This is me. A goofy-looking black guy who likes watching animated boobies.
Hi, folks, this is kokujin-kun (or koku for short). I just volunteered to be the new TL reviewer for this here site, and D_S was stupid enough to give me the keys. I’m thinking most of you kids never heard of me because, frankly, I translate animus you don’t give a shit about. Apart from all the crap I TLed for my own shitty fansub group (yay for free advertising), I also did TL/TLC work for GotWoot (Onii-chan no Koto, Souten Kouro, Showa Monogatari, Nana to Kaoru movies, a bunch of Mirai Nikki episodes for example), Saizen (Captain Tsubasa: Road to 2002, Captain Tsubasa J, Captain Tsubasa movies, Ashita no Joe, Igano Kabamaru), and TLed about a billion episodes of Yawara for FroZen-Evil, so I had a lot under my belt. The last current, weekly series I did was Sword Art Online for UTWoots, but I mainly stick to doing old, forgotten anime that people never heard of that get low download counts.
I just got done TLing the last episode of another old-school anime you’ve never heard of called Kyou Kara Ore Wa for Saizen (hurry the fuck up and get to work, guys) and I was bored, so here I am. I’m going to start by reviewing Summer Season animu since that’s what all you kids care about anyway (Who’s the best subber for Generic Harem Shit Anime #4568?), so no requests for TLCing backnumbers.
As for how I TLC, you’re allowed to play around with the translation and get creative. In fact, I highly encourage it. But if what the character actually says is simply not the same words, the same idea, or the same spirit as what is written in the script, out comes the red marker. However, here I want to strive for a higher standard than just getting the words right. The script has to be something that is actually readable and enjoyable. If your script was a book that is sold on Amazon, would I buy it? Would I recommend it to all my high-brow, literature-minded friends whom also happen to be into moeshit? So that’s why I will use these rankings:
Troll subs. Someone just demuxed Chinese subs and ran them through Google Translate. This is where you find mass naked child events, etc.
Although the script might be properly edited and it may have a good flow, the translation is so bad for so many important plot points that whoever relies on these subs will have watched a different story than someone who is fluent in Japanese.
The script has a bunch of stupid mistakes, but, as the grade suggests, the overall script is passable and the mistakes are not severe enough to impede the target audience’s understanding of the story. Watch these subs if you’re not picky, but I wouldn’t recommend them for archiving.
Okay, here’s where we get to the part where I want to elevate translation to a high art. “B” scripts will have a total of 3 to 6 small mistakes, depending on length. Hell, there will also be B scripts that technically have no translation errors. However, these scripts read like the TLer is better suited for translating instructions for how to use your new onahole than translating something that’s supposed to, you know, entertain people. These are for releases that contain your It Can’t Be Helpeds, Even If You Say Thats, As Expected Froms, and other worse offenders from this list. These are scripts where the translators are obviously relying on what’s written on jisho.org but are otherwise too incapable of turning a clever phrase. These are scripts that if you heard real actors saying them in movies, you’d burn the DVDs and immediately cancel your Netflix account.
These are scripts that are not only accurate, but are also ingenious, fresh, and fun to watch. The script writer(s) obviously has a sense of flow, characterization, pacing, humor, pathos, drama, comic timing, and all the fun and jazz that you like to see in your favorite books, TV shows, and movies. In short, you don’t have to enjoy your anime despite these subs. These subs perfectly complement it and are professional tier. There will be A subs that will have one or two mistakes. Depending on how severe they are and what my mood is that day, I’ll just bump them down to an A-minus grade.
These are subs where I’m writing down notes. I want to have the translator’s baby. I’m a Jewish mother and my son graduated medical school. But as you can imagine, I won’t be handing out this grade very often. These will mostly be reserved for when I actually find the subs to be better than the anime itself. Any group that goes out of its way to enhance my viewing experience of an otherwise shitty anime deserves special recognition.
And there you have it, TL;DR I’ll leave myself to your care. A couple more things I have to say before I go is that there may be some out there who’ll say that I should make allowances for groups that release subs say four hours after the episode originally aired. All I got to say is that if that rushed schedule is making you put out shitty scripts, then slow the fuck down and get your shit together. Or, if you don’t mind putting out half-assed scripts, keep releasing on that schedule — your choice. Hell, if there are groups out there that can release decent scripts on a tight schedule, then that should be a feather in their cap.
Also, too, although I strive to be perfect, fair, and perfectly fair in my reviews, I’ll probably make mistakes, like all us humans do. If I do make mistakes, don’t be afraid to point them out.