Fall 2015 Anime Opinions – Episode 03: If I Wanted to Have My Intelligence Insulted I’d Just Go to a Dominatrix

Anime Opinions, Article, Fall 2015 — By on November 1, 2015 12:01 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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The post isn’t really Halloween themed, but– Boo! Managed to spook ya anyways. Damn I’m good.

 

Dropped/10

Spoiler:

Heavy Object

I was wondering that myself.

I was wondering that myself.

Jackass A mutely runs around putting explosives in random places as his partner constantly asks him what’s going on. Jackass B pulls a satellite out of his ass to call in a military strike that was deemed useless in an earlier episode. And then the big plot twist is that both of them find out they’re getting deployed to the frontlines at what was supposed to be an awards/retirement ceremony.

Me too

This is how humans would act if they were idiots putting on a play. While “the writer needed the plot to advance somehow” is an understandable motivation for some things, I cannot forgive a show for expecting that its audience accept that as the sole motivation behind each character’s actions. It’s insulting.

Honestly, I’d just watch it for the onee-san’s heavy objects, but Funimation managed to ruin those too.

Heavy Objects

Just go bankrupt already, you sick fucks.

 

 

Young Black Jack

Liberalism

Conventional wisdom holds true: if an episodic anime about a morally gray back-alley doctor doesn’t involve coat hangars within the first three episodes, it’s not worth watching.

Sorry YBJ, but a line had to be drawn somewhere, and I don’t have a whole season’s worth of my time to spend in hopes that you’ll finally give me a decent episode.

 

 

Concrete Revolutio

blablabla Seigi no Seiji

I know I said I wouldn’t drop this, but I say a lot of things, and this show’s bullshit moralizing wore out its welcome sooner than my sister’s aunt. Janky pacing and a terrible plot don’t help matters either.

Ain’t got much more to say other than fuck this show.

Anyways, here's Wonderwall.

Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

 

 

Bad/10

Spoiler:

Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai

KY

At this point I’m just strategizing how to justify dropping 35 despite its inclusion of a yandere.

Bishielicious

Are those eyes enough to carry a show? So far, yes. But barely.

I think by next episode, I’ll be able to convince myself that his character is gonna take enough of a backseat to the action that I don’t need to watch anymore. But if Japan makes him as prominent as he deserves to be, I’m gonna be stuck on this subterranean roller coaster for quite a while. Gotta love these lose-lose situations.

 

 

Gakusen Toshi Asterisk

2sad

I can’t remember what happened in this episode, and I watched it yesterday. That probably says more about the show than anything else I’d write could.

 

 

Meh/10

Spoiler:

Osomatsu-san

Penises are funny right guys

I figured for the Osomatsu section of each post I’d upload a webm of a decent skit in the ep. Unfortunately, Japanese comedy is kind of… bad, so I didn’t have one for this episode.

I’ll give the show another episode to impress me, but don’t be surprised if this gets binned.

 

 

Owari no Seraph S2

Fuck whispered exposition

Whispered exposition doesn’t really count as exposition, Japan.

I’m convinced that there’s a good show in here. I’m also convinced we’re just never going to see it.

 

 

Comet Lucifer

Spiceh

I thought the show was going somewhere, but apparently I was wrong. A cast can be as cool as it wants, but the characters need to actively engage with one another, or they’re just background decoration.

Dammit, Bones, an adventure anime needs progression. Stop letting me down like this. You’re supposed to be one of the good studios!

 

 

Lance N Masques

I thought horses were made of glue, not rubber.

I thought horses were made of glue, not rubber.

What the fuck, LNM? I defended your slow start and this is how you repay me? With fucking awkward and pointless no-drama drama?

This is why I have trust issues.

“Everyone wins” as the moral? This is why I have trust issues.

If you just wanted to do a cute show about a kid helping a little girl out and solving his own issues in the process, that’d have been fine. But this cartoonishly shounen bullshit where “the chosen one” is manipulated by the baddies to become a hero for whatever fucking nefarious purpose they’re doing it for… No. I deserve better.

 

 

Noragami Aragoto/K – Return of Kings

I could use some medicine right about now too

Beauty is as deep as the budget allows.

Beauty is only as deep as the budget allows.

Nothing much to report on either of these. Time to move onto the good okay stuff.

 

 

Top 5 6 Whatever

Spoiler:

Subete ga F ni Naru

Wink

;)

From the closed-room-on-an-island scenario that episode 2 presented us with, I knew we’d be getting a standard murder mystery from this show. What I didn’t expect was how fucking boring they’d make it.

The statutory rape is about the only thing the show has going for it right now, and even I don’t think that’ll be enough to keep me conscious through two more episodes.

Sugar we're going down

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. This should last me for at least three eps.

 

 

Sakurako-san

nonononononono

This whole episode was like watching a train full of catgirls plummet off a cliff in slow motion. Every crotch-stabbing frame dragged us painfully to the foregone conclusion that no decent human could have wanted. So some bitch’s grandma didn’t commit suicide, and in fact fell from a cliff by accident. That’s it? That’s all the episode was about?

oh wow thanks for that you really shouldnt have

Fuck this shit.

I bought into Sakurako-san cuz I thought we’d be getting intriguing mysteries that resulted in a solid fleshing out of the two MCs’ curious relationship. Instead, we’re being fed episodic garbage and expected to be thankful for it? If this is as far as the show can go, mark my words I’ll stop browsing pixiv for its H.

 

 

Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen // One-Punch Man

ohtumblr

“Good but not great” sums these up. Uta has a poorly built world (even considering it has a whole fucking series building up to this one), and One-Punch suffers from trying to adapt one-panel jokes into five-minute segments.

The joke gets a lot less funny when everyone knows the punchline.

The joke gets a lot less funny when the show thinks you were too stupid to guess the blatantly telegraphed punchline.

I hope these will find some way to impress me other than simply remaining moderately enjoyable, but I ain’t holding my breath.

 

 

Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans

yeahboi

Jesus, this may end up as a ten for me. The only reason I’m holding off on giving it that right now is the crushing disappointment I’m likely to face when the anime bullshit starts.

But so far, goddamn, even the characters I don’t like are arguably “good” characters. And they’re not afraid to kill interesting people off.

cye leter spece cowbey

Thank the gods we didn’t get any “join muh crew oji-san” bullshit here.

Yes, yes, and more yes. Japan, if you can keep pressed down on the throttle, I’ll keep fellating ya for it. A sore jaw is an acceptable tribute for quality of this level.

 

 

Valkyrie Drive ~Mermaid~

Hells yeah vampires

To presumably no one’s surprise, I still find this show fappable. Vampire-chan here appears to have been conceived by a beautiful mind who saw Gargantia and decided to run with the only good part of it.

Rackage

As I’ve noted before, if only Urobuchi hadn’t happened to this show, it might’ve been good. ;_;

About the only thing that could sink Valkyrie Drive is if they drop the t&a in favor of musing on whatever political points the writer thinks they’re making. Let’s hope literacy loses this battle.

 

 

~Ratings~

Spoiler:

"Bipolar" as a translation for "tsundere". As if you needed another reminder why fansubbing died.

“Bipolar” as a translation for “tsundere”? As if we needed another reminder why fansubbing died.

Links go direct to each associated review post.

 

Anime Episode 01 Episode 02 Episode 03
Attack on Titan Junior High 6 Dropped N/A
Brave Beats Dropped N/A N/A
Comet Lucifer 6 8 7
Concrete Revolutio 5 3 Dropped
Dance with Devils 6 Dropped N/A
Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 6 6 5
Heavy Object 7 6 Dropped
High School Star Musical Dropped N/A N/A
K – Return of Kings 7 7 7
Lance N Masques 9 9 7
Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans 7 9 9
Noragami Aragoto 7 7 7
One-Punch Man 8 8 8
Osomatsu-san 8 7 6
Owari no Seraph S2 7 6 6
Rakudai Kishi no Cavalry Dropped N/A N/A
Sakurako-san 9 8 8
Shomin Sample Dropped N/A N/A
Subete ga F ni Naru 9 9 8
Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai 4 5 4
Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen 8 8 8
Valkyrie Drive -Mermaid- 10 10 10
Young Black Jack 7 5 Dropped

 

As a reminder, the scores are NOT individual episodic ratings, but are rather based on my impression of the series by that point. Cuz, y’know, episodic ratings suck.



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18 Comments

lotusgg says:

>seraph 7-6-6

I would agree if that was a negative score. Show went downhill after a good-ish first season.

Shinny says:

The first season was horrible. Like Tokyo Ghoul S2 levels of bad.

Spooky_Sage says:

I’m liking S2 more, but that’s just cuz there’s less character “development”.

pf says:

Comet Lucifer isn’t by Bones you turd

Spooky_Sage says:

It’s basically by Bones. The script is by a guy who did a bunch of their shows.

lotusgg says:

Er, the animation styles are very different, and not every bones show is exclusively made by bones’ scriptwriters.

Spooky_Sage says:

Comet Lucifer looks like every Bones adventure anime ever. You have seen Xam’d at least, right?

lotusgg says:

No, but I’ve seen many bones animes already. Most of them are adaptations of original works though.

Spooky_Sage says:

Fair enough. You could always skip around this episode to see what I’m talking about (starts ~6 minutes in):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGHOERwk-eQ

I’d write an article with all the comparisons, but it’d be too textbook to be worth anyone’s time.

Kristen says:

You don’t need to scare us, D_S. You are a ghost already, after all.

Anonymous says:

I’m sure the bipolar is just a ploy to make Commie’s Hot n’ Cold™ look good in comparison.

Spooky_Sage says:

I can tell you after having suffered through a full Cthuyuu release, I’d much rather go back to Commie’s guesslations. It’s rare I watch something and get pissed enough to drop everything and start writing a review, but that is the case here.

Anon says:

>moderately enjoyable
>8

?

anonymous says:

you ain’t from around here are ya

Spooky_Sage says:

To sum up my thought process here:
8s are series I enjoy but which are also fundamentally flawed.
9s are good shows that I will vehemently defend, but have enough issues that I can’t reasonably say they’re perfect.
10s are top of their class. I try to keep an open mind, so any genre can be represented here.

ayyynewnemis says:

I haven’t watched Gundam before except for shitty dubs on Toonami when I was a kid. Should I give this one a shot?

Dark_Sage says:

Hells yeah, give it a watch. G Gundam and Gundam Wing can’t come close to it.

Kajitani-Eizan says:

I’m late as shit, but as usual you can blame Daisuki for completely fucking up the joke in that ep of OPM. The joke is supposed to be (gradually) telegraphed several lines later than it actually was. Unfortunately people still believe that your translator doesn’t need to know the English good to translationings well proper because your editor (if he exists) can magically fix all issues.

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