And here we are with Commie’s release. I heard the TL was supposed to be amazing, so let’s see how great this release actually is.
Table of Contents
Release format: MKV (264 MB, 10-bit)
Japanesiness: No honorifics.
English style: American English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/635qupny
Speed: Slow (>48 hours)
Group website: http://commiesubs.com/
IRC channel: #commie-subs[email protected]
SubCompare screenshot comparisons: N/A
Commie’s fansub reviews: N/A.
Opening. Cute. The colors change when necessary and the font is generally a good match.
You know the drill. Tons of signs in the spoiler if you wanna see them.
This is a fairly representative sample of the signs in this release. Of all the groups, Commie had the most signs typeset.
It’s not the greatest of encodes, no. Honestly, you should probably fire your encoder and have RHE do it instead. Why not use your best on a show like Neko?
Commie’s typeset doesn’t match the script here, and this is a common issue in the release. You can play it off as a stylistic choice and swear that the mismatch was intentional. That I could buy… if you did it all the time.
Instead, it matched half the time and didn’t match the other half. The only consistency was the inconsistency.
Uhh, what? Do you know what “blood curl” means? It’s when you get so frightened your blood starts to coagulate (though not literally). The term is entirely associated with fear, not beauty.
If you were trying to intelligently get across a juxtaposition of fear and attraction, you utterly and completely failed. You should have been playing around with dual meanings in that case. “hellishly beautiful” is one that came to the top of my mind. And really, if you don’t know what the fuck an intensifier is, you should not be subbing this show.
What? “scars were shared”? Is this a documentary of Gibberishfest 2013 or something?
Edit: Apparently “scars” is a direct translation and refers back to Kizumonogatari. I still think it’s a stupid line, but I’ll give you that viewpoint.
“Of those nine golden days,”
would be a far better choice of words there. You know, to change it to something that makes sense.
Have you heard of matching your tenses? woke->wake OR go->went.
Also, “It’s unfathomable.”? Sure have issues representing character in your scripts, dontcha? Try “unforgivable”.
>translating “yandere” as “sadist”
For those of you not wap enough to know what “yandere” means, it’s essentially a character type where the character is crazy with love for another, emphasis on the crazy. Yanderes will go to extreme lengths, often in the murder department, to get rid of anything that stands in between them and their target of affection. Sometimes this even means killing the target of affection and fucking the dead body. Yanderes gonna yandere.
Translating it as “sadist” completely removes the “insanity” piece. And it makes it out like yanderes get sexual gratification from hurting people. Which, as a whole, they don’t.
If you must translate it (and I think that’s a fucking stupid idea, but whatever), translate it properly. “so I wanted to try out being a psycho lover.” You can still play off that with “You forgot the ‘love’ part!”
Otherwise you’re just making shit up.
A veteran of love? Are you calling Tsukihi a slut, Commie?
Seriously poor choice of words there. Just use “and your friends likely ask you for advice about love because you have a boyfriend”. Or really, anything that gets away from using “veteran”.
A bit of, let’s say, a bit of repetition never hurt anybody!
You should use en-dashes in place of the commas here because both “When” and “At what stage” are alternate beginnings for the sentence and commas don’t indicate this. But that’s not the biggest problem here. Keep reading. The following are all part of the same conversation:
“Well, I did, somehow.” does NOT fucking answer the “When did you decide you were in love with him?” question. The question necessitates a when response, not a “Well, I did, somehow.” response.
This doesn’t follow. It doesn’t follow at-fucking-all.
No, it’s not!
My brain completely shut down while trying to follow that conversation.
Commie, take note: your viewers’ brains should not shut down while watching your releases.
It honestly pains me to describe these errors because it means I have to admit that humans are capable of such atrocities against the English language.
Let’s take this apart.
I wondered if I loved him <- Fine.
if I felt I did <- No, and here’s why: This line is the same as “I wondered if I felt I loved him” because of its placement in that sentence’s list. And when you look at that line, it’s quite obvious it’s 100% wrong.
The third part — if I realized I did — is fine, because it translates as “I wondered if I realized I loved him”, which is English (though admittedly awkward, but if I pointed out all the awkward lines in this release we’d be here all day).
Honestly, I think a full re-write is necessary.
“I wondered about whether or not I loved him. And when I thought about it, I realized I did love him.” <- You could probably write this up with wordplay but I’m about five seconds away from pounding a nail into my skull to stop this splitting headache brought on by Commie’s release, so I’m not gonna go that route.
When the first time I’m impressed is 9 minutes in with what is likely a direct translation, that’s not exactly good.
A-tier script, Commie. You deserve a round of applause and perhaps a round of shots laced with cyanide.
That English-like sentence.
It’s actually “pent-up”, but I guess missing dashes are the least of your worries in this script.
Oh come the fuck on. Do they not teach kids what colons are in schools these days? Or do they leave that up to the kids’ drunk fathers?
Comma abuse! Call the comma police!
There we go! Topical translations. I knew you could do it.
Oh Commie, this is one of the very, very, very, very few things I hate about you. Translating words said in English into different languages because… Well, I don’t think they have any decent reasons for it.
I get that you’re uncomfortable with English, but please try to bear with it. You’ll get the hang of the language in no time.
You might not have siblings, sure,
Please try to get the basics right.
This doesn’t say a damned thing and could be filler’d guesslation for all I know.
Absolutely brilliant. Get whoever was in charge of these lines a gift certificate to their local asian massage parlor. They deserve to get off like I did when I read this.
This works perfectly at the start and then by the final screen takes the pun elevator up another ten levels.
Extremely well placed for the mood/setting. This is one of the examples of occasional intelligence in the script. There were a few more, but they weren’t anything to write home about.
Visual grade: A+ (we’ll forget about the encode)
Script grade: D+ (D- when you factor in http://crymore.net/2013/01/03/fansub-review-addendum-commie-nekomonogatari-episode-01/)
Overall grade: C+ (original, canon), C- (after a second pass)
The visuals in Commie’s release put them quite a bit ahead of pem’s release. But the script was ultimately a miss in more ways than one. Stupid phrasing combined with a generally boring script is not what we should be subject to in a -monogatari release.
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