[Norikumi/Aero/Aoi] Mouryou no Hako – 01 (BD), 05 & 10 (TV)

Fansub Review, Subtitle Comparison — By on August 22, 2013 8:33 pm

This post was written by Calyrica. She is not Dark_Sage.


Watch this show, just not with these subs. Oops, you don’t have a choice!

This review was great fun to write, mostly because I love this show so very much. It’s an intense ride, but you have to be willing to put the effort into watching and comprehending it. There’s a lot of religion and culture in here that’s long been outdated, as the anime takes place in the 1950s. There’s also the CLAMPness of the characters that can be a bit offputting. But like I said, it’s greatly worth it.

Just not with these subs.

I want to throw this out here before you start to scroll down – I want to sub this show properly. I know I say stuff like that a lot, but I really mean it this time. I would also like to have it translated from scratch, since these subs are all terrible and mostly hardsubbed, anyway.

And another note before you scroll down. There are spoilers in this review. This is the primary reason why I prefer to review the same episode for each group. However, I didn’t have a choice for this show.

Let’s take a trip down memory lane so that you all understand why.

Fall of 2008, this show aired. Aero slowly picked it up, but eventually ended up dropping the show after releasing episode nine.

Time went by and people raged about how the show wasn’t completed. Late 2009, Aoi-Anime finally released the last four episodes, but did not go back and resub the rest for consistency. The show was completed around New Years 2010, and I watched it that January.

Fast forward another year. In 2011, Norikumi announced that they were interested in doing the Blu-Rays. They released four episodes, and then vanished. According to MAL, it’s the only thing they’ve released. To make it worse, their website no longer exists, so no one can bug them about it.

So what does that mean?

  • Norikumi subbed episodes 1-4
  • Aero subbed episodes 1-9
  • Aoi-Anime subbed episodes 10-13

So now it makes sense why my review is going to be episodes 1, 5, and 10.

Also, all of the timing in all of these releases are strobo-timing. There is never any linking of subs unless people are cutting each other off. You’d think this would mean no scene bleeds, but you’re not that lucky.

Norikumi – Ep 01 (BD)

Filesize: 977mb (Yes, this is 720p.)
English: American, honorifics

Karaoke

Fucking ordered chapters? Seriously? This release is big enough, and now you tell me it doesn’t even include the OP and ED?

Typesetting

shot0003

This would be much easier to read horizontally.

shot0004

As would this.

shot0005

And as long as this would be consistent, I don’t care.

shot0032

Again, horizontal would make this so much easier.

Script

shot0001

Comma comes before the conjunction, not after. First error is elementary school level. This does not bode well for the following 35 screenshots in this group’s section.

shot0002

I believe you mean, “didn’t you?”

shot0006

All of it I loved -> I loved all of it.

shot0007

Comma after “nowadays”. However, the word seems a bit informal for the rest of the vocabulary in the sentence.

shot0008

This is excessively worried.

you people -> you
it is -> it’s
there is -> there’s

etc.

shot0009

This is how translation notes were handled. I was not disappointed.

shot0010

This is not how you ellipses.

shot0011

Again, I’m not fond of this “you people” thing.

Some people might get pissed that the French word isn’t TL noted, but it’s just an example of a word, so the meaning isn’t important.

shot0012

More translation notes!

shot0013

There’s really no need for all the wordiness in this release in general.

“Hey, your house is that one at the top of the mountain, right?”

shot0014

Comma after “After that”.

shot0015

It’s not like her face can become more or less mature. I believe you want to talk about her expression and the way she handles herself.

Kanako would enter the cafe with a mature expression on her face.
Kanako would enter the cafe giving off an aura of maturity.
Kanako would enter the cafe appearing as if she were a mature lady.

You get the idea.

shot0016

More TL notes. This one, though, I think is unnecessary. You could have translated this from the start or even left it alone. It wouldn’t have mattered. The novel is explained in depth over the next few minutes.

shot0017

This “What… for?” structure really gets on my nerves. Do you know what could replace it? That’s right; a simply “Why?”

Why are you standing around?

shot0018

Poor phrasing.

Sasagawa-san will be here soon, and if you just stand there, you’ll be in the way.

shot0019

Comma after “today”.

shot0020

Comma before a conjunction, not after.

shot0021

of –> from

shot0023

Comma after “that”.

shot0024

Speech without subs.

shot0025

Comma before “and” since both clauses have two different subjects.

shot0026

Comma after “out”. However, I think this is too weak of a line for what she’s saying.

But if the school finds out, it’ll be terrible!

shot0027

This is the first we hear about “mouryou” in this anime. Yoriko’s mother is going all nuts and is saying something along the lines of “This entire thing feels like it’s been caused by…” and then this line appears.

First, you don’t start this with a capital letter since it’s a continuation of the previous sentence.

Second, please tell us what the fuck a mouryou is, kthx. We don’t get the big detailed discussion until over halfway through the series.

shot0028

You don’t need both “from that day on” and “again”. One implies the other.

shot0029

Comma after the first “far”.

shot0030

The reflection is not in the lake. They wouldn’t be able to see it if it were! It’s on the lake.

shot0031

Wow, the beginning of this line is clunky. “On summer’s first Friday night”

shot0033

Comma splice

 

Aero – Ep 05 (TV)

Filesize: 201mb
English: British, honorifics

Karaoke

shot0003

OP. Terrible fonts and colors for a terrible song. By the way, the song is called “Deep Blue”. So… orange? Cool!

shot0004

This is where things really get funny. They make their lines so long that they can’t even fit it all on the screen! Who was the QC on this?

shot0035

ED. Same fonts. Again, wtf with the colors?

Typesetting

shot0002

Love the font choice, but the positioning is odd. I definitely prefer horizontally reading this, though.

shot0005

Same comment as previous, although I do need to note that two hyphens does not an em dash make.

shot0007

This is interesting. I would have put the sign typesetting on the bottom and \an8 the actual subs. This is just weird.

shot0009

This is bordering on oldsubs, so no mocha-ing possible. Still could have styled this.

shot0012

And why the decision for all-caps here?

shot0013

I do think that the circled stuff is at least important.

shot0018

So now you put the sign at the bottom instead of the top? Consistency, please!

shot0019

I can’t remember, but if this was a static sign, there’s no reason to not typeset it.

shot0027

This looks important.

Script

shot0001

No comma necessary.

shot0006

The “yet” isn’t necessary.

shot0008

This is fucking awkward.

However, due to the box being switched, all the experiment accomplished was sowing seeds of discord amongst the researchers.

shot0010

She did actually say “Sensei”, so this technically isn’t wrong. It’s just that we usually think of “sensei” as a person’s teacher. However, he’s not her teacher. So this line is misleading.

shot0011

“What” is a question word, so I expect to see a question mark in here.

shot0015

Usually, numbers one through ten and multiples of ten are spelled out.

shot0016

“he often went against him” shows major appositive issues. Who is “he”, and who is “him”? Based on what people generally understand, “he” would be the grandfather, and “him”, the grandson. However, if you finish reading the sentence, it’s really the other way around.

shot0017

No comma necessary.

shot0020

Most groups nowadays would split this into a minimum of three lines seeing as there are distinct pauses between each question. But this is common between all three groups.

shot0021

This is horrible.

Atsuko-san…? Don’t tell me that even after everything that happened between you two, you’re still meeting with her?

shot0022

He’s that fearsome? -> Is he really that frightening?

shot0023

The fuck is a “cloud ear mushroom”?

shot0024

Comma aside, I’m not 100% sure this TL note is needed, or at least not in this detail. I learned who Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was through Touhou, actually.

shot0025

No good at what? Investigating exorcists or being sneaky? Be clear or separate this to different lines.

shot0026

-_-

Oh, if that’s what you mean, I know someone who’d do the job.

shot0028

Comma after “you”.

shot0029

This is a fucking question, you idiots.

shot0030

What’s a Jizou statue? Because I’m pretty sure Kyougokudou is a person.

shot0031

The one we met just now -> The person whom we just met.

shot0032

In the first place, the head editor… Senoushi, is it?

Senoushi is the head editor as of this moment. No past tense about it!

shot0033

I still know a few more things about Toriguchi-kun.

shot0034

Unless he was literally inside the shrine’s four walls, I think you mean “at” instead of “in”.

 

Aoi-Anime

Filesize: 207mb (mp4)
English: American, honorifics

Karaoke

shot0004

Jesus Christ. Do you know what a space bar is?

Okay. So Japanese is actually written in a mixture of kanji, hiragana, and katakana. There are no spaces, and only rarely is there punctuation. However, that doesn’t really work for us Westerners when we try to romanize it and learn it, so we add spaces. Where we add spaces is pretty much arbitrary, but we’ve kind of settled on a standard. This does not follow that standard.

gomen ne, dame datta, waratterunda darou na

(Some groups would also space “watteru nda”.)

shot0041

Oddly enough, the ED doesn’t have this issue. The positioning leaves much to be desired, though.

Typesetting

shot0001

Wow, a font that doesn’t fit combined with borders that aren’t supposed to be there and shitty positioning!

shot0002

As if the filename didn’t tell you.

shot0005

You don’t fucking comma this.

shot0006

As if the text style and positioning wasn’t bad enough…

shot0007

It’s not even timed properly?

Did I mention these are hardsubbed?

shot0012

Not really necessary, but not typeset.

shot0015

This, however, is necessary. There was an earlier episode where they showed these large calligraphy stills, and Aero didn’t typeset them, either. They are very important.

shot0016

Not typset.

shot0022

Again, this is very important.

shot0038

Not typeset.

shot0039

Again with the fucking comma…

Script

shot0008

What’s an “onmoyouji”? And why are we all of a sudden talking about “oni” in a show about “mouryou”?

(Second question is answered later on, but since Aero translated “oni” to “demon”, this is super confusing.)

shot0009

Do, you know how to comma?

shot0010

For me to personally, critique your subs, is extremely frustrating.

shot0011

This may missing a word.

shot0013

He’s listing two characters in the story. Usually, we’d be like “There’s character A, who is like this, and character B, who is like this.” But no. Each character gets his own sentence, this one beginning with “and”. Also, wtf is an ascetic?

shot0014

I believe the successor is a person. So which -> who.

shot0017

No fucking comma after a conjunction. How many times must I repeat myself?

shot0018

This is a pun on him being called “Kameyama”, so it’s understandable that the subs have him say “Kame…?” What’s not all right is how the TL note is treated. No “TL note” or even “Note”. Just what the note is. To make it worse, they’re both strobotimed identically. Hope you read fast!

shot0019

He’s using leader to directly address the shrine dude, so capitalize that shit.

shot0020

Onbako-sama is the name of the box. So you have two choices:

All of the mouryou are held in Onbako-sama!
All of the mouryou are held in that box!

shot0021

What does this TL note even refer to? “Demon’s gate”?

shot0023

What’s a “housoushi”?

shot0024

I’m so glad this TL note is up for the same amount of time as this four word sentence!

And why the fuck is the TL note ended with !”. No period necessary.

shot0025

Wait, wait. Didn’t you just TL note it as the “Demon’s gate”? So what’s this ushitora business all of a sudden? I’ve never seen that word before!

shot0026

More wonderful TL notes. -_-

shot0027

Wait, so this TL note says it’s the same exact thing as the one before. This could be handled much better.

Ufou: Henbei’s traditional Chinese name.

shot0028

These subs, originally came from morons.

shot0029

Again, since Japanese is not written in roman letters, I can’t really say this is “wrong”. However, it is generally expected that gods and goddesses are written with hyphens when deemed necessary: Mitsu-ha-no-me.

And then later, she’s called Mitsu-ha-no-me-no-kami.

Aero dealt with this using the hyphens, by the way.

shot0030

Dear lord this anime is confusing. And these subs don’t help?

Regardless of whether or not “northerly” is even used properly here, it doesn’t make sense. “Move from” implies changing position, where “northerly” implies a direction. He’s not saying “make this box face this way”. He’s telling phony shrine dude to place the box at the northernmost edge of the room.

shot0031

Appositive issue. Each use of “they” is referring to something different.

It’s also been said that they fear oak and tigers.

shot0032

Notice something different about this line? That’s right! They changed the size of the font so that it would all fit on two lines.

Because, you know, splitting it is too much effort.

shot0033

-_-

shot0034

If you’re gonna put a comma after “mouryou”, but one after “read” as well. Otherwise, nix on that comma.

shot0035

I know, that line is bad, isn’t it?

shot0036

We’ve gone over this.

If please is at the beginning of a sentence, no comma after it.
If please is at the end of a sentence, put a comma before it.

shot0037

I see this happen in subs all of the time, and it’s because of Japanese word order.

“Is it all right to do this without Officer Ooshima’s permission?”

Just because the question word, “ka”, comes in the middle of the Japanese sentence does not mean that you have to put the question mark there as well.

shot0040

 

I believe that you don’t hyphenate this.

 

 

tl;dr: Someone please encode and translate this for me. I promise that I’ll do the rest.

Grade:
Show:
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17 Comments

danuchiha99 says:

When should we be seeing the next review and what will the next review be?

Calyrica says:

If this is addressed to me, I do them sporadically as I feel like it. I honestly can’t answer that. I just started a new full-time job, too, so things are all up in the air all around.

Solaristics says:

I think I got cancer after looking at these subs.

Noone says:

No one cared about this show, sadly.
Btw irc://irc.rizon.net/norikumi, bug them :D

fnord says:

I liked this show a great deal, and the rather mediocre subtitles have long irked me. Vale and I talked about putting out a BD release from the ground up, but I have doubts it will materialize.

Calyrica says:

Well, if you decide to, I’ll definitely help out in any way that I can.

stushi says:

I’ve been planning to watch this show for a long time, so I guess I could wait longer.

mianghuei says:

Calyrica, who should I go with for B Gata H Kei?

Calyrica says:

I can’t do reviews of it since I was the QC for Doki’s BD release.

pengu says:

I love ordered chapters.

Come at me sis.

Kirino says:

The font for the first four eps (BD) is sheer eyecancer, and too smal as well.
1 GB for 720p? lolwtf?
Other group’s fonts are a bit better (although I’m no friend of that sickly yellow).
If I look at OP and ED… ewww. Better add “complete restyling of everything” to the list.

Kamica says:

Calyrica, would you please review the subs for the recent Minami-Ke OVA?

v2 torrent is here:
http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=466499

Pharmboy says:

Calyrica, thanks for this review.

Unfortunately the bad impression I had even with Norikumi (I watched the first 2 episodes when they were released) was right. I think I will wait, and hope someone will really fansub it again…

Beatslars says:

I’ve been working on fixing up scripts, and re-timing with Yousei’s Blu-Ray v2 release. I’ve finished episodes 1-12. Info for these can be found on the nyaa site.

http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=464980

and for Episodes 11 and 12 can be found respectively:

http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=468195 – Episode 11

http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=469084 – Episode 12
—-

I am working on Episode 13 now. I can’t believe no one has ever done the BD’s on this series yet.

Beatslars says:

COMPLETE SERIES in 1080p Mouryou no Hako English scripts only. Enjoy!

http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=469103

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