Charlotte: Retroactively Making Angel Beats Bad

Anime Opinions, Article, Summer 2015 — By on October 9, 2015 1:46 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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I can’t believe Jun had the temerity to serve us reconstituted pizza sauce. Key is dead to me.

For those of you just joining us, I was a bit bullish on Charlotte, from what I had seen in the first eight episodes. Having just finished the series, I will admit that some mistakes were made.





How am I supposed to make a pizza without the sauce?

dammit God

Maeda, you spineless sack of shit. The only fucking thing this show had going for it was Ayumi’s death. You can’t just hand-wave it away with your wibbly wobbly time-fucked bullshit. And substituting her death for I-forgot-his-name’s was not an acceptable alternative.

And nothing of value was lost

Wouldn’t know; they skipped over the only interesting thing that involved your character.



Fuck Furuki’s family

Muh families

Fuck Focus on the Family

So? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these kids that they’d trade the lives of thousands on the offchance one shitbag gets to see his fuckspawn again? Unless Furuki’s wife was legitimately willing to jerk off every fucking teenage kid in that facility, this makes about as much sense as why people who watch Abridged series don’t kill themselves.



This shit

B Plot for a D Show

Filler-fucked garbage.

There’s no resolution offered by having Misa go visit her parents, and by the show’s logic, she never would have. Remember, this bitch’s arc was wrapped up in episode three, and yet they keep trodding her out because who the fuck knows. And this scene is supposed to be dramatic?


The only tissues I needed were for dat skirt.

Now that I think about it, half the fucking show was B-plot filler. Cut that shit and maybe the pacing wouldn’t have felt half as coked-up as an episode of Concrete Revolutio.



Final arc

Pl ot

Is this supposed to be an elaborate joke? Surely there isn’t an audience out there so stupid as to swallow this shit smoothie with nothing but a witless grin.




Frame-specific cringe

Think of this as an album of moments you’d rather forget.

Look at this smug piece of shit


Listen to my heart - when its calling for you


The secret ingredient was love all along!


How curious that the final part of the show is somehow even worse than all the rest of it put together

The only credit I’ll give to Maeda for this shitshow is that the final power wasn’t “love”.







Cry less

Bitch tears

We already went through Yuu’s emo arc before, so why were we subjected to three more episodes of this pathetic bullshit?


And then despite going insane, Yuu never breaks this shitty promise to not travel back in time and fix everything that way. Yeah, I get it — he doesn’t wanna spend one more episode than he has to on this shitty show — but I expect a bit more for my 13-episode time investment than the anime equivalent of a dry hump.

Jun, loosen your jaw and finish your fucking job.



Waifu of the yesterday

Nothing but fun!

I knew something was amiss when I went to Caly’s, interrupting her halfway through the final episode, and she was just chipper as fuck, throwing her cat all over the place per the usual.

No drama? Nao lived in the end? Come on. The fuck would I want with a living girl?



Kitty titty potential missed

Play in my place

Ain’t a guy or girl in history who could deny how hot Medoki’d look in cat ears and spandex. Yet in not one single episode do we get to see her living up to her character’s potential. Not one.





I still haven’t eaten lunch yet, so I’m gonna ship the post without a cool ending tagline and grab some Culver’s

I stand by my original commentary — the show is an 8/10 with variable points for how many tears it could eke out of me. As both tear ducts have now fully receded into my head out of disuse, I’m dropping it by a point for each missed opportunity.

Charlotte Suxks Holy Wow

Taken as a drama, Charlotte would set that genre back by about 10 years, but if you took this limp-wristed Japanese male power fantasy as anything but a poor-man’s shounen, then you fell subject to the only plot twist of the series. Whether that was Jun’s intent or not is irrelevant.

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Army says:

wondered, who is she in your profil picture Dark_Sage?

Army says:

i see thanks. though she is some badass out there with that kind of pose xD

Etoce says:

IA is voiced by the same person who sang Charlotte’s OP. You’re topical!

Dark_Sage says:

Temporarily at least. New waifu avvy up soon.

Hairy says:

But Angel Beats was always bad.

Ambulator says:

Yeah, promising start but very weak finish.

Period says:

can’t wait for the after story

Inushinde says:

The show went decidedly downhill after Yuu stabbed fuckers up with skewers.

James says:

“No drama? Nao lived in the end? Come on. The fuck would I want with a living girl?”


Seriously though, I’m sick of mc-chan’s who are dead at the end of the show. Writers need to relearn how to write a tragic heroine without needing to kill her off to make me feel bad for her, or her love interest.

Calyrica says:

In my defense, the last episode had weird has fuck pacing.

Also, what. I do not throw my cat all over the place!


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