[SS-Eclipse/Official] Clannad – 01 (TV/DVD)

This post was written by Calyrica. She is not Dark_Sage.


A lot of us have a nostalgia hard-on (or in my case… nevermind) for Eclipse. I was asked to compare their Clannad to the official DVDs. Here’s what I found.

A few notes before we get started. First of all, I’m having my oral defense of my thesis on Monday, so this is the last review I’m putting up before then. Especially with the final weekend of the FFXIV beta being this Friday/Saturday, my time is super limited for awhile.

Second, I think I only have three more requests to fulfill after this (three-way Railgun comparison, a show from Saizen, and a show from ARR). If no one has anything else, I’ll just start pulling out random shit that I’m watching and no one cares about.

Third, I don’t own Clannad on DVD (lol Caly owning anime DVDs u so funnie!), so I used E-D’s rips. Therefore, I’ll also be calling them out on some small style stuff since you’d think a fansub group would at least style the dialogue…

Btw, Fuuko best girl.

SS-Eclipse

Filesize: lol the video’s on my Mac and I’m at work.
English: American, honorifics

Karaoke

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_02.06_[2013.07.04_18.34.35]

OP. Vertical margins seem a bit small.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_22.13_[2013.07.04_18.59.20]

ED. Again, vertical margins are really small. Otherwise, this fits really well. I suppose it’s pretty easy to match this ED, though.

Typesetting

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_02.39_[2013.07.04_18.35.15]

Well, the karaoke doesn’t always work fine. But the point of this screenie is to show the cool credits they did.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_04.41_[2013.07.04_18.37.33]

Typesetting is just fine.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_15.08_[2013.07.04_18.51.02]

It’s small, but there’s not really a choice.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_16.22_[2013.07.04_18.52.29]

At least… the typesetting’s there? Can’t even read it, though.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_23.42_[2013.07.04_19.01.05]

Just fine.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_24.07_[2013.07.04_19.01.54]

Just fine.

I kind of wish they’d use a more handwritten font for the titles, though. It’s not really serif.

Script

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_00.22_[2013.07.04_18.32.22]

This is a mouthful! “go back to the home I don’t even want to go back to”.

How about: “return to a place I don’t even call home”?

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_00.26_[2013.07.04_18.32.45]

This is a Japanese language thing melting into the subs. This is literally how it’s said in Japanese. Doesn’t mean you can’t rearrange this to flow better in English.

Will doing this eventually change something?

But even this is shit. The reason? It’s vague as fuck and doesn’t really mean anything.

If I continue on like this, will something eventually change?

It’s longer, but you actually get what’s he’s thinking about. He wants to know if things will change if he continues to live his life as he is.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_03.44_[2013.07.04_18.36.25]

Need a comma between doing and playing.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_04.17_[2013.07.04_18.37.03]

Please limit yourself to one exclamation point.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_04.56_[2013.07.04_18.38.07]

if it were. Subjunctive case, my friends.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_05.54_[2013.07.04_18.39.04]

See, you got the subjunctive case right here!

Unfortunately, the line suffers from worse problems.

If I were searching for a place to be born into, this is not one I’d choose.

Meh. That’s not even all that good. But luckily, I don’t have to edit this show~!

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_07.03_[2013.07.04_18.40.20]

Do you mean “come to school on time every day”?

I know it’s how it’s literally translated from Japanese, but if you use the “properly” shit in cases like these, you’re doing something wrong.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_07.07_[2013.07.04_18.40.28]

Because we’re Canadian, eh?

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_07.08_[2013.07.04_18.40.43]

I’m not just “like” a class representative.

Okay, it’s longer, but it sucks as-is.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_07.12_[2013.07.04_18.41.03]

While this is the correct way to shorten “class representative”, the period makes this line seem odd, especially since there’s only one word after “rep.”.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_08.45_[2013.07.04_18.42.41]

Because he’s really going to speak so formally.

“So where should I go eat?”

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_09.50_[2013.07.04_18.43.52]

Parallel structure, people. I lectured you on this last review.

I used to have friends and get along with teachers, but now…

Although, it could probably be that she meant “I used to have [friends and teachers] I got along with.” However, the way it’s written makes it hard to tell. Is she saying [have friends] and [teachers I got along with]? Because that’s how I read it at first. If this is what she meant, then write:

I used to get along with people, like my friends and teachers, but now…

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_10.14_[2013.07.04_18.44.21]

that second part is really cumbersome.

“and I don’t know anyone who’s left.”

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_10.16_[2013.07.04_18.44.29]

Thank you, SS-Eclipse. (No problems here btw.)

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_10.23_[2013.07.04_18.45.01]

This is a question, so end it with a question mark. Ellipses are for if she’s omitting something, and this is a full question.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_11.21_[2013.07.04_18.46.08]

Really? You’re going to say hardcore bikers are “wheeling around”?

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_15.40_[2013.07.04_18.51.41]

Oh, boy. This is talking about a school club, and there are multiple issues:

they’re/it. Match the pronouns.

I’ve never heard someone say a club is “closed”.

But since it’s only been disbanded, once conditions are met, it can start up again.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_16.34_[2013.07.04_18.52.51]

Are you missing a word or two or three?

Please come over when you feel like it!

Which is a mouthful. How about:

Please come over whenever you’d like!

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_18.15_[2013.07.04_18.54.51]

What have we learned about commas after conjunctions, guys? Not to mention this is awkward.

And to be so blunt would…

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_21.52_[2013.07.04_18.58.49]

I think I got this screenshot because the question was missing a “there” at the end. But maybe it was the ellipses at the beginning. I don’t remember.

Clannad 01.mkv_snapshot_23.09_[2013.07.04_19.00.25]

 

Make sure if you choose a font that it has all the symbols you need. If not, {\fnArial}'{\r} will fix it. Geez.

Official (via Exiled-Destiny)

Filesize: lol the video’s on my Mac and I’m at work.
English: American, some honorifics

Karaoke

What, are you expecting something here? It’s a fucking DVD rip.

Typesetting

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_00.19_[2013.07.04_19.03.14]

This wasn’t typeset by SS-Eclipse, first of all.

Second of all, that yellow font is gross. Luckily, E-D included a second script! Let’s see if they actually styled this one–

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_00.20_[2013.07.04_19.02.58]

Fuck my life. Looks like yellow text is the way we’re going!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_04.41_[2013.07.04_19.08.49]

Maybe I should just be glad they did the signs…

What am I saying? This is a fansub release. If you’re going do to a fansub release, at least improve over what’s legally out there! Otherwise you’re just being a filthy pirate!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_09.08_[2013.07.04_19.15.23]

Thank you for the TL note, I guess? SS-Eclipse just wrote it as “sweet bean bread”.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_10.16_[2013.07.04_19.17.01]

Uh, I hope you know who Rip Van Wrinkle is. I don’t quite remember.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_19.52_[2013.07.04_19.28.17]

You know, I like how most fansubs just do the TL notes at the top. When you do this, it gets in the way of the video.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_15.08_[2013.07.04_19.22.18]

Which period? I’m pretty sure the kanji is more specific than this…

Oh, and it seemed my mkv was missing the preview, so no screenies of that typesetting, but you probably can imagine.

Script

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_00.19_[2013.07.04_19.02.50]

Wait. You expect me to pay for a sub that doesn’t even know the difference between a noun and an adverb?!

(This should be “every day”, if you don’t get it.)

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_03.55_[2013.07.04_19.07.30]

Or that doesn’t know what a comma splice is?!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_03.59_[2013.07.04_19.07.38]

Or a question?!

For the record, I’d change this to:

Geez! You’re really cold!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_04.29_[2013.07.04_19.08.21]

How about sticking a “the” in there and not capitalizing this? It looks weird as fuck. (btw, SS-Eclipse had the same issue.)

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_04.58_[2013.07.04_19.09.22]

No, SS-Eclipse had this right. One-on-one.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_05.46_[2013.07.04_19.10.40]

Another fucking comma splice?

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_05.49_[2013.07.04_19.10.47]

Uh, how about:

Time doesn’t even pass.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_07.03_[2013.07.04_19.12.20]

Oh, so here you get the “every day” right, but you added a comma you don’t need right before it.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_07.06_[2013.07.04_19.12.29]

Class leader? Dafuq is that?

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_07.15_[2013.07.04_19.12.56]

I don’t think he’ll “have” anything. But he might “make” something happen.

You’ll make her big sister rush in!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_08.08_[2013.07.04_19.13.54]

Comma between nerve and picking, please.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_08.45_[2013.07.04_19.14.38]

Why the fuck did you do this, too?!

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_08.49_[2013.07.04_19.14.59]

I know you’re trying to be poetic, but damn it all to hell. Don’t.

They say the ghost of the girl killed in that traffic accident appears.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_10.12_[2013.07.04_19.16.33]

Everybody I knew graduated, so I don’t know anyone now.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_12.19_[2013.07.04_19.19.17]

The fucking fuck is “peaceably”? Write “peacefully” and be done. God.

Also, “I won’t trouble you”? What is with her formality? She’s talking to a gang of bikers for god’s sake.

Maybe I just hate this script.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_14.51_[2013.07.04_19.21.56]

Cultural club rooms? What, like the Asian club and the African club and shit?

Write “arts club rooms” or something instead. Anything.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_15.26_[2013.07.04_19.22.41]

Replace that comma with a “that” and you’re fine. Otherwise, this is a comma splice.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_15.43_[2013.07.04_19.23.02]

I WONDER IS NOT A FUCKING QUESTION WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS A MILLION TIMES ALREADY.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_16.39_[2013.07.04_19.24.03]

Who says “H’llo”? Isn’t it just ‘ello or ‘lo?

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_17.49_[2013.07.04_19.25.28]

No. This is not how you do a stutter.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_18.12_[2013.07.04_19.25.55]

The truth is always cruel.

Like these subs.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_19.19_[2013.07.04_19.27.20]

shabbily? just do something like poorly. I don’t even care enough to capitalize my sentences anymore.

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_19.34_[2013.07.04_19.27.49]

caustic? Do you expect your viewers to have a dictionary on them?

[Exiled-Destiny]_Clannad_Ep01v2_(C0F7EE99).mkv_snapshot_21.31_[2013.07.04_19.30.08]

commma after “that”.

tl;dr: Both of these fucking suck, but the official subs are worse. I guess we kind of have a reason to be nostalgic about SS-Eclipse.

24 thoughts on “[SS-Eclipse/Official] Clannad – 01 (TV/DVD)”

  1. about these “period dramas” – kanji doesn’t say more, but it shouldn’t be a literal translation:
    時代 (じだい) (n-t,n) [jidai]
    (1) period; epoch; era; age;
    (2) the times; those days;
    (3) oldness; ancientness; antiquity;
    (4) (abbr) antique; period piece; (P)

    Reply
  2. If I’m not just seeing things, the SS-E image after which you wrote “not typeset” does have “Furukawa” at the top and “Bread” at the bottom, so not quite sure where you were looking at. The sign has very little space for a proper typesetting without any cover-up even at this distance, but they worked with what they could.

    Reply
  3. inb4 someone posts the Clannad screencap where SS-Eclipse messed about with {\fscx} tags to make a long line fit onscreen. It was very noticeable >.>

    Reply
        • SS-Eclipse’s in Clannad was the most noticeable I’ve seen – the font was squashed together because of it. See if you can spot it, if you’re watching it through – I think it’s in one of the library scenes where they’re sitting at a desk chatting, if memory serves. I lol’d hard over it at the time.

          Reply
  4. Akio saying “shabbily” sounds much more natural to me than “poorly”. Imagine a rough guy dusting his hands and saying “not too shabby”. It totally fits his image. “Poorly”, on the other hand, would go well if it were Sanae’s line but would read as stuffy and weird for a manly guy like Akio.

    Caustic is hardly a weird word either. It’s certainly not obscure.

    Reply
    • They’re also hardly high school vernacular. (Neither is “vernacular” but I’m not putting that word in the mouth of a somewhat dim schoolgirl)

      Reply

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