Dark_Sage’s Stock Report: 04/24/2013

Article — By on April 24, 2013 2:59 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Now announcing Crymore’s stock advice corner.

Buy: Cheerios Stock


Kids like Cheerios, and I have it on good authority that there is an infinite supply of kids in this world. That means infinite money. I dunno about you, but that’s good math to me.



Sell: Nintendo Stock



The 3DS isn’t worth the plastic it’s molded from. (Literally, the system cost 5 cents to make. I heard so on VGLeaks.)

No 3rd-party support will doom the WiiU and 3DS like last gen.

Pokemon hasn’t been as good ever since I hit puberty.



Hold: Turnips




Solaristics says:

Kanade + Turnip = Best Stocks. Now I can sleep l0l.

kayserlein says:

Are you stalking me? I just finished Katanagatari like last week. 0.o

FalseDawn says:

Everyone needs turnips. Good advice.

Humanity says:

Everyone knows that you gotta hold onto your turnips in the harsh world of the stalk market.

2ColouredEyes says:

I humbly disagree. Potatoes will save people from starving.

RaccoonGoon says:

This is exactly what I thought.

Beckett says:

I still like Pokemon specifically because I can grind levels in Pokemon Emerald on my phone while I watch anime. I have sort of a nervous tic where I feel really antsy if my hands aren’t doing something while I watch TV. I can only fap so much so playing Pokemon gives my hands something to do during the refractory period.

Choob says:

Funny thing is, even without much 3rd party support, Nintendo’s Wii sold the most out of the three console this generation.

Beckett says:

I’m not convinced by the numbers frankly. It sold more but how much of that was because it was cheaper than other consoles? How much was because of the hype? How much was because of Nintendo’s marketing campaign? I don’t know the answers and I don’t think anyone else does either, so straight console sales are a poor indicator of success. I think game sales are a much stronger indicator, I’d like to see some data on how well various multiplatform games sold on Wii compared to other platforms.

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