Oh man, coming in at this arc makes me want to watch everything I missed. But then I remember that Index is irredeemable regardless of Biri-chan’s electroswag and turn my thoughts back to another Kino’s Journey marathon.
Table of Contents
Release format: MKV (393 MB, 10-bit), LQ MKV (240 MB, 8-bit)
English style: British English.
Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/MVdTQTAQ
Speed: Slow (>48 hours)
Group website: http://doki.co/
IRC channel: #firstname.lastname@example.org
Fansub.co screenshot comparisons: http://fansub.co/toaru-kagaku-no-railgun-s/
Subbusu screenshot comparisons: http://www.subbusu.com/view.php?id=16
Opening. The outgoing kara lines often interfere with the incoming lines, which does not present the most visually impressive experience. I loved the lightning effect Doki added, but was confused by the color choices made.
You generally don’t want karaoke to be unreadable before the syllables are sung, so I’m not seeing why the pre-kfx text was so light (especially in that first screen).
Ending. Stable and sufficient.
Can’t say I have any problems with how they handled the title. I like how they changed the positioning up depending on the screen.
Sponsor screens. I don’t know why.
What exactly is “repeating truth”?
These tenses don’t match.
it it it
Dark_Sage here. I don’t think you should use here so much here.
Commie had “Maybe they realized they were messing with the wrong people.” which makes far more sense.
Yes, you could interpret this as “Heh, they ran away. We’re so badass that we wish they came back to fight us because all we care about is fighting people.” but contextually that doesn’t fit even a fourth as well as Commie’s line.
Continued from the last two screens.
“Not really.” isn’t a sensible response to what the guy had just said, and the next line is in the wrong tense. “We’ve been…”//”…right next to you.” is how this should have been.
Please. The “us as” has no place here. They know they’re all part of Item, so this reads as a very terrible means of revealing their status to the audience.
Commie had “Sounds like the perfect job for Item.” and I’m inclined to agree you can just state the name like that and viewers will get what’s going on.
I was under the impression “esper” is the commonly accepted term.
No bonus. :(
Either “She saw through me.” or “She anticipated my actions.”
You’d use “here” instead of “there” because blonde-chan is talking from the same staircase she lured biribiri up to.
“It’s quite a nasty drop.”
“Even a high-level user couldn’t survive the fall–”
…is how I’d write this. Gets rid of the double “high” and fixes the second line, which is a fucking mess.
It’s “neither…nor”, not “not…nor”.
Commie had “You look like you’re watching someone with a death wish!” which, unlike Doki’s, is right. It’s Frenda who seems to be acting suicidal, not Biri.
What’s the deal with the underworld cleaner they’ve got standing by?
>Oh, nothing much.
>She’s just a little girl, not even that old.
…well, that was poorly phrased, but understandable. Thanks?
This would be right if they had “target’s” and “opponent’s” in these lines. Since you’re using plurals, though, it’s got to be “lives” and “fates” in these contexts.
“Well, I don’t hate people like you.” is what you wanted, Doki. But based on this script, I’m inclined to disagree with biri’s sentiments.
Language Use & Character
“in the end” is the only verbal tic of hers I could pick up on in Doki’s version.
I dunno, is this a Biribiri clone?
“Super-” is used. I assume this is repeated through the arc, since this girl only had like 4 lines in this episode.
Visual grade: B
Script grade: C+
Overall grade: C
This isn’t a terrible effort from Doki, but I doubt it’s your best bet for this show. Commie’s and Mazui’s reviews are up next.