Spring 2012 (Superior) Anime Preview

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Some people rightfully argued in my Megas Preview that I have poor taste in anime. I am so sorry. Allow me to make the preview that you were all hoping for.

Shows aren’t in any particular order within each tier. I find discriminating between shows of a similar quality to be racist and unbecoming of an intellectual like myself. No table of contents because fuck the mainstream.

 

Excellent Shows

AKB0048

“Fuck the system” is the message in this soon-to-be-critically-acclaimed series by renowned director Yoshimasa Hiraike. You probably aren’t unique enough to have read Nineteen Eighty-Four, Fahrenheit 451, or Eragon, but this dystopian title clearly borrows heavily from each masterpiece.

In the future, the power of song has been banned by a totalitarian government. But a group of nine brave women band together to change their fates and the fates of others with the power of song.

Expect a heartwarming story punctuated by deep bouts of depression and nihilism as the girls struggle to fight an unwinnable battle. But who will truly lose in the end? The girls or the very foundation of their evil government? Only time will tell.

Regardless, the messages and themes of this show will undoubtedly form the bedrock of eastern philosophical debate for centuries to come. Look forward to this one, it’s an instant classic.

 

Tsuritama

noitominA is always good and they make the best animes. This is simply a fact that any discerning anime viewer already knows. A French boy, an Indian, and two Japanese kids all end up realizing that love and friendship can exist behind a fishing pole. Amazing. That’s all the show needs to be successful and it’s all I’m hoping for.

I expect to be blown away by the deep character interactions which will result from a fusion of different cultures. This show defines humanity and is undoubtedly going to show that all people around the world can live together in peace because despite myriad differences we’re all human on the inside. Take that, racism! ^___^

 

Natsuiro Kiseki

As a QUALITY anime fan, I’m all about the plot in shows and this one looks amazing. Four voice actresses live out their daily lives. And… that’s it. Amazing. I wish other shows had the balls to put out a superior plot like this. I’m tired of shows which create their own universes, populating them with interesting characters, and creating a realm of escapism in which entertainment thrives. That’s not good anime!

Good anime is when Sara-san talks to Becky-san about her kawaii shoes and they go off to a donut shop and talk about boys. That’s the only kind of anime worth watching for true, mature anime fans and it’s exactly the kind of anime you’ll get with this show.

 

Uchuu Kyoudai

Alongside the likes of such critically acclaimed, high-quality series as Doraemon, Zatch Bell, and Sket Dance, Uchuu Kyoudai is a winner of the prestigious Shogakukan Manga Award. Among such stars, we can be assured this space-based series will shine with a similar light.

Most humans would be put off by a 48-episode series based around a reject with an afro trying to get into a space program despite having no discernible skills or qualities relevant to astronauts, who ends up relying on his brother’s status to finally get in, but those people just don’t get high-quality anime. The more pathetic a main character, the more fans like us can relate.

Much like the main character struggles to get over his insecurity and find a new job, we struggle with our own inability to manage our personal hygiene and gather enough courage to even look for jobs. Much like he relies on his past to find a way toward the future, we dwell in dreams of our past because we have no future. In essence, this anime is perfect for true hardcore anime fans like us.

 

Hyouka

Oh my gosh! Have you seen that animation? It’s perfect because KyoAni’s doing it. So much better than Shaft could ever do. And the main character is so dark and pensive! Kya~~

Any show that looks this boring, uninspired, and slow-paced can only be one thing: excellent. In fact, I’d venture to say it’s going to be the anime of the season considering how any normal person would fall asleep while just watching the trailer.

 

Good Shows

Accel World

Fat people are neglected by many societies for no good reason. Fat people are people too! Luckily, Accel World takes a look at this unfair situation and says “No!” A fat guy gets paired up with a really bishoujo (that’s Japanese for pretty) girl and becomes a hero.

In fact, the main character earns himself a harem really quickly. Now, normally I’m against harems in general because they promote poor gender roles for women and men (I’m a feminist!), but seeing someone as fat as me able to get a girlfriend brings a warm feeling to my heart. Is this what it’s like to be recognized? I sure am holding out for this to happen to me too because my current plan of only watching deep animes and criticizing people who actually can experience enjoyment from anime isn’t working. Neither is my “be friends with lots of girls in hopes that they’ll realize I’m a great boyfriend choice” strategy.

Accel World, save me from myself!

 

Acchi Kocchi

Expect pure hilarity! Japanese comedy is the best comedy especially because most baka gaijin westerners don’t get the jokes. I mean, just check these excerpts from the manga. If you don’t think this is funny, you just don’t have great taste in comedy.

Similar to Nichijou, this will be a true test for who has good taste in anime and who doesn’t. The only thing I’m worried about with the show is that it won’t be as HILARIOUS and RANDOM as Nichijou was. If I don’t get a robot (lol!) I’m going to be very sad.

But other than that, I think the Fun Train is going to roll on down the tracks. Choo-choo!

 

Fushigi no Umi no Nadia Remastered

If there’s anything I love more than my iPad™, it’s Ghibli movies. And Nadia is probably the closest thing to a Ghibli television series. Seeing a remaster like this makes me happy that the younger generation can experience such a high-quality series.

Also, it means Gainax is spending money and time remastering a series that no one really wanted remastered instead of putting that time and effort into a new IP. This pleases me because if there’s anything I hate more than new animes, it’s new animes that aren’t targeted at bitter, 30-year-old virgins.

 

Sakamichi no Apollon

Who wouldn’t be interested in a show about three random kids in the 1960s who like jazz? I’m certainly interested in their trials and trevails. After all, the anime is set in the past and anything that’s old is worthy of praise and nostalgia.

Beyond that, jazz is a groundbreaking musical genre that helped to spawn rock ‘n’ roll and rap. Being able to watch a show about a genre which ultimately resulted in The Black-Eyed Peas, Chris Brown, and Kanye West is an undeniable privilege and an honor.

 

 

Terrible Shows

Eureka Seven Ao

Ugh. Robots. So cliche and overused. I’d yawn if my body was capable of any action unrelated to being an insufferable, arrogant douchebag.

Can’t Japan come up with the original content I’m looking for? Something along the lines of cute high school girls walking around a town and laughing at how silly and fun life can be is what I feel would really make anime break the boundaries of art and transcend the human experience. But I don‘t think Japan is capable of that. It takes way too much creativity to create an anime based around everyday life so we’re stuck with a ton of robot shows this season and very little sliceoflife.

 

Saki: Achiga-hen episode of side-A

Shallow and pedantic. I postulate only individuals who masturbate to lolicon will be interested in watching high school girls gallivanting around in sometimes sexually ambiguous situations.

“How is that any different from most of the shows you recommended for this season?” you may ask…

Well, fuck you.

How dare you imply that my deep and meaningful shows of choice this season are anything close to the “people who like to watch high school school girls doing cute things” fanbase that this pedoshit caters to?! It’s completely different and I am OFFENDED you would attempt to compare such incredibly different kinds of shows.

… geez, you made me so mad I almost spilled my Starbucks coffee. Go back to your troll den, troll. We’re done here.

 

Zetman

My goodness gracious! This show looks so bloody!

You know, if we were in Europe, the land of Free Speech and Artistic Expression, this show would be banned. Unlike us pathetic Americans who shun sexual expression in favor of VIOLENT EVILRY, Europe hates violence and embraces sexuality. I know this because my high school history teacher told me so. Therefore, to be a more free society, we should censor all violent content and boycott disgusting shows like Zetman.

Zetman tries to play its violence off as “necessary” to tell the story it wants to tell. But if that’s the case, I don’t think the story needs to be told. If Zetman were a book, I would burn it.

 

Sankarea

“Can love transcend death?” Hah! What a pretentious question. And why are they asking such a question in an anime? They could just ask me. I know all the answers; I graduated high school after all.

Anything with zombies in it is bad. I know because I watched High School of the Dead and the breasts offended me. Breasts are unnatural, and last I checked the main female lead in this show (a zombie!) had breasts. Additionally, zombies are imaginary. If something can’t happen in real life, it shouldn’t be in an anime. What’s next for this show, re-inventing air? No thank you. I like my air how I like my water — bottled and sold in a convenience store for a 10,000% markup. Don’t mess with a naturalist like me, anime. I have a blog.

 

Medaka Box

Terrible manga = terrible show. I don’t understand why anyone would be interested in this. Just because a series is enjoyable doesn’t mean it’s good. In fact, if you actually like it, that means the series is doing something wrong.

Medaka breaks all the Cardinal Rules of Anime.

1. Thou shalt not have a strong female lead who fights for her goals and friends and risks her life in the process. It’s sexist to have a female take a traditionally male role.

2. Thou shalt not have unique characters, character development, or interesting character interactions. Animes are all about the story. Having good characters in a show can only detract from the plot, which is the only worthwhile part of animes.

3. Thou shalt not have pacing that’s quicker than one scenario change per volume. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” Words to live by.

4. Thou shalt not have real consequences or villains with any moral ambiguity. If the villains have any more depth than the baddies in Power Rangers, the show is clearly trying too hard and should be mocked as a result.

5. Thou shalt not have a cast of more than five characters. It gets too confusing for people to understand. Strong casts are the antithesis of good series.

Medaka Box is definitely the anime of the season to avoid at all costs.

 

Summary

Watch for sure:

AKB0048
Tsuritama
Natsuiro Kiseki
Hyouka
Uchuu Kyoudai

Watch when you get bored of writing that awesome novel of yours:

Accel World
Acchi Kocchi
Fushigi no Umi no Nadia Remastered
Sakamichi no Apollon

Avoid!:

Eureka Seven Ao
Saki: Achiga-hen episode of side-A
Zetman
Sankarea
Medaka Box

67 thoughts on “Spring 2012 (Superior) Anime Preview”

  1. I JUST realized why the character designs from Tsuritama looked familiar. That was nagging at me for a while. Uki Atsuya, how could I miss it?

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  2. You’re much funnier when your sarcasm is less obvious, Sage-kun!

    Honestly, though, it’s preposterous to try and judge what shows will be good, at least in a vindictive way, until they’ve aired. Shouting OH NO HYOUKA HAS CLASSICAL MUSIC IN THE PREVIEW THAT’S FOR OLD PEOPLE or I HATE JAZZ THAT MAKES APOLLON A TERRIBLE SHOW, or YAY, TITTIES just makes you sound like the kids I remember getting infuriated at for booing The Godfather when I took that film class in high school.

    Plenty of the shows you’re laying it down thick on have wonderful staff lists, or great casts, or countless other things that give them an above average shot at greatness. I’m not saying you have to appreciate all the SUPER DEEP THOUGHTFUL STORYTELLING AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE, but when you shove anything that looks like it plans on telling a decent tale at all at the bottom, and then hoist romcoms and prepubescent power fantasy battle shounen at the top, you can’t seriously expect everybody to react with unadulterated worship for your tastes.

    That being said, when all the sardonic cocksparring is set aside, I’m genuinely pleased that this season has equal amounts of material for all kinds of folks, whether they want to sit down with a slower broil of a story, or they want something more silly and to the point.

    Oh, but the one bit of faggotry in here that really can’t stand is your not having seen Nadia. Seriously, it’s a beautiful anime, and a really basic entry level show at that. Instead of trying to find fault in the character design from looking at a few screenshots to give you something to whine about, why don’t you give the remaster a shot, and fill in a gaping hole in your repertoire?

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    • Yes, indeed, this season has animes for everyone. If you don’t enjoy at least one anime this season, I guess anime is not for you anymore.

      Oh, also, Medaka is an bitch and even the characters say that on the manga. Deal with it(hope Gainax adaptate this well though, since it could be an fun ride).

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  3. It’s always sad to see someone who thinks they’re clever who, when asked to back up their opinions, just tosses out a bunch of dumb ad absurdum pot shots. Honestly, is it so hard to try and legitimately argue this, or do you think legitimate criticism is “I OWN AN iPAD AND I LOVE THIS SHOW HURF DURF” in some kind of ridiculous retort on the level of a third grader mimicking his sister in the back seat of the minivan?

    Seriously, seeing you shit all over a site for reviewing fansubs with your halfassed unfunny backpedaling is just annoying. Is it so hard to do what you’re good at, instead of using your platform to hurl cheap insults?

    Reply
    • I think you would enjoy the site more by ignoring Dark_Sage’s comments altogether. All you really need to do is take one quick look at the final grade that a fansub review receives. Review_Summary (whenever it gets fixed) and Season Review Wrap-Up posts make it easy to ignore all those “unnecessary and unfunny” D_S remarks.

      Dark_Sage should not be required to bog himself down trying to create articles that will appeal to everybody.

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    • Ah, legitimate criticism like “10/10 troll article. I knew it would be dumb with Medaka Box at the top, but holy shit did you deliver”?

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      • Wait, that was supposed to be a serious roundup the first time around? I thought these were parallel articles exploring horrifically stupid extremes.

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  4. Uchuu Kyoudai is still my most anticipated show, simply because space-related stuff are interesting for me and the manga is excellent.

    Anyway, I would waste my time joking around and making sarcastic comments about the animes you called excellent in your megas preview, but I guess I’m not you! xD

    Keep up the good ol’ usele-*cough* great posts DS! ‘-‘

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  5. sugoi hip desu! While sitting here drinking my microbrew (that some of you probably have not heard of)… I realized that this preview is very Portlandia, thanks Dark_Sage.

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  6. I get the feel that I’m missing the point entirely when my least favorite insult of the article is all the Nichijou hatred, a whole year after it airing.

    Behind the times, I guess ;_;

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  7. he he ok lol xD cause if doki’s was better i don’t care to wait …(and when it come to doki.. it can take 2 months to 3 years lol)

    anyway thanks =D

    don’t know why people so mad at you, you a nice person even though your nickname have “dark” in it =D
    (just kidding ofc)

    Reply
    • I wouldn’t recommend ever downloading Doki unless it’s a DVD/BD release and they’re using someone else’s subs. For the most part, they don’t have capable translators of their own.

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      • well lately they do mess up alot of stuff… (took their time more then usual, keep releasing patchs even in bunchs, and ofc seem to mess up the scripts here and there) but i see doki (or at least saw) as medium-good fansubers team.

        well since they don’t keep with persona anyway i will just rely on commie with this one :P

        thanks for the advise (i may use since doki really start to lose their glory lol)

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  8. btw just was wondering… you was searching for a logo and other stuff to your site correct?

    why don’t you just use some “materials” from the animes that you truly like? or use some “materials” from animes that people hate to troll them around and keep them away ;D (April fool coming soon lol)

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  9. Much better, although position of Saki proves that you have hard time trying to overcome your still a little bit too shitty taste. I sense strong desire to improve which deserves recognition, so… Gambatte with moe SoLs ^__^

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  10. Slice of life is shit (mostly anyway) and normal people like big robots like EUREKA AO. Anime is for imagination!!! if you want a slice of life watch drama. jesus…

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    • Someone doesn’t understand the concept of iyashikei. Honestly, what’s so hard to grasp about enjoying something peaceful, instead of your “normal people” fare of explosions and robots and frenetic action bullshit everywhere? Don’t take your personal ADD issues and use it to brand a whole genre “mostly shit”.

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      • Honestly? It’s not that EXPLOSIONS and ROOOOBOOOOTS and shit is what is preferred, or that something peaceful is the devil, but when the medium is being saturated by moe and slice-of-life where almost fuck-all happens save for EVERYDAY LIFE, it starts to get pretty fucking annoying.

        The problem is, the Japanese make and release EVERYTHING based on demographics and whether or not they continue it is more often than not based entirely on ratings, and it’s not just anime: happens in video games too. Anyone who’s played Final Fantasy XII knows that Vaan was entirely fucking unnecessary and they didn’t even want him in it, but they “had” to do it because it either wouldn’t sell to their adolescent market otherwise (’cause, you know, young Japanese kids can’t relate to an old war veteran, no matter what his conflict is, apparently), or they THOUGHT as such (to their credit though, they put him on the back burner more or less after the game’s first act, and it’s still good). I don’t know if the Japanese populace as a whole is really that shallow when it comes to entertainment or not, or if it’s like Hollywood: completely fucking retarded and, 90% of the time, lacking the balls to take any real creative risk.

        In any case, slice-of-life and moe, unless it is combined with some other, more interesting element (á la Shakugan no Shana and Haruhi), is pretty fucking bland because it tries too hard to RELATE to people IRL while, paradoxically, making everyone cutesy, what with all the face-faults and overblown emotive deliveries, which, in the end, seem pretty unnecessary, because, once again, all it is, is normal, everyday high school life. If we wanted that, we’d just go outside.

        Frankly, it’s not even that most of these shows are shit; hell, even I find Lucky Star to be oddly alluring, possibly because it more or less parodies the average weeaboo. But at this point, there is nothing to set most of these shows apart from each other. Almost all of them make use of your run-of-the-mill Skittles colour palette when it comes to character design (especially in the hair and eyes), and come to think of it, I can’t think of one that doesn’t. Not to mention, I also can’t think of one that isn’t about kids in fucking high school (or some kind of school). Even television dramas have more variety when it comes to setting. Every one of these involves the characters going to the convenience store, walking to and from school with each other, swooning over that dumb, oblivious pretty-boy, going to that festival, etc., etc.

        Maybe I come off as an elitist prick who needs to have his Ergo Proxy-esque philosophical/mythological/post-apocalyptic fix or Ghost in the Shell-like debates on what separates a man from a machine that looks like a man from a man that is part-machine or whatever. Call me pretentious, but at least you can stop and actually THINK about that sort of thing instead, “Oh yeah, I do THAT all the time, so cute!”

        Reply
        • It’s not about it being able to relate to them in the least, and I can’t think of a single SoL show with actual skittles colored hair in the past year, if ever. The very core of a good Slice of Life is having fun, likable characters engaging in simple, but fun daily activities. It’s calming, it’s enriching, and most importantly, it’s usually free from any kind of shoehorned forced drama by the nature of it not having very much conflict by definition. This has nothing to do with kids being unable to relate to war veterans, or the terrible franchise that is FF, it just boils down to getting to know a nice group of rounded, grounded people in a pleasant healing atmosphere.

          Tossing in a gimmick, or some unrelated story element to add fight scenes or pseudo-intellectual banter the way Shana and Haruhi do completely destroy that base in lieu of a different genre entirely, so I won’t get into that.

          Reply
      • It’s not…
        That we’re…
        Excited or…
        Anything. It is…
        The fact that…
        Most groups have…
        No idea how…
        To use…
        Them.

        And I’m not talking about just Hadena.

        Reply
  11. well i can say that Dark Sage talk a bit from experience here, i personally still love harems, slice of life, and other shows that Sage consider “childish” but i also can’t ignore the fact that most ecchi and slice of life series don’t proceed anywhere and most of the times have the same scenarios, compared to actions shows which most of the times things moveing there fast (included the story) Fate zero is a nice example for the action that i talking about. But anyway Anyone have his own taste, i love alot of animes and don’t see them as childish at all , oppositely i think that the people who watched animes and thought that it some kid’s show (and meanwhile trying to act more like “adult” by just laugh at it) don’t have mature personality… compared to people who doesn’t

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  12. Wow haven’t even seen any of them and you know all!?!?
    I noticed all your top shows to watch are the mushy faggoty self awarness type shows that make me puke on the floor.

    And the one funny show you rated as worse!!!

    To each they’re own, but don’t purport to tell me what I should watch and should like. Even if you did this as a joke.

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  13. So I’m still not sure whether this entire thing was sarcasm and your overall message was “Anime is shit,” or you were giving opposite “ratings” to what you actually thought.

    Either way, I’ll be watching a few of these shows, just cuz.

    Reply
    • The Megas preview is what I actually think. The Superior preview is my attempt to get in the minds of people who like this kinda shit.

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  14. Aside from the Nichijou slur…this was hilarious. Knew it would be golden when I saw AKB0048 at the top of the list.

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  15. While listening to me reading your opinions, my friend got so mad that he actually headbutted me.

    Headbutted me!

    That is all

    Reply
  16. Oh man, this article was so…superior. I think I lost it when I read the Fun Train’s “Choo-choo!”

    If you had the chance to post articles like these every once in a while D_S, you’d make some readers very, very happy. Hopefully it was fun to write, too.

    Reply

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