Fansub Review: [Doki] Persona 4 (Episode 01)

B-Tier, Fansub Review — By on October 8, 2011 5:56 am

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Let’s get some Dokes up on display.

Release Format: HQ MKV (8-bit, 346 MB), LQ MKV (?-bit, 174 MB)

Japanesiness: Honorifics. Sensei/senpai used. Japanese name order.

 

Karaoke.

Opening. The opening song is in English. It’s k-timed which is nice, and the font from grey to yellow to white. I can see why they thought this’d be a good idea, but I’d really try to cap it at two colors. It’s distracting as-is.

Insert song. Lags my laptop, you assholes. But it’s okay otherwise. Again, the song is Engrish.

Ending. Engrish. Similar style to the OP, but fits a lot better with the ED.

Typesetting.

Not off to a good start.

Eh, I’ll allow it.


The line at the top only appears for a brief second. For the majority of the scene, we’re left looking at just Japanese. :/

Okay, with this, I think we’ve established that the typesetting isn’t that great. They’re even missing the Status Screen part. However, Persona 4 is a very western-styled series. There are tons of things in English in the anime itself. Hell, even the credits were translated to English in the Japanese release. So even with poor typesetting from a group, you’ll still be getting some English goodness.

Script.

Normally, I’d pass on by this line, but it just feels… off. And when lines are off, I feel obligated to share why I think that. In this case, I think the commas should be replaced by em-dashes. Why? When a native speaker says this sentence, there will be a large emphasis put on the “recently married” part – often with a different tone of voice. This should be reflected in the subtitles as well.

“Enka singer Hiiragi Misuzu-san and Inaba council secretary Namatame Tarou — recently married — have…”

Some may argue that this should be “Enka singer, Hiiragi Misuzu-san, and Inaba council secretary, Namatame Tarou, recently married, have…” but that looks like shit, and my suggestion would be just fine if we consider their professions to be taking the place of adjectives. Don’t be caught in this trap.

> Have + Having

All right, sometimes having these kinds of words together can’t be avoided. But in this case, it’s pretty easy to work around.

“It must be pretty hard, having to […]”

Nice period, bro.

In the interest of natural speak, let’s not repeat the “all” syllable twice in a row. It’s awkward. Just drop the “all” and the line reads just fine.

You should really rock “27-year-old” into one word to make it an adjective.

All right, now I’m not counting this against Doki. I more of just wanted to float it as an idea. I was always taught that incidents don’t happen; they occur. Anyone else taught that way? It appears both are valid, but I always go with the “occur” side of things.

Hey, I actually have about that! It’s a small world after all!

All night again last night. Right…

Wait, let’s spell this one out. “There is rumour is”. Brilliant, Doki. Brilliant.

That last one’s not a question. What are you doing, Doki?

 

We’ve established that Doki’s got some troubles. But how about the character’s speech, which really made the Persona games shine? Margaret and Nose-kun speak in very elaborate sentences. Douche teacher is well-portrayed as a douche with tons of idioms/relevant cultural phrases. Silly shit like “meat mouth” is used really well. I’m definitely feeling how Doki handled this part. Not sure if this is individual to Doki or the other groups handled it similarly, but I liked it.

BUT WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

What did y’all do to Teddie? You’re calling him Kuma and taking his bear jokes away. Why? Why?!!! ;___;

 

Watchability: Watchable, definitely.

Overall grade: B-

Sloppy work on the typesetting front, editing goofs, and an okay job on the karaoke combine with an otherwise excellent script. You’re not gonna hit perfection here, but if you can avoid the glaring errors, you’ll do just fine.

Grade:
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23 Comments

random says:

They subbed the insert song?

Fuck that. I don’t want terrible distracting karaoke during all the action scenes.

Insemination says:

Cross-eyed characters. Brilliant.

Jintan says:

I don’t know if it’s the editor’s fault or the translator’s, but you can tell that there are many missing words in every other line or so. No doubt the translation still makes sense, but you can really tell they are trying to sneak past the bare minimum.

Spinarakk says:

To me, the translations make perfect sense, and only an English Nazi will bother actively looking for the grammar mistakes and such.

However, I am against stupid puns as I find them unbearable to read, and having never played the game in English, I am perfectly fine with there being no bear puns whenever Kuma talks. It’s not going to change a thing now is it?

How many people actually vocally laugh at the puns like in Ika Musume anyway?

Dark_Sage says:

>only an English Nazi will bother actively looking for the grammar mistakes and such.

… Hi, welcome to the site.

The point is to achieve a consistent consumer experience between the people who watch the anime and the people who play the game. The vast majority of people watching the anime in America, or at least the most vocal ones, are going to be people who played the game. Teddie’s beary puntastic lines achieved the desired effect of making him a memorable character.

The puns don’t make people laugh. That’s not the point. They’re to differentiate the character in an interesting way. And they definitely did that for Teddie.

While I’m on that train of though, what Japanese animes actually can make you laugh? Their comedy shows are enjoyable, not laugh-out-loud hilarious. I think there’s maybe one anime a year that will ever manage to elicit a legitimate laugh from me. :/

Actar says:

I expect to get flamed by fans of the game for this, but…

I personally never played the Persona series of games, but if the puns are anything like the squddingly squidified Crunchyroll subs, I am inclined to side with Doki’s decision…

Of course, I’m not saying that I cannot understand the sentiments of fans of the original localized script. I’m just saying that being official or the original doesn’t mean that it’s the only way to go.

Actar says:

Actually, thinking about it, are puns the only way to go when translating ‘sentence enders’ or whatever you call them? I mean, these are not uncommon occurrences, from Ika Musume’s -de geso, Kuma’s -kuma to even Mipple and Mepple’s -mipo and -mepo.

Wouldn’t leaving it as it is at the end of a sentence be acceptable as well?

Dark_Sage says:

It’s acceptable, sure. I feel I gave the wrong impression. I didn’t meant to call it out as an error. I didn’t even think of it that way.

It’s an acceptable choice. I may not necessarily have done it that way myself, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Just thought I’d mention it because it may make a difference for some people.

Klownzie says:

”…Don’t tell me you are doing it here?!”

It’s a rhetorical question. They can use a question mark, exclamation mark or a period if they want to.

You said on Commie’s that all questions should have a question mark, yet you say you don’t want a question mark in this question?

Teddy is called Kuma in the Japanese version, and he doesn’t use bear puns in that one.
If they chose to call him Kuma, they have to avoid using bear puns.

Dark_Sage says:

Don’t tell me you’re doing it here != Don’t tell me… You’re doing it here?

The first is not a question.

And I’m not saying their choice of Kuma was wrong. Nor did I factor it in against them. But I felt it was something that needed to be addressed for those beary fervent fans of Teddie out there.

Klownzie says:

To avoid writing a lot, maybe just put a comma after ‘me’? Ellipsis don’t really fit in this situation.

And my mistake there. It seems like I was being too serious and missed your whining™ :P

Dark_Sage says:

No, you wouldn’t put a comma after “me”. If you want to force a pause, try to avoid commas because then you just get grammatically incorrect nonsense. I find ellipses to be perfect for use in forcing pauses.

SamRavster says:

“all night again last night” Usage time:

“Hey, I heard that Dark_Sage was up all night again last night reviewing subs for us”.

:D

Pawprint says:

If someone were to say to you, “I was up all night finishing my project,” would you immediately think, “Hmm, I wonder if he means he was up all night a couple of weeks ago.” NO! The lack of a specific timing phrase should make you assume “last night.” Is it grammatically incorrect? No. Is it redundant? Yes.

Pawprint says:

By the way, I realize you were having fun with that; you just gave me a perfect place to make a comment I was going to make anyway….

(By the way, at the end of my last post, the “it” I’m referring to is the original subbed line. Sorry for dangling that pronoun.)

Pawprint says:

By the way, sorry for using “by the way” too much. I was up all night last night and can’t type very well right now at this time.

Dys says:

I’m fine with this.

Scripts will have 2 versions (karaoke and no karaoke) next week for people with computers crappier than my 8 year old Pentium 4. That would be the PC I subbed this on.

As for the TS mistakes. “Oops.”

Progeusz says:

Untranslated status screen… it hurts. Doki, forever B-Tier.
Who else subs this show? Commie? Oh geez. Better than Doki, I guess.

Deiopea says:

“-that Midnight Television thing that everyone’s been talking about?”

shouldn’t it be: “everyone has been talking about?”
an apostrophe after the pronoun is only used for showing possession.

Dark_Sage says:

Fair assumption, but you’re wrong.

http://esl.about.com/od/grammarintermediate/a/contractions.htm

‘s can also mean has.

Deiopea says:

I know but for some indefinite pronouns you cannot use an aspostophe plus -s (contraction) to form an auxiliary verb, so “everyone’s” would be possesive. (and not a contraction)

Dark_Sage says:

I’m not sure I know of this rule. Could you perhaps link me to it? Either way, it’s still legit as far as fansubs go. We try to reflect natural, human speak in subs and nobody is going to use the sentence

“Everyone has been talking about it.”

when they could use

“Everyone’s been talking about it.”

I could go into that further if you’re not convinced. It’s a very important principle in fansubbing.

uSalt2 says:

http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000137.htm

“Sometimes to show pronunciation in dialogue, the word is contracted to show missing letters. Avoid this in formal writing except in quotations, even when the contraction is a more accurate representation. ”

“We try to reflect natural, human speak in subs. . . .”

Since fansub scripts are not formal writing, using apostrophes to indicate missing letters, such as “He’s been on drugs,” would be all right.

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