Charlotte: Better Than the Queen, Worse Than the City, About as Good as the Cake

Anime Opinions, Article, Summer 2015 — By on August 26, 2015 8:53 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Spoilers up to episode 8, but it’s another masterpiece article by me-sama, so read on anyway.


The Drama

With scenes like this, you'd better believe there is.

With scenes like this, you’d better believe there’s gonna be a shitton.

Primarily characterized by incessant reminders that you should be sad, Key series attempt to instill emotion in viewers by building up boring characters and then tearing them right the fuck down.

And sometimes they deserve it.

And sometimes they deserve it.

Though it feels like Key’s following a good template for Charlotte, the inefficient pacing/direction keeps it from living up to its potential.

"The times when you saw only one footprint in the sand... Those were the times when I carried you. #Deep #MemesForJesus"

“The times when you saw only one set of footprints in the sand… Those were the times when I carried you.” #Deep #MemesForJesus

Nearly every Key moment™ that would seem good on paper fails to impress in the anime. But rather than just taking my word for it, let’s go through the fucking list:


Episodes 1-5

On paper: Characters & relationships are developed so that when the tragedies kick in, they will have legitimate impact on the viewers.

In reality: Nothing but filler.

What the fuck purpose did this guy even serve?

What the fuck purpose did this guy serve?


Episode 6

On paper: The best character in the show accidentally kills herself while trying to avoid a yandere Nevada-chan, and MC-kun desperately tries to save her but finds himself far too late to help.

In reality: Both characters are “killed off” super awkwardly, to the point that you just have to assume they’re both alive, cuz if even Game of Thrones is shitting the bed on this front, who has any expectations for Japan?

This kind of an ending is the equivalent of

This kind of an ending is the equivalent of a half-hearted handy. Thanks for trying, but really, you shouldn’t have.

For full impact, MC-kun shouldn’t have factored into the ending, and lolimouto should’ve died in episode 6, not in the opening scenes of ep 7. I’m watching the show for tears, not a semi-hard dick that I don’t feel like finishing off but emotionlessly do so anyway cuz that’s what being an adult means.


Episode 7

We’ve been over this. And also, R2 should never be emulated unless you plan on turning the MC into a god-king martyr that single-handedly redeems the anime genre with the sheer sumptuous fucking brilliance of his death scene.

Emperor of Ramen

Unfortunately I don’t think Charlotte’s MC-kun is gonna become the Emperor of Ramen.


Episode 8

On paper: Super Hot Blind Chick, who’s also the vocalist for a thematically critical band, fucks bitches and gets paid.

In reality: SHBC wastes an entire day mentoring MC Piece of Shit’s emo ass.


She’s so hot tho.


It’s all pretty much a joke at this point, and I’m almost out of hope for this emotional roller coaster to bring me where I wanna be. But luckily there’s another component to the show that doesn’t suffer from poor direction…



The Character Interactions


Charlotte’s mediocre melodrama is boosted significantly by the characters and how they interact with one another. Though, I should clarify that I’m mainly referring to the slapstick, since the only on-screen chemistry comes from the characters fucking each other’s days up.


Or, of course, Yusa being Yusa.


I find it hard to even crack a smile at most series these days, but damned if each episode of Charlotte doesn’t find me grinning like an idiot at the same joke being repeated over and over cuz the Stockholm Syndrome has my brain turned to dough. And I mean that in a good way.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this is what fucking Inou-Battle was supposed to be.

This show, since I'm sure you've forgotten the shitty name.

Remember this piece of shit? Yeah, turns out Trigger can do wrong.

Likable characters getting into shenanigans: that’s about all you need. Well, except for…



Nao’s Fucking Mouth, Man


That’s what I’m talking about.

And the words that come out of it too…

Oh. My. God.

Puddi was well within his rights to turn his phone background into her open-mouth bitch face, cuz goddamn. When I got to see it in action at AniRevo, I was pitching more tents than a fucking boy scout camp.

I just want her to fucking breathe on me.

I just want her to fucking breathe on me.

It’s like Japan invents new fetishes every day, and as a legitimate anime journalist, I have no choice but to line up for my serving. Top job, Key, you sick fucks. Top job.




Charlotte’s not a good anime by objective measures, and I think everyone knows it. But it’s so endearing in spite of that, and Nao’s mouth is so hot, that I don’t feel ashamed for looking past its faults.


Currently, I gotta peg Charlotte at a solid 8. But when the inevitable Nao-related drama hits (you know it’s gonna be brutal), I’ll boost its score by 1 for each of my eyes that shed tears. Don’t let me down, Key.

Do it for her.

Do it for her (mouth).


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PP says:

Shorten that webm a bit for wehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehwehweh hhnngg-ness.

It’s funny how this show had their characters almost dying all the time and then bam, someone who was never involved in such jokes actually dies, good job guys, just good job.

The first episode was really good and the humor has still hold on pretty well even if it has gotten a bit repetitive but it’s still a whatever show, I liked episode 7 with MC’s depression was a bit over the top at time but was executed well.

Also, their execuse for a plot is fucking pathetic, I swear to fucking god if I hear about these “evil scientists” once more I will be the one who is going to develop some sort of power. Seriously what a joke, not to mention it’s super incoherent “don’t use your powers in from of people!.. unless you’re us, the MCs, then it’s perfectly ok”, “you’re perfectly safe in this school…” *proceeds to warn someone to not use their powers in school*.

QQwerty says:

>They said I could be anything/ so I became pizza sauce

Oh, wow.

xikarra says:


jymmy says:

>spend an article tearing a shit series apart
Every time.

Denmark says:

Shit taste confirmed.

anon says:

8/10… fuck you, DS, stop being such a pleb scum.

3/10 tops, upgrade your taste, cancerous cunt.

lizard says:

g8 b8 m8

blargnobia says:

But it’s Nevada-tan, not -chan! (not that I know the difference.)

Dark_Sage says:

Shit. Will have to fix that when I get back home.

kokujin-kun says:

I can’t help those who refuse to learn from past Key series. It’s like the proverbial crazy dude who expects different results.

QQwerty says:

Pretty sure Saito was referenced in many Key VNs before LB.

And D_S’s still got a point. I mean, it was the Saito reference, but for all his being the focus of an entire episode, he sure didn’t contribute to anything plot-wise.

Akatsukin says:

How about how Yuu was able to use his flying power? That’s kind of important.

Dark_Sage says:

Not important enough to waste an episode on.

PP says:

B-but the shipping tease!

Vinyl Scratch says:

I don’t remember a thing about Air’s main character, which you showed here. In fact, I can remember a single character from Dekaranger, Go-Onger, and Go-Busters better than all of Key’s protagonists put together.

QQwerty says:

Well this show turned shit.

Dark_Sage says:

Just watched episode 9. How could they possibly fuck it up from here? I mean, I know Japan’s Japan, but holy shit, they’d have to try so fucking hard.

QQwerty says:

D_S, you are in for one hell of a ride. And not the good sort.

Praise based Maeda. Somewhere during production he basically thought “What if I had MORE plot points instead of wrapping existing ones up? GENIUS!” and rolled with it.

Dark_Sage says:

Oh boy.

Dark_Sage says:

Will have a write up tonight if I don’t pass out first. What a show.

Anonymous says:

Can you review the subs as well? Like maybe Asuka-subs?

Dark_Sage says:

Ugh, fuck Asuka Subs. Not sure if I could ever gather the motivation to review that cancer now.

I can tell you that GJM-Mezashite would not drop below B-tier, regardless of which episode I reviewed. High quality stuff.

Anonymous says:

What? Asuka Subs reviews rule!

Dark_Sage says:

Casino Royale seemed like a better investment. #gomenz

lotusgg says:

did you even pass out?

Dark_Sage says:

40 minutes left of movie and the Bulleit’s just about gone. If I finish this thing it’ll be a fucking miracle. Either that or the Sprinkled Donut Crunch really is a suitable replacement for beef jerky.

lotusgg says:

If you got drunk then it was a good investment indeed.

Dark_Sage says:

Sage in all the best ways~

Kajitani-Eizan says:

> Bulleit

Good man.

Might I also recommend Tennessee Fire and Tito’s (if you like vodka, or alternately, hate vodka because you’ve only had shitty vodka)?

Dark_Sage says:

Yeah, Tito’s isn’t bad, had some at a con with SoupRKnowva. Not too keen on vodka in general though.

Tennessee Fire seems like an option depending on if my local store has some. They’re kinda low on options, but I’m doing a restock later tonight so we’ll see.

ryo-kun says:

Herkz said that anyone who likes this anime probably has brain damage

Sadly I agree. Charlotte a total shit lmao

Anonymous says:

Please write new post to update based on new information. Thicks.

QQwerty says:


Pick one.

Anonymous says:

I’ll take the update please.

Dark_Sage says:

Dark_Sage, hands down.

Dark_Sage says:

But that would mean I have to watch anime. Gross.

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