Fansub Review: [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 05)

This post was written by Dark_Sage. He is Dark_Sage.

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Been sitting on this review for… 21 days it looks like. Guess it’s time to post it.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

 

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (450 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/wN3dPwmQ

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

Translation style: Crunchyrip.

 

External links.

Group website: http://commiesubs.com/

IRC channel: #[email protected]

8thsin’s translation critiques: http://8ths.in/fall-2013-fansub-comparison-reviews/#Machine // http://8ths.in/fff-vs-commie-machine-doll-ep4-side-by-side-translation-review/

 

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_03.14_[2013.11.08_02.07.39] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_03.43_[2013.11.08_02.08.17]

Opening. White font, black outline. Yup, standard and boring. Let’s move on.

Rating: Okay-.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_22.52_[2013.11.08_00.09.41] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_23.10_[2013.11.07_18.32.07] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_23.22_[2013.11.07_18.32.58] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_23.25_[2013.11.07_18.32.33]

Ending. This was just as absurd as FFF’s karaoke, with two notable differences:

1. Rather than just a few lines being unreadable, half of them were.

&

2. This lagged my computer.

It's not a top-tier rig anymore, but it shouldn't lag.
It’s not a top-tier rig anymore, but it shouldn’t stall on fucking karaoke.

Rating: Fail. You lag, you lose.

 

 

Typesetting.

Not applicable for this release.

 

 

 

 

Script Review

Karaoke.

The OP was fine, but the ED would require another two passes for full comprehension, which I’m not gonna waste my time on.

 

Main Script.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_00.27_[2013.11.08_00.20.07]

I wouldn’t expect anything less from you guys.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_01.13_[2013.11.08_00.21.19] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_01.15_[2013.11.08_00.21.23] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_01.19_[2013.11.08_00.21.33] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_01.22_[2013.11.08_00.21.40]

By giving you a lunch, obviously. Phrase this better.

“How could she have made me lunch for something I just did?!”

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_05.47_[2013.11.08_00.47.23]

You’re gonna need to be a bit more specific than that. What shouldn’t they meddle in?

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_05.47_[2013.11.08_00.34.28] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_05.49_[2013.11.08_00.34.34]

This scene was pretty hot until I remembered that girls don’t have prostates.

…and then it got so much better.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_07.42_[2013.11.07_17.42.56]

Stay away from I with that kinda language, Commie.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_08.15_[2013.11.07_17.47.39]

They translated “oi” as “my darling”.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_10.52_[2013.11.08_01.30.46]

Awkward and confusing.

“Rank 98 will enter the fray on the following day, even if nobody was eliminated in the prior battle.”

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_10.57_[2013.11.07_17.51.27] [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_10.59_[2013.11.07_17.51.32]

Just so long as your word use is a bit more varied in the future.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_11.07_[2013.11.08_01.31.20]

You mean “higher-ranked”. Two lines later you even used “lower-ranked”, so this isn’t even a case of ignorance; you just fucked up.

But for those whose heads this went over, this line is wrong because “higher ranked” is being used as an adjective to describe “students”. When a combination of words is used in the sense of an adjective, they are all connected by hyphens to distinguish them as such. Do note that adverbs (typically can be remembered as words that end in -ly) are not hypenated to other words when they’re all adjectifying something.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_13.59_[2013.11.07_18.20.21]

Redundant. No need for “already” here.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_14.33_[2013.11.07_18.21.08]

Generational? Why?

Go with next-generation or next-gen if you wanna be all hip and cool.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_14.43_[2013.11.07_18.21.30]

-with gold

Currency is generally the expected vehicle of bribery. Only signify what they’re being bribed with if it’s unexpected.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_14.56_[2013.11.08_01.53.20]

This isn’t an issue, but Raishin doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy who’d use such a stuffy phrase.

“Whatever happens, happens.” or “Qué será, será.” (accents optional for this specific phrase in an English release.)

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_17.22_[2013.11.07_18.24.29]

That’s kind of the point of a tryst.

Commie has issues with redundancy throughout this release.

[Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll - 05 [B4A5ADCA].mkv_snapshot_19.36_[2013.11.07_18.26.54]

So why couldn’t you just say “Turbid Haze’s power makes you completely undetectable”?

Commie has issues with redundancy throughout this release.

 

 

 

 

 

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: D

Script grade: C

Overall grade: C

Like I said in Hiryuu’s release, FFF is gonna be your best bet for this show.

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3 thoughts on “Fansub Review: [Commie] Unbreakable Machine-Doll (Episode 05)”

  1. Dat ending kara at least FFF’s is readable.

    I like how they put the lyrics over the ending credits. Best placement ever!

    Also I like how I have to strain my eyes in trying to read the other line with Komurasaki sitting there.

    Reply
  2. Okay, I’ve been accumulating the shows without watching so far. Unfortunately, I’ve been accumulating the HS ones. I’ll go delete them and get the FFF ones. Thanks for the reviews (I think that’s the first time I’ve actually thanked you. My bad).

    Reply

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