This may surprise you, but I used to run track in high school. Not, like, as a sport, but I ran the mile when they asked us to. As such, I feel I am qualified to talk about this very important subject.
You know what, this isn’t even an opinion piece: I’m just gonna lay down the facts.
Fact 1: The stats don’t lie; there are no recorded instances of ninja runners losing a race to non-ninja runners. However, there are multiple recorded instances of ninja runners emerging victorious.
Fact 2: Aerodynamic efficiency. There’s a reason cars aren’t shaped like towers — why the fuck would anyone run upright?
Fact 3: It looks way fucking cool.
The Ultimate Takeaway:
You will be anime if you ninja run.
So the next time I meet up with one of you pricks at a con or something, and I ninja run across the sidewalk, screaming “ninja run!” I swear to god you better fucking run like that alongside me. It gets kinda awkward when I’m the only one who does it. :<