Let’s see how much of this I can get typed up while my 3-year-old niece finishes taking her nap…
After this, I think I only have one other requested review ([Tsundere] Toaru Kagaku no Railgun, which is an add-on to my previous Railgun comparison). I have two other random reviews planned, but please ask if there’s something specific you want to see. I don’t mind pulling random shit out of my ass. I watch so much anime that I can definitely find something to put up.
This was a very interesting comparison for many reasons. You’ll definitely see them below.
Also, if you haven’t watched this show, it’s a very pleasant twelve episodes. I found myself impressed. Not to mention that it reminds me a lot of Touhou! (Must be Zakuro resembling Reimu. Weren’t they both voiced by the amazing Nakahara Mai as well?)
Filesize: 569mb (576p DVD)
English: British, honorifics
OP matches the credits. No complaints visually. Translation-wise, it’s extremely lacking, like in this line. What is “it”? The flower petals from the line before? Something else?
Insert. Both times it appeared, it was k-timed. The similarity of the border color to the fill color makes this extremely hard to read.
On an English note, “lipstick” is not a countable noun, at least not in this sense. You wouldn’t have the “a”.
Example of “this is impossible to read”.
I feel like this could have been done a lot better.
Couldn’t typeset the title frame.
The lyrics in this release are generally a mess. You can kind of form some sort of meaning, but it’s not very easy.
This is probably the best line of the entire OP. And it’s ugly.
This line makes no sense, and the TL note doesn’t fix it. The line following this is “Naru?” and then they go on about whether or not it’s related to the soldiers coming. I missed the meaning of this entire scene.
British spelling all over the place!
They also prefer to use “alright”.
“everyday” is an adverb. I believe you’re looking for “every day”.
This release suffers a lot from poorly phrased lines. The “naru” bit is by far the worst, though.
Also, they keep “youkai” and “youjin” untranslated, which may be confusing at first.
Filesize: 348mb (720p TV)
English: American, no honorifics
Easy to read and it actually kind of makes sense.
I’m not exactly sure where the blue came from. It doesn’t match at all.
This is how the insert was treated.
Thank you for translating this, guys. I can definitely see the effort. Couldn’t you have increased the bolding on “Zakuro”, though? And had a darker shadow on the diamonds?
This looks much better than what Polished tried to do.
They didn’t do the eyecatches either.
But this was done.
Nothing wrong with this. In fact, quite the opposite. After Polished’s major blunder on this line, I was wondering how Underwater-Ryuumaru would fare. And the answer? Extremely well! This is absolutely perfect.
My main problem with this script is that it doesn’t know what an em dash is.
will –> would.
I see this happen all of the time, so let me explain.
Will implies that something is going to happen in the future. There’s no “if” about it; it’s pretty much guaranteed.
Would implies that if certain conditions are met, it will happen.
So we have to look at this sentence. I see a condition here: “if he discovers that I’m afraid of spirits”. Thus, it’s not guaranteed that this will happen. But it would, as long as the condition is met.
No comma needed.
This was a very nice script, em dash issues aside. I do want to make a note, though. They translated “youkai” to “demon” and “youjin” to “spirit”. Whether or not that’s 100% accurate is up to the Japanese-speakers in the audience. However, it gets the point of this show across: racism against a non-human race. People treat them as “youkai” when they are actually simply “youjin”. Replace those words with what Underwater-Ryuumaru used and it makes perfect sense.
tl;dr: Underwater-Ryuumaru is the way to go. Polished’s script is clunky as fuck, including the songs. Underwater-Ryuumaru’s script is mostly solid with only a few tiny mistakes.