Translation Review: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight 02 [Sentai]

Article, C, C-Tier, Fansub Review, Summer 2018, Translation Review — By on July 22, 2018 3:24 pm

This post was written by kokujin-kun. He is not Dark_Sage.


Musical latecast anime with a girls-only cast and captions… you know this is going to be oversubbed.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

When it comes to reviewing spotty anime simulcasts, the first scripts that come to mind are those directly translated by Jennifer Challenger, who works for Sentai. If you look at her filmography, it’s basically a who’s-who of series that have been ruined by bad scripts (series where she simply supervised the translation are basically fine).

This season, it appears she’s in charge of Revue Starlight, an anime based off the musical mixed-media franchise. This means we’re in for a real adventure.

Release Information

Episode details.

Wap Level: 60% wap (Western name order, but honorifics whenever they remember to put them in)

English style: American English.

Speed: Two days late

External links.

Group website: https://www.hidive.com/tv/revue-starlight

 

 

Translation

Karaoke.

OP. Looks fine as far as I can see.

But insert not translated or even romaji’d for… copyright reasons? No ED this ep.

Main Script.

ERROR

So this is literally the first real line of this episode (ignore the “Claire and Flora” thing, it’s a detail too unimportant to be TLed anyway). This is the same phrase used in the OP and later in the episode, but instead of “grab your own star,” Challenger goes with… this rendition.

ERROR

Nan no oshibai ka wakaranai kedo, sugoku daitan de ookina karada no tsukai kata (何のお芝居か分からないけどすごく大胆で大きな体の使い方).

Literal TL: “I don’t know what play this is, but their use of the bodies is very bold and large.”

So the translator thinks the adjective ookina (big) describes the karada (body) instead of the phrase karada no tsukai kata (way of using the body). The translator justifies this line by implying—falsely—that Mahiru is at least the same size as the speaker when Banana is just commenting on the exaggerated ham fest the two girls are seemingly engaging in.

ERROR

“That violated the rules./I will definitely petition to invalidate [last night’s audition].”

Original line in Japanese was anna no rule ihan yo/zettai ni mukou datte shinsei suru kara (あんなのルール違反よ / 絶対に無効だって申請するから)

So here we have Junna, still in denial that she’s a total failure, clearly galled by the fact that she lost last night to a baka interloper named Karen.

I… have no idea what Challenger thought she heard here. Did she mistake 無効 (mukou) for 無口? Even with a Japanese script on hand?

ERROR

Sanka shichaimashita kara ne (参加 しちゃいましたからね). Geoffrey the Giraffe, gone but not forgotten, was talking about Karen, who delivered her eager-beaver, friendship-slash-supokon spiel on the tape-recorded message he played.

So the line should be “Because she [unwittingly] participated.” Hopefully the line will come across as dry and knowing that two best friends (?) will end up fighting each other as bitter rivals.

Yes, this anime is so stale and predictable I can see the ending from three mile away. Hopefully this will be the last episode I’m ever forced to watch.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Welp… I guess it’s different than the what Challenger went with in the previous episode. But congratulations for picking the worst possible alternative.

NITPICK

Haiyuu is not what I would call “star performers,” it’s just “performers.” Also, too, missing a “-san.”

ERROR

It’s “Saijo-san.” Normally, I don’t deduct points for getting honorifics wrongs because, really, who gives a shit about a couple of mishearings of this kind?

Unfortunately, this is one of those instances where honorifics, if you choose to keep them, actually clue you in on where the characters stand on the social hierarchy. As will be revealed in the end, the two are engaged in a long, bitter rivalry to be the top star, and Saijo is currently the second banana (no pun intended). Because of this, the younger girls call Tendou “Maya-sama” while Saijo only gets a “-san.”

Even in Karen’s lines prior to this that I touched on, she calls Maya “Tendou-san” while Saijo only gets a “Kuro-chan.”

MAJOR NITPICK

This is an all-girls school, but you use the word “actors”? The radical feminists will have your lunch.

Now I’ve been informed that “actors” is actually the preferred term, so ignore.

ERROR

“When you see the stage from a more comprehensive point of view, you will be able to grasp your role more objectively.”

Last half of the sentence is jibun no yakuwari wo yori kyakukanteki ni toraeru koto ga dekimasu (自分の役割を より客観的にとらえることが出来ます). Apparently the translator thought the kyaku in kyakukanteki meant “audience” and decided to go with that.

MAJOR NITPICK

Line should simply be “I could stand on the stage through my own shine.” Junna is saying that she has hit a dead end when it comes to sheer effort, but now she has a chance for her “shine” to be a shortcut to stardom.

COMMENT

Some people don’t agree with this translation. Yes, technically saiseisan is supposed to be “I am remade,” but “reborn” follows what’s been said in the OP and elsewhere in the episode.

 

Other Observations

That’s not how you do capitalization.

That’s not how you do ellipses.

This line was mistimed.

Good thing this manga is ending.

Spoiler:
Yes, I know “Citrus” refers to the studio,  you pricks.

Final Grade: C+

Honestly, the amount of errors were not distracting enough for me to totally discount the script, which has quite a few well thought-out lines. But then again, this is obviously a first-draft script that needed a second pass in both the translation and editing department. In any case, definitely worth the five dollars a month.

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3 Comments

Anon says:

huh, this was worse than I thought

at about 13 minutes in, it also mixes up 夢 and 有名 (should’ve been “you haven’t heard of it? it’s famous!”, ends up being “you haven’t heard of it? it’s my dream!)

KoolKidsK says:

That’s episode one. This review is for episode two. Idk why koku didn’t label which episode it was.

kokujin-kun says:

Ah, another mistake…

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