This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.
Damn do I love me some Huniepop.
Heads-up: If you start clicking the spoilers at the end of the review, it’s gonna get real NSFW, real quick. So make sure to only read this post with parental supervision.
The premise
You’re a forever alone [boy/girl] who starts the game by creeping on some chick in a bar.
But instead of drying her crotch up with your awkwardness, your pathetic attempt at human interaction inspires her to put on a fairy outfit and become your personal dating adviser (and potential lover, ofc).
It gets fun.
The script/voice acting
This is the star of the show. It’s like watching the Panty & Stocking dub. Sorta.
Unfortunately, after the spectacular intro scenes, the sole character interaction is between you and the girls. And while they do expand upon the girls’ personalities from the introduction, the short interactions don’t stand on their own.
Kinda sucks, cuz you can tell the characters are more interesting than they’re given the opportunity to be.
The problem (the gameplay)
Huniepop is probably the most difficult match-3 game to ever exist.
When I set the difficulty of a game down to easy, I expect it to be easy. I don’t expect to spend hour after hour trapped in a maze of frustration, just so I can see some fucking anime tits. The gameplay is a complete cockblock.
Sure. Maybe I suck, but maybe I shouldn’t have to spend 20 hours on a 5-hour game. And maybe the people who play this for the deep gameplay could fuck off so I can get off. I just wish this was a straight dating sim so I didn’t have to deal with the puzzle bullshit.
Now, to Huniepop’s credit, it was pretty damn enjoyable when I wasn’t spinning my wheels. To illustrate that, have a video where I ended up spinning my wheels:
Maybe a “retard’s first vidya” setting next time, guys?
The best girls, ranked (obv the most important part of the game)
Remember how I said at the start of the review that things were gonna get NSFW? Well, the uncensored CGs are in the spoilers. And please, for the love of your god, if you get off to this… make sure to think of me. I can get jealous sometimes. <3
1. Kyanna
UrbanDictionary puts it better than I ever could.
2. Audrey
Complete and utter bitch. But she let me cum on her hair, so I know our love is true.
3. Nikki
Nikki’s that girl who constantly bitches about how bitchy everyone but she is. That lack of self-awareness… what a fucking aphrodisiac. And I don’t have to deal with her bullshit out of game? Even better.
4. Kyu
A love fairy who calls her butt plug “fairy tail”?
5. Aiko
She called me racist after I gave her chopsticks. Sold. <3
6. Lola
“I sure like to travel and go on fancy vacations.”
Find someone who can afford you then. Still have her at number 6, cuz she’s way kawaii.
7. Beli
Fuck you, Beli. You were the first girl I wanted to go after, but I kept failing your fucking dates so you ended up being the last one. And yes, I am putting this all on you. Lower your fucking standards, bitch.
8. Jessie
She’s 36, but still called me daddy. Goddamn, is she great.
9. Celeste
Nipple clamps can be cool.
10. Tiffany
If you tend to order “plain cheese” pizza or a “hamburger with nothing on it”, you’re boring enough to be interested in Tiffany.
11. Venus
Don’t let the CG fool ya, this girl doesn’t even have enough personality to pull apathetic off. Disappointed.
12. Momo
While her second CG is the best in the game, Momo is such an annoying bitch I began praying for an option to strangle her with her chain so she would stop whinging at me with her fucking broken voice. All she does is go on and on about her fucking cat facts.
Have a sample of the shit I had to put up with:
No, I don’t know anything about kitties, and I don’t care. Unsubscribe.
The conclusion
Yes, I recommend this game. Highly, even.
It’s $10 on Steam, via the HumbleWidget on the Huniepop site, or MangaGamer. The Steam version is censored, whereas the latter two are uncensored, DRM free, and come with Steam codes.
But if you wanna play the uncensored version on Steam (like I did with Nekopara), all you need to do is drop this 0-byte file (right-click, save as) in your Steam installation folder.
I’ve been told running the DRM-free version just once will uncensor the game on Steam, but that seems a bit too magical to actually work.
Every right handed [male] mouse user became left handed during this review.
Being left-handed but using mice right-handed is so great.
Had a feeling that might *cum* up.
That fucking Momo voice, kill self, pls.
This also reminded me of another dating game I saw on VNDB not long but I can’t remember for the life of me which it was.
Actually, found it:
https://vndb.org/v1953
Haven’t played it though.
Must.Not.Fap.
*Thinks of D_S*
Goddamnit
*Faps*
Nnnngh. Match 3 games are my weakness. Please say it’s not PC-only!
It’s PC only
Looks like Windows, Mac, and Linux support, according to the Steam page.
Say goodbye to my productivity at work!
why does the hair keep changing? Audrey’s original hair is best but it changes to short blonde and then long red. Confusing.
You can dress the girls up in-game. Guess in the CGs they just wanted to reflect some of the options. Here’s all the choices for Audrey:
DLing now, will check back in later (if I’m still alive, lol)
Your taste is shit, Beli is the best.
Nuuu! Nikki is BEST girl!
Kyu is getting a new CG for valentines
To be honest, I found the game’s difficulty to be rather balanced (even on Hard) until really late in the game. You reach a point where the speed matching becomes impossible, since your score degrades at a rate that would require something like 3 matches a second to overcome. But up until then, if you skill properly and approach each match with the correct mindset and items, you should be able to get through it even on hard difficulty.
Yeah, I can see why you were gunning for that chain option.
Kamisama 2 – commie x anime koi, please >….<
Another video game review? Okay.
no, it’s anime, but for video game review i want Long Live the Queen.>…..<
You want onahole reviews? I’m interested in some too.
what’s onahole?
Anime vagina’s (https://blog.onahole.eu/)
‘ – ‘
I second onahole reviews
I expect you to get on it.
Still waiting for those furry doujins….
I’m a busy girl.
Please this. I want to buy one but I need someone to tell me what’s good.
Pls, D_S.
We talking like different brands here? This could get expensive. I’d almost need to Kickstarter it.
This is coming from the guy who is buying a second home so he has place to store all his buyfag stuff. RHE must’ve rubbed off on you, D_S!
It’s called “frot”.
Gross. Can you even imagine? It’d be so hard to play the game together that way.
No, I was thinking me and Jesus sitting side by side, Jesus taking the (mouse) wheel with his right hand, stroking my dick with his left, and then me stroking his dick with my right, and texting how hashtag swag this is with my left. This way we could enjoy the game together (and actually watch/play it) in a rather sensible manner.
Nekopara Link brings up a 404
I… wow, how did I fuck that one up? Thanks. Fix’d.
And now it loops back to this post. Good job, Drunk_sage!
I have no excuse. God damn. ._.
That’s what happens when you delete posts in a hurry…
Speaking of deleting posts, I caught a glimpse of that Youtube review, get jealous.
A glimpse? Wish I had caught only a glimpse too. Those precious ~15 minutes of my life are never coming back – not to speak of the hours of therapy I’m gonna need if I ever want to forget the experience…
Please link, please.
How much are you offering?
Don’t tease that poor anon, the vid’s long gone.
(I do have that post archived, though.)
At least tell me what the video was about!
Western kusoge. (It was Japanese, but still.)
Well it was valuable feedback, and thank you for your candid response. My ego got ahead of my common sense and that particular mistake won’t happen again.
It certainly was an interesting way to spice things up… Would’ve been better (?) if you lowered the background volume in the parts with you speaking.
Indeed, I was going to comment on this before the post was deleted, pretty obvious you never did it before too, and making videos isn’t something you’re naturally good at, wouldn’t really recommend switching things up now either.
>implying there are things D_S isn’t naturally good at
B-blasphemy! :)
Hey D_S Are you going to add Kyu’s New valentines day update CG? Please do it they aren’t anywhere online and lest face it nobody buys this game for the Puzzles
I didn’t like Huniepop. Probably because I expected an actual VN with like, plot and stuff.
There is no actual plot, character development or satisfying backstory. Talking to the heroines is just a simple Q&A that 1) gets old quickly, and 2) loses all purpose besides filling out each girl’s details page (assuming it contributes to the 100% completion) once you get enough hunie to buy all the upgrades.
The “realistic” writing got old after the first hour or so. The CGs were kinda hit and miss for me. Further on the topic of CGs, they had no satisfying context behind them–no important plot point or reason behind them other than “great, you were able to beat the game, here’s some (sometimes shitily drawn) porn/a drawing.”
Anyway, that’s just what I thought of it, but it’s really my fault since this entire time (since the huniepop writing video first came out) I was expecting a vn.
By the way, was there a point in getting all the girls’ panties in your inventory? What about the tissue box? I didn’t know what to do with them.
Oh, and 10/10 taste. Kyanna best girl.
I haven’t played the game, but I’ve seen enough gameplay to know that Kyu and Tiffany are my favorite girls out of the twelve, both of them have such cute voices and Kyu is a very naughty and horny fairy, which would allow me to get along with her so well because I’m very naughty and horny all the time too. Tiffany is a adorable and innocent school girl and love when she says: “what’s shakin’ bacon?” And “Hey you!” She also has a very nice shaved pussy, Kyu too.
Good to know.