Fakesub Review: [Anime-Koi] Hamtaro Season 2 (Episode 01)

Disqualified, Fansub Review — By on January 12, 2014 1:31 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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I’m a little confused that Solaristics edited this one, since he should probably know 10-minute edits get disqualified.

Since disq reviews are boring (unless it’s another release fucked up by herkz), I figured I’d compile a list of every change in the script and bucket them into nice little categories. And then bore you even more with stupid reams of text.

 

Adequate, but unnecessary

This is a list of edits that changed little or added nothing to the script. This includes standardization (making sure punctuation/honorifics/ align with what the editor feels is best for the show) and minor flavor additions (adding “very”, “even”, “just” etc. to lines).

The changes A-Koi made in this section were generally for the better, but not to the point where it should affect your subtitle choice. Note that there is no analysis in this spoiler other than a list.

Spoiler:

Original:
Our day-to-day lives are replete with both happiness and misfortune.
Anime-Koi:
Our day-to-day lives are brimming with both happiness and misfortune.

~

Original:
Come on!
Anime-Koi:
Move it!

~

Original:
You call it an office,
but I’m just renting you one of my tables.
Anime-Koi:
You call it an office,
but I’m only renting you one of my tables.

~

Original:
So, they have requested that we, the Hamatora,
Anime-Koi:
Therefore, they have requested that we, the Hamatora,

~

Original:
Here’s the raw egg I’d put in earlier.
Anime-Koi:
And here’s the raw egg I’d put in earlier.

~

Original:
The job we’ll take is…
Anime-Koi:
The job we’ll be taking will be…

~

Original:
Did you hear a word of what I said?
Anime-Koi:
Did you even listen to a word I said?

~

Original:
This is why you can’t even afford dinner.
Anime-Koi:
This is exactly why you can’t even afford to have dinner.

~

Original:
I… I’ve got dinner covered! I’ll have some of Hajime-chan’s milk.
Anime-Koi:
I-I’ve got dinner covered! I’ll just have some of Hajime-chan’s milk.

~

Original:
Ugh! Is anyone listening to me?!
Anime-Koi:
God! Is anyone even listening to me?!

~

Original:
What’s inside?
Even I don’t know that.
Anime-Koi:
What’s inside?
Even I am unsure of that.

~

Original:
You can’t just force it open?
Anime-Koi:
Can’t you force it open?

~

Original:
but I’d never sell it to you for 30 yen!
Anime-Koi:
but I’d never sell it to you for a measly 30 yen!

~

Original:
Well, I’ll pick up the tab.
Anime-Koi:
Well then, I’ll pick up the tab.

~

Original:
Hey, this bitch’d better know the deal!
“This bitch’d better know the deal”?
Anime-Koi:
Hey, this bitch had better know the deal!
“This bitch had better know the deal”?

~

Original:
Have you heard of the egg of Columbus?
Anime-Koi:
Have you heard of the “egg of Columbus?”

~

Original:
That info’d better be legit.
Anime-Koi:
T-That info had better be legit.

~

Original:
You are safe here.
Anime-Koi:
You’re safe here.

~

Original:
it’s entirely possible that he’ll reveal it while he is asleep.
Anime-Koi:
it’s entirely possible that he’ll reveal it while he’s asleep.

~

Original:
and Toyosaki-shi’s condition,
Anime-Koi:
and Mr. Toyosaki’s condition,

~

Original:
All the victims must have had a relationship with your father.
Anime-Koi:
All the victims must’ve had a relationship with your father.

~

Original:
I’d just learned my job, so I was really psyched about it.
Anime-Koi:
I had just learned my job, so I was really psyched about it.

~

Original:
You were so strict toward me,
Anime-Koi:
You were always strict toward me,

~

Original:
I didn’t want to know about your sex life!
What should I do, now that I do know?
Anime-Koi:
I didn’t want to know about your sex life!
What am I supposed to do, now that I know?

~

Original:
What? Why do I have to?
Anime-Koi:
What? Why should I?

~

Original:
I still think we should tell them.
About the serial killer
targeting Minimum Holders.
Anime-Koi:
I still think we should tell them.
About the serial killer…
targeting Minimum Holders.

 

 

Good

These are all the lines I found where Solaristics made good edits to the script. Minor analysis will be provided.

Normally I would include pictures here, but this topic is likely boring enough to scare off anyone but the most nerdy English nerds, so I’m gonna save some time and skip that.

Spoiler:

Original:
Don’t yell in my own store.
Anime-Koi:
Don’t yell inside my store.

I winced when I came across this line in the HorribleSubs release. Good fix.

~

Original:
We have one.
Even two of them.
The first one is a request to capture the one responsible
for the serial kidnappings of female college students in this area recently.
The second is a request from a well-established family
Anime-Koi:
We have one.
Two of them at that.
The first request is to capture the one responsible
in the recent serial kidnappings of female college students in this area.
As for the second request, it’s from a well-established family

While I’m not keen on the last line’s change, dropping the double use of “one” in the third line was a smart move.

~

Original:
There are many things in this world that no one should ever know.
Anime-Koi:
There are some things in this world that are better left unknown.

Far better phrased in Anime-Koi’s. It’s much more in tune with how I’ve seen the thought written before.

~

Original:
We wouldn’t be in the PI business if we were afraid of risks, right, Nice?
Anime-Koi:
We wouldn’t be in the PI business if we were afraid of such risks, right, Nice?

The “such” is an important addition as it refers to a specific risk (in this case, fighting other Minimum Holders) rather than risks in general (I assume they didn’t factor in the risk of getting hit by one of Kim Jong’s dolphin-delivered nuclear bombs into their work, for example).

~

Original:
She just finished it.
Anime-Koi:
And there goes the milk.

A-Koi’s is more comedic and thus fits the scene better.

~

Original:
We were good friends,
but we just didn’t hear anything like that.
Anime-Koi:
We were good friends,
but we never heard anything like that.

Poorly phrased in CR’s version.

~

Original:
What do you think you’re doing to our precious client, scum?
Anime-Koi:
What do you think you’re doing to our precious client, shithead?

Scumbag would’ve been fine, but scum alone is earcancerous. Good switch.

~

Original:
I developed this weird habit of writing down any numbers I hear right away.
Anime-Koi:
I developed this weird habit of writing down any number I hear right away.

This is debatable, but I like the use of “number” over “numbers” here because it implies she only writes down what she registers as important. “numbers” would take into account much more than just the use of “number” does.

~

Original:
Oh, I know who you are.
Anime-Koi:
Oh, now I know who you are.

It’s a simple addition, but it keeps the logic of the scene flowing smoother. Cause-and-effect is better highlighted.

 

 

Solaristics, please

10-minute edits are as much a sign of laziness as they are of incompetence. Edits like what I’m going to point out here are exactly why I caution people to be wary of disqualified releases.

Solar: a one-pass edit doesn’t cut it. You need to spend at least an hour on these scripts.

Spoiler:

Original:
Sometimes, I just think…
…this world has surpassed its capacity. It’s overflowing.
Anime-Koi:
Sometimes, I just think…
…this world is already overflowing at its maximum capacity.

Sometimes it’s best not to try to simplify shitty Japanese philosophy as an editor. You “can’t overflow at maximum capacity”. I think you’d have been better off grabbing a TLC for this one specific section and gathering what the intent behind it was… to give it a massive rewrite. The whole section needs to go, but making it worse isn’t doing anybody any favors.

~

Original:
In other words…
you can’t withdraw coins from an ATM.
Anime-Koi:
In other words…
withdrawing coins from an ATM is impossible.

I really don’t want to think you heard the Japanese word for impossible here and felt compelled to shoehorn the word into the subs, but… that’s what you did, isn’t it?

The line you went with simply doesn’t fit the confines of normal human speech. “impossible” is inaccurate, since it is possible if the companies wanted to do it. They just don’t offer the option. Therefore it’s more a matter of “can’t”.

~

Original:
But this is also our office, the Hamatora.
Anime-Koi:
But this is also Hamatora’s office.

At this point, the viewer doesn’t know what Hamatora is. You’re supposed to be telling them. But the way you have it phrased indicates that Hamatora is a person, when it is actually the name of their detective agency.

The easiest fix would be to change your line to “But this is also our office.” because the next cut is to the “Hamatora Private Investigations Office” sign.

~

Original:
Why didn’t you speak up sooner if you were here in the first place, Murasaki?
Anime-Koi:
Say something sooner if you’re here, Murasaki.

Solar, no. The editor does not TL. This is because the editor is rarely equipped to do anything but a shit-ass job at the gig. Making lines more generic and Japanesey is a no-good, very bad thing.

~

Original:
she seemed to be doing just fine money-wise.
Anime-Koi:
she seemed to be doing just fine in terms of money.

It’s not like the new line is wrong, but why the fuck would you change it? Learn some vocab; money-wise is a thing, and that’s how the term would be used in natural dialogue.

~

Original:
the safe’s contents will be set on fire and incinerated.
Anime-Koi:
the safe’s contents will be set ablaze and incinerated beyond recognition.

“incinerated beyond recognition”? That’s redundant. It’s like saying you’d kill something to death.

~

Original:
…none of them lacked for money.
Anime-Koi:
…none of them had money problems.

This isn’t the same thing. The edit you made gives a less accurate portrayal of the sugar daddy situation that’s going on in the show.

~

Original:
It was never two jobs to begin with, but one… the same case.
Anime-Koi:
It was never two jobs to begin with, but one in the same.

I can only assume you misheard your mental voice of “one and the same” as “one in the same”.

~

Original:
Cars aren’t meant to be thrown.
Anime-Koi:
Trucks aren’t meant to be thrown.

He’s talking about both the truck the guy’s holding in this scene and the car he threw earlier. “Cars” is general enough to work just fine, but if you must change it, go with something like “vehicles”.

I’d hesitate to call this a bad line, but the logic behind the edit was wrong enough that it needs to be pointed out.

~

Original:
They’re for driving.
Anime-Koi:
They’re for driving, you know.

Why would you add “you know” here?

 

I don’t want to hear any sob stories about how Crunchyroll’s script super omg fantastic either. Here’s some absurdly low-hanging fruit you could have picked:

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_08.07_[2014.01.11_21.30.02]

The master’s dead. You’d use “late” here.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_10.13_[2014.01.11_21.33.13]

“the deal”? That’s ridiculously vague and implies that she had made an agreement with these guys or their bosses. They’re trying to figure out if she knows the code.

Obviously at this point in the show it needs to obscured that that’s what they’re looking for, but “Hey, this bitch had better give us what we need!” gives a far more accurate portrayal of the situation.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.33_[2014.01.11_21.38.02] [Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.38_[2014.01.11_21.38.15] [Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.40_[2014.01.11_21.40.35]

This needs way too much logic connecting to make much sense on a first watch. Change “ground beef” to “patties”.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.46_[2014.01.11_21.40.05]

How did you let this cancer slip by you?

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.50_[2014.01.11_21.41.35] [Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.53_[2014.01.11_21.41.41] [Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_14.54_[2014.01.11_21.41.52]

As a two-word question, “What kind?” would be much better. A number of things is just an amount.

I’d go with a leading phrase myself, “More specifically…”

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_16.01_[2014.01.11_21.43.08]

  • a bad move
  • the wrong move

Not hard.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_16.57_[2014.01.11_21.44.41]

Way way way too generic for this scene. Remember that this line is what makes him freak the fuck out — his dad’s been fucking college-age girls. It needs to be stated directly or heavily implied that the relationships were sexual in nature.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_18.31_[2014.01.11_21.47.16]

“You think you’re hot shit, huh?”

Please add some humanity into the goddamn dialogue.

[Anime-Koi] Hamatora - 01 [h264-720p][B8E1BB68].mkv_snapshot_20.27_[2014.01.11_21.49.51]

Fucking hell.

 

These are just a few lines as examples. If you had actually done a full, 2-pass or 3-pass edit, these would have been changed around effortlessly. Come the fuck on.

 

 

If you’re wondering what a real edit looks like, check out Commie’s Chuu2-2:

Commie vs Crunchyroll - Chuu2-2

Compare that to Anime-Koi’s Hamtaro:

Anime-Koi vs Crunchyroll - Hamtaro Season 2

 

This is what most groups do when they edit, and it’s what they should do. Get your shit together, A-Koi.

 

Grade:
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33 Comments

Kamica says:

Fakesub reviews are just as helpful to me as regular fansub reviews. So I can appreciate all the effort you put into this review. I’d have to guess that this particular review took about as long to put together as a regular fansub review.

Dark_Sage says:

Glad to hear it. Also, it depends on the review. I’m usually not invested enough in a fakesub release to bother putting more than, say, half the time of a regular post into it.

This one though… yeah, I didn’t expect the whole “grab every comparison and then divvy them up” would take as long as it did. But I saved time by making it far less accessible to the average reader, so there’s that.

dutchah says:

Seconded. It’s fun watching you rip into truly bad subs. Bonus points if it’s a Hadena release, they seem to bring out the best in you.

sjoe says:

I was under the impression that they would be doing an original TL episode 2 onwards and that only ep.1 was to be a CR edit…?

Dark_Sage says:

That was for Buddy Complex. They make no mention of an original TL for this show. Here’s how they had their staff list:

Translator: CR
Translation Checker: Gen424
Editor: Solaristics
Timer: Dao
Encoder: jacques

Nice TLC there, Gen.

sjoe says:

Oh sorry, my bad! Anyway I liked this detailed analysis of yours. It may look like you are paying too much attention to nuances, but these things can really change the flow of a sentence.

begna112 says:

Wow. Picking on individual subbers outside of the comments. Not actually sure I’ve seen that except in one case where they put their names into the subs for credit.

Dark_Sage says:

I bring in names when it makes sense to how I’m writing lines. It’s not uncommon at all.

I also don’t see how directed criticism is bullying (and I only even went this far into detail because I like Solar), but you’re entitled to be as retarded as you feel is necessary.

begna112 says:

I was just surprised is all. ┐(‘~`;)┌

I did consider it was perhaps that your intention was to start shaming the fakesub editors personally to discourage the practice.

Mitsukai says:

>If you’re wondering what a real edit looks like, check out Commie’s Chuu2-2:

I find this statement rather amusing considering Commie does this whole “rip without really doing any editing” thing almost all the time themselves, most recently with Nobunaga the Fool (which you yourself pointed out). Real shame that consistency (for doing things right) isn’t one of their fortes.

Dark_Sage says:

Yeah, that was one of the reasons why I picked that specific edit. When your group is showed up by one that only edits half the time, it’s probably not a good sign.

Also, Xythar-edited scripts tend to do well by my standards, so it actually would be a good script to check for decent editing practices.

Solaristics says:

Xythar is a good editor and tends to change a lot in the script.

Solaristics says:

No real excuse from me, but that I did a pretty poor job. I did a 1-pass edit and only 4-5 lines were TLC (that I asked for). No QC (at least it’s not listed.) But yeah, after I watched it again when it was released, I noticed a ton of errors and stuff that could’ve easily been fix.

XiaYixuan says:

Why do some people watch their own stuff after release?

Fyurie says:

Hell, with some groups, you’d think they didn’t watch it before release either.

Solaristics says:

‘Cause they do. Anyways, as I said before, should’ve done 2-3 passes.

XiaYixuan says:

K. Seems like some things just can’t be justified by logic.

Solaristics says:

More like me just being dumb. I don’t know about others.

TheUberAsian says:

You should do Sekai Seifuku next… I’m having a hard time choosing between FFF and Cthuko.

Dark_Sage says:

Looks like more people want to see Sakura Trick so that’s what I’m going for first.

Solaristics says:

Let’s be honest here, D_S. I bet you would’ve done Sakura first anyways.

Akatsukin says:

If you’re doing episode 1 be sure to grab the v1.5 patch for us (which yes, I renamed improperly because it was nearly 3am that night). We didn’t make a new torrent because… no real reason, actually. We probably should soon.

Dark_Sage says:

I only review public releases. Patches released on websites don’t reach the same audience that v2s on torrent trackers do, so I don’t review those.

Not that it’ll matter to you. The only 01s I review are Fakesubs.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh, you meant for the TL Party. Same basic rules there. If it’s a full release v2, I’ll use that script. If not, then I won’t.

Lumina says:

How about “Bit*h Craft Works”?

Dark_Sage says:

No way. My mommy would never let me use language so foul!

Solaristics says:

“One in the same.” Welp. Just like how did “should of” instead of “should’ve” a while back, I’m typing words down before I even think about them because they sound similar. Most of the stuff you pointed out could’ve easily been fixed with another pass or two. Oh well.

XiaYixuan says:

That’s the drawback to being a native. Natives even write “suppose to” instead of “supposed to.” Now imagine if you’d be an Aussie…

XiaYixuan says:

OK, it’s more like no one’s perfect. You can delete it D_S.

HyakuPercent says:

Was that line supposed to make fun of Aussies? Because I don’t get it at all. (I’m an Aussie btw)

XiaYixuan says:

Not really making fun. Some mispellings made by Aussies were pointed out to me by a non-Aussie guy ~22 months ago so I can’t recall it but it probably had (something) to do with misspellings made due to speaking English in a non-r(h)ot(h)ic way. Anyway, as I implied after second thought, not only do native speakers of certain (all?) English dialects misspell words in a way that seems illogical to intermediate ESL students; it’s vice-versa.

No More says:

Well, i think i’ll go with HS.
It’s just like… Commie’s minimalistic editing…?

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