Spring 2017 to Date, Part II

Anime Opinions, Article, Spring 2017 — By on April 7, 2017 8:51 pm

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Watch Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records. You owe it to yourself.

Last time on “Dark_Sage Has Opinions”, Episode 112: Spring 2017 – Part 1:

Spoiler:

Great

  • Shingeki no Kyojin S2 (I didn’t watch it)

 

Good

  • N/A

 

Okay

  • Alice to Zouroku
  • Sekai no Yami Zukan

 

Meh

 

Shit

  • High School Star Musical S2
  • Granblue Fantasy
  • Gin no Guardian
  • Rick and Morty S3

 

 

Boruto – NEXTGEN NARUTO

Eye scars are incredicool

Let’s be straight, Boruto episode 1 is legitimately terrible. The blood-pounding intro of Boruto busting out badass shit, fighting some arm-scarred emo kid, is cool for sure. But it only serves as a desperate plea by the animators that you should keep watching no matter how shit & dull it gets, which you absolutely know it will.

omfg boruto = missing-nin tho?!

Then you get into the bulk of the episode, which acts as little but a filler, focusing on some throwaway nerd that learns how to stick up for himself after Boruto makes all the bullies like him with the power of heart. Cuz, y’know, a real resolution wouldn’t be elementary schooler-friendly. Throw in a bunch of characters from the OP into the last minute, and you have the episode wrapped up, significantly under the budget of a 20-page flipbook.

Do I give a shit? Fuck no. As long as this show can drip an average of 30 secs of pure hype into my veins per episode I’ll tolerate however boring, low-effort and generally mind-rotting it gets.

Preach!

The Crunchyroll encode is so painful it gives me a headache though. Shit went through the washer ten too many times. Almost starting to miss the existence of fansubs…

 

 

Try 2: Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni…

Still can’t deal with the subs. Re-dropped.

 

 

Warau Salesman NEW

Black Salesman’s show description reads as some dude going around helping people out and teaching the viewer important morals. But it turns out, show’s really just about some dude who goes around ruining people’s lives. Which is better, but somehow still kinda boring.

Really gets the noggin joggin’

Take episode 1’s second story: some chick’s addicted to shopping, so BS-kun gives her a credit card that she can use for whatever, but whatever she buys will be repossessed the next day. So she buys a bunch of clothes and they get taken away, which makes her sad.

Then she figures if she gets something that can’t get repossessed with the card, she’ll be gucci, so she gets a massage and a haircut. But she wakes up the next morning to find herself an old woman cuz ~wowzers~ her youth got repossessed instead. What a twist!

Never trust a guy who wears lipstick.

The other story is even dumber. Some loser salaryman visits a cabaret in the daytime and racks up a $5k bill and comes back to work drunk out of his mind. Which is bad? End story?

She’s cute, but for 5k I’d better be getting a five-course finish.

If those stories sounded stupid that’s cuz they are. Don’t bother here.

 

 

Frame Arms Girl

With a tasteless ass shot in its first frame, I was pretty convinced Frame Arms Girl was gonna be my anime of the season. Then I watched a couple seconds in and realized this show was actually just the spiritual successor to Busou Shinki, which was fucking terrible. ;_;

And I’m looking down your shirt.

Credit where credit’s due, Frame Arms Girl managed to negate the creepiness of a man playing with action figures of overly sexualized little girls, by turning the man into a cute, albeit entirely stupid, girl whose primary concern is shitting all over the concept of the show.

Still, knowing your show is terrible doesn’t make it any less so. Or… wait, it does? Yeah, this is like a 5-6/10, whereas Busou was like a 2. Good job, Japan. Turn your next one into a parody and you’ll be at a 7. I’d say make it funny and you could score even higher, but let’s be realistic here.

 

 

Boku no Hero Academia S2

Season 2 of the most uninspired, heartless, generic shounen since Superman has arrived to the fanfare of the most inglorious retards the anime scene has ever unhappily harbored. And its debut episode is almost entirely a recap. Can’t say I blame them for serving shit when they know who’s gonna eat it.

All you need to know about this show to hate it is to look at the kind of people that like it. Tumblr trash that got kicked out of their ghetto:

MAL cancer:

And know-nothing morons whose deaths would improve the gene pool to the point that allowing their lives to go on is tantamount to intellectual genocide of the human race:

I hate everything about this show with every fiber of my being, and everything that allowed it to air in place of literally anything fucking else. Though I’m kinda hype that we’re gonna get Togo on-screen this season. She’s perfect.

I just wanna bathe in her mouth.

 

 

Tsuki ga Kirei

If I hadn’t jerry-rigged my heart with enough caffeine to keep it pounding, I would’ve fallen asleep.

Being pretty and popular and rich sure is tough. Glad I can relate to these characters’ suffering. (Which I totes can.)

In the last ten minutes of the episode, after nothing of note happened, I got caught up on my phone and forgot I even had this tepid bullshit still brewing in the background. With negative incentive to go back and figure out what I missed, we’ll just call the episode complete, and the series dropped.

Don’t waste your time here, re-read some of my old articles if you’re bored enough to even consider it. My genius is timeless after all. <3

 

 

Sekaisuru Kado

Shindo Kojiro is a super-smart awesome person who is super-smart and awesome. You’ll find this out because the show will tell you every fucking minute.

Case in point, in 00, Kojiro almost single-handedly creates supermetal, which has a market valuation of billions of yenbux! Wow! And who knows how many other cool things he’ll invent throughout the series?

With this, the show sets itself up for another average pseudo-intellectual episodic trip through Japanese mediocrity. …Well, until the ending.

This is as spoiler as I’ll let it get.

Unfortunately 00 (which is like a 7/10) is an essential precursor to 01, which is a 9/10. Also unfortunately, this is the kinda show where I really don’t want to spoiler shit, cuz it’s worth going into blind.

With that, I recommend you watch Sekaisuru Kado 00 and 01, and then gauge whether you want to continue or not. This kind of show is not for everyone (shit’s probably the definition of slow-cooked seinen), but you owe it to yourself to see if it is.

Hard to resist cute scientist girls, right?

 

 

Love Kome – We Love Rice

Premise: In the future, nobody will want to eat rice cuz they think rice sucks

Reality: In the future, nobody will want to eat rice cuz they know it sucks

In order to deal with this rice crisis, some genkitard forms an idol group with his buddies and says a bunch of rice puns and shit.

Eh, it’s four minutes. Easy +1 to your list of show’s watched, but that’s about it.

 

 

Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records – 10/10 tbh

It’s really fucking good, and I’m not even on any layer of irony right now. Plz watch this perfection — you can thank me after with a blowjob.

 

 

Today’s recap:

Spoiler:

Great

  • Rokudenashi Majutsu Koushi to Akashic Records

 

Good

  • Sekaisuru Kado
  • Boruto

 

Okay

  • Frame Arms Girl

 

Meh

  • Love Kome – We Love Rice

 

Shit

  • Tsuki ga Kirei
  • Warau Salesman NEW
  • Boku no Hero Academia S2

 



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13 Comments

Eternal_Blizzard says:

Rokudenashi looks promising, 1st ep was pretty amusing. Salesman New is okayish, but I’m biased since I work on the subs of the original 80’s series. It’s definitely not for everybody.

kokujin-kun says:

>Raffing salesman

Oh right, still need to work on that shit -_-;

Cezar says:

Watch Virgin Soul and tell us about the similarities you share with the title. No homo.

?

Dark_Sage says:

Pretty much just the Shingeki part.

Black Shads says:

Does one qualify for the blowjob draft even if they already watched it?

Dark_Sage says:

The meek shall inherit the earth, but the patient shall inherit my dick. Sorry, but this cock yacht has sailed. :(

Black Shads says:

Hypothetically, what if said person is cosplaying Yuno?

Dark_Sage says:

Shit, they wouldn’t even need to brush their teeth. <3

Black Shads says:

Sign me up! When do I pick up my voucher?

Cezar says:

By the way, source that Toga Himiko hentai pls thanks

Dead says:

God, tumblr expats on twitter are quite possibly the worst organisms to exist. They’re people whose opinions were too shit for tumblr, which shouldn’t even be possible.

Proof: half of them are still cumming to osomatsu-san.

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