Kabaneri is part of Amazon’s “big push” into the anime simulcast scene. But with how well they’ve fucking advertised it (read: not at all), I doubt it’ll do what their corporate PowerPoints promised it would.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s talk about why I called out Amazon and HorribleSubs in the title when my standard is just to pick one and review that.

Have a waifu to break up the text.

Normally, HorribleSubs can use secret dark magic rituals to grab shows from official providers as soon as they air. Here the ritual failed, so they had to transcribe it — a process which makes it possible for corrections to be made, but also for errors to be introduced. Overall, transcription tends to be a wash, so I’ll be reviewing the Prime version of the subs and you can take it as applicable to both.

Ignoring the script, I’ll attempt to point out the notable differences between the two releases. There are enough that it should prove useful in determining your ideal choice between the two. We’ll get to the fansubs later in the season, per standards I set in 2011 which clearly in no way need to be updated at all.

Episode details.

Release format (Amazon): Streaming (requires Prime subscription to watch)

Release format (HorribleSubs): 720p MKV (415 MB, 8-bit), 480p MKV (210 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: Honorifics. Japanese terminology retained (Bushi, Kabane).

English style: American English.

Encoding details (HorribleSubs): http://pastebin.com/eYBpLzE7

Speed (Amazon): Simulcast.

Speed (HorribleSubs): Quick (<48 hours)

Karaoke.

Opening.

N/A.

Ending.

Amazon

HorribleSubs

Rating: Okay.

Functional is about the best you can expect from an official release, but that they actually translated the ED (and presumably the OP, come episode 2) counts for a lot in my book. Guess that’s what happens when you pay your way onto the production committee.

Typesetting.

Amazon

Amazon

HorribleSubs

HorribleSubs

Neither provides exceptional quality, but HorribleSubs at least understands how to present typeset information.

Other.

Even without taking into account the annoying broadcast announcements and the ever-semi-visible Fuji TV logo, the Amazon release looks much nicer than HorribleSubs’s.

Amazon

HorribleSubs

Conversely, when watching with HorribleSubs, you aren’t incentivized to claw out your fucking eyes whenever you happen to bump your fucking mouse.

Good gods, Amazon.

I’ll give the nod to Amazon here, under the assumption you don’t have a shitty internet connection and can actually stream Amazon’s version in HD.

Karaoke.

I may be missing a plot point that comes up later, but in keeping with how generic anime music is, this should probably be “friends”.

Main Script.

Though technically competent, a lack of creativity in the script leaves much to be desired.

Words are constantly repeated back-to-back like a B-grade middle school essay. This back-and-forth was particularly uninspired:

Ayame: “It’s my father’s steam gun. It’s having some problems, so I was hoping someone could take a look.”

Takumi: “Ayame-sama. She is beautiful.”

Ikoma: “She is the bushi princess.”

That’s not a fucking conversation so much as it’s bits of English splattered across a screen. I don’t wanna belabor the point, cuz then I’d be no better than Amazon, but there are a few other instances of low-quality awkwardness in the script. If you’re conscious I’m sure you can find them yourself.

People deserve better. No– I deserve better. Amazon, get your shit together.

Hey Amazon, go take a steam gun to your temples. Surely you have enough money for a 30-minute QC. And if you don’t, maybe Bezos could cut divert some from his budget for the strap-ons which he is literally fucking me with here.

fewer = things you count

less = things you don’t

This is one of those rules that becomes less and less relevant as time goes on and the language evolves, but here it stepped on my balls hard enough to elicit a reaction.

(Understand my rules are really fucking basic in these posts and that they do not apply to all situations. I could write an entire post about the nuances of “less” vs “fewer” but I’d get bored halfway through, so I won’t. If you want more structure to your understanding, I recommend hitting up Google for dry lectures by people far more virgin than I.)

Unless the crux of the English language has changed since I last checked, this shit is as wrong as diet Dr. Pepper. When you’re referring to a person by a nickname or title that you use commonly, it should be capitalized. Basically, throw it into uppercase when the name is a substitution.

“Almost time, Brother.” = “Almost time, Kabukitero.” (or whatever the fuck his name is)

Now, if the nickname is less a nickname than a reference, you keep it lowercase.

“Almost time, friendo.” (note that “friendo” should never be used in anime subtitles, let alone any human conversation)

Logic jumps are required for this shit, but it shouldn’t take many for the editor here to realize that she probably calls this “brother” of hers the same name all the fucking time. I bet they fuck.

The fuck is this, Zero Wing? I’m trying to jerk off to her porcelain figure like a normal human being and then Amazon comes in with this crotch-killing Engrish bullshit. Not acceptable. v2 please.