Winter 2014 W2: There’s no way I can keep up with this shit

Anime Opinions, Article — By on January 10, 2014 5:23 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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The most interesting part of the season will be tracking how long it takes until I finally break down. In the meantime, I have to talk about 13 animes in one post.

Spoilers: The point of these posts isn’t to give you my opinions. It’s for you to get indignant about how we don’t match up perfectly. But did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m right? That maybe my years of anime experience have left me with superior anime reviewing powers? That maybe… it’s you who has the bad taste?

Food for thought.

“That sure as heck is some deep shit to lay on me all at once, D_S.”

Well, let’s see if I can’t convince you over the course of this post.


ImoCho – Recently, My Sister is Unusual

Is this really supposed to be hot?

Is this really supposed to be hot?

Know what I call a bastardized manga adaptation that only managed to get me hard for about 30 seconds?

A 9 out of 10.

Yeah, baby~

Yeah, baby~



Hamtaro Season 2

My, how this franchise has grown up. It’s like Darker than Black, but with more bishies.

Hamtaro Season 2 - Bishie Mode

Fuck yeah, pockets.

The thing that really stuck me on the show is how they handled a freak-out late into the episode. Instead of having a character give an inspiring speech or slap the character into sense, like every goddamn anime ever, the situation was defused with awkward comedy. And then completely fucking ignored. I mean, really, name me one anime other than Hamtaro season 2 that would pull that shit.

Beyond that, there isn’t too much to be hyped about. The fights are typical shounen bullshit where no one dies, and the Ham Hams look like rejected Black Butler characters.

Hamtaro vs Kuroshitsuji

Taking Ciel x Sebastian literally

But with the bold inclusion of some taboo themes in this episode (ain’t spoiling shit, but there’s sex) and a playfulness with pacing, I’d classify this as worth watching.





Nobunagun - Holy balls that gun is fucking awesome



I don’t even care.




Nobunaga the Fool

A falsity if I ever heard one.

A falsity if I ever heard one.

This is Nippon’s latest attempt to– oh my god I’m so bored just thinking about this show, fuck. Moving on.





You always fucking do this, Japan. You see something that works well and decide you’ve just gotta fuck it up.

Here’s how the anime starts:

"The two meeting is just fate. He's such a nice guy and she's such a clumsy girl. Gosh darn don't you just want to root for this couple?"

“The two meeting here is just fate. He’s such a nice guy and she’s such a clumsy girl. Gosh darn don’t you just want to root for this couple?”


Here’s how the manga starts (ignore the shitty translation):

Page 12 - Dfrag

Page 13 - Dfrag


You know how the anime handled this scene (that starts 3 and a half minutes in)?

D-Frag - Do you see this fucking bullshit

D-Frag - Why don't you just burn the goddamn manga while you're at it you monsters

D-Frag - Goddamn fuck you Japan fuck you

See a fucking difference? Cuz I certainly do. If you’re gonna rape the characters. at least have the decency to wear a fucking condom, you sick fucks. They’re choking on your fucking fail jizz.




Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta – The Pilot’s Love Song

Toaru Hikuushi e no Koiuta - Mad Face

You know he’s mad cuz his eyes turned purple.

You saw the poll, right? Okay, then that’s all the analysis you’re getting here.



Don’t glare; what the fuck did you expect? Nobody could stay sane through 13 anime comparisons in one post. Look what you’re doing to me ;_;

It’s good. Watch it. You liked Last Exile, right? 9/10.



SoniAni – Super Sonico the Animation

Another stupid, pandering show by Japan intended to appeal to those who have no concept of the difference between what people really look like and the plasticky, showy ideals of mass-market, sexist propaganda.

Objectifying and debasing, this show’s gender stereotypes of men are reviling, and just another example of the matriarchy’s commitment to keeping those of the male gender as nothing more than sex objects.

Ladies, we men are more than just a suit and a mask.

Ladies, we men are more than just a suit and a mask.

Because of this, I cannot in good conscience recommend Super Soni–

SoniAni - Suzu Best Girl

Oh my god, Suzu, you’re so hot. I don’t even care that you rudely interrupted my feminist parody, just fucking marry me. Goddamn.




Space Dandy

Marry Me Space Candy

Cut me deeper, Space Candy.

It was okay, but why the fuck would anyone expect it to be omgreat? Japan and comedy don’t go together.

Politely smile your way through to the end and then say you liked it, even if you didn’t. Be a good anime fan and follow the routine.

Anime of the season/10.



Mikakunin de Shinkoukei – Engaged to the Unknown

Mikakunin de Shinkoukei -Fuwaa Face


I would like to introduce the Cute Face Theory: an anime’s quality can be objectively determined by its quantity of cute, hot, and/or exaggerated anime faces.

Mikakunin de Shinkoukei - Oh god does anyone else my ovaries please

Oh god he’s so bishiedorable. I wish he would care for me as much as he doesn’t care about anything~

While the series hasn’t kicked into full gear yet (apparently bishie-san and his sister are aliens), it–

You know what, fuck it. Just watch it. If you’re not hooked by the first episode, you have no soul. It’s goddamn cute.





Noragami - look at all this money we spent on nothing

Okay, you know the Cute Face Theory? Scrap that; Noragami sucks.

Not even Bones’ stacks of cash can save such a soulless series.




ZX Ignition

People die in this card game anime. It's rad.

People die in this card game anime. It’s rad.

Allow me to quote a review from Digimon Adventure,

“Enjoyment: It’s not too often I can come back ten years later, watch a show, and enjoy it more than I did a decade ago, so Adventure deserves a ten in this department. When the creators said they wanted to make it a show that anyone of any age could enjoy, they were not kidding.”

I don’t remember watching Digimon Adventure, nor do I remember why I wanted to quote a Digimon Adventure review, but it’s these little things in life that make it worth living, don’t you think?




Hozuki no Reitetsu

Say what you will about genital mutilation. At least it inspires some sense of emotion in the victim. Hozuki no Reitetsu is not nearly so kind.

Please, spare me your hilarity, Japan

No. Please. Spare me your japery, Japan

Waps will say the show is hilarious. “You just don’t get it!” they’ll proclaim when you can’t even get through the first episode without falling asleep.”It’s based on Japanese culture so only true anime fans will get it!”

Yeah? What the fuck is there not to get, shitbards? You goddamn harp-playing spreaders of bad opinions and feces? Momotaro’s in hell and he wants to fight an ogre but he gets his ass kicked. And the joke lasts ten minutes. FUCKING GODDAMN FUNNY.

Please, move to Japan, Hozuki fans. Maybe they could use you and your opinions as fertilizer or something.

Hozuki fans/10.




That silly chuuni~

That silly chuuni~

This should have never gotten a second season.

Turn the waterworks on if you must.

Turn the waterworks on if you must. Dark_Sage doesn’t care.

Yeah, it’s enjoyable, and the dialogue is cool and I like the characters and dat animation…

Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! Ren - Rend the World


but still.




Thoughts, Graphed

Note that the score you see here is my overall impression of the anime. Also, I’m lying to you.


These scores are canon.

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Anonymous says:

Your graphs give me a nose bleed :(

Dark_Sage says:

Sexy is what I aim for.

Solaristics says:

Eye cancer graph as always, D_S.

Dark_Sage says:

That’s what they said about Picasso’s work too, and look at him now.

Solaristics says:

six feet under? ( ¬‿¬)

I kid, I kid.

shcboomer says:

I feel that somewhere out there an artist is rolling around in his grave.

Qrius says:


What if Crymore is just a facade of some big power utility?

Blah says:

No Sakura Trick? D:

Dark_Sage says:

I’ll watch it in like an hour or something. Write-up next week. ~_~

Qrius says:

Too witty for me/10.

I like reading these “reaction posts” (or whatever this is) written by someone with more than half a brain, cause they give me a reason to check out shows I crossed out as not worth it…

Dark_Sage says:

Yeah, I pretty much threw a bunch of ideas into a blender and figured it’d work out. Next week I’m planning on something a little more standard.

Glad you pulled something out of it. I did hope to shed a little attention on a few shows that might be ignored this season.

Marow says:

How does it feel to end up being the best anime blog, Sage? I’m not even sure you should be proud.

Dark_Sage says:

And Dark_Sage wept, for there were no more worlds left to conquer.

Or maybe there are. CryCon, anyone?

Nyangoro says:

Not gonna lie, I didn’t even make it past he first paragraph.

Nyangoro says:

(I might be lying)

Dark_Sage says:

Oh u

Nyangoro says:

You’re gonna have to explain to me how Nobunaga the fool got a 3/10. I mean, I know it has 15th century heretic jiggle action, but that’s 2/10 at the most.

Dark_Sage says:

It comes across as more fujoshi pandering in a shounen guise… which ain’t usually a good combination (not that I care if a show’s fujobait or not; I loved Free for example). As mentioned here earlier, the scores in this post don’t match up with what I’d consider my actual scores. I’d give it a 6/10 so far, but I’m not really sold on where it’s going. The biggest problem is it’s setting itself up with a scope that I consider way too fucking wide.

The main characters are all apparently reincarnations of historical figures, and it’s set in a future where there’s like robots and space travel and shit. But all the events are supposed to be recreations of the events the historical characters went through. The idea is that Nobunaga Oda meets up with Joan of Arc, who he loved in a past life or something (or like she was one of his warriors, I dunno). And then romance. Also, Magellan, Leonardo DaVinci, and King Arthur are in the series.

The first episode wasn’t terrible, and it all sounds cool on paper, but I really, really, really do not trust Japan to not bite off more than they can chew here.

corocoro says:

So it’s like Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere?

Fuwaa says:

That explains >Noragami sucks. >7/10

I’m really glad I didn’t bother trying the D-Frag anime yet if they messed it up that badly…

I think you were too nice to Mikakunin de Shinkoukei, too. I would have only given it a 32/10 personally.

Deadlight says:

Man, you sure you’re going to be able to keep posting Anitourney rounds on a regular basis?

Dark_Sage says:

Uhh, regular-ish. The next round should be out tonight.

Dark_Sage says:

Disregard that. I got a couple blogs in and got so bored I fell asleep. Only got enough time left for a party tonight.

FalseDawn says:

Never seen Chuu2 but that one still deserves more than 1/10 at the very least. And the mention of Shrödinger’s Cat (everyone’s favourite thought experiment) must bump it up a place or two.

Speaking of decent art in a show, you should check out Pupa. The pacing is pretty dire and the dialog’s minimalistic to say the least, but the animation’s pretty atmospheric. And it’s only five minutes long, so you can make it 14 series in your blog posts without too much extra :effort:!

FalseDawn says:

By “one still”, I meant “one still image” – just realised how ambiguous that sounded when reading it back.

Dark_Sage says:

It’s not about the score; it’s about what I say. But if you’re hard on scores, you can check the Now_Watching tab.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh, and I don’t find much value in talking about the short animes. Just takes up more valuable space in the post.

But yes, I have seen Pupa. It was okay, but they couldn’t do much with the three minutes they had. The manga’s a better choice.

FalseDawn says:

Yeah, I really think they could have done a lot more with it if they’d had the time to actually develop the setting and the characters. At the moment, it’s a bit of a whistle-stop tour, but I’ll keep watching and hope they remake it into a longer series at some point.

Pelfmiester says:

Your scores here aren’t exactly consistant with your Now Watching scores, though general opinions of like/not like seem to be.

Dark_Sage says:

Huh. Funny that.

Pelfmiester says:

The only two series I’ve watched so far from this season are Imocho and D-Frag. Among others, I’d like to watch Nobunagun, Hamatora, and Toaru Hikuushi, but I’m really hoping someone picks them up besides HS.

Solaristics says:

I wouldn’t expect them to get picked up (Original TL wise). And if they do get picked, they’re gonna be CR edits.

Dark_Sage says:

Anime-Koi’s doing Hamtaro and Commie’s doing Toaru, so at least there’s that. Nobody’s up for Nobunagun though, which is a shame cuz it’s got that booty.

Pelfmiester says:

Shame since Nobunagun is the one the peaks my interest the most of those 3. Prior to watching at least.

Pelfmiester says:

And then you have series like Witch Craft Works and Sakura Trick being done by five different groups.

sandoe41 says:

RandomRemux and someone going by “orz” have picked up Nobunagun, DLing then now to see if they’re any good.

sandoe41 says:

[orz] Nobunagun 01 release turned out to be fairly well done, and it included the ED lyrics. RandonRemux was pretty much just a straight CR rip with a new encode.

Anon says:

You know, I was just thinking that since no one was doing Nobunagun maybe I should get my feet wet in fansubbing and do an edit of the CR release, but if someone else is doing it and it’s not shit there probably isn’t any need. Nothing else that looks any good seems to be for lack of subbers anymore too, so I guess I’ll just shelve that idea till next season.

Ash says:

The CR Nobunagun subs would be pretty okay if they didn’t GET THE MAIN CHARACTER’S NAME WRONG REPEATEDLY.

Ash says:

“What the fuck is there not to get, shitbards? You goddamn harp-playing spreaders of bad opinions and feces?”

I demand that every MMO in existence have the shitbard class.

El Huesudo II says:

I will never watch Space Dandy. Because I’m a REBEL.

Well, that and because I have no intentions of knowing just what does Japan think USA weeaboos like. I’ve seen enough Don Tacos commercials to know what they think about my people, so I’ll just extrapolate from there.

(it also helps that I despised the preair thing they did)

Enz says:

>Chu2 Ren

I see your taste is as shitty as ever, my dear DS-kun.

asterisk says:

Because Chu2 is as shitty as ever.

Bneundh says:

Winter 2014 is terrible IMO. Thankfully next season will be a saving grace. Kagepro anime FTW

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