See you at Anime Detour? (For the love of god please save yourself)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.


We Minnesotans cannot do anime cons.


Anime Detour 2016

Minnesota! We have:

Even the official art is warning you away.
Anime Detour: Even the official art is warning you away.

Look, I’ve been to Detour once before and the experience was enough to make me never want to go back. Pretty sure I scarred enough reminders into my wrists that weekend that I’ll never be able to wear short sleeves again.



So… Why are you going this year?

Asking myself the same thing.
Asking myself the same thing.

I honestly don’t remember how I got dragged back into this shit, but I got my badge and hotel room already, so… fuck it. Can’t be as bad as it will end up being, right?

(Also, Caly promised me Jello shots, so at the very worst my liver will fail and save my soul from the rest of the con.)



Quality Content

You call that “content”?

Here are some examples of actual Anime Detour panels that real humans are presenting this year:

  • American Aidoru
  • Diet and Diabetes
  • Fairy Tail Tells All!
  • Undertale: Anime IS Real!
  • Tokyo Ghoul Truth or Dare
  • Anti-Social to Semi-Social in 60 Min. or Less
  • RWBY: The Next Evolution of Anime?

For your benefit, if I decide to kill myself at the con (odds are looking pretty good), I promise I’ll livestream it. Otherwise, expect a flurry of distraught tweets followed by an article that none of you asked for.



The Crew+


  • Dark_Sage
  • Calyrica
  • Omex
  • Omex’s girlfriend (she’s probably got a name, I just forgot it)

Not sure why, but the rest of the crew appears legitimately psyched for this shit. Guess they don’t understand that sometimes you can only have the most fun when you’re having the least.


As always, you’re free to hang out with us (or just me~) if you’re in the area. If I haven’t even killed the Commie devs I’ve met, you’re probably safe.

Social media: @feedmeyourtears

Email: darksagerk at gmail dot com

43 thoughts on “See you at Anime Detour? (For the love of god please save yourself)”

  1. Looks like the con depressed you a bit. Cheer up and do the following things only anime detours can offer! You can always meet your favorite American voice actor/actress to make yourself feel better or you can get an autograph from the famous mangaka Tomoko Taniguchi.

    • Oh my god, that guest list. Didn’t even think to look until I re-read your comment.

      Unpopular twitch streamers, people who quit doing things when ADV died, and the only Japanese person who said yes when a creeper asked them if they wanted to come to an intentionally irrelevant Minnesota con…

      What a world we live in.

    • You’re also missing out on:

        Violent Japanimations
        Steven Universe – Singing and Crying
        Rick and Morty: The Anime
        Your Fave is Problematic (Note that this panel isn’t named ironically, it’s run by SJW cancer)
        The Misadventures of the Blonde Geisha
        How to Write and Podcast about Anime

      (For anyone who actually does plan on dropping by on a lark, they’re sold out of badges because the fuckwits behind Anime Detour refuse to expand the con beyond a 5,000 person limit. So if you aren’t 100% sure I’ll like you enough to lend you my badge for half the con, I wouldn’t recommend driving multiple hours for this.)

  2. Alright so I’m leading both the undertale and rick and morty panels– this is quite rude, all considering both panels are making fun and poking at anime in parody and genre, which you may have figured out by looking at the description…? Also the 5000 limit is because of fire code…

    • Undertale and Rick & Morty are both (ignoring their fandoms) quite enjoyable, but they aren’t anime, and it kind of pisses me off when people try to dilute the anime scene with their normalfag bullshit.

      Like, why aren’t you doing “Game of Thrones Gone Anime” or “Animes Walter White Would Like to Watch (And Taylor Swift Too #lolrandom #imsoquirky)”? Each of those are just as relevant (if not more) than what the programming guide is suggesting your panels are.

      Cancer is cancer, and I hate seeing my fandom ruined by people -who don’t even like anime- trying to co-opt the scene and turn everything into Generic American Pop Culture Fest 20XX. Don’t you kids have other things to ruin, like your own lives?

    • Also, the fire code thing isn’t even an excuse. Venue expansion or change is how every other con has managed the problem in the past. Anime Detour isn’t unique — it’s just led by ineffectual idiots.

  3. If you commit suicide at the con, can I take over CryMore?
    Jokes aside, I will be waiting for some shitty cosplay pics, if there is any.

    • Current (and actual) Crymore succession plan is if I die, Caly takes over and keeps the site running for a fair amount of time. In return, she gets my anime collection. So yeah, I think the odds of me dying under mysterious weeb-related circumstances are better than suicide.

      Will try to get some pics, but considering the last time I went I only bothered to snap one, odds are not looking good for top quality.

  4. Claudia isn’t coming to the US until next month, so she won’t be here for Detour. But Omex’s roomate, Kona, will be there. And this guy he knows named Joe that we want to introduce to you because he has *anime opinions*.

    • I like the community feel of cons, and anything as large as Anime Expo won’t be able to scratch that itch. As far as cons this year, I haven’t really thought it out. A bunch of the crew will be heading to a small California con near the end of the year, but I don’t know much about it (or even the name) — just that we’re going.

      I’m open to recommendations.

      • Otakuthon’s pretty fun, if your willing to come up north. But it’ll probably have 25,000+ this year, so not exactly small.

          • Eh, I imagine most hotels would have bilingual staff, so aside from buying metro tickets you shouldn’t have too much of a problem. I think.

            Find someone to help you with the hotel-convention center trip and you should be fine.

            Afaik there are a decent amount of unilingual tourists who manage. Not to mention all the unilingual residents.

            • Hotels? Transportation? I travel weekly for work, so I have no problem with the travel portion of it (hell, I was going to Costa Rica next weekend until I realized I waited too long on getting a ticket).

              More importantly: Are the girls cute? Can I get by at the con with just a few French phrases? How much shitty Asterix cosplay am I gonna have to endure? Had a fine time with Vancouver and Toronto, but I know Montreal’s its own thing in more ways than one.

              • Plenty of Anglophones and bilinguals at the con. My french is pretty rusty, but I manage fine. Then again I don’t talk to people much.
                Also, being bilingual is a requirement for all the info/registration staff and volunteer positions iirc, since they expect the local anglophones anyway.
                Only issue should be the exibition hall, not all the sellers and artists speak English.
                I don’t think I’ve ever seen an Asterix cosplay?

                Also everything’s open later here than in Toronto, so that’s a plus.

                • Living in montreal, I can tell you that 99% of the people here speak english. There are even some that don’t speak french or that speak english better than french.

                    • And most important of all, enough cute young asian girls to make you nosebleed. I don’t think there will be a lot of Asterisk cosplays, but prepare yourself for the wave of OPM, Naruto, Tokyo Ghoul and SnK.

                    • Hmm, two readers who go there, qts, poutine…

                      Fine, I’m in. Now I’ve gotta convince some of the meme crew to join me~

                    • Those 100M-Titan bodysuits are cool though.
                      And there’s that guy who wears the “This still isn’t the worst Naruto cosplay you’ve ever seen” sign.
                      Plus we have that Jack Sparrow guy.

                      I actually can’t wait to see the OPM cosplays. Hope there’s a top-tier Genos.

                • Nah, I pre-registered. Thursday might be tricky as I fly in that night. Maybe I can hop on an earlier flight.

                  Also, I should really talk to their media people. Someone as sagey as me always deserves press access.

                  • Thursday badge pickup isn’t completely neccessary, just helpful. It’ll save you some time*, and it’s nice to get the physical schedule a day in advance. More chance to lose or forget your badge though.

                    *Last time I did Friday pickup (maybe 2 or 3 years ago?) the line was >30 minutes; wait times on Thursday randomly shift between ~15 minutes, ~5 minutes and no line whatsoever.

                  • By the way, the convention center’s right beside Chinatown. If you’d like I can give you some restaurant and bubble tea/pastry shop recommendations.

  5. Couldn’t have been as bad as last year’s Anime Fargo. Literally half of the audience in one of the watch rooms was cosplaying as Kirito.


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