Fansub Review: [WhyNot] Tasogare Otome x Amnesia (Episode 04)

C-Tier, Fansub Review — By on May 26, 2012 3:43 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Sorry for the delay. Back to the site!

Release format: MKV (352 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Group website: http://whynotsubs.com/

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/tacsxpXd

8thsin’s translation critique: http://8ths.in/spring-2012-fansub-comparison-reviews#Tasogare

Ji-hi’s screenshot comparisons: N/A

 

Table of Contents

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Timing

Results

Visual Quality

Karaoke.

Opening. Was there a reason for choosing a different color from the credits for the text, or was it just sheer incompetence? I know which one my bet’s on.

Ending. Wow. Another white text ending from WhyNot. Stretching hard to reach the bare minimum, aren’t ya?

 

Typesetting.

I love how most groups fail to realize that covering up the Japanese text and placing English over it would make for a better viewer experience. Instead, we get some hardly readable English text shoved above the kanji.

Out with the spirits, in with the lazy typesetting. I dunno, maybe put a background behind that shit so it at least resembles the wards.

The text starts white and then breaks up. I’m not really sure why they did that though, since the Japanese text didn’t change from solid to broken — it was constantly cracked.

Well, that’s pretty shitty typesetting.

The typesetting wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. I do like that they translated the most important signs in the show, even if they didn’t do an amazing job with them.

 

Other.

No line differentiation?

Script Quality

Karaoke.

“try hugging”? Try English instead.

“Burn, I tell myself. Hugging isn’t a sin, is it?” This fits in with the “Being passionate isn’t a sin, is it?” line you have later on.

long faded -> long-faded. Not a big problem, though.

Overall, the OP and ED made sense. I do like competent translations.

 

Main Script.

I’m just going to use Hadena’s translation here, because this makes no fucking sense.

“You have a surprisingly nice body.”

Thanks, Hadena, for having someone in your group who can actually translate.

“Is what?” {As in, “Is what all right with me?”}

“You were crying by yourself before. Aren’t you easily scared?”

Your subs are actually shit.

“But what exactly are we supposed to do at this training camp?”

This isn’t puppy training, guys.

“It’s fine. Your false sympathy is too cruel! I’ll be back later!”

If you want to know why I didn’t post anything for a week, it’s because this group’s terrible editing was haunting me. I consider myself an editor, but so many fuck-ups like this tarnish the great, noble editing profession. It brings a subber down. :(

All right, I’m lying. But it’s plausible, isn’t it?

My eyes.

“I’m surprised. I didn’t think you were the type to enjoy training camps.”

Fi
ve thats in three lines is pretty sloppy English.  This is more poor writing than an actual error. I don’t want to imply anything, but poor writing is the leading cause of Dark_Sage-related arson.

“Until now, all I could do was run away.”

I have no clue what they were thinking of when they added in “alone” there.

This is fucking messy.

“You didn’t say anything even though I wore a swimsuit.”

Except Yuuko specifically asked Teiichi to touch her (well, the line would be fucked up even if they were going to touch each other, but let’s ignore that for now).

She’s supposed to be passively accepting his touch here. The line should therefore be

“You haven’t touched me in a while.”

For the non-native English speakers on the site (hey, editors!), this isn’t supposed to be read as just a statement. Rather, it’s a passive-aggressive polite way of saying “Hey pretty boy, maybe we should fuck.”

Often, people will say something like “Hey, I haven’t had ice cream in a while.” which means “I want some ice cream.” They don’t come out and say it directly because that could be considered rude. Rather, it’s a strong suggestion for whoever’s listening that they should go out and get some fucking ice cream. Go culture!

What do you think “trumps” is? “War” without the variability? Spend five seconds on Google and you’ll have your answer for what “trumps” is. Turns out, it’s the generic word in Japan for “cards” (as in the traditional 52-card deck of cards). So what she’s really saying here is

“Let’s play cards. Cards.”

“Nope. If I knocked on the door, they would open it, thinking that someone was there.”

The someone’s reads as “someone is”. The story that she’s telling is set in the past, so mixing past and present tense does not fucking work.

This is some stupid tense switching up in here.

“After the sun sets, it gets shockingly cold.”

Dislike.

“I won’t become like Yuuko just by thinking about it.”

“Who would do this?!”

Fucking mongoloids don’t know what a question mark is.

“Believing in something without noticing it is what gives a curse its power.”

Yes, the it is important.

“It’s great isn’t it?” -> “It was sure great.”

Both lines are describing the same scenario, but…

“It’s great isn’t it?” is present tense.

“Wasn’t it fun?” is past tense.

I know it’s hard to teach a retard new things, but perhaps someone should force your editor to watch Sesame Street Teaches Tenses. Maybe he’ll get it then.

 

Timing Review

Incoming. When “Timing Critique” is added as a category, you’ll know this p
art is done.

Results.

Watchability: Watchable.

Timing Grade:

Visual grade: B-

Script grade: D

Overall grade (timing results not factored in): C-

Well, that was a bad release.

 

Oh, and the real reason why it took me a week to get back on the reviews is this song. It’s super catchy. Why review when I can rock out to this?

Grade:
Show:
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30 Comments

lygerzero0zero says:

I imagine they did not cover up the Japanese for the “Night Duty Log” because the box is not a solid color; it’s got a gradient to it, caused by the lighting. It’s possible to fake the shading, but it’s a pain in the ass. It might have been a better idea to put the typeset outside and above the box.

FalseDawn says:

Hold up – did that girl flounce away by saying “I’ll be back later!”? Sounds positively cheery compared to the screenshot. More fail editing there?

Dark_Sage says:

I just chalked it up to more shitty Japanese “comedy”. Maybe “I’m leaving!” would suit her better here.

beta says:

>“You were crying by yourself before. Aren’t you easily scared?”

Wouldn’t it be ‘Are you easily scared?’ since he’s calling her out on it? The ‘actually’ seems like it would technically fit, but makes it a longer way of saying it.

Marow says:

Sorry for a stupid question, but is it hard to, you know, check the quality when subbing? Is it because it’s so stressful to sub that errors like these exist?

kyonyUU says:

It’s not hard to do, but just hard get motivated enough to do it.

Nevreen says:

Quality checker as a position has gradually vanished from the fansubbing world in the past couple years in favor of releasing stuff faster. There are groups that still QC stuff, but I’d say it’s about an even 50/50 split between those that do and don’t.

Although the main reason is shitty “editors” that can’t English properly.

Marow says:

I’d say take one day extra and make it delicious instead of poor.

Xythar says:

In this case they can’t really do that because they’re trying to beat Crunchyroll, who come out 12 hours later. Same as UTW.

Marow says:

All for the e-glory, eh?

Dark_Sage says:

Something like that. Speedsubbing is really fun, so that factors into it too.

Rekyu says:

Hahaha… I’m so hit or miss.

Xythar says:

I wouldn’t hold the translator responsible for poor editing, especially in a speedsub. There are few people who can translate accurately and edit well at the same time, and they’re mostly professionals (who usually have more than a few hours to work on the script, too). Having a good team around the translator is as important as the translator themselves.

ar says:

Your vhost is terrible, when are you going to change it?

Drake says:

Lol. That song has been stuck in my head for a while, and now you give me a version song hella oddly. Thnx. lols

Juan says:

Review Very Strongs I Thank

anon_T/L-er says:

You’re awesome, Dark_Sage, for posting the ludicrously catchy version of “Call Me Maybe.”

Dark_Sage says:

No problem. Here’s a playlist of the guy’s stuff if you find yourself with some extra time. Headphones suggested.

anon_T/L-er says:

Thanks a bunch. Oh boy…my Beats headphones are actually going to come in handy.

Kyhz says:

>Beats
7/10, I replied and am slightly disgruntled.

Bananapie says:

I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I don’t understand why you corrected a sentence into: “If I knocked, they would open, thinking that someone was there.””

In my opinion “they would open” and “thinking that someone was there” are both subordinate clauses. I’m no expert in English or anything, but my mind is telling me that what the way you corrected the aforementioned sentence doesn’t make any sense.

The sentence structure above, from what I see, is X, subordinate clause, Y. Where X and Y are main clauses and thus the removal of the subordinate clause allows for X to flow into Y while maintaining perfect grammatical sense. In this case the removal of “they would open” would cause the sentence to make no sense.

I propose: “They would open, if I knocked, thinking that someone was there” Or “If I knocked, they would open the door thinking that someone was there”

Bananapie says:

Sorry let me edit my first proposal a bit: “They would open the door, if I knocked, thinking that someone is there”

Bananapie says:

“They would open the door, if I knocked, thinking that someone was there”

FINALLY. A blunder to the max! xD

Yours sincerely,
an idiot who can’t even propose a sentence correctly with the aforementioned sentence being a possibily stupid proposal

Dark_Sage says:

Have some respect for yourself. Your three replies read like you’re afraid I’m going to hit you if I don’t like what you say. Realize that if you constantly act like a simpering dog, people are going to treat you like one both on the internet and off it.

Bananapie says:

Thanks for the advice. =D

Nevreen says:

In every sentence, the main action (clause) is “they would open”. It doesn’t matter how you order your clauses; the main clause will always be “they would open”. You said it yourself: if you remove that clause from the sentence, the sentence no longer has any meaning.

So DS’s corrected line is grammatically correct and sounds better than any of your suggestions (no offense). One of the reasons DS’s line sounds more natural is probably because it has the proper action-reaction order where Yuuko knocks -> someone opens the door in response to the knocking -> explanation as to why they opened the door.

Also, you should drop the first comma in this sentence: “They would open if I knocked, thinking that someone was there.”

Bananapie says:

Lets just ignore my first suggestion since I realised that it does look odd after all. xD.

Dark_Sage says:

My original line was all right, but it could have been better, so I fixed it up a bit. It was a fair criticism to say something was off.

Crevice says:

“It’s great isn’t it?” -> “It was sure great.”
Yeah, it was sure great.

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