Best of Spring 2014

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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I don’t even need to finish this season to know what the fan favorites are gonna be.

Best Breasts on a Female

[Kaitou]_Captain_Earth_-_01_[720p][10bit][00C44BC9].mkv_snapshot_05.28_[2014.04.16_18.32.15]
Pink-chan, Captain Earth. Word gets around. I’m sure she does too.

Cheapest Weapon for Cosplay

Water Pistol
Water Pistol, Captain Earth.

 

Cutest Super-Gay Couple

[Kaitou]_Captain_Earth_-_01_[720p][10bit][00C44BC9].mkv_snapshot_11.42_[2014.04.16_18.17.28]
These two, Captain Earth.
[Kaitou]_Captain_Earth_-_01_[720p][10bit][00C44BC9].mkv_snapshot_11.46_[2014.04.16_18.17.39] [Kaitou]_Captain_Earth_-_01_[720p][10bit][00C44BC9].mkv_snapshot_11.49_[2014.04.16_18.18.04] [Kaitou]_Captain_Earth_-_01_[720p][10bit][00C44BC9].mkv_snapshot_11.52_[2014.04.16_18.18.10]

This was so close to being a metaphor for gay sex. So close.

 

Least Interesting Segment in an Anime Series

Speeches.
This speech, Captain Earth. Even though it was only two sentences long, it was still a speech, which makes it terrible.

 

Least Accessible Show to Deaf and/or Blind People

Captain Earth
Captain Earth.

 

Best Naruto Spinoff

Again, Captain Earth.
Again, Captain Earth.

 

Watch every one of my predictions come true once the season ends. Ain’t saying to call your bookie, but call your bookie.

37 thoughts on “Best of Spring 2014”

  1. Oh I’ve seen BONES do this shit time and time again. Give me a boner and get me all excited with the first three or four episodes of a new mecha fucking BONES!!!-awesome series, then shit all over the story and end it like any other bad shounen does, only here they don’t explain wtf was going on through the last two episodes and suddenly everyone is smiling even though everything went to hell and BOOM CREDITS.

    By looking at dem screencaps, I can see this is a cross between AO and Star Driver, both of which had legendary horrible endings. I will not honor BONES by downloading my free illegal fansubs of their show every week, but rather wait and see how it all ends. Fuck you BONES, fuck you.

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  2. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this post makes me think you’ve only seen a single show this season. I wonder what it could be? Oh, yeah, I’ve got it. It’s Dai Shogun.

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  3. To be fair, whoever keeps watching BONES shows deserves what they get. It’s like expecting KyoAni not to do character assassination for the sake of moe moe, or like expecting Sunrise not to try to sell you toys. Or like expecting Deen to make a show without LGBT stuff.

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          • Ice hockey?

            Cricket? [Whoops. Kyojin no Hoshi has a special “Cricket Version” for India. Guess that counts.]

            Kayaking? Whitewater rafting? Diving (or free diving, for that matter)? Water polo?

            Polo?

            Rodeo?

            Frisbee-based sports?

            Racquetball?

            Or some Japanese sports: Takagari (best sport ever)? Gateball (has a yonkoma, but no anime)? Bo-taoshi? Pan kui kyousou?

            Yachting?

            Competitive eating?

            XARM?

            There are worlds and worlds of sports out there anime hasn’t touched!

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              • Nah. By that logic, Utena is a fencing anime. We need something with a sports anime structure here—if they aren’t spending entire episodes discussing exactly how to train your stomach and using obscure medical terminology to do it, it just ain’t good enough!

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              • Hunter x Hunter had people who specialized in eating. And then there’s Toriko, which took HxH to retarded levels of retardation.

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                • All set in fantasy worlds, sadly. (Well, perhaps every sports anime is really fantasy anyway.)

                  But God, oh God, I want a whole anime just about Menchi (the version voiced by Hibino Akari, of course). It doesn’t need to be good or anything. I just want a chance to watch her cookin’ and huntin’ and buyin’ rubber bands by the pallet-full and snoozin’ on Buhara’s bewitchingly bulgy belly…

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            • Im waiting for a martial arts manga/anime that is actually about martial arts and not a stupid shojo/harem/supernatural nonsense manga with martial arts as an excuse to beat the shit out of people. I am aware of a “slightly” successful manga called Hajime no Ippo but that’s american boxing => different

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              • Have you ever seen the manga called Holyland? Street-fighting with an emphasis on how martial arts is different in sports and real fighting.

                There’s also Karate Shoukoushi Kohinata Minoru, which, although I didn’t like it much personally, has over 250 chapters and running, and focuses on martial arts as a high school sport (so there’s at least a decent chance it’ll get an anime).

                Then there’s one about girls doing mixed martial arts called Teppuu, but it runs in a bimonthly magazine so updates are slow. There’s some social commentary but mostly it’s them beating the shit out of each other.

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            • You forgot arm wrestling, an anime about a delinquent who skips school to be the #1 arm wrestler in the nation and a teacher takes him under his wings and helps him pass high school and he wins the title in the end and all is well.

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  4. I’d rather much Bones would go back to doing something similar to Darker than Black S1 and FMA brotherhood…maybe GoSick too. This is really banal stuff.

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