Translation Review: [LBOni-Speed] Kakumeiki Valvrave – 11

B-Tier, Fansub Review, Translation Review — By on June 26, 2013 9:01 pm

This post was written by kokujin-kun. He is not Dark_Sage.


Last, but certainly not the least, here’s what, uh, Little Black Butterflies and Oni Fansubs got to offer us.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (571 MB, 10-bit)

Wap Level: Eastern name order

English style: American English.

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

 

External links.

Group website: http://oni.fansub.co     http://lbb.littlewhitebutterflies.net

IRC channel: #[email protected]    #[email protected]

Fansub.co screenshot comparisons:

Subbusu screenshot comparisons:

 

Translation

Karaoke.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_01.32_[2013.06.25_15.04.44]

OP is fine, though it cuts too close to nonsensical literalism for my tastes in a couple of places.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_23.09_[2013.06.26_19.25.52]

ED. Nope, “Even if you disappear” doesn’t pass the smell test for “douka kienaide.” It’s supposed be somewhere along the lines of “don’t disappear.”

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_23.13_[2013.06.25_11.45.03]

Here’s a line where, if I wrote it in my first draft of TLing an ED, I’d crumple up that piece of paper, toss it in the trash can, and think up something better, in the manner of some stereotypical struggling writer. Writing poetry, lyrics, and junk isn’t easy and it will take hours to come up with a perfect line. My quick fix is to just take out that offending word “tracing.”

 

Main Script.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_04.53_[2013.06.25_10.40.30]

Swing and a miss. “The first letter is a drawing!” See the [gg] review for more details.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_05.16_[2013.06.25_10.43.08]

You mean “blue sign”.  Besides, saying that the sign is “old” in a city that appears to be in ruins doesn’t really narrow things down.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_04.59_[2013.06.25_10.42.25]

LBOni: Sashinami Shouko

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_05.44_[2013.06.25_10.45.02]

Official romanization: Shoko Sashinami.  If there’s no real reason to go against what the original creators wrote (e.g. fixing up engrish), you should follow accordingly.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_07.00_[2013.06.25_10.49.19]

Two people are talking here. Split line at “Nice to meet you.” And “sports teacher”? Try “health and phy. ed.”

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_08.52_[2013.06.25_10.51.33]

I usually frown on adding onomatopoetic words, unless they are used to good effect. If they aren’t used to good effect, they just add more Stupid to a script.  And why is it in italics?

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_09.56_[2013.06.25_11.11.46]

I’m sure the viewing audience would like to know who exactly has been trying  to contact Hikkikomori-chan in 2 minute intervals. Yes, this scene is necessary to typeset and not doing it is akin to leaving an entire line of dialogue blank.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_13.11_[2013.06.25_11.20.56]

So we went three for three for fansub groups and official licensors NOT typesetting that prime ministerial obelisk thing. Do I have to fucking grade on a curve now?

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_17.26_[2013.06.25_11.31.27]

Well, this is closer to what I like to see when translators are faced with a line that contains kantan ni.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_17.57_[2013.06.25_11.29.30]

Yes, this is as close to having the space Nazis use a racial slur against the JIORans as you can get.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_18.09_[2013.06.25_11.32.20]

Well, it’s not “Untermensch” but it’ll do :)

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_19.17_[2013.06.25_11.33.42]

“Yeah! Did you see that,  Dorssian fuckers?!”

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_21.25_[2013.06.25_11.41.35]

Line as it is sounds redundant and nonsensical. Go with, “Then I’ll just fight without it.”

 

 

Other Observations

First of all, it appears that [gg] has [LBOni] beat when it comes to both speed and QCing (keep in mind that [gg] does zero to no QC).

First of all timing:

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_04.59_[2013.06.25_10.42.25][LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_05.00_[2013.06.25_10.42.37][LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_05.53_[2013.06.25_10.46.11][LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_05.55_[2013.06.25_10.46.59]

Both lines blink before we go to the next scene.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_01.29_[2013.06.25_10.34.00]ss (2013-06-26 at 08.26.56)

When more than one specific sets of lines are red, that’s usually a bad thing.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_06.26_[2013.06.25_10.47.53]

What’s wrong with this typesetting? Click here and find out.

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_10.11_[2013.06.25_11.12.38]

That’s 44 fucking characters that’s up on the screen for less than a fucking second. That gives you 48 characters per second for this line. The maximum length a normal reader can handle is 20 characters per second (although you should keep it to 15). Actually, I simply don’t get why Aegisub doesn’t include a character counter as a feature already.

 

Of course, if those basic visual stuff weren’t caught, then that means the script is similarly derpy, for example:

[LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_06.51_[2013.06.25_10.48.58][LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_14.01_[2013.06.25_11.24.15][LBOni-Speed]_Kakumeiki_Valvrave_-_11_[720p][73CA52D3].mkv_snapshot_16.34_[2013.06.25_11.27.30]

Of course the last one reminded me of this legendary fansub fail.

Final Grade: B

The [LBOni] release is more accurate than the one put out by [gg]. However, the lines they come up with usually fall between mundane and goofy, which puts them in the B range. However, they are definitely better than what the official subs are putting out. That means recommending a group for this show is basically a toss of a coin, which translates to “go with whoever comes out first.”

 

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12 Comments

Ryuk says:

Well, [gg] does have more staff than [LBOni-Speed]. They have a different person on each task. While we have 3 people. Two tlers. And me. I do time/typeset/op.ed/QC/boss people around/remind encoder.

It’s kinda hard to work like that.

kokujin-kun says:

I see, that does put a crimp on things. But if you’re going to put out something at that speed with the resources you have, you’re going to have to accept the higher risks of problems occurring.

Ryuk says:

Ya, I accept my problems. ☆ \(◕‿◕✿)/

mahay says:

I like reading these reviews, but your ranking is confusing. All three groups received the same grade, yet it’s obvious that some are better than others. At first glance, one would think that they’re all equally as good. Other than that, keep on doing the good work.

kokujin-kun says:

I did say choosing the “best” subs for this show is basically a flip of the coin. However, I guess I should clarify that out of the three scripts, if you’re looking for accuracy, I’d recommend Aniplex, LBOni, and gg in that order. If you’re looking for readability and enjoyment, I’d recommend gg, LBOni, and Aniplex in the reverse order. So I guess looking at things in that perspective, LBOni would be your safest choice.

TAK says:

>Actually, I simply don’t get why Aegisub doesn’t include a character counter as a feature already.

It actually does. Given that you use the trunk builds. ( ¬‿¬)

Are you going to do the normal release of them too? Don’t know if there is much of a difference. (Didn’t watch it yet.) But yeah, keep it up!

kokujin-kun says:

It looks like the people who added the character counter in those trunk builds were being kind of retarded. They included spaces when they counted characters, and I don’t get what kind of calculations they use to determine what’s a good length. The result is that lines that are of reasonable length are determined to be too long.

As for their normal release, if they had released up to episode 11, then I would have considered it.

TAK says:

Okay, makes sense.

Yeah, that’s probably the reason why it didn’t find its way into the final release. But we might see it in a future release, if there’s some feedback. At least it’s a start. ┐( ̄ー ̄)┌

returnity says:

The [LBOni] release is a night & day difference from the [LBOni-Speed] release, TAK. It’s properly edited, re-timed, TLC’d, re-TS’d, & kfx’d.

Hopefully within a week or so, it’ll be caught up & batched, and for the second cour this fall, things will be running on a proper schedule. They started doing this show 4 episodes late, so this season was kinda hectic.

TAK says:

Ah, thanks for the info. It’s always nice to see groups that actually bother to put some effort in their releases. They even do the same episode twice for the sake of quality. Maybe I should keep an eye on them.
But now I’d like to see a review even more. xD

sangofe says:

And if you like good timing, avoid Oni like the devil?

returnity says:

So judging from these reviews, LBOni-Speed has the most accurate translation, but the ‘Speed’ part obviously hampers QC, and the unedited script is rather derpy…

Fortunately, they do an [LBOni] quality release with full editing, re-timing, TLC, and re-done TS for archival purposes. Problem solved, if the quality releases were uploaded weekly like they would have been if LBOni hadn’t started this mid-season. Let’s see what happens for the second cour of the show.

Thanks, kokujin-kun. Glad to have you doing TL reviews here. I like your perspective on what makes a good TL vs. an overly-stiff literal generitranslation. That’s exactly what a good editor can really help with.

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