Fall 2016 Anime Preview: Part 3 – K, can I be done now?

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Gotta make way for two-and-a-half months of posting nothing followed by a week of furious typing.

Part 1: http://www.crymore.net/2016/09/30/fall-2016-anime-preview-part-1-oh-my-god-is-this-season-going-to-suck/

Part 2: http://www.crymore.net/2016/10/05/fall-2016-anime-preview-part-2-brushing-japans-teeth-till-they-bleed/

 

The Rankings – Part 3

p5

Persona 5 cannot come soon enough.

 

 

 

Yaoi!!! on Ice – Cancer

yaoi_on_ice

tl;dr: Gay boys do gay things. Namely, ice skating.

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: MAPPA

Normally you can count me down for gay shit, but Ice is flaming, and not in a good way.Much like classical is the worst of all music, ice skating is the worst of all sports. Put ’em together and whaddya get? Dark_Sage having to masturbate to normal porn. Gross.

Shit, throw these faggots some rollerblades, gimme an otoko no ko, and play some electronic in the background… Basically, just give me Air Gear, but with characters whose euthanasia wouldn’t give me a hard-on.

 

 

All Out!! – Meh

all_out

tl;dr: Buff boys beat on one another’s bodies.

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#1c1fbc728362a562

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Madhouse | TMS Entertainment

This is me except I'm tall and chicks dig me and old guys only want me to work for them... Fuck, I can't relate to this at all. ;_;
This is me except I’m tall, and chicks want the D_S, and old guys only want me to work for them… Fuck, I can’t relate to this at all. ;_;

Whatever, All Outs is some legit bara shit. I can’t really jerk off to it, but for those of you with low-tier taste… I bet you can get there. Just don’t expect a solid sports series, cuz All Outs barely learned anything from its predecessors — characters are poorly defined, the central conflicts are unappealing, and the plot is about as rotten as the show’s target audience.

It took until the very end of volume two for me to even slightly relate to the characters, and that is way too fucking late. Low effort, low quality, do not want.

 

 

ClassicaLoid – Nothx

classicaloid

tl;dr: “We fired all our sound guys. Find some way to make all our music royalty free or this studio’s shutting down.”

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Sunrise

Show’s more cardboard than the cellular makeup of a Pizza Hut pizza.

 

 

Long Riders! – Rating

longriders

tl;dr: High school girl bicycling club slice-of-life comedy. A description as emotionless as the show will be.

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Actas

I dropped Bakuon and I’ll drop this too.

 

 

Sangatsu no Lion (March Comes in Like a Lion) – Shaft is never terrible but this’ll be their worst show

sangatsu_no_lion

tl;dr: Some emo kid plays shogi and everyone likes him cuz he’s just so moody and introspective and cool.

Manga: http://www.gomymanga.com/manga/3_Gatsu_no_Lion/1/1

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: SHAFT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq-PQX8jUo0

It’s Shaft, so it won’t be bad, but when was the last time Shaft did anything legitimately exciting? (The answer is 2011.)

Trash characters, trash plot, trash pacing… The manga took literature back half a century. If I wanted boredom I’d go to an IRC channel. No thank you.

 

 

Udon no Kuni no Kiniro Kemari (Poco’s Udon World) – Good

udon_no_kuni_no_kiniro_kemari

tl;dr: Mass-murderer/rapist Souta Tawara returns from one of his nightly adventures only to discover a young girl on his porch. On a whim, he decides to take her in and raise her as his successor. But all she wants to do is eat Udon! Thus begins a whacky adventure with a lot of laughs, a few tears, and a whole lot of snuff~

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: LIDEN FILMS

>show about a kid growing up

Out.

>show about a kid growing up but she’s totes kemonomimi mode

In.

 

 

Fune wo Amu (The Great Passage) – Boycotting this shit

fune_wo_amu

tl;dr: I dunno, it’s some tryhard whatever.

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: ZEXCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXo5pdGBOiQ

I don’t need to be reminded of how old I am. Pass.

 

 

Keijo!!!!!!!! (Hip Whip Girl) – Excellent

keijo

tl;dr: !!!!!!!!

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#4c7f4ded7d22ce42

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Xebec

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xzrHZRU2yY

I am going to be straight with you, dear reader: I like girls. So a show in which nee-sans rub their booties and bosoms over one another… well, it sort of speaks to me personally, y’know?

Regardless of the budget, or its objective quality, I feel like I would lose something as a man — nay, as a human being — if I were to label this show with anything less than the Excellent rating it deserves.

keijo_hype
You’re welcome.

 

 

Flip Flappers – Okay

flip-flappers

tl;dr: MahouShoujo.mkv

Manga/Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: Studio 3Hz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6a3LzVb2vQ

I have no fucking idea. By all rights, this should be terrible. None of the trailers I saw looked good, but at the same time, I felt there was something there.

...Oh yeah, it was lesbians with fluffy tails.
…Oh yeah, it was lesbians with fluffy tails. Will watch.

 

 

 

In Summary

fall_2016_anime_chart

This season is a let down.

26 thoughts on “Fall 2016 Anime Preview: Part 3 – K, can I be done now?”

  1. D_S is a let down.

    Fansub reviews fucking when. And none of that “fansubbing is dead” bullshit, last season had at least two good review candidates (yet all we got were a couple officialsub reviews), and this season there’s already a show with three groups doing it (according to FansubDB) so there’s definitely something to review.

    Also D_S has shit taste etc. etc.

    Angry tone not serious. :P

    Reply
    • I’m working on a post right now, but it’ll be an officialsubs one. You’ll have to wait till episode 2+ for standard-length fansubs to go in-scope.

      Reply
      • >You’ll have to wait till episode 2+ for standard-length fansubs to go in-scope.

        By the time those come, you’re dead for the season ;).

        Also, what show?

        Reply
      • I know we have to wait until episodes 2+ for fansubs, I was reffering more to the past season(s).

        To be clear, I still appreaciate the reviews, fansub or otherwise.

        Just kinda sad there haven’t been many reviews recently, especially since you’re the only one doing them :(

        Reply
        • Just as I’m keeping people honest with my reviews, I need y’all to keep me honest too. Should this season go how I want it to go, there will certainly be opportunities to look at past series that need a critical eye turned toward the subtitle options out there.

          Leave it to my whims alone and you’ll see a lot of procrastination.

          Reply
          • Well, using number of groups listed on fansubDB as a metric, for this season it’s looking like Shuumatsu no Izetta would be a good candidate.

            For last season, 91 Days* because 4 groups, and Rewrite because it’s a battle between GJM+Asenshi and Chihiro+The-group-that-did-the-VN (Who are supposedly, as I’ve heard, some of the best VN translators this decade.).

            *Particularly Bakemono, because they’re a newish group that hasn’t been reviewed yet (I’ve heard some bad things, but it would be nice to have something to quantify them).

            If you’re feeling like delving into the more distant past, it would be really awesome if you could review some of the (several) options for 2009/10’s Tegami Bachi, particularly Crunchy vs. Commie (CR edit) vs. Kesenai/Ruri* (OTL).

            *Kesenai became Ruri sometime between the two parts of Tegami Bachi, apparently.

            Reply
      • You should do an officialsubs review of Soushin Shoujo Matoi. Those subs are nearly perfect and you will enjoy every second of watching it.

        Reply
          • I totally did not lie! I do think you should review it, cause that sounds really amusing. However, since I’m not a native speaker, my second sentence might’ve come out a bit wrong. I meant the subs are nearly perfect for a review and you will enjoy every second that brings you closer to the end.

            What was worse about the show? The engrish or the bumblebee subs?

            Reply
            • I was just playing around man, no worries.

              The Anime Network did something really special with hardsubbing their fucking logo over their subtitles, so… Yeah, I think it deserves a post. Thanks for the rec, I woulda left this series till much later otherwise.

              Reply
              • Yea, I know you were playing around. You didn’t actually think I was feeling offended?

                Looking forward to the post, whenever it may come.

                Reply
  2. Does Hip Whip Girl somehow not remind you how old you are? Cause that shit looks like it would be riveting… had I been twenty years younger.

    At the same time there are clearly not enough series about grown-ups doing grown-up things, even among those airing after 23:00.

    Reply
    • Mostly reminds me of Sekai de Ichiban.

      Would love to see some anime about adults that isn’t simply slice-of-life forced drama.

      Reply
  3. Honest question: Why is everything shit?

    Like, except for the buttrubbing cartoon, why the fuck is every entry in this magnificent article a goddamn shitshow that I wouldn’t wish to let anyone endure?

    8 years ago, we had moe-crap, then came the borderline-porn wave. Are we now being offered the bottom of the barrel scrapings?

    Reply
    • No fucking idea, it really shouldn’t be this bad. And maybe it’s just bad marketing on Japan’s part, but I’d be surprised if Occultic doesn’t end up being the only show people remember from this season.

      Reply
  4. Sangatsu no Lion was the least Shafty show I’ve seen in a while. The only indication that Shaft *actually* made it was the brief style change when the MC walked out of the convenience store. I don’t think there was even a single head-tilt.

    I feel so betrayed. I wanted Shaft madness, but I got Ghibli film.

    Reply
  5. Interestingly, there are no self-insert male leads in any of the new shows, and nearly all of the shows with male leads are targeted at women.

    Also, Vivid Strike seems to be a competent, if rather generic and bland fighting show that manages to put more importance on fighting seriously than that it has an all female cast. Unfortunately, (as you had mentioned) its major shortcoming is being required to pander to Nanoha fans. Episode 1 managed to avoid the subject entirely, episode 2 tacked it on haphazardly, and episode 3 is probably where I’ll give up hope and drop the show.

    Reply
  6. There’s just this eternal cycle where I’m curious to know what Dark_Sage thinks, visit Crymore, get triggered, remind myself Sage’s taste is shit, get curious again.

    3-gatsu & Yuri on Ice are the best things so far this season, and I plan on watching the SHIT out of Fune wo Amu

    Reply

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