Ohayocon 2013 Days 0/1

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


So, I wonder how much I liked Ohayocon.

Day 0 – Thursday

Rolled into Columbus at 10 PM. Met up with Soup and we headed over to the hotel. The lady who checked us in asked if we wanted to stay on a quiet floor or a party floor.

Yeah, THAT was a tough decision.
Yeah, THAT was a tough decision.

We did early check-in for the con and saw some other nerds drinking in the bar once we got our badges. Then we went to sleep without talking to any of them, mostly because they were really fucking weird.



Day 1 – Friday

Friday, best day (of ANY con).

11:00 Chipotle for breakfast. Of course.


12:00 Best Anime You’ve Never Heard Of panel. We hoped this wasn’t gonna be done by the moron who put “Hen Zemi” in last year.

Luckily, it wasn’t. It was just done by a panel of four people, of whom only one ever said anything. So, what were these amazing anime?

Fantastic Children

Speed Grapher




Yup, that was it. Apparently I was only one of a few in the room to have actually heard of all those, so I guess I’m just way2anime4cons.


1:00 Fate/Stay Night. This was a pretty decent panel. It was informative, so it’d be boring to summarize.

Uhh, we talked about how Heaven’s Feel is apparently the greatest thing ever at least. Haven’t played the VNs, but anything that puts Bugs-in-her-vagina-chan in the spotlight has to be good.



2:30 Hit up the Guy’s Guide to Girls’ Anime panel. This panel was purportedly about all the best shoujo anime for men, but it was more of a “One Guy’s Guide to a Few Shoujos He Watched Once, Sort Of” panel. Like this guy’s last panel (BAYNHO), it had multiple panelists but he was the only one who talked.

Fushigi Yuugi

??? – I dunno, can’t remember this one.

Fruits Basket.

Ouran High School Host Club.

The final shoujo here? Madoka Magica. Yes, really. Not only was that the easiest cop-out ever (hey guys, did you know Eva is a good mecha anime?), but the show can hardly be considered shoujo — the target audience was not 13-year-old girls. If you’re gonna label it with one of the “four” (shounen, shoujo, josei, seinen), it would be seinen.

Soup, uhh, didn’t take too kindly to the designation of Magica as shoujo, and pretty much called the presenter retarded. To which the presenter retorted “Are you running a panel? Cuz I don’t think you’re running a panel.” (Mad! Mad! Mad!)

After a bit, the dude calmed down and apologized for overreacting, to which Soup only responded “You’re still wrong.”

Nurarihyon no Mago - Yuki-onna 03
Cold as ice


4:00 Underrated Series panel? Inaccurate. Try “Best shows that only forty-year-olds would like”.

  • Ideon.
  • Patlabor.
  • Cromartie High School. (You know why nobody talks about this show anymore? It’s because no one ever actually liked it. It’s just one of those “cool to like” shows that fades into obscurity because it’s not actually as good as it was hyped up to be. HOW IRONIC)
  • Hajime no Ippo.
  • Sexy Commando.
  • Gunbuster. (They went on and on about how this anime would “literally change your life”. Too bad it fucking sucked.)
  • Monster. (74 episodes of boring with an ending that brings it back to the first episode. Amazing.)
  • Princess Tutu. (Soooo underrated.)


If you’ve seen all of these, you’re too old to ogle the cosplay pics I’m gonna post later. I’m sorry, but them’s the rules.



5:00 Opening ceremonies! Ahahaha — no, fuck that. Dinnertime.

It was at this point we found out the Chipotle by the convention center closes at 4:00. Fuck everything. Subway instead, I guess.


5:45 We were in the elevator heading up to our rooms when Soup started talking about press badges once he noticed the other guy in our elevator had one. After a bit of tongue flappery, the guy was like “Do you give good press?” and I was like “lolol no, I say everything sucks.” So he gave me his business card.


~Guess I’m obligated to go to Youmacon now.~


6:00 Liquor


7:00 AMV Contest. The line was insane for this showing in the smallest room they could find because apparently no one thought AMVs would be a big draw at the con. Most of them sucked. Except one. That Toradora x Ano Hana (Ship between Menma and Taiga) was fucking weird, but goddamn impressive.


8:30 Liquor


9:00 Spike Spencer’s stupid shit. I dunno, we didn’t really have anything else to do so we thought we’d see what this panel is like. Because I’m not a virgin, I don’t really follow American seiyuu-kuns, so I didn’t know who this jerkoff was until people in the line explained it to me.

"Hey, I voiced the English version of Shinji Ikari and... that's it."
“Hey, I voiced the English version of Shinji Ikari and… that’s it.”

Then some guy ahead of us in line saw my “Dark_Sage” name badge and told me my Hyobu jokesubs suck. ;_; (I wouldn’t watch them myself, so whatever. Valid diss.)


9:12 Left Spike Spencer’s stupid shit. Goddamn this guy was more full of himself than I am. He spent the entire time we were there “acting” (read: smiling stupidly and pretending he was a baby) and trying to do accents or something. Apparently he thought this was still 1998 and he was still relevant.

We were the first to ditch, and I hoped he would call us out because I had a few “The 90s called and they want their AIDS back” comments loaded up. Unfortunately he was too far up his own ass to see us leave. It can’t be helped.


9:30 Rave.

Let's do this!
Let’s do this!


9:35 Left the rave.

Let's not.
Let’s not.

We’re not in middle school anymore.


9:45 Liquor


???-??? I dunno. Apparently we went to karaoke. I seriously cannot remember this part even though I took videos of the singers (which I have since deleted because apparently I can’t film while drunk).

This is probably the part where that one guy kissed me too (I don’t blame him; I’d fall for me too). Dunno what else happened because I really don’t remember much about this part of the night.

That's a good thing, right?
That’s a good thing, right?


12:30 “You Have Died of Dysentary” panel — basically it was an Oregon Trail playthrough where the decisions were made by majority vote. And everyone was completely fucking out of their minds (this is why Fridays are the best).

Soup was hitting on a Panty cosplayer while her friend was up as a participant in the “game”. I remember him constantly telling me to shut up so I guess I may have ruined our odds here. Note to self: Be slightly less drunk next time.


2:15 The guy from three previous panels we went to before (including the shoujo one) came up to us and thanked us for coming to each of his panels even if we were obnoxious cunts in each. He and Soup hugged (there might have been tongue there, but I’m not sure) and everything was smoothed over. @masterewok #heartwrenchingyoloswag


2:30 Panty and Stocking panel. We went cuz of the chicks from before, but it sucked, so we left and went to sleep.

panty stocking naito


Onto Day 2! …whenever I finish writing it.

58 thoughts on “Ohayocon 2013 Days 0/1”

  1. Seems that little Polish cons that take place in schools are far better than them big amerikkons. Except for the liquor. Also, you should troll more panels y’know.

    • I wouldn’t say the main takeaway from this series of Ohayocon posts is going to be that Ohayocon was bad. Rather, you’re meant to read between the lines and see that despite all the issues I had with it and whatever complaints I had, I still had a load of fun. If I hated cons, I wouldn’t go to them, after all.

  2. but i like gunbuster and opinions on the internet :C

    I still don’t get how popular AMVs are, though, nor where the appeal would be. Especially when people just resort to them when their series goes into hibernation for a year or two and breathe nothing but. :V

  3. Dark_Sage, you totes forgot about the oh-so-amazing soup-titled “how to panel panel.” It definitely prepared me to give a panel /Sarcasm

    I also don’t believe you effectively conveyed the mediocrity of the Karaoke, though i guess that is often implied. I will continue to stand by the fact that the Sheryl Nome cosplayer next to us, did a fantastic job singing, it was just unfortunate the fat asian guy that decided to sing with her had the vocal cords of a dog dying of bronchitis

    • I agree with Dark_Sage. Monster’s pace was slow and meandering. The series should not have had any more than 37 episodes. In fact, Monster really didn’t need more than 2 cours to tell its story. Much of the series was wasteful stalling.

    • They’re fun, but you should only bother going if you have a friend to go with. If you have no friends, find me on IRC sometime and I’ll see if the con intrigues me enough to go with ya (odds improve dramatically based on your moe level).

      • I might make that happen one day. May be a while, but I’ll hit you up if I make any plans. :) It’d be especially helpful since none of my friends IRL are into anime.

    • No, because people tend to look at faces/outfits more often than name badges, and this is the first con where I wrote in Dark_Sage instead of my real name. Kinda hard to tell who I am (and I’m not gonna wear a cardboard sign saying “I am Dark_Sage” because that’s retarded as fuck).

      I usually end up with plans to meet a few fansubbers/readers at each con though.

  4. >“Do you give good press?” and I was like “lolol no, I say everything sucks.”

    Never change D_S <3 It's like your hate makes me feel good, somehow.

  5. “I’m sorry, but them’s the rules.”

    Its *theirs* the rules, make fun of others people grammer but your some hippocrit FACEPLAM!

    • The Force is strong with this one?

      And that’s classic – every girl you’ve taken a picture of will now probably find this site *goes to put on suit*

    • How are raves fun? They’re just places where people obnoxiously flail about with bright lights and thirty year old losers go to grope high school girls. Maybe if I was desperate for sex with people equally as desperate, I’d play that lowlight roulette. But since I’m not, there’s no point to it.


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