Hmm, I wonder if they’ll be able to edit better than me…
Lol, what a teaser, right? Like that’d ever happen.
lol, you mean “Mom”
You know, I like Sean’s recommendation when he was cutting me down. “I run to school to build up my stamina.” The “outrunning” part is unnecessary.
People aren’t usually in courts, but they are on them.
would feel nice, so I went
What the fuck is the point of “through” here?
Does this line make anyone else squirm? Egh…
is = singular
are = plural
Guess which one “bite marks” falls under?
That’s not what “trip over” means. You want “trip”. Oho, I bet you don’t believe me, though. Suck it down, nii-sans~
Sorry, but “Like making us sticky?!” isn’t quite a sentence. It has a nice lead from the previous line, so make “like” lowercase.
“Hey guys, let’s practice ball throw.”
“OMG ball throw is the best!”
You probably want a period instead of a comma there in the first line.
There are a few ways to go about this without making it sound like shit. “Ah, it’s pretty dark now.” or “Ah, it’s become pretty dark.”
What do you mean “too”? Of course you’re tied, too. A tie inherently means both parties are tied. ._. How about “after all”?
Overall grade: B-
Beyond all these stupid, stupid errors, I think FFF’s script made more sense in some places. One example would be… in FFFpeeps’s version, they say that the’re going to bet on drinks. In Ayako-Nishishi’s, we said they were just going to have drinks afterward. Later in the episode when the green-haired girl complains about not having any money, it makes a whole lot more sense to realize that she owed them. I dunno if I was able to properly articulate that in the subs, but I think FFF made it more explicit.
If you had to archive a group based on episode 1… Yeah, it’d have to be Ayako-Nishishi’s (lol, I’m biased ofc), but despite FFF’s editing, they didn’t do a bad job. Saa~ This’ll be interesting.