[Spoilers] Erased Sucks Deceased Horse Dick

Anime Opinions, Article, Winter 2016 — By on February 9, 2016 4:16 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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This post has huge fucking spoilers for Erased. Do not read this if you want to “enjoy” the show, cuz it will only make you realize just how bad it actually is.

 

One last fucking warning

I wish I could have erased the manga from my memory, cuz then I could be just as ignorant as everyone else, giddily watching this show with my tongue hanging out, eager for the assurances of quality that only a big budget can apparently provide.

How many erased fans have even seen Eva, tho?

How many Erased fans have even seen Eva, tho?

Yet unfortunately I did read the manga. Also unfortunately, every goddamn mouth breather with a trial subscription to Crunchyroll thinks their opinions have a chance to matter now that I’ve whittled down my posting habits to once a week.

Well sorry low-tiers, but I ain’t fucking dead just yet. So I think I’ll take this post of the week to show you why you should shut the fuck up about how omg great Boku dake ga Inai Machi is.

Oh, and I'll be spoiling the ending. (This isn't the ending.)

Oh, and I’ll be spoiling the ending. (This isn’t the ending.)

 

 

This ain’t a love song

Part of what pissed me off about the marketing is that the series implies that Satoru and Red are an item.

Stab me in the dick with a scalding-hot needle

hi5

2ky

2

Well, they aren’t, and their relationship doesn’t even matter. In Red’s “fixed” arc, she forgets about Satoru, grows up to fuck some rando, and then our bitch-tears protagonist gets off on it cuz he’s a cancerous cuck.

Red Shitty_Art

Now I don’t give a shit about love stories. And I even like the idea of being fooled for once. But when you start off a series being all “time to save this super important girl with a red backpack” and then it turns out the culmination of her character arc is “getting fucked by some trash so throwaway we don’t even have a name for him”…

Well, fuck that.

Well, fuck that.

 

 

This ain’t deep

No amount of cheap writing can fix that.

No amount of cheap writing can fix that.

Sanbe Kei, the mangaka, ain’t exactly a Japanese success story. His most famous work is Kamiyadori, which you haven’t even heard of.

 It's like a bad ripoff of Pupa. Which is weird, considering Kamiyadori came out 8 years prior.

It’s like a bad ripoff of Pupa. Which is weird, considering Kamiyadori came out 8 years prior.

So there’s good precedence for him to assume people would be too smart to expect anything from a washed-up horror writer. And especially one skipping genres and age brackets to make what is essentially baby’s first mystery. Humanity’s luck must be shit though, cuz that wasn’t the case this time.

MyAnimeList_BokuDakeGaInaiMachi

MyAnimeList: Where people too stupid for Scooby Doo make you question the fundamental concept of democracy.

If you’re looking for quality drama, keep looking.

This never comes up again.

This never comes up again.

I know your clit’s throbbing for some psycholoving, but it’s been a decade since Ergo Proxy came out and Japan hasn’t been interested in slinging anything half as good since then.

Sorry, but Psycho-Pass sucked.

Sorry, but Psycho-Pass doesn’t even come close to hitting that halfway mark.

Really, it’s hard to have anything interesting to say when…

 

 

There are no lasting consequences

Satoru can travel back in time at the drop of hat cuz :magic:. The idea of a “last chance” to set everything right is a good one, but that’s what it has to actually be. Otherwise what are the stakes?

There are none. He comes back to 1988 three fucking times.

There are none. He takes three cracks at 1988 in the series.

When something goes wrong, Satoru just goes back in time to fix it. And that’s exactly what happens when he fucks up the first arc (which if the animators are smart, they’ll end the anime on). Cuz we couldn’t have people face consequences for their actions, not in a children’s show!

“Time travel fixes everything” is technically a theme, but it sure as fuck ain’t a defensible one.

 

 

Airi’s “dream”

Airi's_Dream_-_Anime_Form

You know how when a show withholds just a bit of seemingly unimportant information, followed by several winks and a nod, it makes you think “Holy shit, that’s gonna be important”? Well it takes 36 chapters for us to find out what Airi’s dream is, and…

Airi's_Dream

Apparently she wants to be poor. Great writing, top waifu.

Ultimately, my complaint here isn’t even about the genki, plot-irrelevant doofus (hell, I’d fuck her till she dropped that extra chromosome). It’s that every fucking part of the series that shows a little promise is thoroughly destroyed by the mangaka’s inability to understand writing.

Now, you can like what you’ve seen of the anime all you want, but the story & characters ain’t changed one goddamn bit from the manga, and no amount of budget can fix that. So you sure as hell are going to understand my pain even if you’re numbed by my alcoholic writing right now.

 

 

The big bad revealed

Boku dake ga Inai Machi (ERASED) - le epic villain

M’lady.

I saved the worst for (second to) last, just in case you were too blinded by the show’s color palette to believe it’s really as bad as I say it is.

Baku_Dake_Cluemachi

Put your fucking detective hats on! I wonder who it could be!

What_a_twist

Oh shit it was the creepy teacher all along!

Every clue points to teacher-sensei as being behind all the snuff films, which is exactly why he shouldn’t be the big bad.

Subtlety, exit stage window.

Subtlety, exit stage window.

I could overlook all the other problems with this series, because there is a lot to otherwise like. But with this being the huge reveal, and the biggest part of the entire plot in this mystery series, Erased is beyond salvation. Shit ain’t acceptable — I deserve more.

 

 

The final fight

If you think this has a good ending, you haven’t been paying attention.

Next time on "cripple vs. gasoline"!

Next time on “cripple vs. guy with gasoline”!

For some stupid, convoluted reason, Satoru and sensei-san meet up for a fight on a bridge, both get set on fire, and then fall into the river, where Satoru is rescued by a boat filled with all the friends he’s ever fucking made and the big bad dies. Or something. Who cares, manga over, roll credits.

kerblang

gg

That’s fucking it. This is what the show’s leading up to — a steaming pile of nothing. What a payoff, huh?

 

 

Got my popcorn at the ready

mt

Erased fans, you’re welcome to debate me in the comments about how bad this show actually is. But I’m afraid that if you still think the series is amazing after reading this, you’re probably not at the level where you can be fixed. : (

(Use the [Spoiler] tags if relevant.)



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34 Comments

Dium says:

you seem rustled, sir.

Dark_Sage says:

I most certainly

Spoiler:
am.
Dium says:

Need more

Spoiler:
airi
Zettaizero says:

How bad the show is? ONE WORD ” NTR aka Netorare ” is fucking strong on this one

Solaristics says:

It’s shitgatsu all over again (Shigatsu). I can’t wait to see the fans reaction to the

Spoiler:
ntr.

On a side note, D_S, since you read the manga (I never did. I just spoiled myself instead since idgaf), does it ever explain why the

Spoiler:
teacher did what he did?
Dark_Sage says:

There’s a chapter or two in the manga on it, but the tl;dr is:

Spoiler:
Teacher-kun’s brother was doing fucked-up stuff, then teacher-kun joined in and realized he had an affinity for doing fucked-up stuff. There was no other reason than “lol cuz he’s cra-zay”
Solaristics says:

That’s the stupidest shit I’ve read all week.

Welp says:

Damn, this show’s actually worse than

Spoiler:
Mirai Nikki.
Dark_Sage says:

Technically

Spoiler:
every show is.
Hannibal says:

It’s so cute to see people who still think that

Spoiler:
plot points have any significant impact on “quality.”

If you’re feeble-minded enough to read a story just to find out what happens next, you deserve your doltish disappointment.

Anonymous says:

What do you read mysteries for then captain edgy?

Hannibal says:

Depends on the mystery. I read The Name of the Rose for the history, the Sherlock Holmes stories for the phenomenal sarcasm, Hiroshi Mori for his weirdly mesmeric posthumanist psychological mumbo-jumbo, When We Were Orphans for its shockingly immediate insight into an oft-overlooked moment in time, the Father Brown mysteries for Chesterton’s prose, and I could go on all night.

But honestly, you’re all supposed to be Internet people. Don’t you all know that

because a story the only interesting element of which is mere incident is, in fact, a fucking shitty story?

Mehrwerfer says:

D_S – master of shit taste
:^)

Gary Yary says:

Indeed. Just let him watch some random moe, cuz better shows are just too much for him to handle.

Gary Yary says:

Btw, what’s the best choice for this show? Commie?

Dark_Sage says:

GJM-eraser has impressed me. Grabbed screens while writing this so you can expect a review.

that guy says:

Ok, I’ll debate you.
I still think the 1988 arc we’ve seen is great. I like the art, the music, the voices, the characters and the pacing. I got some strong emotional resonance out of his quest to save the beaten child. I also like red. She reminds me of a few of the more damaged children I’ve known plus she’s cute.
When the inevitable failure came around, I was rooting for them big time.
Then she died, as I knew she would, and he went back to the future to, i guess, ruin the plot and get blueballed by highschool girls or something, but it didn’t feel like betrayal. The show gave me something beautiful, and if it shot all its powder on that, then so be it.

Dark_Sage says:

You must have liked Sunday Without God, huh?

that guy says:

haven’t seen it but thanks for the rec

Anon says:

Hey, the beginning was great, fuck off.

Dark_Sage says:

Hence why I said that. The first three episodes made for an arguable 10/10. The following nine? Ehh…

Doom44 says:

Back to this site original (yet not really) theme

what fansub group so far is the best for this show?

Dark_Sage says:

I haven’t finished writing the review yet (left my laptop charger at work), but you can expect B-tier/A-tier from GJM-eraser.

Anonymous says:

>work

Nexxkinn says:

So you don’t want to see every anime-only people’s reaction when “that” happens?

C’mon, D_S. It’ll be fun, you know?

LotusGG says:

god tier taste

just saiyan says:

Let go of anime/manga and related, when you are finally able to, you have truly graduated.

Dark_Sage says:

And be a normalfag? It’s too late for that, friend. ;_;

odinigh says:

So… you read ahead and spoiled yourself,
and decided to whine about it. :D

Greybaum says:

The Kayo (and Teacher Mystery) thing is still bullshit, but what’re your thoughts on the anime original ending?

Dark_Sage says:

After this post I dropped the series. No point in watching something I know will be bad.

Balfour says:

I really do think Erased was a very good anime. Until the last few episodes. What’s the point of saying all this stuff about the two being a couple and then Kayo just goes off marrying some other guy. THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS FOR LIKE HALF THE SEASON. In the anime she fucking marries the trap, like dude.

Erased was so bad says:

I cried because i saw kayano with a child that wasnt saturu. No but really the last two episodes were shit and made me waste my life watching the anime. I spent the whole day watching that piece of shit.

Fissionmailed says:

There’s a lot I wanted to say about the anime but I don’t have the effort to make a detailed post about everything so I’ll try to boil it down to a couple of points:

1. Kayo was never a romantic interest as much as a emotional hurdle: He was a 29 yr old guy when he went back in time, the MC’s motivation for everything he did to correct his regret. IMO, he sees a version of himself in Kayo (fake, afraid to let other ppl in). Him trying to change the fate of Kayo is a way for him to atone for his own regret of not trying the first time and change the person he would eventually become. He was flustered and stuff cuz he was immature emotionally but he was never in love to Kayo.

2. This time loop anime has ton of things for the MC to follow along and reason along with. The characters in the show feels pretty real and their actions reasonable.(unlike the puzzle in Higurashi which is coo coo bananas, or Re:Zero/ Steins Gate which really doesn’t have a whole lot of mystery/ puzzle elements to it)

3. Recent time loop anime has all been about the moment of redemption :
-It’s set up by audience getting hit over the head again and again with explicit imagery of MC suffering in timeloop moving towards the point of giving up
-the show cash in on your suffering by giving a turning point in the story where the love interest gives the MC his drive to keep timelooping.
-profit

This moment has defined all timeloop anime I can recall. The focus on erased is a lot more subtle about this moment and the emotional impact with it. The show’s selling point to me is more on the puzzle aspect and the show/ symbolism is really smart. It’s really differnt IMO from all the timer looper anime recently. Which is a big plus in my book.

The ending felt really complete to me, idk about u but it felt to me his victory was really complete if you look at it from the perspective of overcoming his challenge in relating to others.

About the Teacher being the obvious villain in the movie yeah, but that’s the typical fault of everything that’s less than 30 episodes. There’s no time to develop enough characters to hide the real murderer among making it really obvious.

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