Winter 2014 W3: The scores are legitimate

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


The commentary is too. Maybe.

Buddyfight (Episode 01-02)

"The trick is to keep trying and go after what you really want!"
“The trick is to keep trying and go after what you really want!”

Not since Gundam Build Fighters has there been a show so blatantly obvious in its attempt to promote a shoddy product.

And I’m talking about the card game, not blu-ray releases and figures, which are totally legit to promote.

The card game is probably the worst TCG I’ve ever seen, since it appears to be based primarily around cool-looking monsters rather than cute, busty anime girls. Good luck getting money if you won’t let me build an all-girls deck, Bushiroad.

Rating: 6/10



Hamtaro S2 (Episode 02)

With the second episode, it looks pretty obvious that Hamtaro is going to be a problem-of-the-week type of show. The only innovation to its tired formula is the addition of one edgy plot twist to each episode.

The person you thought was good was actually evil! Plot twistz!

Hamtaro seems to think that trotting out its black mascara-covered one-trick pony once every week will be enough to keep viewers satisfied. Yeah, I’m sure that’ll keep them distracted from the crushing mediocrity of the other 23 minutes in the show. Maybe Murasaki could push his glasses up more!

Rating: 8/10 9/10



ImoCho (Episode 02)

I hope that anyone who enjoys this show feels insulted by how little Japan thinks of them. “A little girl being unable to piss because of her chastity belt ends up pissing all over herself while her brother watches. That’ll get the hits!”

You should really be careful of viewing any thread with the potential for ImoCho screenshots in public.
Oh wow, so hot.

Then you have to take into account the rape scenes, which are intended to target the audience that may not think watersports are great, but that lesbian sex is totally the bestest thing ever.

ImoCho - Greatest Anime Ever So Great
All sex is rape, especially rape!

If you give this shit anything above a 1/10, you have no morals and even less taste.

Rating: 9/10 7/10



Mahou Sensou (Episode 01)

I don’t believe there’s any anime out there less aware of its plot holes than Mahou Sensou.

When people come into contact with magic, it makes them flip out and try to kill magic users!
When people come into contact with magic, it makes them flip out and try to kill magic users!
But if you come into contact with magic...
But if you come into contact with magic… become able to use it yourself.
…you become a magic user yourself.


If you're evil and use magic to hurt others, you lose your magic.
If you’re evil and use magic to hurt others, you lose your magic.
But if you're good and use magic to hurt others, you become the main character!
But if you’re good and use magic to hurt others, you become the main character!

Any anime that expects its viewers to be drawn to a world so poorly thought-out must think of them as nothing less than meatbag wallet holders who lack the capacity for thought.

This is a hastily made shounen cash-in project, nothing more.

Rating: 8/10



Nisekoi (Episode 01)

This show is Shaft’s attempt to prove that cheap animation tricks will be able to save any source material, no matter how vapid and soulless.

"I bet if we put random glitter in this scene, people will like it!"
“I bet if we put random glitter in this scene, people will like it!”

Nice try, Shaft! But for anyone to keep watching this show, they’d have to have absolutely no self-respect, and they’d have to admit to themselves that they don’t just watch anime series for the plot and characters. Better luck next time.

Rating: 7/10



Nourin (Episode 01)

Much like Log Horizon, Nourin is a poorly disguised attempt to cash in on another anime’s success. Unlike Log Horizon, however, Nourin attempts to do this with a series that… didn’t really have much to begin with.

Nobody will remember this shit a year from now.
Nobody will remember this shit a year from now.

You’re looking at the same tired “lol animals can be so whacky” and “please respect the great banzai farm ancestors of our forefather-samas” formula that caused you to drop Gin no Saji after two episodes not two seasons ago. About the only “innovation” this series adds is an abundant amount of fanservice.

Hah! Like anyone would be bribed into watching a show by guys who push up their glasses...
Hah! Like anyone would be bribed into watching a show by intellismart guys who push up their glasses…
...or kuudere glasses girls.
…or kuudere glasses girls.

Rating: 7/10



Noragami (Episode 02)

If Noragami throws any more of its source material out, Noragami will be more of a rewrite than anything approaching a faithful adaptation.

Danger, danger!
Danger, danger!

Surely Bones has realized by now that adapting manga series by putting their own spin on them is a dangerous idea. Let’s hope they go back to the manga’s course before they do something too drastic.

Rating: 7/10 8/10



Sakura Trick (Episode 01)

Cute girls kiss each other in a setting where it’s made abundantly clear that they aren’t really lesbians, because that would be gross!

Sakura Trick - We swear they aren't gay

But it’s okay, LGBT advocates! The girls like each other well enough, so you can consider this show a perfect example of Japan’s progressiveness. Feminists, you’re now allowed to enjoy anime! Rejoice!

Rating: 8/10



Sekai Seifuku (Episode 01)

Sekai Seifuku is a complete departure from its director’s previous masterpiece, Darker than Black. At this rate, it looks like we won’t be getting any of the lack of creativity that so marked that Greatest Anime of All Animes. I mean, just look at the cast:

Why don't these guys have superpowers? Why are the designs so original? This is bullshit.
Why don’t these guys have superpowers? Why are the designs so original? This is bullshit.

The main character is the worst, though. That he appears to have a personality is completely contrary to any of the brilliance that marked Darker than Kubo. How the hell am I supposed to self-insert now?!

Ugh! I don't have a braid, Tensai! Why do you do this to me?!
Ugh! This is all wrong. I don’t have a braid, Tensai! Why do you do this to me?!

Seeing Okamura give the character a personality that doesn’t match my cool, stoic presence (that the ladies love!) is a slap to the face of all his true fans. What a fucking talentless hack.

Rating: 10/10



Space Dandy (Episode 02)

How far can a series go solely by relying on the reputation of its director?

Space Dandy thinks it'll go pretty far.
Space Dandy thinks it’ll go pretty far.

The basic concept here is that Space Dandy goes through space being all silly, and along the way meets new friends and experiences emotions.

DAE my feels?!
DAE my feels?!

We can only wonder what great lesson Space Dandy will learn on the next episode of You’ve Seen this Before: The Anime.

Rating: 8/10 7/10



Witch Craft Works (Episode 02)

Witch Craft Works seems to have gotten it into its head that the only way to save the series is by trotting out enough anime girls in skimpy outfits that the viewer forgets how mind-numbingly terrible the two protagonists are.

I just want to beat these shitheads until they show the tiniest bit of fucking emotion.
I just want to beat these shitbags until they show the tiniest bit of fucking emotion. Give me a bloody smile, for chrissake.

The worst part is how forgettable most of the girls are that they think will save the series.

Guess which one's Mai and which one's Mii. Go on.
Guess which one’s Mai and which one’s Mii. Go on.

If that isn’t bad enough, all of the girls want MC-kun’s “sticky white stuff” because of :reasons:, even though he’s such a useless piece of shit. Way to dredge the concept barrel, guys!

Rating: 6/10 7/10



Wizard Barristers (Episode 01)

If you haven’t seen the show, here’s the gist: MC-chan (purple hair) is a young defense attorney who believes everyone is innocent of any crime. Testing her stated beliefs, she and her coworker get ambushed by thugs in a park.

wizard barristers - fuck this chick Wizard Barristers - yes you are actually watching an attempted rape - thanks Japan

Wizard Barristers - quality entertainment bleed some more

Of course, since she’s the MC, the attempted rape and subsequent scarring of her friend only serves to strengthen her resolve, as she promises to represent their attackers in a court of law.

Wizard Barristers - more like wizard boringsters zing zing zing

Japan actually thinks this is the kind of shit that makes a good character.

Rating: 4/10



Youkai Watch (Episode 01)

It’s a show made for Nintendo fans.

Youkai Watch - pudding time

Rating: 2/10



Z/X Ignition (Episode 02)

Z/X Ignition is the kind of shit that comes about when someone has a good idea (dark, apocalyptic card fantasy) and is then informed they have to set the target audience about 10 years younger.

I’m supposed to be a badass angel killer, but I will flinch away from the protagonist and his angel at whatever chance I get.

The show struggles to make an impact on the viewer because despite the episode 1 scene where a bunch of people die, it’s pretty clear that the main fights are going to result in very little actual bloodshed.

This is only exacerbated by the fact that everyone we meet in the second episode is still alive in the first and getting along with one another (which takes place in the future from episode 2), meaning we know little of consequence is going to occur so long as the flashback episodes continue.

Rating: 6/10 7/10




Thoughts, Graphed


Sorry, I’ve already made the graph. Can’t waste any more time making a new one.

51 thoughts on “Winter 2014 W3: The scores are legitimate”

  1. I had hoped you would complain about the character designs in Wizard Barristers. The protagonist has one of the worst character designs I’ve ever seen.

    • I decided to switch between heavy sarcasm and honest commentary (that was made independently of the score). Then I lost track of what I was doing and started to mix them together.

      Like the title says, the scores are legitimate. And per the intro, the commentary is too. Maybe.

  2. I also loved the first episode of Sekai Seifuku ~Bouryaku no Zvezda~.

    About Witch Craft Works. Once the “white stuff” is out of the useless main character you will know why they want it. Also I’m watching it because I want to see more of the Ivory Quintet ( I think we will see them regularly ), the little sister and Chronoire. And that ED is so catchy.

    • The manga was refreshing, but I’m not sure if I can take 12 episodes of nothing but “*giggles* tee-hee I kissed you~”. That’s a lot of time to invest in fluff.

      Hopefully I’m wrong and it’s worth the trip.

      • I dunno, that nonsensical flip over the edge scene was decently funny. I’m hoping the “we kiss randomly” will be more of the window dressing, and less of the content in the next couple of episodes.

        • Yeah, it was a good scene. My only fear is that by the end of the season it’s gonna wear out its welcome. We’ll see where it goes.

  3. Assuming you weren’t just exaggerating to be funny (which you probably were), the plot holes in Mahou Sensou are pretty easy to explain. Only children become magicians by being exposed to magic, so those who hate and fear magicians are the adults. Children are probably just more susceptible to suggestion, still being young and impressionable. May be a cop out, but it’s at least logically consistent.

    As for why they can use magic to hurt other magicians, I’m not certain but my best guess is that how you use that magic matters. Mui was able to use her magic against another magician, not by attacking him directly but to indirectly blind him instead. Takeshi was able to use his magic because it solely acts on himself, not on the other person. If your intent is to harm them with magic, you get your powers stripped. Biggest problem with this though is that it’s explicitly stated that Ancestral Magic (which Evasive Magic definitely is) is forbidden without any mention of exceptions, which is why I’m not sure about this one. It seems like too big a plot hole to gloss over though, so I imagine they’ll come up with an explanation at some point.

    • Semi-exaggeration. There are lots of asspulls one could use to explain the world of Mahou Sensou. I just don’t believe the world was properly thought-out.

      We could argue back and forth all we want (“If children were magicians, then wouldn’t the adults kill them too? Especially since children would be more likely to not have full control over their powers and would lack the wisdom to use them properly?” “But like what if the children were geniuseses and like nobody realized they were magics?”), but a solidly defined world would not require us to argue specifics on unexplained plot holes.

      • I don’t want to argue about this too much as it’s simply a self-insert chuu2 world where magic actually exists behind the scenes and “wouldn’t it just be the coolest if YOU could be a magician too?”, but the pure bloodlines of magicians probably kept to themselves and existed since the beginning, which kind of nullifies the point about human adults massacring all the children. I feel like there was another point I wanted to make, but I got distracted imagining myself as the protagonist with the seemingly weakest (but actually strongest) power, the magic gunsword of one of the 15 great mages, and all the girls after my dick.

  4. I’ve decided that Nisekoi is an experiment. Shinbou picked the absolute most cliche, terrible manga he could find in order to see if he could make it watchable. That’s the only way for me to make sense of it.

    • Except he only made it more unwatchable with his trademark directing.

      Gawd, Nisekoi looks so cheap. I thought I was watching flash animation.

      • Ratings out of 10 are always iffy like that. People mean different things by them, and there’s no absolute benchmark that everyone can go by. For some people a 5 is average entertainment: something that does its basic job by entertaining you but doesn’t surprise or provoke thought. For other people, all numbers less than 8 are just describing different grades of dogshit.

        If you know an individual reviewer and how they tend to rate things then it’s not a problem. It’s more a problem when you get aggregate ratings from multiple users, since then it’s combining ratings that are effectively not using the same system.

          • No, it isn’t, but what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. What I said holds true for any number you want to rate things by, unless you’re using a binary 0/1 system, so just scale it up as needed.


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