her a veteran of love is stupid unless it’s revealed she’s had lots of boyfriends, which, being a middle school student, probably is untrue. You jump to stupid conclusions so don’t be surprised when I pull your head out from its lofty position up your own ass.

Your comments on what does/doesn’t “follow” completely missed the point. When taken as a whole, that conversation doesn’t make sense. I mean, I’m glad for you if your brain automatically connects the dots, but just because you’re used to shitty writing doesn’t mean you need to force it onto others.

You are so precious, herkz. My problem wasn’t with the repetition. Why not read it again and see if you can spot the error before I spoil it for you?

“Things don’t go my way, things are tedious.” If that’s brilliant line-writing to you, you must have been living in the dark for your entire life.

herkz says:

I dunno if this is hard to understand for you, but that is literally what those lines says. We aren’t going to edit the lines to make them incorrect just so they make sense to you.

P32L says:

Commie: a bastion of strict literalism.

Xythar says:

Different TLs have different approaches.

I don’t think I’d edit a line to be outright wrong, though.

Xythar says:

The missing “you” from the first porn magazines screenshot is legit though, as are the extra “ifs” in http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_08.27_2013.01.01_19.44.49.jpg (that line should just read “I wondered if I loved him, felt I did, and realized I did.”) I believe these will be fixed when all four episodes are released as one file at the end.

But yeah, a lot of it is simply how the dialogue goes. Yeah, she doesn’t answer his question with a specific time she fell in love, but that’s how it was written. He asks “when” and she says “I just did”.

tormaid says:

>We’ll forget about the encode

щ(゚Д゚щ) Easier said than done…

herkz says:

But hey, BD in 3 months!

tormaid says:

True enough!

Xythar says:

For the “a monster beautiful enough to make one’s blood curl”, as I understand the original line is literally “beautiful enough to freeze the blood”. It seems like a pretty good interpretation on that to me – it doesn’t immediately make sense as to why something beautiful would evoke a horrified reaction, but that’s the juxtaposition Nisio wrote.

I’m told the “scars were shared” one is キズを分け合う, which literally is to share scars. I don’t know what that means at a first glance, but then I haven’t seen/read Kizumonogatari.

For the “unfathomable” one, she says imi wakannai, lit “I don’t understand it / the meaning” (or, one could interpret, “I don’t understand why you’d do that”.) Not “unforgivable”.

Regarding the yandere thing, I’d have to let the TL explain the reasoning behind that (or I might just add it myself if he tells me).

A lot of that stuff is pretty legit though and I blame people rushing / being lazy. The kindred pun was all the translator, though.

Dark_Sage says:

“A monster whose beauty is enough to make the heart stop.” then.
UTW-Mazui had something about “a tale of shared pain” which isn’t literal garbage.
Like I said in IRC, choose something that would make sense for her to say. “It boggles the mind!” for example.

My changes may not make sense when you have the benefit of understanding what the translator originally intended, but if I can’t get that intent from the script, don’t blame me for your muddled translation.

herkz says:

Firstly, the intro is supposed to be a recap of sorts and assumes you already have knowledge of the other *monogatari stuff.

Secondly, you can’t even understand simple dialogue that has no hidden meaning, so this complaint doesn’t mean much coming from you.

Dark_Sage says:

Is your argument really “our script isn’t bad if you’ve already read the light novels”? You truly are the best, herkz. <3

Xythar says:

To be fair, this wasn’t even supposed to come out before Kizumonogatari. It was written under the assumption that the viewer had read Kizu, so there will be stuff that probably won’t mean much otherwise.

The only reason it’s out at all was because Shaft aren’t good at keeping to their targets and didn’t manage to finish the Kizumonogatari movie in time.

herkz says:

No, my argument is “that line makes perfect sense if you’ve read Kizumonogatari therefore there is nothing wrong with it.”

Dark_Sage says:

So in other words, your argument is exactly as I described. Sasuga herkz.

herkz says:

No. I’m saying there’s no way to make that line make sense without context without being wrong.

Dark_Sage says:

I don’t even know how the argument devolved to this stage, actually. Which line are you defending? The “scars” thing?

Xythar says:

Probably.

The “scars” is kind of a keyword since it’s referring back to Kizumonogatari, I guess.

Reed says:

This is the problem with subbing shows with nonsense dialogue – the dialogue is nonsensical.

Zan says:

>Overall grade: C+
Shh… It’s okay, Commie. Zan still loves you.

Futsuu says:

Greetings. I come in peace.

I’m not going to sit here and pretend this release doesn’t have issues. It definitely does, and some of the things you pointed out were legitimate ones. They’ll be fixed in the final release.

That said, I take exception to some of the so-called problems you had with it, so here I am. Anyway, let’s go:

1) http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_00.18_2013.01.01_17.41.16.jpg
I see you suggested “hellishly beautiful” and “heart stop”. Think about this way, though. NisiOisiN could’ve gone with something like that, but he didn’t. Do you know why he chose to go with blood instead? Because the monster in question is a vampire.

2) http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_00.21_2013.01.01_17.45.16-640×360.jpg
You don’t need to read the LNs to know that Kizumonogatari is a thing that exists. Do you know what Kizu means? Definitely not pain, that’s for sure.

3) http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_01.50_2013.01.01_17.56.48-640×360.jpg
Using “golden nine days” would completely butcher that line, because it talks about how that time period sticks out and makes a not so subtle reference to Golden Week. Last, but not the least, the Japanese says “ougon-iro ni kagayaku”, i.e. it’s a gold-coloured glitter, not a golden one. Now, I’m pretty sure there’s something people say about things that glitter, but I’m having difficulty remembering it.

4) http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_02.23_2013.01.01_18.03.59.jpg
>Try “unforgivable”.
imi wakannai

5) I know I said I didn’t believe in spelling things out for the viewer, but I’ll do just that for the conversation you posted. Let’s do this.

>When, and at what stage, did you conclude you were in love with him?
>Well… I just did, somehow.
En-dashes aside, this has already been talked about.
>Yup. Ambiguously. Vaguely.
As in “I came to that conclusion in an ambiguous and vague manner”.
>Is that okay?
As in “Is it okay to make a conclusion that way?”
>It is.
As in “It is okay to make a conclusion that way.”

Now, let’s look at UTW-Mazui’s version which you said were able to follow.
>When, and what stage did you determine that you loved him?
>Well, that’s… I just kind of knew.
>Just kind of knew?
>Right.
>Vaguely. Kind of.
>Just like that?
>Just like that.
Yeah, have fun with that.

6) http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_20.09_2013.01.01_20.37.58-640×360.jpg
That’s what it says, but I guess we could come up with a way to make it clearer. Definitely not going to change it to something incorrect, though.

7)>Absolutely brilliant.
Thank you.

Dark_Sage says:

Sorry, spam filter hit your post (97.7% accuracy rate, but I gotta watch out for that .3%).

1. Because vampires could not be described as hellish, and hearts are not related to blood? Okay.

2. An awkward literal translation however literal is still awkward. “kizu” seems to be a major point of contention, however, so I’ll back off from this a bit and add your viewpoint into the review.

I still take issue with it, but it’s not going to affect the score.

3. “Of those nine days that sparkled with the color of gold”. That fine? I think you’ll find my changes more reasonable when I have translator intent down pat. Otherwise I have to guess at what you want.

4. I don’t speak Jap (or I’m sure I’d have a LOT more to bitch about), so please say that in English, onegaishimasudesu-san.

5. I understood UTW-Mazui’s just fine. This is my fault for being unclear, but my issue is not with what words are being said, but with how the lines flow from one to the other.

I think it’s fair to say that -monogatari conversations are like tennis matches. Each side hits the ball at the other and they keep the volley going for a while. What your conversation felt like was each side faulting on the serve. There was no volley; it didn’t fit.

6. UTW-Mazui had “I couldn’t change a thing and it sucks.” But you might find that too liberal for your translation style.

“Things don’t go my way” in combination with “Things are much too tedious” is too non-specific for me to suggest a proper line. Is there really no other vocab to work off in the original Japanese?

Vance says:

Uh… I believe that you mean “rally” and not “volley.” Players hardly volley these days due to the slow pace of the modern tennis scene.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh, that was the only terminology I screwed up? Hot damn! Teekyu prepared me well, then.

Izuchi says:

>Inhuman creatures that crawl in the dark.
>crawl

Why not prowl?

Dark_Sage says:

Not really sure. They had “squirming” in the sign translation, so I thought it would have to be along those lines.

Maybe “creep” would get the meaning across better.

FalseDawn says:

Blood curl? That must be an American thing – I’ve never heard that phrase before. Curdling, yes? But curling? That doesn’t even make sense. Maybe your ancestors misheard the parent language :D

I’m obviously too dumb for the kindred pun. I’ve looked at it many times and still can’t fathom it.

Random observation: Those two characters in the bedroom must be tiny. I’m glad they added in a banana for scale, otherwise I would never have known the -gatari franchise was about Borrowers.

Off to sing “Comma Police” now to the tune of Radiohead.

P32L says:

I can’t find any reliable sources for “blood curl”, so it sounds like a veritable mondegreen. I think you’re just over-analysing the kindred thing— kindred contains “red”, which blood is.

FalseDawn says:

Oh wow, yes. I was completely over-analysing. It didn’t help that it rhymed with undead either because then I just started playing word association.

natuskashii-ne says:

and yes, it is ‘blood curdling-scream’ that classically encompasses the idiom. blood never curls.

kayserlein says:

Sage, you didn’t even mention Hanekawa’s cat talk.
It was one thing about their script I really loved.

Your thoughts on that?

Xythar says:

Doesn’t come into play until ep2, though you’ll probably see it in the TL Party.

kayserlein says:

Oh, my bad. Watched the first two episodes in a row with Auto-play, so I didn’t realize that.

Looking forward to the party then…

Dark_Sage says:

Yep, you’ll see it in the party. As for my personal taste? I love puns. <3

Beelzebub says:

If Commie were attempting to translate “family” into the German language, then they’d have to capitalize “Familie”, since, rule of thumb, all nouns in German need to be capitalized.

The oh-so-clever way of Commie to translate English words in Japanese Anime into a different language, only succeeds if done right.
If you don’t know what the fuck you are actually writing into your sub, but still insist on doing so, you are just embarrassing yourself.
And on top of that, it’s still not funny.

P32L says:

To spare the trouble, I’ll just say it again: of the various languages that use “familie” (German not being one of them), none universally capitalise nouns AFAIK, rendering your point moot. Translating away from English still completely defeats the purpose of English subtitles, though.

P32L says:

Wait, German does use familie, I just didn’t search right :X
Either way, it’s not incorrect.

Beelzebub says:

Since I AM German, I think I know what I’m talking about.
If you find me another language that says “F/familie” for “family” besides German, no matter which one it is, I’ll keep mouth shut and send you a flower bouquet.
Until then, it is assumed to be the German word and thus has to be capitalized.

No offense, though, I want to keep it civil.
Just having a nice and (hopefully) fruitful convo.

FalseDawn says:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/familie

Danish, Dutch, Norwegian, Novial (what the hell is that?) and Romanian apparently.

But Commie were more likely to be going down the German route. Probably a hangover from that tank anime they did.

P32L says:

Bah, ninja’d.

P32L says:

Dutch, Danish, Romanian, and a couple more (from Wiktionary, which I did double-check).

Beelzebub says:

Thanks, you are correct, the flowers are on their way.

This helps me sleep at night.

P32L says:

My point was that other languages that don’t capitalise nouns use “familie”, so there’s no reason to assume it incorrect (even though, knowing Commie, it probably was a failed attempt at German).

FalseDawn says:

Maybe we could start a trend of subbing all engrished words into Dutch. I’m sure Dark_Sage would approve of that.

P32L says:

What’s the point of engrishing into Dutch when Dutch is just engrished German? (dohoho)

Verix says:

>Dutch is just engrished German
wat.

P32L says:

By which I mean the corrupted spawn of English and German. Of course, my rather lacklustre joke doesn’t work when written as such.

Gebbi says:

>BS11 airs Nekomonogatari at the same time, but with nearly twice the bitrate as MX
>Commie uses shitty MX source

Why would you do that? Because of the “huge station logo”? It’s not that huge compared to western station logos, so nobody actually cares.

Adam says:

I know this is a very long time after the fact, but I just wanted to nitpick one of the screencaps for Commie’s subs: http://crymore.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Commie-Nekomonogatari-Black-01-1B0402DF.mkv_snapshot_19.45_2013.01.01_20.37.21.jpg

You need “kindRED” (I used caps because I’m not sure how to do italics in these comment boxes) for the pun to work, but to me it reads awkwardly because it’s the wrong word to begin with. “Kin” is the right one, but then you have no pun. I don’t think it’s a huge issue, but I guess you have to take your pick with this one.

Also, since I have trouble sometimes with sarcasm in a text-only format, I really couldn’t tell for sure whether or not D_S was being sarcastic in his comments about this particular line (I WANNA say no).

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