I had a pretty nice conversation with these guys on their channel before I wrote this post. I didn’t even really need to tell them what was wrong. They saw my timecodes and figured it out for themselves. Good stuff.
“huh” is being used in the interrogative here. Question marks, kthx.
<@lygerzero0zero> 7:05 was totally my fault
<@lygerzero0zero> 13:01 I assume needed a comma
<@lygerzero0zero> 14:19 I thought was awkward too, but I wasn’t sure how to better word it…
<@lygerzero0zero> unless you’re saying it should be “afternoon” and not “afternoons”?
<+Dark_Sage> Yeah. But it could use a rewording as well.
<+Dark_Sage> But as it stands, it works okay enough
<@lygerzero0zero> 16:30 went through a couple rewordings so it might have lost something along the way.
21:13 I assume it’s the period.
<@lygerzero0zero> 22:29-30, yeah that sounds repetitive.
<@lygerzero0zero> Second line I guess could have been “Look at that. They all left.” or something like that.
<@lygerzero0zero> was the second-to-last one about the TL note?
<+Dark_Sage> No, I prefer it to read “there are all sorts of candies”
<+Dark_Sage> well, not that phrasing
<+Dark_Sage> but there are over there is
<+Dark_Sage> “all sorts” implies plural
<+Dark_Sage> so does them :S
<@lygerzero0zero> oh. Right.
<@lygerzero0zero> actually the “them” doesn’t matter but yeah, it should be “are” because of the “all sorts”
since we talked so much, maybe we’ll appear next week?
Overall grade: B+
A new group with only two members did this well? Look out for these guys in the future. They’re really good.