A Very Crymore Raffle

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


If you post anywhere on Crymore between now and whenever I decide this Christmas special ends, you’re gonna be entered into a raffle for shit I don’t want.

The prizes:

Option 1 – Amiibo v.1

Marth Amiibo - Peace Electronics

  • ONE (1) of the following Amiibos
    • Marth
    • Wii Fit Trainer
    • Villager
    • Princess Peaches
    • Mario
    • Luigi
    • Samus
    • Pikachu

The Amiibos are all the American edition, new in box. Some of them sell for quite a lot.

Completed ebay listings.
Completed ebay listings. If you sold one, you could buy a *real* figure!



Option 2 – Amiibo v.Sloppy Seconds


Second pick of the Amiibos. So if someone picks the Peaches, you can have your choice of the remainder.



Option 3 – Some shitty Ubisoft game

  • A PC download of ONE (uno) of the following shitty Ubisoft games
    • Far Cry 4
    • The Crew
    • Assassin’s Creed Unity
Ore no Creed
Assassin’s Creed is the anime-est, so I recommend that one.



Option 4 – Sengoku Basara 4


  • Used, Japanese region

I overestimated how fun the game would be if I couldn’t understand what the fuck the characters were saying.



Option 5 – Aesthetica of a Rogue Hero


  • New, BD version

I accidentally bought a second copy of this, and returning things is a hassle.



Option X – A blowjob

Deep throat

  • A coupon for one free Dark_Sage blowjob
    • Note that you will have to provide said blowjob
    • This coupon will be distributed to everyone as a courtesy




The rules:

Nichijou's Best Girl

  1. You’re disqualified if I don’t like you
    • If you win something, I need your address anyway, so this is for the best
  2. I need some way of contacting you, so post with a valid fucking email address
  3. Even if you’re in some shithole (aka anywhere that’s not America), you qualify



The process:

Sayaka doing xtreme math

I’ll use Excel and a random number generator or something. Whoever gets pulled first will have first pick of the prizes. Second gets second pick, and so on. I haven’t exactly thought this out very far.

Note that first pick is limited to people who have posted on Crymore before, just in case some redditards get wind of this giveaway.



Post end:

I'm at least 30% confident this raffle will end well. Let's find out.
I’m at least 30% confident this raffle will end well. Let’s find out if I’m right.

112 thoughts on “A Very Crymore Raffle”

    • Records say Rec.

      (For anyone else who can’t remember, I’ll check name, email, and IP. So if you had a fake email/random name before, but your IP’s the same, you’re good to go. If not, RIP you.)

  1. >offering Marth/Villager Amiibos
    You have just made a horrible, horrible mistake. Once amiibofags get word of this, expect a flood of comments (despite the rules).
    RIP this raffle.

      • I was under the impression that Nintendo’s stoic refusal to implement any form of 21st century Internet connectivity into their devices was due to the technological incomprehension of said fans.

  2. >No Link amiibooooit’ssoshortbutIalwaysforgethowtospellit oh right it’s amiiboo or something

    My main knows no love ;__;

    I don’t even know if that was even released in wave 1

  3. All right, I’m passing out for a bit. For anyone who hasn’t commented before, all new commenters’ comments need to get approved manually, so don’t freak out if yours doesn’t pop up immediately.

  4. Most people who enter raffles are like “I never win these things. I’m long overdue.”
    But…i’m not going to lie when I say I have amazing luck with these things.

    Let’s see if my luck continues.

  5. Dear Dark_Santa,

    I wish for a shitty Ubisoft game that is not The Crew or for the Rogue Hero BDs so that my shelf can finally collapse.

    I’ll even bribe you with some milk and cookies – though they may be rotten and/or burnt.


    Your very naughty kayserlein

  6. Looks like D_S bought an NVIDIA card recently (as did I). Shitty choice of games, especially considering they require uPlay installed. :/ Not sure if or when I’ll ever install FC4 because of that.

    Posting for everything else tho~

        • Aside from the fact that it kinda dies anytime a game comes out and it has a tendency to lose save files, I don’t mind it. I’ve never encountered either of those two issues personally and they streamlined the launching process so if you’re running a game from Steam (and Uplay doesn’t happen to need an update) it’ll take five seconds to start up and then load your game without any further input. I don’t see myself ever buying games directly on the Uplay store, but I wouldn’t avoid owning something just because it requires Uplay either. These days it manages not to suck too much most of the time.

      • At least you only said we’ll have to provide it and not that we ourselves actually have to do it.

        So, looking from that point of view, it may not be so bad. I mean, my neighbor have a very noisy pit bull that I’m not much fond of, so I guess that if I win, I could, erhm, let’s say, arrange a meeting between you two. *evil grin*

        Of course that it could be more of a bitejob than a blowjob and that in the end you could end up not being a man anymore, but that’s all part of the game, huh?

  7. Merry Xmas, Dark_Sage (tho it’s little late) and happy New Year(in advance)! I’m looking forward to your reviews for the winter(2015) season, because the reviews for fall (2014) weren’t enough. I wanted to learn more about proper english and how to use it from here. The previous seasons I had fun reading all the fights, but that wasn’t the case for the fall. Looking forward to that, too!

  8. I’ll join in the fun. I deserve something because I met Dark Sage in the flesh twice in my whole life! He is so handsome to the point where he looks like your typical IT guy from IBM.

    Heck, I still have that picture of me and him on my phone!

    WARNING! If I don’t win something, I shall release that pic on the internet and spam it on 4chan! :P

  9. Looks like it was the right idea to check up on this place once in a while. I’ll enter for the amiibos! Although I can’t use them yet, I’m just going to think of it as a future investment~

  10. So I’ve been posting for a while here now, but I’ve always been too lazy to use a real email address. Will that be a problem as far as verification?

  11. All right, raffle close is when I post my collection. So ETA a few hours.

    Don’t wanna jinx it, but this has gone pretty well so far. \o/

    • Raffle end. Shit, that went really well.

      All right, I’ll do the drawings tomorrow. I’ll try and find some way to livestream it so those of y’all concerned about Sagey shenanigans can rest easy.

      Good luck, desu.

      • 78 qualifying entries, I’ll start the drawing at 11 PM US Eastern Time and have a link to the stream shortly before then.

        You don’t need to attend the stream to win; I’ll be sending notices out via email. This is just if you wanna audit the drawing (which I think is fair) or watch me fail at RNG.

          • And over with. I hate Twitch.

            First pick: Qrius
            Second pick: begna112
            Third pick: DiGGzBoT
            Fourth pick: animegio
            Gomenz @ you pick: somewhatAnonymous

            78 entries, five winners, so most of you were fated to lose anyway. Blame the gods, not my cheap contest. (I’d give you all prizes, but I don’t have the fansub donation money to blow like some others do.)

            The raffle was pretty much intended as a test run, and I think the concept worked. So… expect a notably better raffle (quality and quantity of prizes) next time. Emails shalt go out soon. If winrars don’t reply within, I dunno, 24 hours, I’ll redraw for that pick, but you should probably resign yourself to your fate.


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