Winter 2014 W2: There’s no way I can keep up with this shit

Anime Opinions, Article — By Dark_Sage on January 10, 2014 5:23 pm

The most interesting part of the season will be tracking how long it takes until I finally break down. In the meantime, I have to talk about 13 animes in one post.

Spoilers: The point of these posts isn’t to give you my opinions. It’s for you to get indignant about how we don’t match up perfectly. But did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m right? That maybe my years of anime experience have left me with superior anime reviewing powers? That maybe… it’s you who has the bad taste?

Well, let’s see if I can’t convince you over the course of this post.

 

ImoCho – Recently, My Sister is Unusual

Know what I call a bastardized manga adaptation that only managed to get me hard for about 30 seconds?

 

 

Hamtaro Season 2

My, how this franchise has grown up. It’s like Darker than Black, but with more bishies.

The thing that really stuck me on the show is how they handled a freak-out late into the episode. Instead of having a character give an inspiring speech or slap the character into sense, like every goddamn anime ever, the situation was defused with awkward comedy. And then completely fucking ignored. I mean, really, name me one anime other than Hamtaro season 2 that would pull that shit.

Beyond that, there isn’t too much to be hyped about. The fights are typical shounen bullshit where no one dies, and the Ham Hams look like rejected Black Butler characters.

But with the bold inclusion of some taboo themes in this episode (ain’t spoiling shit, but there’s sex) and a playfulness with pacing, I’d classify this as worth watching.

8/10.

 

 

Nobunagun

I don’t even care.

8/10.

 

 

Nobunaga the Fool

This is Nippon’s latest attempt to– oh my god I’m so bored just thinking about this show, fuck. Moving on.

3/10.

 

 

D-Frag!

You always fucking do this, Japan. You see something that works well and decide you’ve just gotta fuck it up.

Here’s how the anime starts:

 

Here’s how the manga starts (ignore the shitty translation):

 

You know how the anime handled this scene (that starts 3 and a half minutes in)?

See a fucking difference? Cuz I certainly do. If you’re gonna rape the characters. at least have the decency to wear a fucking condom, you sick fucks. They’re choking on your fucking fail jizz.

2/10.

 

 

Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta – The Pilot’s Love Song

You saw the poll, right? Okay, then that’s all the analysis you’re getting here.

Don’t glare; what the fuck did you expect? Nobody could stay sane through 13 anime comparisons in one post. Look what you’re doing to me ;_;

It’s good. Watch it. You liked Last Exile, right? 9/10.

 

 

SoniAni – Super Sonico the Animation

Another stupid, pandering show by Japan intended to appeal to those who have no concept of the difference between what people really look like and the plasticky, showy ideals of mass-market, sexist propaganda.

Objectifying and debasing, this show’s gender stereotypes of men are reviling, and just another example of the matriarchy’s commitment to keeping those of the male gender as nothing more than sex objects.

Because of this, I cannot in good conscience recommend Super Soni–

Oh my god, Suzu, you’re so hot. I don’t even care that you rudely interrupted my feminist parody, just fucking marry me. Goddamn.

10/10.

 

 

Space Dandy

It was okay, but why the fuck would anyone expect it to be omgreat? Japan and comedy don’t go together.

Politely smile your way through to the end and then say you liked it, even if you didn’t. Be a good anime fan and follow the routine.

Anime of the season/10.

 

 

Mikakunin de Shinkoukei – Engaged to the Unknown

I would like to introduce the Cute Face Theory: an anime’s quality can be objectively determined by its quantity of cute, hot, and/or exaggerated anime faces.

While the series hasn’t kicked into full gear yet (apparently bishie-san and his sister are aliens), it–

You know what, fuck it. Just watch it. If you’re not hooked by the first episode, you have no soul. It’s goddamn cute.

34/10

 

 

Noragami

Okay, you know the Cute Face Theory? Scrap that; Noragami sucks.

Not even Bones’ stacks of cash can save such a soulless series.

7/10

 

 

ZX Ignition

Allow me to quote a review from Digimon Adventure,

“Enjoyment: It’s not too often I can come back ten years later, watch a show, and enjoy it more than I did a decade ago, so Adventure deserves a ten in this department. When the creators said they wanted to make it a show that anyone of any age could enjoy, they were not kidding.”

I don’t remember watching Digimon Adventure, nor do I remember why I wanted to quote a Digimon Adventure review, but it’s these little things in life that make it worth living, don’t you think?

Inspiring/10.

 

 

Hozuki no Reitetsu

Say what you will about genital mutilation. At least it inspires some sense of emotion in the victim. Hozuki no Reitetsu is not nearly so kind.

Waps will say the show is hilarious. “You just don’t get it!” they’ll proclaim when you can’t even get through the first episode without falling asleep.”It’s based on Japanese culture so only true anime fans will get it!”

Yeah? What the fuck is there not to get, shitbards? You goddamn harp-playing spreaders of bad opinions and feces? Momotaro’s in hell and he wants to fight an ogre but he gets his ass kicked. And the joke lasts ten minutes. FUCKING GODDAMN FUNNY.

Please, move to Japan, Hozuki fans. Maybe they could use you and your opinions as fertilizer or something.

Hozuki fans/10.

 

 

Chuu2-2

This should have never gotten a second season.

Yeah, it’s enjoyable, and the dialogue is cool and I like the characters and dat animation…

but still.

1/10.

 

 

Thoughts, Graphed

Note that the score you see here is my overall impression of the anime. Also, I’m lying to you.

These scores are canon.

Tags: Anime Opinions, Article, Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! Ren, D-Frag!, Hamtaro Season 2, Hozuki no Reitetsu, ImoCho - Recently My Sister is Unusual, Mikakunin de Shinkoukei, Nobunaga the Fool, Nobunagun, Noragami, Space Dandy, Super Sonico the Animation, Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta, Z/X Ignition