No, I haven’t fansubbed in years, and I’m not about to start for Aho Girl

Article — By on July 8, 2017 12:39 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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After noticing a “Dark-Sage” branded torrent achieved 13 full downloads on nyaaC I knew I had to chime in. Got a reputation to maintain, after all!

earnest.post

 

Those of you paying attention to the extremely relevant fansubbing scene may have noticed a recent, trending torrent on a popular Nyaa emulation site, bearing my glorious moniker:

But it is with heavy heart that I must inform you this is in fact a falsehood, perpetrated upon your innocence by knaves of a most foul kind. Indeed, I fear ’tis the dreaded [fansub cartel] responsible for this affront upon your anime chastity. As they are, of course, the masterminds behind every retarded fuckpuppet the scene has limply dangled toward us since 2011.

This is a picture of Revy-chan, a top-tier waifu and entirely unrelated to this filler article.

 

Necessarily, this is cause for concern (hence the post). Dealing with the only people currently calling themselves scenekin — a bunch of posers who had no part in establishing a scene they’ve been so desperately apeing this past decade — is of 0 interest to me. But preserving the innocence of my consummate character? Why the half-a-handle of vodka in me almost demands an urgent response (10 minutes or less? criterion: met).

And that response?

  • No I am not fansubbing anything this season
  • No I will not be fansubbing anything new within either of our lifetimes
  • No I will not have sex with you or your boyfriend’s girlfriend

 

With that, I should mention I have another palace in P5 to run, so I absolutely must be off now. (I heard Kawakami won’t give my asshole a tonguebath unless I’m lv. 100, so I’ve got a grind to go.)

The only woman worth marrying. No asterisks needed.



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10 Comments

HeavenlyArmed says:

Huh, Kawakami seems more sober than I’d expect from you, but besides that it doesn’t surprise me much that you’d go for her.

NoctisCuadro says:

Really? Kawakami? I expected more from you.
Takemi best girl.

Dark_Sage says:

If you said headphones or sweatertits, I’d have given you benefit of the doubt since I haven’t gotten far enough to meet them yet. But Takemi? I’m not saying I wouldn’t, but unless her arc wraps up with her fucking dead people, she’s way too one-note for my cultured standards.

Shimi says:

I at least prefer this over DS that run a blog that does absolutely nothing ;D

Don’t hurt the new Boruto generations!

anony says:

>No I will not have sex with you or your boyfriend’s girlfriend
Even if I cosplay as a character of your choice, and make at least passable effort to act as well?

Dark_Sage says:

Look, I was drunk when I wrote that and may not have meant everything I said. Maybe we can give this a chance after all. (Yuno btw. I pick Yuno.)

ame (required): says:

Can you start with your summer 2017 article already? I might actually read it this time.

JoeSchmoe says:

Well if you’re not fansubbing, maybe you should go help Netflix stream more anime legally https://jobs.netflix.com/jobs/861389

On second thought, looking at the qualifications, maybe not :P

Dark_Sage says:

Maybe I could pull a Funimation and have my uncle negotiate all my deals for me.

wat says:

“The ideal candidate will have a strong background in anime licensing and deep familiarity with anime development and industry. In addition the candidate will require strong critical thinking skills that allow for intense attention to detail as well as the ability to see the big picture. Demonstrated mastery of verbal and written communication skills is also important as s/he will be called upon to lead meetings and give presentations to all levels of the organization as well as negotiate deals and manage external relationships with key partners.”

So autism isn’t a problem, being a whiny armchair general is desired and being able to speak English is something that might come in handy.

Welp, sign me up, sounds like my kind of jerb

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